North-eastern Thais Praise Foreign Husbands

[massein]

Can someone give us the lowdown on the Bai Sri Soo Kwan blessing. I'm in my 6th year of wedded bless in westerning thailand and my familly do not have any understanding of this ceremony. Maybe its a transcription problem.

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and foreign men are better received in Thai communities, a recent study has revealed, with northeastern villagers in particular praising their foreign sons-in-law for better supporting their new Thai family.

With many northeastern villages organising "Bai Sri Soo Kwan" blessing ceremonies for foreign husbands during the Thai New Year festival, Asst Professor Buaphan Promphak-ping of Khon Kaen University called this a meaningful honour resulting from a cultural change in Thai communities.

The National Culture Commis-sion Office sponsored a study on "cross-cultural marriages of Thai women in the northeastern region" to investigate cultural changes in Thai rural areas resulting from such marriages.

Twelve Thai women - from one community with Western-Thai marriages and three communities with Eastern-Thai marriages (husbands from Hong Kong and Japan) - took part in the study.

Most of the women married to Western men had been married before, to Thai men, and most had intentionally sought a new foreign husband, the study revealed.

The wives of Asian men were either divorcees or previously single and most had met their husbands through serendipity.

The women's ages when they married ranged from 19 to 47 and none had used the Internet as a means to meet their husband due to a lack of computer literacy.

Following marriage, the women's financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

The marriages were accepted within the communities and even encouraged by the women's relatives, as they were seen as a way to gain income. Foreign sons-in-law were better able to financially support the family than Thai husbands, the study said.

Udon Thani villager Supira TraiPhu, 42, said she had been married to a German national, Peter Volk, for nearly 15 years and initially lived with him in Germany. Four years ago they moved back to Thailand as Supira was worried about her teenage son - fathered by her previous Thai husband - and because her German husband had retired from work.

The family built a Bt2-million house, the biggest in the village, and had gained the respect of the neighbours, she said.

"At first, the neighbours were critical of my bringing a foreign husband home, but then they realised we did not cause them any trouble and brought good things here, so everyone wanted to talk with my husband and invite him to join their merit-making activities and parties," she said.

With her husband's pension of about Bt20,000 a month to support the family, she said they lived happily and comfortably enough.

Describing her husband as a good and understanding man, Supira said all her relatives were happy and her Thai son loved and obeyed his stepfather as much as he did his mother.

"If I were to have another chance to choose a husband, I would choose Peter again because he is wonderful and treats me nicely," Supira said.

Khamdee Phromlee, 70, a Roi Et villager who had recently gained a British son-in-law, said she did not mind her daughter marrying a foreigner if she loved him and he loved and treated her well.

Speaking no English at all, Khamdee said the downside of having a foreign son-in-law was the difficulty in communication, but her daughter's family now lived and ran a restaurant in Prachuap Khiri Khan's Hua Hin district and only visited her once in a while.

She recalled that her daughter's marriage ceremony was a grand occasion admired by neighbours. Khamdee said she was not certain that if she had a Thai son-in-law, they would have had the chance to hold such a wedding ceremony in a five-star hotel.

Khamdee said her daughter had lived a difficult life following a break-up with her Thai husband, who left her with their nine-year-old child to raise alone.

"Supporting an ageing mother while raising her kid as a single mother was not easy," she said, adding that since her daughter married her British husband, her life had been comfortable, running their restaurant with many employees.

--The Nation 2006-08-27

[Thaddeus]

Ooooh, so many voices of reason on here!

So here's my story, having sparked so much reaction with my inoffensive little comment. I have lived here for many years and am pretty fluent in Thai. However it was all so different a long time ago.

My first Thai GF was wonderful, beautiful and (I thought) loved me. Wrong! Once my money stopped she was gone within a fortnight, after more than 2 years of being together. A straight forward "walk-out".

Thai girls with foreign husbands are generally looked down on by other Thais. FACT! If they're not with you for the money, then why should they bother? If you can't communicate then it's not worth the effort on the Thai side.

But of course there are exceptions to the rule. The second (and current) Mrs.Backpack is a wonderful person (and yes, originally from Issan). Mother of my baby son and another due in March. We have been together for over 6 years now and when we met I didn't have a pot to p1ss in. We have stayed together through thick and thin and are still as happy as ever.

The key here is speaking Thai. As one poster said, finding out what they are saying is so important. Give them an inch and they WILL take a mile. When the family first started to visit they would of course order enough food to feed an army. Once they realised that I was a "normal" person and wouldn't just blindly pay any bills that are given to me then Oooh, I hardly ever see them now. They would always arrive with loads of hangers on and try to get as much out of me as possible.

