My Model Son

[phazey]

Couple of rules i have for my kid.

1) Nothing interfere's with school. period.

2) all proceeds go into his own savings account, interest is donated to charity.

You may have seen him on TV already[1]

[1]Crimewatch (j/k:))

[Noel]

I think me and my boys mum are realistic to think that even if we do get some work for him then we will be able to control his destiny, we understand that there are some nasty elements involved when doing this kind of work and to be frank we are quite happy with our level of comitment and respect of his early years but we also think it could be good for him under the right circumstances

Any other thoughts on this?

Who is the driving force behind this venture, you or your "boys mum"?

Do you both have the same degree of legal parental status with which "to control his destiny"?

Just curious...

[Nikkijah]

I think me and my boys mum are realistic to think that even if we do get some work for him then we will be able to control his destiny, we understand that there are some nasty elements involved when doing this kind of work and to be frank we are quite happy with our level of comitment and respect of his early years but we also think it could be good for him under the right circumstances

Any other thoughts on this?

Who is the driving force behind this venture, you or your "boys mum"?

Do you both have the same degree of legal parental status with which "to control his destiny"?

Just curious...

some friends suggested that we take Nikki to another friends studio for some pics, it was a last minute decision so we went with it, nothing serious, so I suppose it was the decision of both of us.

not sure why you want to know but we are not married, our son has my second name, thats about it, why?

[Nikkijah]

I notice you pulled down your avatar the minute someone made a less than 100% complimentary statement

For those who miss the avatar photo of this wonder child, there is another picture of his in the OP’s profile with something strange sticking out of the top of his head, together with his wonder mother. Is that an ugly scar above the baby’s right eyebrow? It can’t be my monitor’s screen; I wiped it clean.

Very nice, though, in the picture composition, are the monks walking past in the background.

---------------

Maestro

Edit:

P.S. Am I hallucinating, or is the OP’s avatar back but with another grimacing face replacing the earlier one? Why can’t the avatar disappear, too, when I put somebody on my list of ignored users?

hahahahahahaha, some people....

no thats not a scar, unfortunately just before I took the pic my son was having fun in the grass and somehow a horrible bit of dirty grass infiltrated our privacy.

Yes theres another grimacing face on my avatar.

the monks were my idea, I hired them from an agency who deal with only monk jobs.

Not sure if you're being an ar$ehole maestro or just being playful here but you don''t really need to put me on your ignored users list do you? you could simply just not look at my posts

[Tippaporn]

I'm amazed at how horrible some of you folk on here can be. Truly amazed.

There are babies in commercial ads on TV all the time. If the guy wants to try it, so what. He was only asking for advise on how to go about it. Some of you have given good advise but some of you have just been plain nasty.

All i can say (through personal knowledge) is that it is a hard industry, with many knock's and set back's. Be prepared for those and take advise from the people who say that if your not careful, the kid could grow up to be a bit of a brat, i have seen them but i have also seen kids in the industry who have grown up to be great. Best of luck.

Folks, take note of Mr. Bo's opening line. Some of you seem to be concerned with the welfare of the OP's child - that child advertising might adversely affect his personality and life as a whole - yet from some of the disdainful responses here it appears that a few of our posters suffer with poor personality traits of their own.

As with anything it is neither good nor bad but what you make it to be. Hypothesize all you like but you won't know how it will turn out until you try it. It will be a learning experience for all, including the little tyke. What else is life about? If there's joy in it for all concerned then go for it. If not then don't, or get out when it stops being fun.

[Neeranam]

As with anything it is neither good nor bad but what you make it to be. Hypothesize all you like but you won't know how it will turn out until you try it. It will be a learning experience for all, including the little tyke. What else is life about? If there's joy in it for all concerned then go for it. If not then don't, or get out when it stops being fun.

Here here!

[meemiathai]

I deal with spoiled brats everyday. I do not know they were all movie stars.

[N47HAN]

As far as my opinion goes up to you ..your kid....your choice....

