Dowry / sinsod - how do I legally bring the money to Thailand?

[inzman]

A fool lands here everyday. I await his divorce story. No true relationship begins with a large cash payment. That's called a business arrangement. Here the buyer is usually the looser.

[hdkane]

your idea of bringing a cashiers check is sound...although in my experience, i have never been stopped for taking cash, even in excess of 10,000, out of the country...they do look much more closely when you enter the usa, however...and i would be a bit wary of travelling with such a large sum of cash...so use a check, by all means...good luck in your future...

[kennypowers]

here's the deal Isaan keep the sinsod and real thai's (non Isaan )return it

What a load of crap. I was at a BKK wedding late last year and the sin sod was given to the family by the groom to rebuild their house. The year before my friend married a Thai-Chinese girl in BKK and her mum kept the sin sod.

Real Thais? How do you define a Thai? Pick up a history book and see where the first evidence of the "Tai" being found in the region now known as Thailand was found.

How long have you been in Thailand? Haven't learnt much, have you? Do you actually interact with Thai people outside of hooker bars?

People like you are responsible for spreading so much of the the ill-informed rubbish about Thailand that gets passed around by foreigners. Do Thailand a favour and don't write on forums. Better still, enrol in a Thai history and culture class to at least acquire a basic understanding of the country you visit/live in.

[expatoz]

l'm married to a real Thai and live in the real world and thats not Isaan.Real Thai girls are not bargirls its color yellow for me get it

[ttthailand]

Carry $10,000 in cash or travelers checks and bring credit and debit cards. You should be able to withdraw about $1,000 per day per card if you set your limits up to that amount. Three days and you are set.

I hope you have known this girl for at least a year and she has never been married or have kids. You don't want the locals to laugh at you.

[bobthomas]

"Suggestions?"

RUN!

Family rural farmers, newbie signed up today dropping 500k on woman, etc. I smell a troll.

However, at the slim chance you ain't and for the benefit of others... if you do go down that road, make sure you get most of it back, which IS the Thai way. Cashier's cheque wouldn't work as the whole point is to show off to everyone what their daughter is 'worth'. Also ask yourself, would a Thai man put up that kind of money for this lady.

Thanks for that. And I do worry. However, they did not ask for the money and neither my gf nor her family have ever asked for money. It came up at meeting with all of her village and they asked what I would pay. I made the offer, based on the fact I had paid $10k to my first wife's family 12 years ago. They built a new home and never asked for more. I think you are probably right about the check - although they could waive it around at everybody to see lol.

I keep reminding myself that $15k in the US will only get you a used pickup truck - maybe the same in Thailand. And she is worth so much more to me than a truck (well, depending on the model - just kidding,)

Anyway - my concern is about safety and not having trouble with the bank or immigration people.

A Village meeting for a Sin Sod negotiation? Let me now where this village is so I may avoid it in my future travels.

In all sincerity though- this is a negotiation between you and the future wife's family, usually done with some type of person that is a moderator. In this way all communication goes through the moderator so it is less likely the family will lose face during the negotiation.

Additionally you really don't want to pay an amount in relation to a previous Sin Sod! There is a very specific way to calculate the amount with some variability built in as to the ceremonial/ritual aspect.

When you start coming up with arbitrary numbers- you most often insure trouble down the road.

If you want to build the in laws a house somewhere down the road that's fine.

Sin Sods have become a national scam.

Almost every foreigner that comes to live in Thailand, (myself included) is to some greater or lessor degree responsible for how screwed up things have gotten in this country.

Do your homework. Get a book on Thai culture. 650 Baht might save you a lifetime of heartache.

b

[TheFishman1]

You think Language is the only problem??? LOL

[2fishin2]

Never have I nor never would I give money to another person's family to marry. Call me old fashioned but I believe in working for money. You people who do it are nuts. Blah blah this is Thailand blah blah. Grow a pair!

