Introducing your Thai GF to friends GF

[ttthailand]

I normally believe in " live and let live" I don't really care what people do as long as it does not affect me. Having said that I am now thinking that perhaps I am wrong or at lease need to be careful with who I befriend.

I took my Thai GF to visit a farang friend and his Thai GF. His GF was a bar girl when he met her. She appears to be a nice girl and speaks polite but does get a little crazy when drinking. We all had a few nice evening and enjoyed a good laugh. My GF later told me that his GF was talking the entire time about her life in the bar and how much money she made and how many guys she had sex with etc etc. she also wanted to know how our relationship was and how rich I was and if I give her money or not. She also told my GF that she will be going back to work in the bar soon as she has another older guy who bought her a car and sends her money. If that was not enough, she asked my GF if she would like to come to her bar and see about working there, unbelievable !!!

My GF is college educated and has a good job. She was just being polite to me and going as I wanted to see my friend. She was a little confused about the entire situation and wondered why my friend would have a girl like that for a gf. She also felt shy about this girl asking personal questions and thought that she was very disrespectful to me by asking her to go work in a bar.

Now today I get a call from this girl ( number given to her by my friend) asking to talk to my GF.

The last thing I want is to have a bar girl trying to undermine my relationship and try to recruit my GF.

My GF can't believe and just smiles and laughs but I feel that this girl is bad news. What are your thoughts ?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

It's never worked out as a good idea for me.

They network, bitch and plot or are at different social levels and hate each other on sight.

Results varied between disaster and apocalypse.

Keep them separate.

PS

Your experience, about the norm.

PPS

Two possible outcomes from these girls meeting.

1. She recruits your gf.

2. Your gf pressures you to stop mixing with guys that go whoring.

Either way, you end up losing your friend or your gf.

Edited December 13, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Zooheekock]

I think your girlfriend is in a better position than you to judge who she should and shouldn't meet.

[harryfrompattaya]

This shall tell you stay around from all friends that have any GF's no benefit to you.

What will happen if friends GF said you very rich or you fool around a lot

Tell you GF you are not responsible about Farang Friend Thai GF and learn never again

Most of all you GF should be smarter they believe are the junk you wrote.

[Lex Talionis]

One way of looking at it is: this could be a litmus test for your relationship. If it can be undermined by a scheming bar girl best to know that right now. (don't know how established your relationship is.)

[fatfather]

Just be happy that your girlfriend is better than your friend's. You cannot change other people's choice

Fatfather

[Baa_Mango]

send her out and reap the rewards. fancy cars and some extra cash!?

[thailiketoo]

Either way it's a no win. If the guy has a good girl GF and he gives her more money than you give it's a no win. If the girl is a bar girl it's a no win because of the work stories and potential you may actually know her.

I got a dog for those times when I just have to talk to a mate. Works fine for me.

Edited December 13, 2014 by thailiketoo

[inbangkok]

Are you kidding me? You don't sound very confident about yourself or your relationship. Your buddies GF is not "undermining" your relationship as you state. If you are afraid your GF is actually going to run off and become a hooker because of what your friends GF tells her.... Well.... Clearly your relationship is not that strong. Sorry to be so blunt..... But someone needs to be.....

And if she does run off and become a hooker (which seems unlikely), well, good riddance!

However, I do sympathize with the fact you seem a little unnerved that your buddy has such a trashy GF.

Edited December 13, 2014 by inbangkok

[benalibina]

However, I do sympathize with the fact you seem a little unnerved that your buddy has such a trashy GF.

Of which he is not aware....most likely.......trust is in the eye of the beholder...

[Squeegee]

Ignorant, foolish sucker of a friend with poor taste and no face in Thailand vs. the girlfriend who may well be any one of a number of things (good things).

You decide.

(Though, if it were me, I'd tell the fool he's being played and looks a fool and wait for the mouthy bargirl to suddenly lose interest in being around your girlfriend. May affect your relationship with your friend though, see above.)

Edited December 13, 2014 by Squeegee

[Beetlejuice]

If a bargirl tried to influence my wife, my wife would tell her where to get off in no uncertain terms without any show of disapproval from me.

It seems that if our ttthailand`s girlfriend is still willing to talk with the the friend`s girlfriend, than she maybe that way inclined and there is a chance the BG could lead the girlfriend astray. If the girlfriend makes it obvious that she`s not interested then it will end there.