But no-one so far has pointed you in the direction of c.s.a 's or suchlike.

Was That not your original request before everyone put there four penneth in?

[Mossfinn]

Well Nikkijah, you appear switched on and know what you are doing and as I have no young children of my own I can't by experience comment whats good or bad for young children in this particular instance.

But if its controlled, and you appear to have suggested it is and you use it to support further education, you have obviously gone thru some pretty important life changing decisions.

You will also accept that some people here take great joy in attacking rather than supporting, that doesn't mean that all dissenting voices should be silenced, but perhaps maybe a little more controlled and not vitriolic.

Just my opinion on the responses.

For my opinion on your post I wouldn't feel too agrieved at commencing it, I think you have said you wished you hadn't started it, but I can't really see what harm you can do as long as it doesn't become obsessive and affect his schooling or character.

Good Luck

Moss

[Nikkijah]

As far as my opinion goes up to you ..your kid....your choice....

But no-one so far has pointed you in the direction of c.s.a 's or suchlike.

Was That not your original request before everyone put there four penneth in?

excuse my ignorance but what is a c.s.a? Not a child support agency I hope...

[N47HAN]

As far as my opinion goes up to you ..your kid....your choice....

But no-one so far has pointed you in the direction of c.s.a 's or suchlike.

Was That not your original request before everyone put there four penneth in?

excuse my ignorance but what is a c.s.a? Not a child support agency I hope...

NOOOOO dunna wanna see them !

A c.s.a is a person designated by the production company specifically to put the "right" facein the role that is to be portrayed in the advert, film etc..etc...

google it for bkk and youll be on the right track m8

good luck

[Nikkijah]

Well Nikkijah, you appear switched on and know what you are doing and as I have no young children of my own I can't by experience comment whats good or bad for young children in this particular instance.

But if its controlled, and you appear to have suggested it is and you use it to support further education, you have obviously gone thru some pretty important life changing decisions.

You will also accept that some people here take great joy in attacking rather than supporting, that doesn't mean that all dissenting voices should be silenced, but perhaps maybe a little more controlled and not vitriolic.

Just my opinion on the responses.

For my opinion on your post I wouldn't feel too agrieved at commencing it, I think you have said you wished you hadn't started it, but I can't really see what harm you can do as long as it doesn't become obsessive and affect his schooling or character.

Good Luck

Moss

Cheers Moss, not sure what life changing decisions you mean but I appreciate your post.

There does seem to be too many people ready to made idjits of themselves just for their own amusement, this saddens me, I wonder to myself what kind of people they are! I also wonder what would happen if I met them in a bar or restaurant and started the topic with them, would they be such gob-shites then? I think not.

Thank you to everybody who had something helpful to say, even if I didn't want to hear it, some of your comments have made me think about what I'm doing and have also prepared me better should I choose to continue.

now, back to my original post - does anybody have any tips/experience/contacts?

Nikkijah

[Nikkijah]

As far as my opinion goes up to you ..your kid....your choice....

But no-one so far has pointed you in the direction of c.s.a 's or suchlike.

Was That not your original request before everyone put there four penneth in?

excuse my ignorance but what is a c.s.a? Not a child support agency I hope...

NOOOOO dunna wanna see them !

A c.s.a is a person designated by the production company specifically to put the "right" facein the role that is to be portrayed in the advert, film etc..etc...

google it for bkk and youll be on the right track m8

good luck

thanks N47HAN, I'll look now

[Maestro]

Here here!

There there!

---------------

Maestro

[Maestro]

I deal with spoiled brats everyday. I do not know they were all movie stars.

And then, there was a time before movies:

“Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers.”

_ Socrates, Greek philosopher

---------------

Maestro

[jing jing]

For my opinion on your post I wouldn't feel too agrieved at commencing it, I think you have said you wished you hadn't started it, but I can't really see what harm you can do as long as it doesn't become obsessive and affect his schooling or character.

the OP probably meant he wishes he hadn't started this topic, eh?

sorry to be a trifle negative in my previous post but there is a tremendous amount of rejection in the business even for top models and for sure one needs a very thick skin to properly deal with it.

it's one thing if you are approached by an agent or producer and asked if you would mind putting your child in a commercial - in that case there's not much to lose - but putting your 18 month old kid out there on a bunch of cattle calls just seems a bit odd to me.

