North-eastern Thais Praise Foreign Husbands

[Thaddeus]

"since her daughter married her British husband, her life had been comfortable, running their restaurant with many employees."

To me this article is all about money. Money makes everyone happy....?? I guess happiness comes after money..??

Did you read all the posts in this thread.

The ones containing the word 'money' as a negative aspect are predominately from the contributors who either, have little or no experience, or just post negative comments irrespective of the subject material at hand.

Self edit..... there is a third category. People who have experienced a lot, but learned little.

Edited August 29, 2006 by Thaddeus

[changchang]

Let's be real,Bud. Mom wouldn't have married dear old Dad if he wasn't a good provider and "bringing home the bacon".

Some Moms ... not sure how old you are but I could certainly tell other stories.

And still more of younger generations will have very different stories.

[sbk]

Cheers changchang, I agree with you there.

But I am also interested in hearing about other aspects of the article, not just the "money buys everything" aspect. Which, frankly, hasn't been my experience. It seems to me the general attitude I have seen is that a farang who throws his money around trying to impres usually ends up being viewed as "a fool and his money are soon parted".

Anyway, any other men living in the boonies who have something to contribute?

[opothai]

when in los just outside korat.

my good lady and i stay out in the boonies.

we contribute to the family by ways of paying them for building and looking after our property,

we do not lend money or give money but buy things for them as a favour for a favour.

personaly sometimes i go to the village shop with the brother in law [ dutch ] and we sit and have a drink for a few hours and buy some of the locals drinks, the only problem is we must drink some of the local whisky that the locals buy back

we have the occasional party and invite all the kids and local dignatories and supply the pig and booze. we do not do this as look at us rich falangs we do this as a thankyou to the locals for making our stay enjoyable.

the family gain stature from this, of which daddy enjoys.

so to me it is a two way situation, every body wins and likes each other and it is a very harmoneous time

[terry57]

when in los just outside korat.

my good lady and i stay out in the boonies.

we contribute to the family by ways of paying them for building and looking after our property,

we do not lend money or give money but buy things for them as a favour for a favour.

personaly sometimes i go to the village shop with the brother in law [ dutch ] and we sit and have a drink for a few hours and buy some of the locals drinks, the only problem is we must drink some of the local whisky that the locals buy back

we have the occasional party and invite all the kids and local dignatories and supply the pig and booze. we do not do this as look at us rich falangs we do this as a thankyou to the locals for making our stay enjoyable.

the family gain stature from this, of which daddy enjoys.

so to me it is a two way situation, every body wins and likes each other and it is a very harmoneous time

yes my friend,

this is the exact situation that us in the west call " the itchy back system " same but different.

also this is buddism working at it's best,

take the middle road to happiness, " as what goes round comes round "

make good karma and have respect for people.

any way mate,

you got a handle on it

cheers

[Backpack_thailand]

Well may be slightly off track but all the English guys I know who ended up living in some village in the middle of nowhere have tended to regret it - they just can't cope with the boredom in the mud, being a taxi service to everyone around, unending local Thai laziness and indolence and extended families eating their money but the guys who live a 8+ hours away in the modern holiday resorts with a local farang community in modern houses ( but not too big) with mod cons etc., decent schools, big shops, appear far far happier and content.

Couldn't agree more. My wifes village in Nakhon Phanom is so small, almost like a commune. They're all happy with their life up there though, however it's certainly not for me. It's right on the border with Laos, if you went any further you'd get wet!!

I enjoy visits there few times a year but just 3/4 days is more than enough. I'm sure this "Lao Khao" can't be good for my heart or liver!

[Martin]

Assimilating and being respected follows from what the 'mia farang' and her husband do.

I can't find what I posted on this website about rural Isaan building activities, but here is what I wrote in my Christmas letter to family in the UK in 2003:

"Thong’s big development schemes this year have concerned the garden and the sitting room. First she planned a complete remodeling of the garden, with the lawns raised and lots more ornamental shrubs and orchids added to the ‘food items’ of bananas, papayas, tamarinds, mangoes, coconuts, herbs and spices. Then she announced “I have Idea”----which I know are the fateful words that indicate she is going into her ‘mansion-expansion’ mode.

I am convinced that, if her parents could have afforded to let her go to school, she could have won scholarships and probably ‘had Idea’ to become an architect.

This year her Idea came in three parts. First to extend the front of the sitting room out into the garden “with windows so we can see the flowers”.