My wife is great in these situations, she even backed my point of view over her family. The funny thing is I went to my sister-in-laws house one time with 4 farang friends, same as they would do to me. My God, the offense caused was unbearable. Did we get a good feed...Did we furk!

If you let yourself be a doormat, then that's what you will be. Over time and visits to my wifes family home I have slowly become accepted as "one of the locals", or near as ###### it. Another farang lives in the village and can't speak any Thai and always has to foot the bill. Go past his house and it's full of Thais 24/7, eating, drinking. Come to my wifes family home when we are eating and it's just the family.

To the villagers, they just laugh at him. All having a really good time at his expense. he's a nice guy as well and it's funny as furk when I turn up at his house as the noise levels drop and the respect aimed at both the farangs in the room is turned up to almost embarrasing levels.

Stand up for yourselves people. Don't accept being a doormat. Have you ever heard a Thai family member say "Thank you"...??

As an "old-hand" at this living in Thailand lark, I know the way things work and obviously the good out weighs the bad otherwise I wouldn't be here.

Thailand is a wonderful place, let's not see past this fact. Yes we get pissed off from time-to-time but that's expected with a cross-culture type thingy!

In the long run, you will gain more respect if you stand up for yourself from the beginning. Be a man, not a wimp. This is still a man's world over here and wimps are laughed at!

Thank you very much, I'll be here all week! Please drive carefully.

That's better, and made a lot more sense

I totally agree with the speaking Thai part, and around here having some Laos is very advantageous. When I was just a visitor here, my knowledge of either language was very limited.... since I started living here it has come on leaps and bounds by comparison.

I don't know if you have found this to be true, but in my experience, when you can speak even rudimentary Thai, the locals assume you know far more than you actually do..... works with Laos as well.

Agreed on the doormat part too.... I let my extended family know that I wasn't going to be funding regular parties or drinking sessions. I shouldn't really have needed to, as they own 50 Rai of producing rubber trees, so they are not strapped for cash..... but, if I hadn't made it known I wasn't going to be a cash cow, that could well have happened anyway.

[jdinasia]

Massein ---- google- Bai Sri Soo Kwan-

it appears to be an Isaan thing

[slim]

The key here is speaking Thai.

Wrong.

The key here is communication.

My wife speaks ok English - I speak ok Thai.

If she's with her folks in her village (Rak Chat - near Nampong in Issan country) and she's talking to family, I dont understand a word but thats because she "phut Issan" and 95% of Thai's born south of Nakhon Ratchasima wouldn't know what they were on about.

Being able to speak Thai is hardly a prerequisite for a successful relationship.

Understanding each other is.

The old saying "you cut your cloth to suit your needs"

If all you have is 20,000 Baht a month it is quite easy to live in the sticks in Isaan on that amount

Yeah - if you want dont want to buy washing powder, detergent or floor cleaner

Edited August 27, 2006 by slim

[VanZam]

This is so pathetic and silly article...

"the didn't care that she merry foreign and encourage it as they will gain money"

Of course..this is all about anyway the thais will sell them daughter in a second they realize they will get money..its insulting (the foreign as they accept him because the money) and humiliating (for the daughters as they get approved and recognized/respect from the family only if bring money not based on any value but the money. which very similiar to human traficing..another fact that very exsist and very alive in Thailand 2006).

"They built a house and gain respect from the neighbours"

Of course..loose face earn face..again money if it was me I shy even to build a fancy house in a rural/poor village then everybody fell even more down and poor then they flt before..

Nothing to be proud about.

Have more comments about this article but nothing new..

This is only my opinion.

Cheers,

Agreed, for a Buddhist nation, Thais sure seem to give material possessions a high status.

There is nothing new in this article, bit of a no-brainer question to ask really.. "Do you enjoy having a personal cash cow joining your family?" ummm gee wait let me think....

[WaiWai]

Of course..loose face earn face..again money if it was me I shy even to build a fancy house in a rural/poor village then everybody fell even more down and poor then they flt before..

Nothing to be proud about.

Thanks for making this point.

Try not having any money back where you come from and see how long the relationship will last.

... ???

[Martin]

As 'slim' said, in post #62, the key here is communication.

I am hopeless at languages (no aural memory, and partially tone deaf), so I have had to find ways to communicate.

My wife is the opposite. She learnt her English one word or phrase per day when working in the laundry at the US airforce base. As she did her ironing, she would practise her entire 'mental dictionary' silently.

She doesn't read little black markings written on white paper, she reads thoughts that express themselves in tiny muscular movements on people's faces.