I'll admit my wife and I considered getting some commercial exposure for our son based upon others reactions to him, but... he's only 9 months old right now and the bottom line is that I'm just not comfortable shopping him around at such a tender age. maybe if someone walked up and offered to put him in an ad I'd be tempted but I know the chances of that happening are next to nil.

some food for thought, nikkijah:

you and your boy's mom think he's the cutest thing in the world right now, right? what if you put him out there on a bunch of castings and never get a callback -- would that in some way cause you to believe that maybe he isn't as adorable as you'd thought, since professionals - people who should know about such things - aren't interested in him? how would that affect your feelings about your son, and his feelings about himself?

[kerryk]

In answer to your question, do I have some experience, yes. I have four daughters. The last one was the beauty. Not only was she the beauty she seems to have gotten the brains also. She grew up in the South of the US where it is common for mothers to groom their daughters to be beauty queens. The stories of the stage mothers are legend in that part of the country.

My daughter at six years old was watching a parade where the young beauty queen of a small Southern town was riding in a Corvette waving at all of the people lining the streets. She said she wanted to be the queen next year so she could ride in the Corvette. It cost me a couple of hundred dollars for the dress and such for her to compete the next year. She won the contest and got to ride in the Corvette.

Her mother, a typical Southern Belle (and ex model) was very excited about her career as a super child model and we had a couple of offers. I had a talk with the child. She was always a very serious child and knew her mind. She said she did not want to do that anymore. I convinced her mother not to pressure her into doing anything that she did not really want to do.

She is now in her last year of college. She has had the starring role in numerous class plays and a couple of off Broadway productions. She can dance and sing professionally and has appeared on local and national TV shows along with being a straight A student at a well known university. She has been dating a construction guy for the past four years who earned his first million building homes by the time he was 26 (a college drop out).

I was tempted ever since she was a baby to use her beauty and natural ability to make money. However I also felt that using a child for money was somewhat like slavery as the child did not have the right to say yes or no.

I did however insist that her and her sisters begin to clean my restaurant after school for a couple of hours to earn their allowance.

When they were very young I built them a playhouse in the employee area of my restaurant and used my employees as babysitters while myself and her mother worked.

I remember a dishwasher named Pedro saying, “please Mr. Kerry just let me wash dishes I don wan play Barbie’s no more.”

Kids today have a lot of problems today that I didn’t have when I was growing up. If you have been to a photo shoot and have an idea what goes on or you have seen what models go through and feel that is appropriate for a child then that is your decision.

The lights are hot. The photographers are coked up. The agency people are reminiscent of pirates of old and one out of a thousand makes a buck out of the process.

[Nikkijah]

For my opinion on your post I wouldn't feel too agrieved at commencing it, I think you have said you wished you hadn't started it, but I can't really see what harm you can do as long as it doesn't become obsessive and affect his schooling or character.

the OP probably meant he wishes he hadn't started this topic, eh?

sorry to be a trifle negative in my previous post but there is a tremendous amount of rejection in the business even for top models and for sure one needs a very thick skin to properly deal with it.

it's one thing if you are approached by an agent or producer and asked if you would mind putting your child in a commercial - in that case there's not much to lose - but putting your 18 month old kid out there on a bunch of cattle calls just seems a bit odd to me.

I'll admit my wife and I considered getting some commercial exposure for our son based upon others reactions to him, but... he's only 9 months old right now and the bottom line is that I'm just not comfortable shopping him around at such a tender age. maybe if someone walked up and offered to put him in an ad I'd be tempted but I know the chances of that happening are next to nil.

some food for thought, nikkijah:

you and your boy's mom think he's the cutest thing in the world right now, right? what if you put him out there on a bunch of castings and never get a callback -- would that in some way cause you to believe that maybe he isn't as adorable as you'd thought, since professionals - people who should know about such things - aren't interested in him? how would that affect your feelings about your son, and his feelings about himself?