It is not the OP`s friend or his BG girlfriend that are to blame but rather I feel that our ttthailand has uncertainties regarding his girlfriend and worries about how strong is his relationship and her loyalties to him.

Best to let nature take it`s course, observe and see what happens. Better to be made aware now then have a disastrous marriage later on.

[ttthailand]

Are you kidding me? You don't sound very confident about yourself or your relationship. Your buddies GF is not "undermining" your relationship as you state. If you are afraid your GF is actually going to run off and become a hooker because of what your friends GF tells her.... Well.... Clearly your relationship is not that strong. Sorry to be so blunt..... But someone needs to be.....

And if she does run off and become a hooker (which seems unlikely), well, good riddance!

However, I do sympathize with the fact you seem a little unnerved that your buddy has such a trashy GF.

Not worried at all. I am sure my selection is correct and my gf would never think of doing anything like working as a bar girl. Her entire family would be in total shock and shame her. These B girls plant many seeds in some girls heads regarding money, gifts, party life etc that some farangs provide. I really don't feel like going down the path of trying to explain that my friend is a good guy even if he does have a gf that is not what some people look at as acceptable. I also don't want to explain about why some crazy guys give their gfs huge money and I don't .

Basically I was just wondering what others would do, avoid all meeting, just ignore it and still socialize with them ??

[frollywolly]

You can choose who you associate with in life. Both your GF and YOU can make that choice.

[Zooheekock]

Are you kidding me? You don't sound very confident about yourself or your relationship. Your buddies GF is not "undermining" your relationship as you state. If you are afraid your GF is actually going to run off and become a hooker because of what your friends GF tells her.... Well.... Clearly your relationship is not that strong. Sorry to be so blunt..... But someone needs to be.....

And if she does run off and become a hooker (which seems unlikely), well, good riddance!

However, I do sympathize with the fact you seem a little unnerved that your buddy has such a trashy GF.

Not worried at all. I am sure my selection is correct and my gf would never think of doing anything like working as a bar girl. Her entire family would be in total shock and shame her. These B girls plant many seeds in some girls heads regarding money, gifts, party life etc that some farangs provide. I really don't feel like going down the path of trying to explain that my friend is a good guy even if he does have a gf that is not what some people look at as acceptable. I also don't want to explain about why some crazy guys give their gfs huge money and I don't .

Basically I was just wondering what others would do, avoid all meeting, just ignore it and still socialize with them ??

1. Men who prostitutes, and especially men who marry prostitutes, are best avoided. Not because their partners are unacceptable but because the men are unacceptable.

2. Women who may be convinced by prostitutes to go on the game are probably best avoided too (as partners that is). And women who may be in danger of turning into gold diggers by contagion from prostitutes (which seems to be your worry) can be added to the list.

Edited December 13, 2014 by Zooheekock

[jpinx]

You probably need to talk it out with your girlfriend. If she is committed to you she will understand your concerns and will act accordingly. If your own relationship is strong your girlfriend will know what to say to the bargirl

OTOH -- if your girlfriend shows an inclination to chat with the bargirl -- keep your bags packed

Edited December 13, 2014 by jpinx

[DP25]

I've always had the opposite experience. Where my girlfriend makes the bargirl girlfriends feel uncomfortable. A lot of bar girls are ashamed of their job when around girls that have 'good' jobs. They get embarrassed and quiet when they find out she is a teacher, nurse, etc and not another bargirl. They will often make up some story to hide what they really do

That chick must be seriously hardened hooker to just not care about this anymore

[benalibina]

Read the OP again and i think the OP should be more worried about his friend than his gf her thoughts, this as he claims that she would not ever think about working as a bg. If OP has not told his friend about his gfs words then i would not be happy with a friend like the OP is.

[Squeegee]

Of course your friend is a good guy, he's your friend so it wouldn't be any other way (that's NOT sarcasm, it's the fact we usually choose our friends for being decent people).

Point is though, he's losing face in Thailand by being with a mouthy bar girl.

Just because a guy goes with a BG or ex-BG doesn't mean either of them are [insert any negative here], however your friend's girl is broadcasting in Thai all kinds of tacky stuff that is going to destroy his reputation here, even with hardened mongers. Absolutely nobody will have respect for him, inside or out of polite society, because his girl has no respect for him, nevermind herself, and now you and your GF.

