evadgib Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) I once got rid of an unwanted visitor by buying a discounted one way flight ticket to bkk once i realised that he had never flown before. By the time the rouse was rumbled he was 500 miles/12hrs from the dhss office (ie my house & wallet). It was the best THB 2K I ever spent and has never been remotely repeated. Btw: I'm calling troll on the OP but it's quite a good one Edited February 26, 2015 by evadgib Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKResort Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 WOW! Really is a soup opera, and interesting reading it on my first minute on TV. I am new here. I share it with my wife and she feels bad that your wife is having problem with her parents because an "intruder". She said that the best thing is to creates a bad situation to this lady to lose the respect of your wife's parents, and her boy friend. How about to find a new BF for her? Just a volunteer that will go to the house asking for her, opening doubts about her new friends in town....My wife think that your wife's her brother may be a problem if he still in "relationship" with her. His parents will not accept her if they think that she is cheating their son....or she is having problems with him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpinx Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Sounds like a mess of the brother's making. If he really wants out he only has to get a new girlfriend in Bangkok and make no secret of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB24 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Kingstonkid is right - if you do want to help solve this - but there is something you need to do before that (or any other suggestion). Talk to your GF and ask her if she wants you to help. If she doesn't, then watch TV and stay out of it - STAY OUT OF IT !!! If she does want your help, suggest what Kingstonkid says and others you like, and see what/if she agrees to do. Take your time and discuss it several times over several days - add/delete things to do - ONLY do what you both agree to do. Do not do ANYTHING without your GF agreeing to it - your relationship is at risk if you fark this up doing it by yourself. THEN - once you have agreed - get the GF to talk to the Brother together with you, and get him to agree to do what your GF wants done. The Brother MUST accept that he caused this family problem, and that he MUST help your GF solve it - and understand that you are both willing to help. BUT - he must agree that it is time for him to 'man up' and get this solved, or he will face the consequences (NO FAMILY). He needs to be told, that if it comes to your GF's Parents or her Brother - the Parents will be your GF's choice - he needs to know and accept that. If he will not, then your GF needs to accept this and she must then decide if she wants to go it alone (with you). There IS one thing I would add to Kingstonkid's list for discussion with your GF (and then the Brother). If what should happen happens (Parents throw her out) and she turns up at your place, do not answer the door - if she refuses to go away, call the police. The same applies to your GF's Brother - he must not 'play' anymore with this woman - if he lets her in then he will become 'off limits' to his Parents and Sister. Someone is going to get hurt - this aint something you can solve by walking away from it. The choice is get involved all the way come what may - or stay out of it (come what may). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB24 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 And then there is the 'serious' solution that someone else hinted at - but personally I wouldn't do that (just yet) - and not without the GF's agreement. Remember - never hire anyone else to take out your garbage - there are some things no one else should ever know about - no one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slightlychilled Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Hmmm... what if the parents actually like this woman ? are they not allowed to make their own social choices in life ? I appreciate this woman is alot older than the brother but that's not a crime. I still fail to see exactly what she has done to arouse such hatred in your gf. It all seems a bit OTT. This sort of irrational hatred is often borne out of jealousy - could your gf be feeling a bit insecure that her parents have a new best friend ? Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRH1959 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Any woman that has children, looks at them as being the ones to 'look after' them later iln life. Not knowing (or wanting to know) her previous relationship break-up problems, whatever the reason is 'her' problem and not your gf family concern. If a baby came into the picture, maybe we would think differently. The brother needs to be honest and tell her 'it's not working out and he wants her to go'. Given time the family will set her on her way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FritsSikkink Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 It isn't your problem or your girlfriends. Just leave them to it and stay in your own house. When visiting the parents just ignore her. Well, rightly or wrongly, my gf has made it her problem. She hates the idea that this woman is taking advantage of her parents and basically stalking her brother. And she's pissed that the woman accepted the money to go away only to return a couple of days later. And because the parents defended the woman rather than protecting their son's interests, she's had a big falling out with them. For an Isaan woman to break from her parents is a big deal -- they're almost hard-wired to want to take care of their parents. So the gf has been in a foul mood for two days now.... and that's how it becomes my problem. If you both want to make it your problem then up to you and live with the consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigwhitewarrior Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) It isn't your problem or your girlfriends. Just leave them to it and stay in your own house. When visiting the parents just ignore her. Well, rightly or wrongly, my gf has made it her problem. She hates the idea that this woman is taking advantage of her parents and basically stalking her brother. And she's pissed that the woman accepted the money to go away only to return a couple of days later. And because the parents defended the woman rather than protecting their son's interests, she's had a big falling out with them. For an Isaan woman to break from her parents is a big deal -- they're almost hard-wired to want to take care of their parents. So the gf has been in a foul mood for two days now.... and that's how it becomes my problem. Mate I feel for you of course.it becomes your problem .. the first thing to do is get the 5000 baht back from the woman who took it to leave for bangkok. So either you or your lady must do this. If this where my parents then the visitor would not be staying I can assure you. Of course as a Farang you got to be carefull here. But just sitting by and doing nothing ain't good either. If she refuses to pay the money back and continues to take advantage and you or the GF don't want to do something then go to suggestion 2 as has already been mentioned. Let someone else take your garbage out that's what cleaners are there for ! Edited February 26, 2015 by bigwhitewarrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Don't you just love the OP's... "I'll try to keep this short".