North-eastern Thais Praise Foreign Husbands

[Mr Jones]

I want you.

I need you.

Aint no way I'm ever gonna Love.

Don't be sad

Two out of three aint Bad

[Thaible]

'love' is some quaint notion that Thais become peripherally aware of by watching TV or movies or reading books. Oh forgot, Thais only read books if they have to.

thank you for you kind comment

[yankeechief]

but are they in love?

Yeah as long as the money lasts!

[yankeechief]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

Exactly Thaddeus....... My wife is tighter than a duck's ar*e....with OUR money....

Note the "WE" and "OUR" Backpacker...Thai women are the same...Love first..then Stability...then a decent lifestyle..

So different from a western woman.... or a western man... I think not

Good post George...this is not a 100% reflection of Northeast life..how could it be?....there are problems....but its a fair 50% reflection of most relationships IMHO

Ya it's all about money$$$ and that's never the case with german or canadain etc women.............it's same same world over

Agreed its not just here it is..... the nature of the female beast. Her it is just more obvieous

[Schooner]

Another opportunity for Thai bashing by the sour grapes croud who couldn't manage there relationships where they came from and obviously haven't learned anything since they came here.

These are the "blame somebody else" folks who refuse to take any personal responsability for there own role in their failures.

"stupid is as stupid does"

[Looper]

"...most had met their husbands through serendipity"

'Serendipity' is that the one in Cowboy next to Suzy Wong's?

[onlooker]

Obviously a slow news day at The Nation as this article is a rehash of the one below from 2 years ago

MIA FARANG CLUB: 'It's not just about the money'

Published on Jun 15, 2004 The Nation

It's not just the lure of financial security but the "bad habits" of Thai men, say those Thai women who have chosen Western men over their male compatriots for husbands.

And this seems to be backed up by a recent survey. According to the National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB), the bad habits of Thai men are one of three main reasons why large numbers of women from the country's Northeast have married Western men, leading to the "mia farang" phenomenon in the region.

The other two reasons are: poverty and family debts - especially after divorcing a Thai husband who leaves them to take care of the children - and women who want to emulate the success of neighbours who have married a foreigner.

"Thai men have a tendency to ignore their responsibilities to their family. They easily become 'jao choo' [adulterous] as well as alcoholic if they have money," said Suphee Traiphoo, 42, from Udon Thani. Suphee married German Peter Volk, 59, 18 years ago.

"I'm not saying all Thai men are like this but many of them are. Let's just say that without an order from God, I would not marry a Thai man," she added.

"They [Western men] are romantic and good at taking care of their wives, especially financially. And they share the housework, unlike the majority of Thai men," said Suphee's neighbour Noolam Jaithiang, 45. Noolam is married to 60-year-old Austrian lawyer Kowarch Andreas.

Both Noolam and Suphee divorced their Thai husbands before remarrying with Westerners.

"I had four kids with a Thai husband before marrying my first Austrian husband with whom I have a 12-year-old daughter. We are no longer together but I am now living with another Austrian man. We are not yet married as my first Austrian husband wants to secure my financial situation if he dies. My current Austrian boyfriend has no problems with the situation," Noolam said.

"We share similarities in that we both have grown-up children and need someone to be with and help each other. He came at the right time to my life," said Noolam.

After divorcing her Thai husband, Suphee went to work as a cleaner in Bangkok in order to earn money to raise her nine-month-old child. It was in Bangkok that she met her German husband through a friend who also had a German husband.

"After a long period of contact, I told him I had 11 family members to take care of and took him to my home. He said okay and told me he was not a rich man, just an ordinary working man," Suphee said.

The pair married and she went to work as a cleaner in German for 15 years until she got her pension three years ago. She then went back to live in her hometown in Udon Thani's Ban Non Ngarm with her husband Peter, who is also retired.

"It was not love at first but his good side did make me see him differently later. He cares about my family and always asked whether I sent money to my family on salary day. He helps me with the housework and loves my Thai son," said Suphee.

Eighty per cent of the 15,284 mia farang interviewed in the survey were married to Thai men before marrying their foreign husbands, the board's regional office director, Decha Vanichvarod, said.