I don't think anything could stop us thinking what we think about him now, we adore him and he adores us and that is very important to us, as I said in previous posts, we have been to a few shoots and we haven't had a call and we have been fine about it, we are not trying to push him into a world of work, if we ever get a job and it is not as we had imagined or we fell that it is not right for him then we will stop it, we are not relying on it for income.

I would hope that if a job did come our way that it would be a pleasant experience, if the lights were too hot or the photographers were coked up(see kerryk post) then we would be out of there in a shot.

[marshbags]

For my opinion on your post I wouldn't feel too agrieved at commencing it, I think you have said you wished you hadn't started it, but I can't really see what harm you can do as long as it doesn't become obsessive and affect his schooling or character.

the OP probably meant he wishes he hadn't started this topic, eh?

sorry to be a trifle negative in my previous post but there is a tremendous amount of rejection in the business even for top models and for sure one needs a very thick skin to properly deal with it.

it's one thing if you are approached by an agent or producer and asked if you would mind putting your child in a commercial - in that case there's not much to lose - but putting your 18 month old kid out there on a bunch of cattle calls just seems a bit odd to me.

I'll admit my wife and I considered getting some commercial exposure for our son based upon others reactions to him, but... he's only 9 months old right now and the bottom line is that I'm just not comfortable shopping him around at such a tender age. maybe if someone walked up and offered to put him in an ad I'd be tempted but I know the chances of that happening are next to nil.

some food for thought, nikkijah:

you and your boy's mom think he's the cutest thing in the world right now, right? what if you put him out there on a bunch of castings and never get a callback -- would that in some way cause you to believe that maybe he isn't as adorable as you'd thought, since professionals - people who should know about such things - aren't interested in him? how would that affect your feelings about your son, and his feelings about himself?

I don't think anything could stop us thinking what we think about him now, we adore him and he adores us and that is very important to us, as I said in previous posts, we have been to a few shoots and we haven't had a call and we have been fine about it, we are not trying to push him into a world of work, if we ever get a job and it is not as we had imagined or we fell that it is not right for him then we will stop it, we are not relying on it for income.

I would hope that if a job did come our way that it would be a pleasant experience, if the lights were too hot or the photographers were coked up(see kerryk post) then we would be out of there in a shot.

Time will tell if your child will benefit from this venture.

Me, i stick by my origial observations as a parent and i believe the place for young children is safely in the sole control of the parents and the bossom / security of a family unit.

After all we are referring to the most important period of bonding in a childs life............infancy and infants.

You need to be totally in control at least until the next stage, adolescence, in my humble opinion.

This is the time when you lay the foundations that will hopefully teach them and provide guidelines on their journey through life.

It is difficult enough to guide them in a cultured society that differs so much from others without distractions.

Hand on your hearts, how many do not have problems in this area when wanting to modify certain behavioural differences with your spouse / partner.

This is not a racist thing either, but the main obstacle we face as cross cultured families.

Hence in my humble opinion this is why i would not encourage what you are doing because the odds on behavioural differences are going to multiply of whatever to one against you.

On reflection maybe i should have put the same points across, while leaving my personal feelings out of it.

At the end of the day you take on board what you want from our varying points of view on this topic

We only wish for one objective and that is the wellbeing of infants and their future, just bear that in mind.

marshbags

Edited August 13, 2006 by marshbags

[VanZam]

Just out of interest, who would get the money?

Would you (a) open him a bank account or perhaps put the money in trust (after all, he's the one working) or ( keep it for yourself, giving yourself the same status as the garland vendors parents?

IMHO child labor is wrong, model or not.

If money isn't the issue here, then please explain the reason behind it. Not like he's going to consider it a good experience. I can't see any reason to do this other than your own wants.

[Neeranam]

Just out of interest, who would get the money?

