Serious And Disturbing Email

[Alreadyinuse]

I can’t really add much to what has already been said.

I can only raise a question, do you believe in your wife? I don’t mean that you actually “trust” her but when it comes to something like this you have a choice of believing your wife or some stranger.

If she is “The love of your life” every time you are together and gives you no reason for thinking that you are not the center of her universe – can you live with just that?

Two movies come to mind. In one Harrison Ford’s wife that had been killed in a plane crash was going away with her long time lover for a week end. Harrison had absolutely no idea about the affair and was devastated to find out. He looks back in time in his mind and asks the question “when was the last time something was the truth”?

I can’t recall the details of the other movie but in one scene one of the leading ladies taking to another about her coming home unexpectedly early one day and finding her husband in the shower with another woman. “What did you do”? Her friend asks. “I slipped out quietly without them noticing and never again went home unexpectedly without phoning first.

Beachcomber.

On the other hand if there is no trust, youre either deceiving yourself or your partner. Get out of there.

Its like supporting a relationship with oxygene, without it there is no substance what so ever.

I think that Tippaporn would need a PA to take notes on serious posts, as Tipp most likely is on the worst of emotional rollercoasters.

Someone else mentioned the problem is not old and yet there is 25 pages of advice.

[Alreadyinuse]

I can’t really add much to what has already been said.

I can only raise a question, do you believe in your wife? I don’t mean that you actually “trust” her but when it comes to something like this you have a choice of believing your wife or some stranger.

If she is “The love of your life” every time you are together and gives you no reason for thinking that you are not the center of her universe – can you live with just that?

Two movies come to mind. In one Harrison Ford’s wife that had been killed in a plane crash was going away with her long time lover for a week end. Harrison had absolutely no idea about the affair and was devastated to find out. He looks back in time in his mind and asks the question “when was the last time something was the truth”?

I can’t recall the details of the other movie but in one scene one of the leading ladies taking to another about her coming home unexpectedly early one day and finding her husband in the shower with another woman. “What did you do”? Her friend asks. “I slipped out quietly without them noticing and never again went home unexpectedly without phoning first.

Beachcomber.

On the other hand if there is no trust, youre either deceiving yourself or your partner. Get out of there.

Its like supporting a relationship with oxygene, without it there is no substance what so ever.

I think that Tippaporn would need a PA to take notes on serious posts, as Tipp most likely is on the worst of emotional rollercoasters.

Someone else mentioned the problem is not old and yet there is 25 pages of advice.

[Tippaporn]

He's talking about the emailer. He's already said his wife is not computer literate.

OK, thanks. But when and how was it established that the e-mailer was a woman for sure? If anyone can point me to that post it will be appreciated.

It hasn't been officially confirmed yet, qualtrough, and I'm sorry if my constant references to the emailer as "she" caused confusion. I do qualify that reference whenever I use it, though. It's simply my strong suspicion that it's a woman regardless of whether or not the emails are a hoax or not.

[qualtrough]

Thanks Tip. Whatever you do avoid the temptation to rush things. If she is cheating the damage is done, but if not you could end up creating a problem where none existed before. Having said that, I am sorry to say that I have been in similar situations before and understand the emotional roller coaster you are on. Not getting any sleep can't help matters any either...

[meemiathai]

One thing that works with Thai is talking about something that you dreamed about. It depends on her background, if she believes in stuff like that (ghosts, handreading, etc..) you will have a good change it will work.

Call her and tell you had a bad dream. You dreamed she was in a car with someone and had an accident. Say you have to call to know how she is and if she is not hurt. Tell her you are scared something is wrong with her. Your voice will have to sound scared and worrying.

If anything of the car accident is true she will be totally blown away and might "break". If nothing is true she will stay cool and tell you nothing is wrong (unless she is an Oscar class actress). Getting to someone with a story like that can take them of guard. And make the call at a strange hour, like 4 am or something.

Good post , mate! Brilliant!

[meemiathai]

I met my Thai wife in '01 on my first trip to Thailand, precisely 18 hours after my plane touched down.

This get the warning bells ringing IMHO.

I thought you had a more open mind.

[austallia_1980]

Mate,

1. The email is sent under a farang email addy. Does your wife have any friends with farang husbands or boyfriends?

2. The fact that you have been away 8 months is sort of scary imho, from all the stuff I hear on Stickman. I dont think you have stated where you met her, and I will not ask you. Lets just say that if you met her in certain places...