"We found that the mia farang group is not the beautiful group who are attracted to work in the sex industry. They are just typical Isaan [Northeast] women with very little education. But they are healthy, patient and good at looking after the household. These qualities seem to attract Western, mostly elderly, men" said Decha.

"She is sincere, straightforward and diligent. I love her even though she grumbles too much sometimes and orders me around to do this and that," said Suphee's husband Peter.

"I trust my sense when seeing her eyes. She is courageous and self-confident, unlike my former wife," said Andreas about his wife Noolam.

Grandma Lamai (not her real name) from Roi Et's Ban Jaan said she was impressed with the way her Swiss son-in-law of eight years treats her daughter and grandchildren.

It is far from normal Thai men's standards, she said.

"When my daughter married him, he learned the ways of Buddhism in order to understand us even though it was not his religion. I could feel his sense of care and respect," Lamai said while showing photographs of her two grandchildren. Lamai has visited her grandchildren in Switzerland twice.

Prasit Boonchoob, the headman of Ban Jaan, where 80 out of the 587 families in the community feature a Western husband, said even though he was conservative he agreed that Western men took good care of their wives.

"If I was still single now, I don't think I could get a wife from this village," he said.

"Even though it is not a new thing I am a bit surprised to know that most women we interviewed mentioned the same things about Thai men's behaviour today as they had in the past. They hate Thai men's bad habits, especially the drinking, gambling and womanising, which they describe as being irresponsible to the family," said Decha.

Kamol Sukin, Sumalee Phopayak

The Nation

UDON THANI, ROI ET

------------

The Mia Farang of Isaan

"They are mostly typical Isaan women, rather dark skin, quite strong and healthy and not the type to attract typical Thai men," said researcher Decha Vanichvarod when asked to characterise mia farang, the Thai wives of foreign men.

Decha is director of the National Economic and Social Development Board's Northeastern Region.

"They are not 'beautiful' according to Thai men, or among the good-looking women who normally head for jobs in the sex industry in Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya," he states in a soon-to-be published report.

Decha's study surveyed 15,284 mia farang in 19 provinces of the Northeast, ranging in age from 20 to 52 years of age, and averaging 32. Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Nong Khai were the top three home provinces in terms of numbers.

Most of the women - 69 per cent - had an education no higher than Grade 6, 24 per cent made it to Grade 9 and the remaining 7 per cent graduated from higher levels.

Eighty per cent of them had been married before. Many have children with Thai husbands, the study found.

More than 50 per cent were from farming households and found they could not survive economically after breaking up with their husbands.

Many seek jobs in the service sector, such as hotel maids, waitresses or masseurs, which they feel give them a better chance of meeting foreigners.

Many meet Western partners through neighbours or relatives who have married farang. The study says 63 per cent met their husbands independently in Bangkok, Pattaya or another big city, 35 per cent through a relative and 2 per cent on the Internet.

Before meeting their farang partners, 33 per cent of the women had worked in Bangkok for less than Bt5,000 a month; 17 per cent worked in Pattaya for a similar income; 13 per cent worked in other tourist cities for salaries around Bt7,000; 26 per cent were farmers with a Bt1,000-per-month income; and 11 per cent had already worked abroad, many in factories, for salaries in the Bt30,000 range.

Since marrying, 72 per cent have become housewives and receive money from their husbands upon request. The women send an average of Bt8,000 a month back to their families.

The top three home countries of the husbands are Germany, Switzerland and England (20, 14 and 12 per cent, respectively). Other husbands of the women surveyed were from Australia, the United States, New Zealand, Canada, Sweden, France, Holland, Denmark, Belgium, Scotland, Italy, Norway, Greece and Israel, and Asian nations including Japan, Malaysia and Singapore, with small numbers from Laos, Hong Kong, South Korea, Kuwait and China.

Businessmen comprised the largest group of foreign husbands (22 per cent), with smaller numbers working as state officials, technicians, engineers, retirees, teachers and doctors.

Peter Volk appears to be the poster boy for farang-Isaan marriages

[Q_Q_Dude]

It sounds a lot related to the financial security that the foreign husband can offer.