Would you (a) open him a bank account or perhaps put the money in trust (after all, he's the one working) or (cool.gif keep it for yourself, giving yourself the same status as the garland vendors parents?

IMHO child labor is wrong, model or not.

If money isn't the issue here, then please explain the reason behind it. Not like he's going to consider it a good experience. I can't see any reason to do this other than your own wants.

I would try to keep all the money in their bank accounts, but in reality probably wouldn't

If I let my kids be models, it's purely for the money - why shouldn't they work to help their poor mother and father?

[tourleadersi]

I am not a parent so I cannot accurately comment on this topic. I do recall in my childhood never being pressured by my parents to do anything and I will always love them for that.

When I was 20 I worked with a lad who was quite handsome, and admitted quite quickly that he was a child model up until the age of 16. I had to share digs with him for a couple of weeks and got to know him pretty well. He seemed distracted a lot of the time and eventually I got him to talk.

Turns out that 2 years earlier he had suffered a total nervous breakdown because of the pressure (admittedly self imposed) he felt to always 'look good'. He said he couldn't handle the idea of someone not finding him attractive. When someone in the training group that he liked expressed an interest in me he started to wobble so I had to nip it in the bud with her (he was a mate.) What he couldn't seem to understand was that not all women are going to find thin, blonde guys attractive, that they like different types just the same as us men. The poor guy was a nervous wreck most of the time, always far too concious of his appearance. It seemed like his whole life had become one long photo shoot. He admitted to being desperately unhappy and was on medication to fight the depression.

He must have been predisposed to this mental illness, but at the age of 2 how would his parents have ever known? Whilst he was successful it wasn't that apparent, he only really fell apart when he no longer fitted the profile the modelling agencies wanted.

You as a parent have to decide what is best for your child. It is possible that deciding to do this will benefit the child more than deciding not too. However evidence does show that this is a bit of a gamble. What other situations would a parent put their child forward for knowing that there is a 10% chance they will suffer long term mental damage? Not many I am sure. We all want our children to be adored by more than our own social circle, to be told that our 'creation' is indeed one of the best. That is a natural parenting instinct, but not one that should be as strong as the instinct to always protect that child from potential harm.

My opinion? (For what its worth!) Wait until the child is old enough to make a decision like that on their own. How many parents are resented by their children becasue they interferred with their destinies?

[qualtrough]

Viewing the comments I have to imagine that many posters view adverts depicting children as little short of pornography. Not so much for any sexual content but because they evidently feel it is so evil. I do hope that they are not patronizing any media that use children in advertising. Heaven forfend!

My wife signed our two daughters up with an agency some time ago. The girls love it. They have been out to 3 casting calls without success and there were no repercussions. Some good lessons there-you don't always win and there is always another day. We experienced no negative vibes from other families at the castings and everyone was quite friendly and professional.

Recently one daughter was chosen for a commercial that will shoot next week. She is thrilled. I will be monitoring the process closely and if she is not enjoying it or if I feel that it is affecting her in a negative way that will be the end of it. My only worry concerns the daughter not selected, but she appears to be handling it quite well and I am sure that one day too she will get the call. The money is good and will go into their accounts. Right now it is a lark, but it would be quite nice if they accumulated enough money for college by the time they are ready.

[Mossfinn]

Hence in my humble opinion this is why i would not encourage what you are doing because the odds on behavioural differences are going to multiply of whatever to one against you.

On reflection maybe i should have put the same points across, while leaving my personal feelings out of it.

At the end of the day you take on board what you want from our varying points of view on this topic

We only wish for one objective and that is the wellbeing of infants and their future, just bear that in mind.

marshbags

I liked this response marshbags, much more measured, but it is hard sometimes to keep personal feelings from boiling over but in my opinion I like to read response without flame particularly as I really feel nikkijah has the best intentions for his child,obviously.

After all he is the best judge.

Good Luck

Moss

Edited August 13, 2006 by Mossfinn

[Mossfinn]

Just out of interest, who would get the money?