3. This is a close jealous women 95% of the time, regardless if it is true or false.

4. The fact she doesnt use computers and hasnt tried to take money off you already, really makes me believe she is honest...

5. This should be really easy to figure out if you just confront her.

[austallia_1980]

BTW, someone phoned my apartment one day. My GF picked up. The person on other line said something like "X is my girl friend". She figured out who it was quickly and then went to police station to file a report against them. Then she threathened them with a bunch of legal jargon that I doubt they even understood.

[austallia_1980]

This scenerio is somewhat far stretched. Have you considered a farang wrote you this email pretending to be a thai women because he didnt have the balls to confront you on his own?

[chuchok]

Tip me old China,

I don't want to sound negative mate,but if you wife is having a fling with a bloke,(And you want to take it further) then you do have a legal case if you can prove infidelity, (or by getting her to admit to it).Don't quote me exactly, but under Thai Law, you can sue the bloke for damages.

[mouse]

Dear Tip, having a Thai friend talk to the informing person is best, as he or she will surely pick up any extra titbits that you or I would miss.

I also suggest that someone head to your house and borrow your truck then check it for repairs and also the name of the Insurance company.

You should then contact the Insurance company yourself or have your Thai friend do so on your behalf and request the name of the driver, involved in the alledged accident with your vehicle.

I personnaly believe that it is dangerous for your to venture to Bangkok to confirm your fears and that you should do so from a safe distance for now. Block the accounts if you must / or lighten them and then have a Private Eye do the dirty work.

I must say, although I am very sorry for your predicament, you keep saying you do not want to mistrust her and then you proceed printing you entire life together onto the Internet for all to see and comment on. This is a lot worse than confiding in only one professional P.I. The trust is already broken.

I personally think that you should not give up yet and follow through without letting the cat out of the bag. I understand and feel for what you are going through, but, hold tight my friend, you will know soon enough.

Edited August 24, 2006 by mouse

[Tippaporn]

One thing that works with Thai is talking about something that you dreamed about. It depends on her background, if she believes in stuff like that (ghosts, handreading, etc..) you will have a good change it will work.

Call her and tell you had a bad dream. You dreamed she was in a car with someone and had an accident. Say you have to call to know how she is and if she is not hurt. Tell her you are scared something is wrong with her. Your voice will have to sound scared and worrying.

If anything of the car accident is true she will be totally blown away and might "break". If nothing is true she will stay cool and tell you nothing is wrong (unless she is an Oscar class actress). Getting to someone with a story like that can take them of guard. And make the call at a strange hour, like 4 am or something.

Good post , mate! Brilliant!

Yes, excellent post Khun Jean. And you jog my memory, too. I happen to remember quite a few of my dreams. I don't know why, that's just the way it is. It's nothing I can turn on or off at will.

I now recall a dream I had when I was back in the States almost two years ago. The dream took place in the States and my wife was in it. Now get this, she was with a new found man. I don't like to think it's relevant but now that recollection comes back it is awfully queer.

But my wife believes in dreams. To what extent I truly don't know. Although, she does give them an amount of credibility. Would I use that as a ploy? Probably not. I think it would just put her a bit on edge. I doubt she'd break down and blurt out, "Yes, you caught me. The dream is true!."

Just my opinion, mind you.

[Tippaporn]

I met my Thai wife in '01 on my first trip to Thailand, precisely 18 hours after my plane touched down.

This get the warning bells ringing IMHO.

I thought you had a more open mind.

True, Neeranam, not the usual route. But there's little outside the realm of possiblitly. If you think that's quick I believe it's Totster who actually beat me out by about 12 hours. Jing jing. Nothing is written anywhere in stone that says it can't happen.

On the other hand, how many marriages break apart even after quite lengthy romances? Plenty. I don't believe there are any formulae for long lasting success, at least not in terms of prenuptial time spent together. But that's me.

[Cigarette Burn]

I don't realy think the fact that his wife has not hit his bank account for extra cash holds much weight in respect to her being honest or not. Why would she want to spoil a good thing?

Be realistic about this.

Tippaporn is away in the states and sends her money so she does not have to work.

She and maybe her cop fella have a little love nest in the city at no expence.

The cop has a nice truck to use when he feels like it.