Let him know she's taking the urine out of him or leave him be and avoid the sop.

However, I find it bizarre the pair of you can go out with them and not notice (even if you don't understand the slightest bit of Thai) that the bar girl is mouthing off about something she's clearly proud about. What can a girl from her probable background (poor, rural, etc.) and then being a prostitute, possibly have to talk at your GF so much about? Didn't you notice any sideways glances, occasional hushed tones or other clues she was proselytizing about something?

[ttthailand]

Read the OP again and i think the OP should be more worried about his friend than his gf her thoughts, this as he claims that she would not ever think about working as a bg. If OP has not told his friend about his gfs words then i would not be happy with a friend like the OP is.

I agree with you 100%. My friend knows all about this girl but does not really care... or should I say cares but knows what she is and is more with her for a good time than a real relationship, pay as you go ....

She still looks good but is for sure hardcore. From my understanding She has played the game for awhile and is not shy about anything. She is a party girl for sure ! Don't get me wrong, this girl is fun and exciting and if not a bar girl would perhaps be someone you would really want to be around. I don't want to judge her but I also respect my gf and I know my gf looks at her a little low.

This guy however is a good friend who I have know for a long time. My gf also now don't really want me to go with him unless she is there as she is afraid this girl will want to hook me up.

[ttthailand]

Of course your friend is a good guy, he's your friend so it wouldn't be any other way (that's NOT sarcasm, it's the fact we usually choose our friends for being decent people).

Point is though, he's losing face in Thailand by being with a mouthy bar girl.

Just because a guy goes with a BG or ex-BG doesn't mean either of them are [insert any negative here], however your friend's girl is broadcasting in Thai all kinds of tacky stuff that is going to destroy his reputation here, even with hardened mongers. Absolutely nobody will have respect for him, inside or out of polite society, because his girl has no respect for him, nevermind herself, and now you and your GF.

Let him know she's taking the urine out of him or leave him be and avoid the sop.

However, I find it bizarre the pair of you can go out with them and not notice (even if you don't understand the slightest bit of Thai) that the bar girl is mouthing off about something she's clearly proud about. What can a girl from her probable background (poor, rural, etc.) and then being a prostitute, possibly have to talk at your GF so much about? Didn't you notice any sideways glances, occasional hushed tones or other clues she was proselytizing about something?

we basically are out at a few clubs and dinner... Normal stuff. My friend and I talk and the girl basically talking to my gf. My gf not really saying much, only smiling and trying to be polite as she knows this guy is a good friend of mine.

I would not have really thought much about it as my gf does not really care for her, but when she calls my mobile and wants to talk to my gf it kind of surprised me and my gf. My gf talked to her but tried to quickly to end the conversation saying she is very busy. Just her having my number kind if bothers me.

[Beetlejuice]

Read the OP again and i think the OP should be more worried about his friend than his gf her thoughts, this as he claims that she would not ever think about working as a bg. If OP has not told his friend about his gfs words then i would not be happy with a friend like the OP is.

I agree with you 100%. My friend knows all about this girl but does not really care... or should I say cares but knows what she is and is more with her for a good time than a real relationship, pay as you go ....

She still looks good but is for sure hardcore. From my understanding She has played the game for awhile and is not shy about anything. She is a party girl for sure ! Don't get me wrong, this girl is fun and exciting and if not a bar girl would perhaps be someone you would really want to be around. I don't want to judge her but I also respect my gf and I know my gf looks at her a little low.

This guy however is a good friend who I have know for a long time. My gf also now don't really want me to go with him unless she is there as she is afraid this girl will want to hook me up.

Well, there`s your answer.

Then perhaps your girlfriend only tolerates your friend and his crude girlfriend to appease you.

It depends on who you respect more, your friend or your girlfriend? Probably be wise to stay away from your friend while he has the BG in tow if you are not comfortable with the situation.

Nothing else anyone can say on the subject, now you have to make the decision. Good luck.

[benalibina]

Read the OP again and i think the OP should be more worried about his friend than his gf her thoughts, this as he claims that she would not ever think about working as a bg. If OP has not told his friend about his gfs words then i would not be happy with a friend like the OP is.

I agree with you 100%. My friend knows all about this girl but does not really care... or should I say cares but knows what she is and is more with her for a good time than a real relationship, pay as you go ....