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phrodan Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 To me the real issue here is the OP's girlfriend. I think he's worried that she may crack up and do something stupid. Having see Thai women crack up before it wouldn't amaze me. The OP has added the possible "undermining in the village through gossip," angle - and that is one thing that Thai women cannot stand. She may hear one out of place comment and that will be it - carnage. I was wondering what the feckless brother was up to in all this, it seems that he is intimidated by her. I still say rip this cuckoo from the nest, and get the boys to do it. And do it before the OP's gf does something stupid. She'll be hurting deeply just now - one spark and this could be very serious. " Having see Thai women crack up before it wouldn't amaze me. The OP has added the possible "undermining in the village through gossip," angle - and that is one thing that Thai women cannot stand. She may hear one out of place comment and that will be it - carnage. " Maybe you could visit the Thai family and share your expertise on Thai individual behavior and Thai village dynamics to them. The OP has already confirmed that I'm right. Which must be really annoying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozyjon Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Tell me what village you are at so i can avoid it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomloughney Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 I had problems with my Thai wife, ex now. She was out of control. I talked, reasoned and supported. I waited and watched. Her mom was furious with me....she told me not to let her behave like that.....hurt her she said and she will stop. Not after i lived thru "womens equality for 30 years" I won't.... you have to she said.... not in my playbook. So we divorced, she got a bunch of cash and stuff, 3 months later came back crying her Thai BF stole her PIN number and then when she had no more money beat her up and left. I sent her to the USA, she got a Marine guy close to her age.....they had lots of problems..... Then quiet.....asked the cousin so how is she doing.....happy now no more fights.... REally......cousin says....he beat the shit out of her and now she stopped acting up..... Mom was right, had I listened to mom I could have still been with the little cheating screaming bitch..... I love it when a plan comes together..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emster23 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Rent a Ghost That is not such a bad idea, come to think of it. Get some shaman to come over and do some mumbo jumbo chicken blood stuff. Some incantation that if she doesn't leave all sorts of bad things will befall her....many actually believe this magic 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marko kok prong Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 What a load of nonsense post's,from the usual suspect's,"get the cleaners in" etc,this is not a Tarantino film,the only thing that has surprised me that are various retired special forces members,and ex mafia hit men have not weighed in with a quote,to do the deed, op i said before it is a family matter,stay out of it,you are only here to provide the money,not make judgements on the family ,ye gods i am sounding like YS,what has happened to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggt Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 This is just normal Thai behavior commonly known as "Thainess"... The only difference is it is usually a foreigner being taken advantage of... Tell the young man to grow some balls and take care of this problem himself... You and your wife need to butt out...your interference is not wanted or appreciated... You can not dictate another persons behavior based upon your own... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 It is highly unusual that the "good" family will take the side of this outsider lady over their daughter - and not recognize that this older lady is not a positive for their son… It may just take time to work itself out. I have watched things develop here with our big family and though they keep me informed, they do not involve me. Yes, you have every right to be concerned for your wife, especially if there is a chance of violence… but other than consulting with your wife - it is best to stay one step removed… my guess is that the family will come around…. good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 OP - suggest that your gf go to her temple with her mum and dad and ask the monks for advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Tell your gf that not another baht will go to her parents and you will leave her if the woman stays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 Make sure the folks secure their valuables and have a valid will filed....Black Widow material....maybe engage a private eye and confront her with her past then expell her..... Well, if I understand correctly (and I may be wrong on this) I think she was working for the government or printing company in Bangkok which produces the Thai passports and had to 'run from the job' because she'd been doing something illegal and feared that she was about to be caught. Anyway, it had something to do with passports and illegality, but it's all quite vague ... whatever she told the brother who told my gf who told me. Lots of opportunity for distortion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 I once got rid of an unwanted visitor by buying a discounted one way flight ticket to bkk once i realised that he had never flown before. By the time the rouse was rumbled he was 500 miles/12hrs from the dhss office (ie my house & wallet). It was the best THB 2K I ever spent and has never been remotely repeated. Btw: I'm calling troll on the OP but it's quite a good one Have never understood the 'troll' thing ... why someone would make up a story. I'm employed and have better things to do with my time. Am just out of ideas on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 WOW! Really is a soup opera, and interesting reading it on my first minute on TV. I am new here. I share it with my wife and she feels bad that your wife is having problem with her parents because an "intruder". She said that the best thing is to creates a bad situation to this lady to lose the respect of your wife's parents, and her boy friend. How about to find a new BF for her? Just a volunteer that will go to the house asking for her, opening doubts about her new friends in town....My wife think that your wife's her brother may be a problem if he still in "relationship" with her. His parents will not accept her if they think that she is cheating their son....or she is having problems with him... Interesting idea. I don't know if the parents still think their son is in a relationship with her. I think he had made it clear he's not. My gf certainly did. But I have no idea how they see it (and my Thai is not good enough to have that level of conversation - they have zero English). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 There is only one solution. Brother goes out of town and only tells you where he is. Gf tells parents that she will not be visiting but that they (mom and dad ONLY) are welcome to visit you. No support or contact at all other than that. Eventually they will start to see what is happening. Also when Brother comes back to visit he stays with you and does not go home. Tell him to bring pictures of NEW GF as long as there is nothing that she can recognize in the picture. I think that's the game-plan at the moment. He did leave town a couple of weeks ago to stay with friends in Ubon... lasted only a few days. The other sister works in a department store there, and the woman showed up there and apparently hung around for several hours hoping the brother would show up. That's how tenacious she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 OP - suggest that your gf go to her temple with her mum and dad and ask the monks for advice. Not a bad idea. The parents are very religious. Have a whole in the house dedicated to Kwan Im and dad spends a good part of his time at the temple (while mom sells corn and peanuts at the market). The problem is that they don't yet appreciate that this is a problem. They think they are doing 'the right thing' by this woman (because of the story she can spin) despite the impact it's having on their own kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poweratradio Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 whatever happens if you get involved then its ALL your fault , This topic is a only the start....of the big scheme of things Thai.... If I have ever read a troll post or a made up story in TV this is it and I can't believe those who are replying to it with advice. I bet there is a money wager on this post to see how many pages of fools it will get responding to it. I count this quote as One. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 So...she's hiding from prosecution....are they harboring a fugitive? She could nun it for awhile.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godden Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Maybe there is a falang on this forum looking for a new girlfriend and would take her on, problem solved. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sealbash Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 To me the real issue here is the OP's girlfriend. I think he's worried that she may crack up and do something stupid. Having see Thai women crack up before it wouldn't amaze me. The OP has added the possible "undermining in the village through gossip," angle - and that is one thing that Thai women cannot stand. She may hear one out of place comment and that will be it - carnage. I was wondering what the feckless brother was up to in all this, it seems that he is intimidated by her. I still say rip this cuckoo from the nest, and get the boys to do it. And do it before the OP's gf does something stupid. She'll be hurting deeply just now - one spark and this could be very serious. She has said that if she sees this woman she will 'kill her', and when I challenge her on that, she says "not not kill, but I will beat her so she wants to leave". And I know she's not bluffing. She is fuming about what this woman has done, and the last time she went to the house, the woman cowered in her room while my gf argued with her parents. Your girlfriend is unstable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 whatever happens if you get involved then its ALL your fault , This topic is a only the start....of the big scheme of things Thai.... If I have ever read a troll post or a made up story in TV this is it and I can't believe those who are replying to it with advice. I bet there is a money wager on this post to see how many pages of fools it will get responding to it. I count this quote as One. Your troll radar is broken. Look at my record of posts if you wish - I have started just four threads in the time I've been here: One about a friend's mother who needed dialysis, one about whether my gf might be able to bring her friend's daughter to Singapore for a visit, one about Thais traveling to Manila, and now this one. Not much a trolling record is it? Now help me understand how your brain works. I'm genuinely curious. How do you decide to call someone a troll? What proof do you need to believe that this is a real situation? I'm full-time employed in Singapore, and if you know anything about Singapore, you will know that it's not a place where you can waste time without a cost. I'm not tapping this out from some bar stool in Patpong. My gf is quite upset over this whole thing, and it's having an impact on me and on us. I simply want to have some ideas to help her. So yeah, I'm a little offended by your suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docno Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 To me the real issue here is the OP's girlfriend. I think he's worried that she may crack up and do something stupid. Having see Thai women crack up before it wouldn't amaze me. The OP has added the possible "undermining in the village through gossip," angle - and that is one thing that Thai women cannot stand. She may hear one out of place comment and that will be it - carnage. I was wondering what the feckless brother was up to in all this, it seems that he is intimidated by her. I still say rip this cuckoo from the nest, and get the boys to do it. And do it before the OP's gf does something stupid. She'll be hurting deeply just now - one spark and this could be very serious. She has said that if she sees this woman she will 'kill her', and when I challenge her on that, she says "not not kill, but I will beat her so she wants to leave". And I know she's not bluffing. She is fuming about what this woman has done, and the last time she went to the house, the woman cowered in her room while my gf argued with her parents. Your girlfriend is unstable. Wouldn't say unstable, but definitely has a temper on her (though she's mellowed in the past couple of years). This situation is worse, of course, because while she's angry at her parents, she is also feeling very protective of them. When she said 'kill', she didn't mean it literally (I think!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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