Though I guess if both spouses are happy being married, they might as well stay that way.

[digiquix]

Greetings,

Seems like foreigners are as good as the type of bacon they bring home :-) "Are they in love" someone asked in this forum :-) (I chuckled a little, but I mean well) :-)

Me: I'm a foreigner myself. No Thai wife, but I can appreciate thai women. They, I have to say can be great wives or girlfriends (as long you find the right ones to suit your needs. long term/short term, multi-way) - That's probably up to whatever your taste is. I shan't go into the details. :-)

- Respectability in the village and elevation of *STATUS* :

That's probably why I still have a little reservation about marriage with anyone. I hate to contribute into that type of mindset. I'm old fashion, yet a communist in thinking and a modern day technologist. (I think that's quite a bad combo. I'm confused)

My wishes to all you good foreign husbands out there :-) (Prost!! Ja vohl..)

ขอบคุณนะครับ สวัสดีครับ

[terry57]

"...most had met their husbands through serendipity"

'Serendipity' is that the one in Cowboy next to Suzy Wong's?

urr, your a brave man my friend and thats all my top self will say on this one.

[chatters]

but are they in love?

but they have plenty of MONEY MONEY

[jdinasia]

This thread sure has brought out a BUNCH of very new posters ....

[Pink Mist]

but have you heard it before JD?

[jdinasia]

but have you heard it before JD?

ooooh yeah ... remember MuuBaanSwitzerland story last year?

[Pink Mist]

re-cycled, it comes around with regular monotony, onl the av's and nicks change

[fruittbatt]

So Isaan women marry farang men mainly for financial security, and many farang men are bitter, puzzled and resentful that they are not loved for their wit, charm, intelligence, and downright superb bodies, not to mention their generous and kind natures, emotional maturity and generally sensitive empathy, respect for and understanding of women........oh life is soooooooooooooooo cruel.

Edited August 27, 2006 by fruittbatt

[slim]

but are they in love?

but they have plenty of MONEY MONEY

Yeah - lets bring out all the time honoured "Thai marries falang only for his money" prejudices and jealousies.

I'd love to know about how perfectly happily married all these negative posters who live outside Thailand are, that's if they have a wife or even a girlfriend (apart from their right hand).

.....the Office for National Statistics said that the number of couples getting divorced in England and Wales is higher than at any time since Labour came to power in 1997. It said there were 153,490 divorces last year, an increase of 3.9% since 2002. This was the third successive year of rising divorce rates, since falling back from 157,107 in 1996. The record was 165,018 in 1993

I dont have the stats but I'll have a bet that the average Thai/falang marriage lasts longer than the average falang/falang marriage.

With her husband's pension of about Bt20,000 a month to support the family, she said they lived happily and comfortably enough.

This bit worries me though. I spend this much in my local Big C supermarket a week.

Bt20,000 falls well short of the minimum marriage visa requirement (unless he's got Bt800,000 stuffed in a Thai bank).

[Thaddeus]

So Isaan women marry farang men mainly for financial security,

I've never known any couple in the world who have got married where financial security wasn't very high on the agenda.

[Thaddeus]

This bit worries me though. I spend this much in my local Big C supermarket a week.

Bt20,000 falls well short of the minimum marriage visa requirement (unless he's got Bt800,000 stuffed in a Thai bank).

The old saying "you cut your cloth to suit your needs"

If all you have is 20,000 Baht a month it is quite easy to live in the sticks in Isaan on that amount.

[thaigene2]

Obviously a slow news day at The Nation as this article is a rehash of the one below from 2 years ago

MIA FARANG CLUB: 'It's not just about the money'

Published on Jun 15, 2004 The Nation

It's not just the lure of financial security but the "bad habits" of Thai men, say those Thai women who have chosen Western men over their male compatriots for husbands.

And this seems to be backed up by a recent survey. According to the National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB), the bad habits of Thai men are one of three main reasons why large numbers of women from the country's Northeast have married Western men, leading to the "mia farang" phenomenon in the region.

The other two reasons are: poverty and family debts - especially after divorcing a Thai husband who leaves them to take care of the children - and women who want to emulate the success of neighbours who have married a foreigner.