She still looks good but is for sure hardcore. From my understanding She has played the game for awhile and is not shy about anything. She is a party girl for sure ! Don't get me wrong, this girl is fun and exciting and if not a bar girl would perhaps be someone you would really want to be around. I don't want to judge her but I also respect my gf and I know my gf looks at her a little low.

This guy however is a good friend who I have know for a long time. My gf also now don't really want me to go with him unless she is there as she is afraid this girl will want to hook me up.

Ohhhh, your gf likes to be in control.....not good ym........not good. You are an adult so not need to be part in this silly way of thinking. Be your own man.

[VillageIdiot]

Read the OP again and i think the OP should be more worried about his friend than his gf her thoughts, this as he claims that she would not ever think about working as a bg. If OP has not told his friend about his gfs words then i would not be happy with a friend like the OP is.

I agree with you 100%. My friend knows all about this girl but does not really care... or should I say cares but knows what she is and is more with her for a good time than a real relationship, pay as you go ....

She still looks good but is for sure hardcore. From my understanding She has played the game for awhile and is not shy about anything. She is a party girl for sure ! Don't get me wrong, this girl is fun and exciting and if not a bar girl would perhaps be someone you would really want to be around. I don't want to judge her but I also respect my gf and I know my gf looks at her a little low.

This guy however is a good friend who I have know for a long time. My gf also now don't really want me to go with him unless she is there as she is afraid this girl will want to hook me up.

You insulted your girlfriend by taking her to meet your sleazy friends.

[ttthailand]

Village idiot, I agree with you. I do feel like I have exposed her to something that was not polite on my part. My gf is a great girl and kind of had a laugh about the entire matter but it has created this mistrust that if I go out with my friend without her something could happen and I screw around with another girl.

Like I said in the beginning.... You need to be careful with who you introduce your gf to.

[Squeegee]

Well, there`s your answer.

Then perhaps your girlfriend only tolerates your friend and his crude girlfriend to appease you.

It depends on who you respect more, your friend or your girlfriend? Probably be wise to stay away from your friend while he has the BG in tow if you are not comfortable with the situation.

Nothing else anyone can say on the subject, now you have to make the decision. Good luck.

This.

OP, now you've let us know your friend is no fool and in it for the kicks then the above quote applies 100% and there's little more to add.

[ttthailand]

Perhaps I should have titled this a little different, perhaps more of a warning to be careful.

As the saying goes," you are judged by the company you keep". Now my gf has a feeling that because of my friends gf perhaps I will be doing the same as him.

[rgs2001uk]

I've always had the opposite experience. Where my girlfriend makes the bargirl girlfriends feel uncomfortable. A lot of bar girls are ashamed of their job when around girls that have 'good' jobs. They get embarrassed and quiet when they find out she is a teacher, nurse, etc and not another bargirl. They will often make up some story to hide what they really do

That chick must be seriously hardened hooker to just not care about this anymore

Thats the beauty of the Thais, they can suss each other out within 2 minutes of knowing each other, and quickly identify the pee/nong status.

My mrs these days just uses the excuse of "bad stomach" and leaves.

Lost a good friend, he was told, he didnt listen his girls was different, no need to repeat the rest.

Did your friends g/f wai you, usually a dead certain giveaway.

Normal Thais can sniff these girls out and want nothing to do with them.

[VillageIdiot]

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You insulted your girlfriend by taking her to meet your sleazy friends.

.

Village idiot, I agree with you. I do feel like I have exposed her to something that was not polite on my part. My gf is a great girl and kind of had a laugh about the entire matter but it has created this mistrust that if I go out with my friend without her something could happen and I screw around with another girl.
Like I said in the beginning.... You need to be careful with who you introduce your gf to.

Thanks for taking my post so well.

I speak from experience. Before getting married and starting a family here, I had some wild friends and we had some hot times. But one thing I learned very early on, was never to mix different types of people socially in Thailand.

That has always worked for me. Choke dee.

[rgs2001uk]

Perhaps I should have titled this a little different, perhaps more of a warning to be careful.

As the saying goes," you are judged by the company you keep". Now my gf has a feeling that because of my friends gf perhaps I will be doing the same as him.

You will be judged, commented on and talked about by the company you keep.

You will also be judged by the way you dress, act and talk.

Its all about face and status.

You must be new to Thailand, taking a NON BG to the company of a BG, no wonder your mrs was pissed off, major loss of face.