Some of my friends would be mortified to know that she has read their first thoughts on meeting her, and has told me, and I have said: "Yes, knowing him, I can see that would have been the way his thinking would go"!!!

My way of communicating is to say: "Phum mae poot Thai", pause, "Phum poot Lao nid noi. Sip kaem".

That way I have indicated that I know those ignoramuses down in Bangkok, who couldn't barbecue some frogs even if they were given them, look down on Isaan people; but I don't (even though I can only manage ten words of Isaan dialect).

(And I knew it was a genuinely successful communication when the cop whose radar trap had caught me doing 147 km/h let me go, with a laugh and a slap on the shoulder.)

Incidentally, when I try using those ten words, my pronunciation is so diabolical that my wife says them again to explain what it was that the farang was trying to say. But I still get 'brownie points' for having tried.

If my wife isn't with me, much of my communication (especially in shops) is by drawing a little picture and printing the English words beside it. Many Thais are much better at reading written English than at understanding spoken English.

[Nam Kao]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

[sbk]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

[Huckenfell]

Oh at last, something positive! Back slaps all round Gentlemen!

And thank you Thai media!!

Makes you feel proud to see that notice, does'nt it !

[Huckenfell]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

Well i would rather be paying,happy and looked after than Paying ,miserable, ripped off and unhappy !..............as for the nagging bit , well that was hel_l!

[imjustagirl]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

[Huckenfell]

Another opportunity for Thai bashing by the sour grapes croud who couldn't manage there relationships where they came from and obviously haven't learned anything since they came here.

These are the "blame somebody else" folks who refuse to take any personal responsability for there own role in their failures.

"stupid is as stupid does"

Well said Schooner, but i think that most of us already know that, just did'nt have the guts to say it in here !

[SiriusBlack1]

Hi Canadianvisitor (from Canada Obviously),

I asked a woman if she would like to dance at a function last week here in Toronto..

Her response was "Do you rent or do you own?"

I hope you asked her if she was talking about houses or women

Seriously, it's nice to see us get some good press, instead of being run down as sleazy sex tourists who (more to the point!) don't spend much money (absolutely false of course).

It's easy to talk cynically but, believe it or not, there ARE good women in this country who make good wives. But 9 times out of 10, you're not going to meet her swinging on a pole in Sweet Rumpty a Go Go.

And they are a MUCH better deal than back home in Canada (where I'm from too) -- no matter whether you're renting or buying!

[Pink Mist]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

[Jarrod]

This is very good news. Many threads in thaivisa have focussed on shameful aspects of westerners which casts dispersions on others. Personally, as a divorced European male I will never re-marry a European. This view is held by many of my countrymen who quite rightly seek a better relationship with Thai women. As for the money aspects do not be so cynical. Security is important in any relationship and THB is part of that. In my home country womens legitimised greed and excessive fiscal demands have ruined many males who have no rights or recourse. I have never met a Thai person who comes anywhere near this. Don't waste any time to ask me who I will I likely marry... the answer is obvious ... and for the cynics... which is better value for THB ... no contest! I have never heard any nagging in Thailand but in my home country it is the national pass-time.

[terry57]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

any chance of a date ?

[imjustagirl]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

I understand the topic, i'm just wondering if there has been a study of success of TM to FG marriages...is that not a cross cultural marriage!? Given the standing of 'respect' from community where does a thai man stand when his farang wife is earning more than him....man supporting woman = good, woman supporting man = ? good? bad? As men are usually the 'status' head in a family I am just curious....western culture of man should earn more than woman, does it apply in LoS? Or does money talk as has been discussed? if not appropriate i will start another thread.... and as said before thumbs up to our western blokes treating the ladies right

[Pink Mist]

This has all been discussed in in depth before, but we can do it again.

My point has been, the success failure rate, should be compared to similar rates in the rest of the world.

I am of course talking of marriage success rates

[Huckenfell]

Ooooh, so many voices of reason on here!

So here's my story, having sparked so much reaction with my inoffensive little comment. I have lived here for many years and am pretty fluent in Thai. However it was all so different a long time ago.

My first Thai GF was wonderful, beautiful and (I thought) loved me. Wrong! Once my money stopped she was gone within a fortnight, after more than 2 years of being together. A straight forward "walk-out".

Thai girls with foreign husbands are generally looked down on by other Thais. FACT! If they're not with you for the money, then why should they bother? If you can't communicate then it's not worth the effort on the Thai side.