[thrilled]

Um the easiest is to open A bank account in Thailand.Have your fiancé go with you.It'll be easy.Then do the swift from your account in us to Your bank in Thailand.1/2 million sin sod.Did the family say they will also need about A million baht for the

Wedding.You don't want A cheap wedding do You?Sounds like you have deep pockets so 1+1/2 million baht shouldn't be A

Problem.I would say invite me and my thai fiance to your wedding but I won't be back in Thailand for another 21 months.

Good luck to you.

[Dario]

500'000 Baht as a dowry for rural farmers who have nothing?

That would only be the beginning of a nightmare. If they see that you are willing to pay half a million as dowry, they will squeeze you and get all your money. And you end up being broke. If you pay that money YOU WILL REGRET IT sooner than you think.

I have lived here for 28 years and know as good as most other members here that what you intend to do is simply crazy.

We can all guarantee you that you will be forever thankful to us to warn you.. So: DON'T DO IT! Heed this advice and you'll be safe. And still have your money.

[bobthomas]

You guys are amazing. It is not your money so what he does with his is no concern of yours. He asked how to bring it in not for the slagging off of old bitter cheap charlie keyboard warriors. If he is happy to pay then up to him. Has he asked you all if he can borrow the money???? Then keep your slagging off to yourselves and get back to your bar stools.

I disagree. Culture is not static- it is always changing and we are all responsible for changing Thai culture for the worse.

Responsibility should be everyone's concern.

but then that's the problem with Yanks and Europeans.......the way they exercise what they think is freedom.

Freedom to be stupid and screw things up is not freedom at all.

b

[peterb17]

Can't you do a few bank transfers- even my UK bank ( one of the most regulated countries- they are obsessed with money laundering and money for terrorists) will send £ 10,000 or 500,000 baht at a click of an online banking button.

Maybe more tricky from the USA.

This thread seems to have descended into a grow a pair discussion, as far as any of you cyber warriors know - the guy may be a multimillionaire and this money is really small potatoes. It's not much really.

[bobthomas]

What are you talking about? If you are a Thai man with money and you marry a girl here, you pay sinsod! It can be any amount that the man can afford to pay. If they don't have money then they don't pay. Just like in any Country! If you have some money you pay for a lavish wedding and if you don't you have the wedding at the local Fire Department Hall. They serve chicken wings and salad in giant troughs.

I personally know of several Thai men who paid 400K sinsod and built a house for the women. It is a custom here and only if you don't have money is it not done. Farangs like to say it does not happen with Thai men but they are wrong!!

Most farang men have some money and can pay something. I gave 100K Thai Bt to the mom and dad and paid for the wedding which cost about 200K. So all in all less than 10,000 dollars. If I married her in the U.S. I would have paid about 20K for the wedding alone. The trolls who don't want to pay some respect to the family are doomed to be slugs in the marriage and most likely will end in divorce. Cheap ba$tards I call them.

Find a wife in your own country and tell me what it would cost you to get married. If you had some money and wanted to have the reception in a Fire Hall I doubt very much if the bride would be very happy. Come on think about and what this costs you...its peanuts unless you are destitute people and why are you getting married if you don't have anything?????

What does a Thai marrying a Thai have to do with a Farang marrying a Thai?

First of all the Farang has none of the legal rights of a Thai citizen as far as land/business ownership, etc etc. etc.- but more importantly he will NEVER and I mean never receive the cultural latitude of a Thai man, nor will he receive the respect afforded a Thai male both within the marriage and in Thai society in general.

and if I have to hear one more person talking about the way things are in Farangland? Usually it's nonsensical, but in this case, western tradition has the wife's parents paying the bill for the wedding, and the groom paying paying perhaps the bar bill and his tuxedo!

You talk about "paying some respect to the family". In my opinion you would be respecting them and yourself much much more by doing a thorough analysis of the Sin Sod and then acting congruently with that.

Posting a few vague and incomplete examples as justification for providing a Sin Sod doesn't really help anyone.

b

[Ker]

i think the best way would to wire the money into your thai bank account. it only cost you $40.00 and you get the full exchange rate not the rate if you go to exchange money

good luck

[Gerard052]

So many holes in your post, I don't know where to start!