I think he said in an earlier post that he would put it toward a better education for his child.

Moss

[Mossfinn]

perhaps it might help pay for a better education of possibly a visit to my very old grandparents who have not had the chance to see my son yet...

Post 12 a better education or visits to the grandparents,

Under controlled circumstances I really can't see a problem, however coked up photographers does put the whole thing in a different light, if this prevalent in the industry, what else could be lurking in dark corners.

But, then I suggest that the boy wouldn't for a second be out of the parents eagle eye.

Good Luck

Moss

[tourleadersi]

After all he is the best judge.

The best judge is the person who is most informed on the subject. Top marks to the OP for seeking out others opinions before going through with this. I think its safe to say Nikkijah that your child is in safe hands.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Nikkijah]

After all he is the best judge.

The best judge is the person who is most informed on the subject. Top marks to the OP for seeking out others opinions before going through with this. I think its safe to say Nikkijah that your child is in safe hands.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks tourleadersi, just what I wanted to hear

Everything will be under our eagle eyes and we will obviously be watching very closely, I too would love to get enough in my sons bank account to help him in the future, or as I said before enough to visit his great-grand parents - this would be my first priority.

Thanks again to everybody who has had something constructive to say, I've had pm's from other members who have said similar things but are very wary of posting on the forum because of all the stupid replies! It shouldn't be like this, people should be able to say what they like without getting torn to peices because of their harmless opinions

[Donz]

Yes go for it, what do you have to lose, i mean if your careful you will be ok.

half half kids are the best

[Tippaporn]

I'll offer you my encouragement, also, Nikkijah. To add to my earlier advice I'll point out that while seeking counsel from others ofttimes you will hear a great deal of negativity. Those with similar experience or first hand knowledge of an unfavorable outcome will be the first to decry your intentions and strenuously, erroneously suggest that there can only be one eventuality resulting from such a decision. Or, that the odds are so unfavourably stacked against you that it would be sheer folly to even make the attempt.

You must understand that the experience of others has nothing to do with you. How well you can maintain focus on your desire is strictly up to you. And even then it requires more than simply desiring. You must also have belief and trust in the reality of your desire.

On the other hand, listening to the negative experiences of others has the beneficial aspect of providing you with an awareness of what possibly can go awry. This should not be meant to encourage your fears but rather assist you in fine-tuning your own expectant desired results.

Qualtrough serves up a fine example of a positive outcome. And by doing so he's sending the message that not only can you have what you want but more importantly there exists the very real possibility of joy within it. Cheers for that, qualtrough.

Just a few more comments from me.

Just out of interest, who would get the money?

Would you (a) open him a bank account or perhaps put the money in trust (after all, he's the one working) or ( keep it for yourself, giving yourself the same status as the garland vendors parents?

It is work on behalf of the parents, also. They are quite practically acting as agents, managers. They play their part and their contributions are as vital to the overall success as is the child's naturally given contribution. Each party deserves to reap a portion of the benefits.

IMHO child labor is wrong, model or not.

The use of the term "child labour" heavily suggests many negative connotations and is purposely used to amplify your personal beliefs, VanZam. There is nothing inherently 'wrong' with a child earning income. I've cut my neighbors lawns and delivered newspapers as a child. There was value within that which I would not discount. And neither can you rightly discount what potential value exists for a child entering into modeling.

If money isn't the issue here, then please explain the reason behind it. Not like he's going to consider it a good experience. I can't see any reason to do this other than your own wants.

The assumption that gives logic to your argument here is that any child couldn't possibly find joy within the experience. I believe qualtrough would beg to differ and can provide evidence that there is truth in the ability to have a joyful experience.

Since it's evident that outcomes for any endeavour can range from outrageous 'success' to catastrophic 'failure,' wanted to unwanted, then it is equally obvious that there is truth in all of it. Up to you what you choose as your 'truth.' My suggestion is that, since there is truth in everything, choose truths which are not limiting and those which offer beneficial value to you and those you love.

Edited August 13, 2006 by Tippaporn