Second to build a full bathroom on the ground floor at the side of the house, and third to separate off the back part of the sitting room as a double bedroom.

This would let us live totally on the ground floor and banish the dreaded danger of old age of falling down the staircase. Thong has the engineers’ concept of designed-in intrinsic safety.

All I did was to ask how much she thought it would cost and then, when I saw that we would still be (just!) solvent even if it went 50% over estimate, I gave my approval. Nothing seemed to happen for several weeks, but I knew Thong was thinking out the details of the design (all in her head---nothing on paper). When I got back from UK the garden was done and the building team were at work on the sitting room.

Engaging builders is an interesting process. Thong contacts a leader who she knows, or has heard well of. He comes to assess the job. Over two or three hours, Thong tells him what she wants done and answers his questions. He goes off and talks with craftsmen and labourers in whom he has confidence and finds who are interested in taking part. Then the whole team comes and it is all talked through again. Some of these farmers are also excellent craftsmen, having worked for several years on the tiling and fitting out of high-class hotels in the Gulf. The team goes away, and a couple of days later the leader comes back and gives their price for doing the work. It is a ‘labour only’ contract; Thong has to arrange the purchase and delivery of all the materials and fittings. My role is to drive her to various builders’ supplies merchants---at some of which I am directed to park out of sight and read my book whilst she negotiates. These are the ones (usually Chinese) who are suspected of raising their prices if they know a Westerner is paying!.

It has all turned out very well. With opening windows on three sides, the sitting-room extension gets the breeze coming through it very nicely. As the main windows go down to knee level one gets a very pleasant awareness of the garden---almost like being on a verandah. People are amazed that Thong does all the design, and the daily supervision of the workmanship, herself. But she has the sense of proportion and of ‘line’ to get the dimensions just right so that the new blends in with the old. And she works hard on all the detail. Her four big jobs (car-port +garden shed and toilet, the visitors’ bungalow, the replacement and enlargement of the kitchen/dining room, and now the downstairs-living suite) have all been great successes. In fact, I have seen much less successful house extensions designed and overseen by professional architects."

Incidentally, we know that I earned respect whilst the building team were doing the above extension. It came to Thong's ears that farangs were being discussed in a village a few kilometres away. The conversation got round to the general scruffiness of farang husbands. (You see them in Udon in just T-shirt and shorts.) One man said that the farang in Non Sa-at (me) was not like that. "I worked at his house for seven weeks and never saw his knees".

Some posters have mentioned that few farangs can manage life way out in the little villages.

But then, few educated Thais can either!

Where we live, on the edge of a small district town (an 'amphoe') on the highway, we have a number of neighbours who are teachers. They drive out to small villages far out in the 'boonies', teach at the primary schools and drive home in the afternoon. It is rare to see a farang house in one of those little villages.

One of them teaches in his boyhood village, where he still has rice-growing land that he inherited from his parents. He and his wife and children lived out there till the eldest child was entering secondary school (located here in the 'amphoe'). Then they moved here and his wife tells my wife that they got a much bigger circle of friends as a result. But she says they have kept their house in the old home village and may well move back in retirement. She also tells my wife that she, who had been brought up in an 'amphoe', found it took time to assimilate to the village after her marriage!!

So it isn't just farang husbands who have to earn/build up respect.

I have met Dr Buaphan, but didn't know about this study. I will seek him out and find more detail, but my guess is that the study took place in villages pretty close to the Khon Kaen to Udon Thani highway, and not far from where we live. If so, it should be borne in mind that these farang husbands are joining families that have had a lot more 'exposure' to farangs than those who live in the remote villages far in from the highway.

[wolf5370]

The thing that gets me in these articles (and there have been a few) is that they always ask the parents views and bias the report on that. Though I can understand where they (the writers) are coming from, the parents are always going to be interested in the ability of the perspective son-in-law to look after their duaghter, improve her lot and create the best environments for the grandchildren. This is obvious, true the world over and completely the correct attitude for the parents - the daughter has decided the 'love' part presumeably, otherwise why is she looking for the marriage.

The problem is that this is likely to fuel the 'bride-for-sale' notion that so many people have already (on both sides of the racial divide). It skews the story to make it heavily biased on material wealth, which is unfortunate. Media obviously takes out what they want from any report to give the greatest reaction - that's what news is about.

Just for background: Me = Married 8 years to Thai girl (not Isaan though) I've known for 10, and known family for half my life - small age gap (standard Western I suppose) - two kids.

Comments to some slightly off-topic stuff...