1. If you have some money, you pay for a lavish wedding - Oh really! Why does a wedding have to be lavish? Satisfy everyone else maybe? It certainly doesn't guarantee happiness. But you are a stupid idiot who would spend money on a big splash rather than putting it to better use , the more spent = happiness, 5555 It's a girly thing you fuuuwit!

2. 20k USD for a wedding in US of A, but that's a choice and bearing in mind Thailand is about (GDP figures) 80% cheaper than The US of A, your'e getting f----d by paying anything more than maybe 50k for a wedding. GET REAL.

I can't reply any more to your stupid, banal, naive post, so lastly.

Lastly, the best wedding I ever had was in the reception room of a hotel. I paid for meals, a few bottles of wine and the first two drinks. It was one of the best and enjoyable nights I, and all my guests have had. No-body was looking for 'freebies', just genuine happiness. Do you get it finally?

Well done, I agree with you 500%. Unless you are filthy rich, there are many more and smart ways to spend your hard earned money and if you don't like UDONJIM comments go take a freakin hike.

[ggt]

Don't!

[DepDavid]

You mentioned first Thai wife. What happened there regarding the marriage? Why do you believe this one is "worth" more?

[RigPig]

Ahhh these Sin Sot posts never fail to amuse

But seriously, to bring the money into Thailand, PM me and I will give you my PayPal details. I can get you a REALLY good deal on some gold for the wedding too !!

[RigPig]

You guys are amazing. It is not your money so what he does with his is no concern of yours. He asked how to bring it in not for the slagging off of old bitter cheap charlie keyboard warriors. If he is happy to pay then up to him. Has he asked you all if he can borrow the money???? Then keep your slagging off to yourselves and get back to your bar stools.

How much did you pay oh bitter one...

[landrews33]

OP responds:

Hi everyone and thank you for your thoughtful responses. I am currently in the US so the messages all came while I was sleeping. Many of the comments had questions and deserve a response. So I am happy to speak to that.

My GF is not a bar girl and doesn't drink. She works full time in a Big C mall. She is not from Issan (and is quick to mention that) but is from Arunyaputhet in Si SaKao. Her family gave us their blessings only after we met all of the grandparents and relatives and long before discussion of sin-sod. She and her family have never asked for money from me and have been uncomfortable when we bring them gifts when we come to visit. One time at her family's house my GF asked me for some money to go pick up some groceries. Her mother lectured her and told her she should go into town to the ATM and use her own money because I was their guest.

I exaggerated when I said it seemed the whole village was there. Several aunties and cousins arrived to negotiate since they spoke some English and another one came with an old Buddhist book she consulted to determine auspicious dates. The communication problem came from the fact that we had been talking about whether I could help them build a new home. I said yes up to about TB500,000. I have heard it costs about $1m up to build a house in the city and I hoped they could build a small home in the country for that. I intended that amount to include the house and the sin-sod. I assumed I would not have to pay a large sinsod because my fiancée has a 5 year old girl I would need to support (she never married before). I learned later that the father believed the 500k was for sinsod alone. The wedding will not be large and her family will pay all the costs.

I posted my question because I worried about carrying that much cash. At my first wedding I brought AmEx travel checks which was good since someone stole some of the money and we got it back. And I don't trust that Thai authorities would not impound the money saying they had to "investigate." Also, I didn't know if there would be a problem with the banks for large cash deposits. So all those responses were very helpful.

As to whether a sinsod should even be paid. I went through that the first time around. At that time I was appalled by the idea. However, after time went by, I realized that this was a very old tradition and I should learn to respect the Thai ways. I was married to an Isaan woman for 12 years and have many Thai friends. The marriage ended but not for any reasons other than of our own making.

I will return to BKK in a few days and we will talk this over. I may suggest we put off the wedding and only do an engagement party instead (and give some money to the folks). That might help everyone save face. I am happy living with my girlfriend in a house we rent in Minburi. Neither of us is pushing for a wedding, but the extended family is. And now that a large amount of money has entered the discussion, its making it uncomfortable. I have been following the forum for a few months but this is my first post. Lots of good stuff here. Since there was so much interest in this question, I'll post an update for those that want to know the outcome.