"Thai men have a tendency to ignore their responsibilities to their family. They easily become 'jao choo' [adulterous] as well as alcoholic if they have money," said Suphee Traiphoo, 42, from Udon Thani. Suphee married German Peter Volk, 59, 18 years ago.

[EDIT]

Peter Volk appears to be the poster boy for farang-Isaan marriages

Yes I thought it (and the person quoted) seemed familiar.

But so what, I agree with most of the others - it's a bit of good news at a time when foreigners living in Thailand are being flamed in other parts of the media. Example - while the Nation runs this story, today's Post has a feature page on foreign paedophiles in Thailand (Perspective section).

We could use some positive image-building for a change! I've been married 5+ years with 2 kids. My wife's family (Khon Kaen) seems to like me, they don't overstay their welcome and I've never given loans. But I've helped out when there's been a crisis (death in the family) and contribute monthly - not much (to me). They may not be as hot looking as the Bangkok university girls, (though some are) but by far Issan women are the most interesting in Thailand. They're no shrinking violets that's for sure. Mia Issans rock!

[fruittbatt]

So Isaan women marry farang men mainly for financial security,

I've never known any couple in the world who have got married where financial security wasn't very high on the agenda.

precisely: the point i was making is that many farangs posting on this forum seem to feel aggrieved by the fact that money is one important motivating factor in Thai women's decisions to marry farang men. i was suggesting that many of the posters to this forum appear to have little else to offer their brides apart from money...no respect, no understanding, no wit or charm or intelligence. NOT a reflection on those men who do have plenty to offer. There are also plenty of happy, compatible Thai-farang marriages based on mutual respect.

Edited August 27, 2006 by fruittbatt

[perijon]

All in all life is what YOU make it! The choices we make, NOT the chances we take, determines our destiny. Maybe thats why we love Thailand.

[Thaddeus]

So Isaan women marry farang men mainly for financial security,

I've never known any couple in the world who have got married where financial security wasn't very high on the agenda.

precisely: the point i was making is that many farangs posting on this forum seem to feel aggrieved by the fact that money is one important motivating factor in Thai women's decisions to marry farang men. i was suggesting that many of the posters to this forum appear to have little else to offer their brides apart from money...no respect, no understanding, no wit or charm or intelligence. NOT a reflection on those men who do have plenty to offer. There are also plenty of happy, compatible Thai-farang marriages based on mutual respect.

Here here...... I couldn't agree more

[WaiWai]

This bit worries me though. I spend this much in my local Big C supermarket a week.

I've never known any couple in the world who have got married where financial security wasn't very high on the agenda.

not even one ?

Edited August 27, 2006 by WaiWai

[perijon]

It's the choices we make, NOT the chances we take, that determines our destiny!

[billd766]

I am going to have a small rant as I get p1ssed of with so much negativity against Thais both from people living in and out of Thailand.

but are they in love?

I know for a fact that I am in love with my Thai wife.

Always comes down to $ ?

And how to you support the woman of your choice?

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

Try not having any money back where you come from and see how long the relationship will last.

Is that a survey - I could find more people to talk to on the way to the nearest 7-11!

But could you find that many Thais married to farangs? Where I live I don't see that many in 2 weeks.

Give it a minute.

There are many posters here that will find something cynical (and ignorant) to say.

I don't know if this is cynical or ignorant, but they did only survey 12 people.

But they were 12 people who were married to Thais and in the same place.

little money = little respect

big money = big respect

gargantuan money = prime ministership

I take it that you have little money.

'love' is some quaint notion that Thais become peripherally aware of by watching TV or movies or reading books. Oh forgot, Thais only read books if they have to.

not worth answering really

Yeah as long as the money lasts!

Try not having any money back where you come from and see how long the relationship will last.

Another opportunity for Thai bashing by the sour grapes crowd who couldn't manage their relationships where they came from and obviously haven't learned anything since they came here.

These are the "blame somebody else" folks who refuse to take any personal responsability for there own role in their failures.

I totally agree with that sentiment.

"stupid is as stupid does"

And that one.