They are not likely to spoil all this by taking a lump of money out of the account and blowing the game, you think the cop is gonna support her once she is destitute? Yeh right he most likely has a wife already.

Maybe she is hoping for a house in her name in the country somewhere. Who knows but don't be fooled by the fact that she has not been asking or taking extra cash.

There are many 'slow burn' cons out there.

Sorry to be negative but someone has to point this out.

I wish you all the best Tip, Remember also your not on your own, this is happening to hudereds maybe thousands of people as i type this post.

CB

[meemiathai]

"Yes, you caught me. The dream is true!."

Sorry but that was quite funny.

Now that I have had a few beers and a vodka I'm going to be more honest. Pardon me.

I find it hard to believe that a tv member who has sincerely posted here for such a long time would try to make up something which is not real. Are you sure you are not doing an experiment on us or not trying to advertise some PI services here? Forgive me for asking coz I don't know you and it's human nature to doubt things(like what you are doing). I believe you are an understanding person who will not be offended by this.

If everything was true, ignore my stupidity, please.

Ask yourself if you have fulfill the needs of your woman. Is your relationship romantic? If she gets love from you and is satisfied, if she feels financially secure being with you, and did you ever say you were 6 foot something tall with pure muscles?(maybe I remember wrongly), then why will she be so stupid to waste someone like that? Do you have no self-confidence at all?

I have seen some thai women betraying their chinese husbands here in HK, but those husbands are mostly the ones who deserved it. They are not romantic, they think men are superior to women, they give their wives no freedom, they treat them worse than domestic helpers.

[meemiathai]

One more thing! Don't be so miserable like the sky is going to fall!

You have got people here supporting you! And that makes you a lucky enough guy already!

If things do really get bad, I promise you I will take care of you! I can easily find you a beautiful and faithful thai wife provided you are genuinely a nice person.

[Tippaporn]

Tip me old China,

I don't want to sound negative mate,but if you wife is having a fling with a bloke,(And you want to take it further) then you do have a legal case if you can prove infidelity, (or by getting her to admit to it).Don't quote me exactly, but under Thai Law, you can sue the bloke for damages.

Thanks, Chuch. My 13 year marriage to a western woman ended in a nasty legal battle. Not that we had much to fight over. Only after all was said and done did I come to the conclusion that the emotional stress, anxiety and bitterness was not worth it.

Besides, if he's a Thai cop I might not make it to the first court appearance. I'd be in another TV forum looking down from above reading all of the condolences and epitaphs from you guys.

[Tippaporn]

Hi all. I've just received a reply to my list of questions. I wrote three emails and received replies to all. I will not paste them here as I think this may well be a dead issue now. I asked if the sender had pictures and, if not, could take some. The sender was agreeable. If I receive photos and they check out then this is the end.

Also, I asked about the Thai policeman and whether he was jai dam. The response, "He is jai dam. Jing, jing." I asked if he would make trouble for me. Or my wife. She replied: "Both." This may be perilous for me. So here are my initial thoughts: I make a full report to the police and the German embassy upon my arrival. If I can obtain pictures then much better. This is all that I can think of.

I was thinking of closing this thread now, or very soon, since I think any further speculation may be moot. But it ocurred to me now that this may be the most important advice I could seek now. Protection.

Please help.

[migrant]

Hi all. I've just received a reply to my list of questions. I wrote three emails and received replies to all. I will not paste them here as I think this may well be a dead issue now. I asked if the sender had pictures and, if not, could take some. The sender was agreeable. If I receive photos and they check out then this is the end.

Also, I asked about the Thai policeman and whether he was jai dam. The response, "He is jai dam. Jing, jing." I asked if he would make trouble for me. Or my wife. She replied: "Both." This may be perilous for me. So here are my initial thoughts: I make a full report to the police and the German embassy upon my arrival. If I can obtain pictures then much better. This is all that I can think of.

I was thinking of closing this thread now, or very soon, since I think any further speculation may be moot. But it ocurred to me now that this may be the most important advice I could seek now. Protection.

Please help.

Tip,

If, god or Buddha, forbid, something does happen to you, the guilty should be caught.

The idea of leaving letters, and evidence is good.

Also you have received much caring advice from many, I think a lot of us have been in the same, or known friends in the same, predicament.

The end result you may wish to keep private, but at least let us know you ar OK

OK?