[Dannyboy666]

R u Krazy, go to Gold Shop borrow Gold, bring back next day, Simsot is Bullshot, 500,000 your Nuts...

[Straight8]

What are you talking about? If you are a Thai man with money and you marry a girl here, you pay sinsod! It can be any amount that the man can afford to pay. If they don't have money then they don't pay. Just like in any Country! If you have some money you pay for a lavish wedding and if you don't you have the wedding at the local Fire Department Hall. They serve chicken wings and salad in giant troughs.

I personally know of several Thai men who paid 400K sinsod and built a house for the women. It is a custom here and only if you don't have money is it not done. Farangs like to say it does not happen with Thai men but they are wrong!!

Most farang men have some money and can pay something. I gave 100K Thai Bt to the mom and dad and paid for the wedding which cost about 200K. So all in all less than 10,000 dollars. If I married her in the U.S. I would have paid about 20K for the wedding alone. The trolls who don't want to pay some respect to the family are doomed to be slugs in the marriage and most likely will end in divorce. Cheap ba$tards I call them.

Find a wife in your own country and tell me what it would cost you to get married. If you had some money and wanted to have the reception in a Fire Hall I doubt very much if the bride would be very happy. Come on think about and what this costs you...its peanuts unless you are destitute people and why are you getting married if you don't have anything?????

Your argument is flawed.

The very BIGGGGGGGG difference is that when a Thai marries a Thai, chances are it's usually the real deal.

When a Thai female marries a farang, in most cases it's all about the money and a means to an end. Endless supply of the farangs money or at least until the well runs dry.

These scenarios just keep playing out month after month, year after year, same old outcome, you can see it coming from a mile away.

[louse1953]

4 words of advice.Lamb,slaughter and fool,money.

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I have agreed to a dowry of TB 500,000

I hope you get a written guarantee for that kind of money alt=laugh.png>

Yes - I worry about it all. You know, if I am being scammed etc.

I paid US 10,000 for my first Thai wife's family. They used it to build mom a new house and feed her and never asked me for more. I brought some cash and the rest in AmEx Travel checks - good thing since one of the guests had sticky fingers.

This time my fiancée's family will pay all the wedding costs, and they seem like good hearted people. I just fret over how to do the money transaction.

THIS IS YOUR SECOND THAI WIFE ????????????? WHAT PART ARE YOU MISSING ?????? SOME FOOLS NEVER LEARN !!!!!!!!!! COURSE YOUR BEING SCAMED. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.

[louse1953]

"Suggestions?"

RUN!

Family rural farmers, newbie signed up today dropping 500k on woman, etc. I smell a troll.

However, at the slim chance you ain't and for the benefit of others... if you do go down that road, make sure you get most of it back, which IS the Thai way. Cashier's cheque wouldn't work as the whole point is to show off to everyone what their daughter is 'worth'. Also ask yourself, would a Thai man put up that kind of money for this lady.

I also got the wiff of troll,either that or green as grass.See how he plays.

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

4 words of advice.Lamb,slaughter and fool,money.

I SAID THE SAME JUST USED DIFFRENT WORDS, GREAT POST MATE

[louse1953]

you can bring it in cash if you have all the right paperwork,

What paperwork?Just stick it in yer sky rocket and bobs yer uncle.

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

What are you talking about? If you are a Thai man with money and you marry a girl here, you pay sinsod! It can be any amount that the man can afford to pay. If they don't have money then they don't pay. Just like in any Country! If you have some money you pay for a lavish wedding and if you don't you have the wedding at the local Fire Department Hall. They serve chicken wings and salad in giant troughs.

I personally know of several Thai men who paid 400K sinsod and built a house for the women. It is a custom here and only if you don't have money is it not done. Farangs like to say it does not happen with Thai men but they are wrong!!

