Teach the Dummie To Drop ship and you will both be well off.. He will screw yuuu good someday, wake up or lie in this BED... I feel Sorry for you...Ho hum

We are all too desperate to chat! I do wonder how things turned out for OP.


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We are all waiting for the OP to reveal the mystery. 

On 2/12/2015 at 4:12 PM, Browncow3 said:

Thank you to everybody for the thoughtful feedback. I appreciate not being attacked. Excuse the lists but it's easier for me to collect my thoughts - I would like to add:

1. We are intellectually matched - has nothing to do with education - different lifestyles yes. And honestly - I envy his life style and care-free - the universe will take care of me type of attitude. I even admire it.

2. After 35 years of relationships - I believe every man (person) has his faults and you have to decide which you are prepared to deal with. For example he is not a ladies man, fooling around, out drinking all night etc. which I would find intolerable. His 'fault' is one of financial naivety. Something I don't find offensive just challenging.

3. I don't subscribe to the traditional idea that a man should support a woman - sometimes the roles are swapped. I am prepared to support my children with or without a man - yes it will be difficult, maybe awfully difficult, but not impossible.

4. He definitely does feel emasculated. He wouldn't let me buy him a birthday present saying I spend too much money on him.

I feel that with an open conversation about my expectations he will absolutely come to the party. I just need to decide what to ask for.

I'm really looking for ideas on how he can pull his weight in ways that aren't financial.

Sorry if this is getting boring...

Anyone else got something to say? Male perspectives are welcome too.

May I ask what are your ages?

On 10/1/2016 at 12:26 PM, Oldkhwaay said:

You need to set the expectation:

1. When you get up for work, he gets up to get ready for "work"

2. His work is to do Everything around the home. Cooking, cleaning, ironing, etc.

3. Prepare evening meal

4. Look for a job!  Manage this and check everyday what he has done to secure employment. 

 

If if he won't do this I think you know what the next step is. Good luck.

He should be doing this without your need to tell him or expect it. If he has motivation and a will to make things work he should already be doing these menial tasks around the house.  If he is not, expecting it or asking him to do it, can and will create resentments. That is normally the beginning of the end.