But so what, I agree with most of the others - it's a bit of good news at a time when foreigners living in Thailand are being flamed in other parts of the media. Example - while the Nation runs this story, today's Post has a feature page on foreign paedophiles in Thailand (Perspective section).

We could use some positive image-building for a change! I've been married 5+ years with 2 kids. My wife's family (Khon Kaen) seems to like me, they don't overstay their welcome and I've never given loans. But I've helped out when there's been a crisis (death in the family) and contribute monthly - not much (to me). They may not be as hot looking as the Bangkok university girls, (though some are) but by far Issan women are the most interesting in Thailand. They're no shrinking violets that's for sure. Mia Issans rock!

I have know my wife 13 years and been married for 6 years and we have a 2 year old son. My wifes family come from Samut Phrakan and they are welcome at any time. We have a small house that they can use when they finally get fed up in Bangkok.

Her parents have been looking after her eldest brothers 3 children for years and I suspect are fed up with it by now. We help out now and again and my wife has helped both her eldest brother and the middle brother on more than 1 occaision because they are family. Was it her money? No it was OUR money that she has access to at anytime she wants but she has always talked about it before she does anything.

So Isaan women marry farang men mainly for financial security,

I've never known any couple in the world who have got married where financial security wasn't very high on the agenda.

100% true.

precisely: the point i was making is that many farangs posting on this forum seem to feel aggrieved by the fact that money is one important motivating factor in Thai women's decisions to marry farang men. i was suggesting that many of the posters to this forum appear to have little else to offer their brides apart from money...no respect, no understanding, no wit or charm or intelligence. NOT a reflection on those men who do have plenty to offer. There are also plenty of happy, compatible Thai-farang marriages based on mutual respect.

This is also true as I can say for certain as 5 of my wifes friends have married farangs and live in different countries while the one friend who married a Thai left him as he was into domestic violence to both her and her daughter. Another friend has a daughter by a farang and he has a different girl friend though he does give some financial support while she still has to work in Bangkok while another friend looks after her baby.

No one is perfect and if the detractors of Thais are not happy they can always leave Thailand, most Thai girls cannot

End of rant.

[Backpack_thailand]

Ooooh, so many voices of reason on here!

So here's my story, having sparked so much reaction with my inoffensive little comment. I have lived here for many years and am pretty fluent in Thai. However it was all so different a long time ago.

My first Thai GF was wonderful, beautiful and (I thought) loved me. Wrong! Once my money stopped she was gone within a fortnight, after more than 2 years of being together. A straight forward "walk-out".

Thai girls with foreign husbands are generally looked down on by other Thais. FACT! If they're not with you for the money, then why should they bother? If you can't communicate then it's not worth the effort on the Thai side.

But of course there are exceptions to the rule. The second (and current) Mrs.Backpack is a wonderful person (and yes, originally from Issan). Mother of my baby son and another due in March. We have been together for over 6 years now and when we met I didn't have a pot to p1ss in. We have stayed together through thick and thin and are still as happy as ever.

The key here is speaking Thai. As one poster said, finding out what they are saying is so important. Give them an inch and they WILL take a mile. When the family first started to visit they would of course order enough food to feed an army. Once they realised that I was a "normal" person and wouldn't just blindly pay any bills that are given to me then Oooh, I hardly ever see them now. They would always arrive with loads of hangers on and try to get as much out of me as possible.

My wife is great in these situations, she even backed my point of view over her family. The funny thing is I went to my sister-in-laws house one time with 4 farang friends, same as they would do to me. My God, the offense caused was unbearable. Did we get a good feed...Did we furk!

If you let yourself be a doormat, then that's what you will be. Over time and visits to my wifes family home I have slowly become accepted as "one of the locals", or near as ###### it. Another farang lives in the village and can't speak any Thai and always has to foot the bill. Go past his house and it's full of Thais 24/7, eating, drinking. Come to my wifes family home when we are eating and it's just the family.

To the villagers, they just laugh at him. All having a really good time at his expense. he's a nice guy as well and it's funny as furk when I turn up at his house as the noise levels drop and the respect aimed at both the farangs in the room is turned up to almost embarrasing levels.