[keda]

Good, at least there's movement. You probably know already but I shall remind you anyway...do not base any action on the anticipation of a reasonable or rational reaction of any involved Thai.

keda

[mrbojangles]

Tipp, if this is the end and i sincerely hope not. Now is the time to get smart.

What do you stand to lose? I've tried to look but can't find. Is it a condo, house, land, both, or all?. Pick up etc.

If she has cheated, they both deserve nothing. Let us know how your finances are stitched up over there and someone may have a solution, without your health being in danger.

[Patex]

...I find it hard to believe that a tv member who has sincerely posted here for such a long time would try to make up something which is not real. Are you sure you are not doing an experiment on us or not trying to advertise some PI services here?...

With over 13 000 views this question is not interesting anymore, Chai mai?

[britmaveric]

How about full name and where he is stationed?? I think if this all happens to be true which I still don't quite believe then I think you can make problems for him.

[kat]

Make problems with what result?

I think the thing to do now is ascertain the truth, and move forward to protect himself and his assests. Those are the only defensive moves Tip should be taking right now, because making problems for problems sake get farang nowhere fast in LOS.

Edited August 24, 2006 by kat

[rcm]

Hi all. I've just received a reply to my list of questions. I wrote three emails and received replies to all. I will not paste them here as I think this may well be a dead issue now. I asked if the sender had pictures and, if not, could take some. The sender was agreeable. If I receive photos and they check out then this is the end.

Also, I asked about the Thai policeman and whether he was jai dam. The response, "He is jai dam. Jing, jing." I asked if he would make trouble for me. Or my wife. She replied: "Both." This may be perilous for me. So here are my initial thoughts: I make a full report to the police and the German embassy upon my arrival. If I can obtain pictures then much better. This is all that I can think of.

I was thinking of closing this thread now, or very soon, since I think any further speculation may be moot. But it ocurred to me now that this may be the most important advice I could seek now. Protection.

Please help.

Hi Tip,

I just sent you a PM .... if there is any truth about "him" being Police ,maybe i can help you.

rcm

[britmaveric]

Make problems with what result?

I think the thing to do now is ascertain the truth, and move forward to protect himself and his assests. Those are the only defensive moves Tip should be taking right now, because making problems for problems sake get farang nowhere fast in LOS.

Well result is to make everything public including to his superiors, in case the supposed officer might have ideas of making Tip disappear.

I still think its a windup though.

Edited August 24, 2006 by britmaveric

[Lacoste]

How about full name and where he is stationed?? I think if this all happens to be true which I still don't quite believe then I think you can make problems for him.

Sorry Brit, i dont mean to offend but i think that is the worst piece of advice i have read on this thread, I would imagine making problems for him would result in far bigger problems for Tipperporn.

[Lacoste]

I don't realy think the fact that his wife has not hit his bank account for extra cash holds much weight in respect to her being honest or not. Why would she want to spoil a good thing?

Be realistic about this.

Tippaporn is away in the states and sends her money so she does not have to work.

She and maybe her cop fella have a little love nest in the city at no expence.

The cop has a nice truck to use when he feels like it.

They are not likely to spoil all this by taking a lump of money out of the account and blowing the game, you think the cop is gonna support her once she is destitute? Yeh right he most likely has a wife already.

Maybe she is hoping for a house in her name in the country somewhere. Who knows but don't be fooled by the fact that she has not been asking or taking extra cash.

There are many 'slow burn' cons out there.

Sorry to be negative but someone has to point this out.

I wish you all the best Tip, Remember also your not on your own, this is happening to hudereds maybe thousands of people as i type this post.

CB

valid points

[britmaveric]

How about full name and where he is stationed?? I think if this all happens to be true which I still don't quite believe then I think you can make problems for him.

Sorry Brit, i dont mean to offend but i think that is the worst piece of advice i have read on this thread, I would imagine making problems for him would result in far bigger problems for Tipperporn.

Don't think so, not if the copper knows that anything happens to Tip then he'll be nicked.

[Lacoste]

How about full name and where he is stationed?? I think if this all happens to be true which I still don't quite believe then I think you can make problems for him.

Sorry Brit, i dont mean to offend but i think that is the worst piece of advice i have read on this thread, I would imagine making problems for him would result in far bigger problems for Tipperporn.

Don't think so, not if the copper knows that anything happens to Tip then he'll be nicked.

Who buy? His brothers, cousins and the rest of his goon squad?