Most farang men have some money and can pay something. I gave 100K Thai Bt to the mom and dad and paid for the wedding which cost about 200K. So all in all less than 10,000 dollars. If I married her in the U.S. I would have paid about 20K for the wedding alone. The trolls who don't want to pay some respect to the family are doomed to be slugs in the marriage and most likely will end in divorce. Cheap ba$tards I call them.

Find a wife in your own country and tell me what it would cost you to get married. If you had some money and wanted to have the reception in a Fire Hall I doubt very much if the bride would be very happy. Come on think about and what this costs you...its peanuts unless you are destitute people and why are you getting married if you don't have anything?????

Your argument is flawed.

The very BIGGGGGGGG difference is that when a Thai marries a Thai, chances are it's usually the real deal.

When a Thai female marries a farang, in most cases it's all about the money and a means to an end. Endless supply of the farangs money or at least until the well runs dry.

These scenarios just keep playing out month after month, year after year, same old outcome, you can see it coming from a mile away.

I DO SORT OF AGREE WITH YOU, BUT I DID GO TO A THAI WEDDING A FEW WEEKS BACK WITH MY G/F QUITE A HISO WEDDING THE THAI MAN PARTED WITH A MILLION BAHT ALL ON VIDIO FOR EVERYONE TO SEE ON BIG SCREEN AT THE RECEPTION, I DONT KNOW IF OR HOW MUCH HE GOT BACK.

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You guys are amazing. It is not your money so what he does with his is no concern of yours. He asked how to bring it in not for the slagging off of old bitter cheap charlie keyboard warriors. If he is happy to pay then up to him. Has he asked you all if he can borrow the money???? Then keep your slagging off to yourselves and get back to your bar stools.

How much did you pay oh bitter one... alt=whistling.gif>

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

OP responds:

Hi everyone and thank you for your thoughtful responses. I am currently in the US so the messages all came while I was sleeping. Many of the comments had questions and deserve a response. So I am happy to speak to that.

My GF is not a bar girl and doesn't drink. She works full time in a Big C mall. She is not from Issan (and is quick to mention that) but is from Arunyaputhet in Si SaKao. Her family gave us their blessings only after we met all of the grandparents and relatives and long before discussion of sin-sod. She and her family have never asked for money from me and have been uncomfortable when we bring them gifts when we come to visit. One time at her family's house my GF asked me for some money to go pick up some groceries. Her mother lectured her and told her she should go into town to the ATM and use her own money because I was their guest.

I exaggerated when I said it seemed the whole village was there. Several aunties and cousins arrived to negotiate since they spoke some English and another one came with an old Buddhist book she consulted to determine auspicious dates. The communication problem came from the fact that we had been talking about whether I could help them build a new home. I said yes up to about TB500,000. I have heard it costs about $1m up to build a house in the city and I hoped they could build a small home in the country for that. I intended that amount to include the house and the sin-sod. I assumed I would not have to pay a large sinsod because my fiancée has a 5 year old girl I would need to support (she never married before). I learned later that the father believed the 500k was for sinsod alone. The wedding will not be large and her family will pay all the costs.

I posted my question because I worried about carrying that much cash. At my first wedding I brought AmEx travel checks which was good since someone stole some of the money and we got it back. And I don't trust that Thai authorities would not impound the money saying they had to "investigate." Also, I didn't know if there would be a problem with the banks for large cash deposits. So all those responses were very helpful.

As to whether a sinsod should even be paid. I went through that the first time around. At that time I was appalled by the idea. However, after time went by, I realized that this was a very old tradition and I should learn to respect the Thai ways. I was married to an Isaan woman for 12 years and have many Thai friends. The marriage ended but not for any reasons other than of our own making.

I will return to BKK in a few days and we will talk this over. I may suggest we put off the wedding and only do an engagement party instead (and give some money to the folks). That might help everyone save face. I am happy living with my girlfriend in a house we rent in Minburi. Neither of us is pushing for a wedding, but the extended family is. And now that a large amount of money has entered the discussion, its making it uncomfortable. I have been following the forum for a few months but this is my first post. Lots of good stuff here. Since there was so much interest in this question, I'll post an update for those that want to know the outcome.

LOVE IS BLIND