Stand up for yourselves people. Don't accept being a doormat. Have you ever heard a Thai family member say "Thank you"...??

As an "old-hand" at this living in Thailand lark, I know the way things work and obviously the good out weighs the bad otherwise I wouldn't be here.

Thailand is a wonderful place, let's not see past this fact. Yes we get pissed off from time-to-time but that's expected with a cross-culture type thingy!

In the long run, you will gain more respect if you stand up for yourself from the beginning. Be a man, not a wimp. This is still a man's world over here and wimps are laughed at!

Thank you very much, I'll be here all week! Please drive carefully.

[pung yai]

My lovely wife is Isaan, she is the salt of the earth. I gladly help support her elderly mother and her sister who cares for her. My wife insists on working and sending her money home, refusing to take any more money from me, even though I earn a good salary and have more than I need. A drunkard's dream? Her family loves me for being happy to be part of the family. Between Buddha and Christ there is little room for selfishness. It's a win-win situation folks. Can you ask for more? Are creature comforts worth more than the tears, admiration and love of peasant woman who raised such a fine daughter? I consider myself very fortunate that my wife's family is very frugal and responsible. Our gifts are well received and well placed. I may not fully understand the spirituality of earning merit, but I fully understand the meaning of love.

[Livinginexile]

"...most had met their husbands through serendipity"

'Serendipity' is that the one in Cowboy next to Suzy Wong's?

Thats so funny...

But actually you are correct, these guys moaning here about greedy Thai woman are the guys that chose prostitutes as their wives. What baffles me is they seem suprised when an Isan born and bred bar girl rips them off!!

My wife is from a poor, hard working traditional family in Bkk, in 2 years she nor her familily have ever asked me for 1 cent. Never sent money to her and she has never asked for any.

You guys that go on and on about being ripped off by Thai women ought to look for love outside of the gogo bars and if you've been burnt...go cry to your Moma, we don't want to hear about your bad choices in life.

[jdinasia]

Ooooh, so many voices of reason on here!

So here's my story, having sparked so much reaction with my inoffensive little comment. I have lived here for many years and am pretty fluent in Thai. However it was all so different a long time ago.

My first Thai GF was wonderful, beautiful and (I thought) loved me. Wrong! Once my money stopped she was gone within a fortnight, after more than 2 years of being together. A straight forward "walk-out".

Thai girls with foreign husbands are generally looked down on by other Thais. FACT! If they're not with you for the money, then why should they bother? If you can't communicate then it's not worth the effort on the Thai side.

But of course there are exceptions to the rule. The second (and current) Mrs.Backpack is a wonderful person (and yes, originally from Issan). Mother of my baby son and another due in March. We have been together for over 6 years now and when we met I didn't have a pot to p1ss in. We have stayed together through thick and thin and are still as happy as ever.

So ....... your experiences are 50/50? The first one left after you could not perform financially at the same level you did for 2 years? The level she had reason to expect? 50/50 seem pretty decent odds on marraige ANYWHERE in the world!

Your "Fact!" above seem to be both in contradiction to the article above AND many other people's experiences. Your stories of other farang in your area don't indicate that those farang are unhappy with the lifestyle of having other folks around and partying etc.

Much if not ALL depends upon who you meet and who they are in relationship with their families etc.

I can garauntee that the social status of the Thai that is involved with a farang <before she met the farang> is of far more importance than being the wife/partner of a farang than the mere fact of the relationship with the farang. Another consideration is where the Thai is from in relation to where they are living now. A Thai from Isaan in Bangkok is going to be looked at differently than a BKK Thai of the same $$ background. A farang married to a Thai from Isaan will have all sorts of other assumptions made about him as well. One of my dear friends that happens to be a son of a well off isaan family, and a law student at Chula runs into all kinds of crap at school and out and about. Even though the family bought a condo in town for him while he is in school etc. It is the nature of BKK vs Bannock.

I would agree that if you live upcountry that an understanding of Thai language is VITAL! <and living in BKK it is also important but not as vital if your wife/partner is fluent in Eng>

note .... this was NOT meant to be a serious slap at Backpack .... just hopefully a different viewpoint!