But of course there are exceptions to the rule. The second (and current) Mrs.Backpack is a wonderful person (and yes, originally from Issan). Mother of my baby son and another due in March. We have been together for over 6 years now and when we met I didn't have a pot to p1ss in. We have stayed together through thick and thin and are still as happy as ever.

So ....... your experiences are 50/50? The first one left after you could not perform financially at the same level you did for 2 years? The level she had reason to expect? 50/50 seem pretty decent odds on marraige ANYWHERE in the world!

Your "Fact!" above seem to be both in contradiction to the article above AND many other people's experiences. Your stories of other farang in your area don't indicate that those farang are unhappy with the lifestyle of having other folks around and partying etc.

Much if not ALL depends upon who you meet and who they are in relationship with their families etc.

I can garauntee that the social status of the Thai that is involved with a farang <before she met the farang> is of far more importance than being the wife/partner of a farang than the mere fact of the relationship with the farang. Another consideration is where the Thai is from in relation to where they are living now. A Thai from Isaan in Bangkok is going to be looked at differently than a BKK Thai of the same $$ background. A farang married to a Thai from Isaan will have all sorts of other assumptions made about him as well. One of my dear friends that happens to be a son of a well off isaan family, and a law student at Chula runs into all kinds of crap at school and out and about. Even though the family bought a condo in town for him while he is in school etc. It is the nature of BKK vs Bannock.

I would agree that if you live upcountry that an understanding of Thai language is VITAL! <and living in BKK it is also important but not as vital if your wife/partner is fluent in Eng>

note .... this was NOT meant to be a serious slap at Backpack .... just hopefully a different viewpoint!

Regarding you advice about farang speaking Thai, is it really difficult for the average farang to learn the language. My G/F is uni trained and speaks very good english, this is ok but she wont be with me all the time so i think i really need to understand the language. I will always remember a Bkk taxi driver proposing to her that he charge me 'big bhat' and would give her half. Lucky for me he picked the wrong girl to deal with.

[jdinasia]

Huck --- I rather disagree that Thai is"really" difficult for an average farang to learn! I just think that the average farang never sets out deliberately to learn! That would include taking classes etc the same as you would do with any new complicated thing!

Yet since this is about a different subject entirely ... go have a looksee in the thai language forum! You'll be suprised how many of us DO speak/read and write Thai to some decent level of proficiency!

Edited August 27, 2006 by jdinasia

[sbk]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

I understand the topic, i'm just wondering if there has been a study of success of TM to FG marriages...is that not a cross cultural marriage!? Given the standing of 'respect' from community where does a thai man stand when his farang wife is earning more than him....man supporting woman = good, woman supporting man = ? good? bad? As men are usually the 'status' head in a family I am just curious....western culture of man should earn more than woman, does it apply in LoS? Or does money talk as has been discussed? if not appropriate i will start another thread.... and as said before thumbs up to our western blokes treating the ladies right

Check out the Ladies in Thailand section regarding this, we have discussed it before and are usually willing to discuss it again, without the inevitable peanut gallery you would find in the General Section

So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest.

[Huckenfell]

This is very good news. Many threads in thaivisa have focussed on shameful aspects of westerners which casts dispersions on others. Personally, as a divorced European male I will never re-marry a European. This view is held by many of my countrymen who quite rightly seek a better relationship with Thai women. As for the money aspects do not be so cynical. Security is important in any relationship and THB is part of that. In my home country womens legitimised greed and excessive fiscal demands have ruined many males who have no rights or recourse. I have never met a Thai person who comes anywhere near this. Don't waste any time to ask me who I will I likely marry... the answer is obvious ... and for the cynics... which is better value for THB ... no contest! I have never heard any nagging in Thailand but in my home country it is the national pass-time.

Well mate ! thats another question i need to ask, do Thai wives nagg like farang ones do. I have just spent 4 days camping ( alone) at a big Country Music Festival and it was worse than chicken pox in a kindy school..........bloody contagious and constant !

[siampinai]

I quite agree with some of the good comments here over foreign husbands. I'm from another asian country once married for 17 years to a Canadian-British. I didn't meet him through internet. We've lived together for 17 years and blessed with 3 growing up children till he passed away 7 years ago. I'll say that he treated me with all respect including my immediate family as well. Love is not a question too for there's love in our marriage. Our relationship wasn't based for the money only as I've got a career myself. What I wanted to say here is that cross cultural marriages doesn't guarantee of a heavenly relatiosnhip I guess it's how both parties try work it out. So, for some who experienced unpleasant relationship, it's not all what there is in one unfortunate event. We can't simply just judge others or blame others for that unpleasant incidents in life.

[sbk]

This is very good news. Many threads in thaivisa have focussed on shameful aspects of westerners which casts dispersions on others. Personally, as a divorced European male I will never re-marry a European. This view is held by many of my countrymen who quite rightly seek a better relationship with Thai women. As for the money aspects do not be so cynical. Security is important in any relationship and THB is part of that. In my home country womens legitimised greed and excessive fiscal demands have ruined many males who have no rights or recourse. I have never met a Thai person who comes anywhere near this. Don't waste any time to ask me who I will I likely marry... the answer is obvious ... and for the cynics... which is better value for THB ... no contest! I have never heard any nagging in Thailand but in my home country it is the national pass-time.

Well mate ! thats another question i need to ask, do Thai wives nagg like farang ones do. I have just spent 4 days camping ( alone) at a big Country Music Festival and it was worse than chicken pox in a kindy school..........bloody contagious and constant !

Yes, well, if you were alone then you must have been nagging yourself. Back to the topic at hand please.

[Huckenfell]

Huck --- I rather disagree that Thai is"really" difficult for an average farang to learn! I just think that the average farang never sets out deliberately to learn! That would include taking classes etc the same as you would do with any new complicated thing!

Yet since this is about a different subject entirely ... go have a looksee in the thai language forum! You'll be suprised how many of us DO speak/read and write Thai to some decent level of proficiency!

Thanks jdinasia, i will certianly go to school when i return to Bkk in nov, i see the spelling but get the pronounciation all wrong at the moment, thought it was just me .

[imjustagirl]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

I understand the topic, i'm just wondering if there has been a study of success of TM to FG marriages...is that not a cross cultural marriage!? Given the standing of 'respect' from community where does a thai man stand when his farang wife is earning more than him....man supporting woman = good, woman supporting man = ? good? bad? As men are usually the 'status' head in a family I am just curious....western culture of man should earn more than woman, does it apply in LoS? Or does money talk as has been discussed? if not appropriate i will start another thread.... and as said before thumbs up to our western blokes treating the ladies right

Check out the Ladies in Thailand section regarding this, we have discussed it before and are usually willing to discuss it again, without the inevitable peanut gallery you would find in the General Section

So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest.

[Huckenfell]

This is very good news. Many threads in thaivisa have focussed on shameful aspects of westerners which casts dispersions on others. Personally, as a divorced European male I will never re-marry a European. This view is held by many of my countrymen who quite rightly seek a better relationship with Thai women. As for the money aspects do not be so cynical. Security is important in any relationship and THB is part of that. In my home country womens legitimised greed and excessive fiscal demands have ruined many males who have no rights or recourse. I have never met a Thai person who comes anywhere near this. Don't waste any time to ask me who I will I likely marry... the answer is obvious ... and for the cynics... which is better value for THB ... no contest! I have never heard any nagging in Thailand but in my home country it is the national pass-time.

Well mate ! thats another question i need to ask, do Thai wives nagg like farang ones do. I have just spent 4 days camping ( alone) at a big Country Music Festival and it was worse than chicken pox in a kindy school..........bloody contagious and constant

Yes, well, if you were alone then you must have been nagging yourself. Back to the topic at hand please.

Dont be stupid, there were many hundreds of others all around me, mostly in the aged 40 to 65 yrs age group, and boy did those women like to be heard! they did'nt seem to be satisfied for more than a few hours despite all the luxuries they had with them. Nearby was a man of about 65 yrs with a Thai wife around 30 , they seemed so happy together............makes me wonder ?

[Pink Mist]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

I understand the topic, i'm just wondering if there has been a study of success of TM to FG marriages...is that not a cross cultural marriage!? Given the standing of 'respect' from community where does a thai man stand when his farang wife is earning more than him....man supporting woman = good, woman supporting man = ? good? bad? As men are usually the 'status' head in a family I am just curious....western culture of man should earn more than woman, does it apply in LoS? Or does money talk as has been discussed? if not appropriate i will start another thread.... and as said before thumbs up to our western blokes treating the ladies right

Check out the Ladies in Thailand section regarding this, we have discussed it before and are usually willing to discuss it again, without the inevitable peanut gallery you would find in the General Section

So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest.

so your comment was justgirl

[sbk]

Dont be stupid, there were many hundreds of others all around me, mostly in the aged 40 to 65 yrs age group, and boy did those women like to be heard! they did'nt seem to be satisfied for more than a few hours despite all the luxuries they had with them. Nearby was a man of about 65 yrs with a Thai wife around 30 , they seemed so happy together............makes me wonder ?

If you don't have anything to contribute to the topic at hand then please refrain from posting such off-topic drivel thank you.