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

#...erm, my wife would not be happy with either I fear (and I mean I fear! )

incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is...

I only know two such situations to comment on. Both are happy and long term. Both are in the UK (though one alternates between the UK and LoS on a yearly basis - or so it seems). I find it a little curious as the cultural differences as they shift changes their relationships - in the UK the English girl is in control and the Thai man is almost subordinate (although the men are fluent in English) and in LoS it flips (the girls are also fluent in Thai). Very curious outside looking in.

[LoveDaBlues]

Get real. There's nowhere in Thailand you can build a large house for 100,000 baht.

Yes you can..... of course you can.

You just need to listen to the Thais.

I listened to "the Thais" and the wall around my property ended up costing over 100,000 baht. I'm not sure what your Thais are saying but cement, blocks, and steel ain't free. I once heard about an emperor who had some very beautiful new clothing, at least according to the people he listened to...

Recommendation.... don't just build a wall... build a barn.

Are you Thai? .... if you are you should be ashamed. if you aren't ........ oh well.

Oh.....now I get it. Just listen to the Thais.....they will talk you into building a 100,000 barn instead of the large house you wanted.....it's all so clear now.

Wow, I wish I was 'more Thai' like some of the posters here.

[WaiWai]

Something I was wondering about with regard to dynamics in villages where many foreigners have married local women was the reaction from other Thai men.

Is there any resentment that foreign men are marrying the women they might have been considering for marriage ? Is there a shortage of Thai men available for marriage in these NE villages (assuming the men also move to wealthier areas to work) ? Is there an overall shortage of Thai women available for marriage to Thai men in Thailand ? What's the story ?

Edited August 30, 2006 by WaiWai

[Martin]

I can't speak for villages where there are a lot of farang husbands, because there aren't (yet) any close to me.

In my village, (which is one of a cluster of three that surround the market, local government offices, hospital, police station, bank branches, and post office, and make up an 'amphoe' township), I am the only farang resident.

For ten years before we met, my wife had been bringing up her two sons on her own. She grew the basic food and some crops to sell for cash on her farmland, and was father and mother to the two boys.

There were no potential suitors around, as any man who would have 'measured up' to her was already married and bringing up a family.

In any case, she didn't want a husband, having had one who was more trouble than he was worth. (I was lucky to come on the scene just after the two boys went off to college, and I benefited from the onset of 'empty-nest syndrome'.)

I don't think that the retired police sergeant who told me: "You got our lady Number One OK. You make many Thai man very jealous" was referring to men who might have had any hope of marrying Thong. I think he was referring to the jealousy that some feel to the person who 'measures up' where they didn't. (A bit like a bright schoolchild can get 'picked on' by thickies.)

There doesn't seem to be an imbalance between young men and women of marriageable age. The most noticable feature of the villages is that they are "hollowed out", by having so many families where most of the parents are away working in Bangkok or on the seaboard, leaving the kids to be brought up by grandparents.

Typical is an extended family just down the road from us where the grandparents, with one son and his wife, are bringing up four sets of children because three sets of parents are working away. (And even the son is away quite a bit, because he is a truck driver and gets some trips to Bangkok etc).

It works, though, as all the families in the village are part of at least one group of families and everybody in the group helps out as necessary.

There are a lot more middle-aged women who are unattached, by being widowed or having had a husband who has gone off with a younger woman, than there are unattached men.

It will be interesting to see what happens over the years. I would not be surprised to see an increase in the number of farang husbands for them.

It has got to the stage where a single man in the West who reaches retirement age buys a far better standard of living here than he gets by staying in the West.

Living in Thailand sure beats eking out that little pension in Blighty and then being bunged in an Old Folks' Home.

So I expect many to come, and a growing proportion to 'discover' the villages.

At first sight, the village life in extended families, which is so different to the life in nuclear families in the West, might not appear to 'match' those farangs.

But, for the vast majority of us, if we could look far back into our forbears, we would see that we are descended from many, many generations of people who lived their lives as it is lived in the Thai villages, and it is only in the last few generations that there has been the urban life in the nuclear family.

Resemblance to remoter ancestors rather than to parents is called atavism, and it is there, though submerged, in many of us.

So, after one farang discovers he is happy in a village, and his mates come to visit him, some of them may well see that it would be good for them, too.

[fruittbatt]

Martin, thanks for all your posts. I have enjoyed reading about your wife's abilities and assertiveness, and about your evident pleasure in your life and your extended family & village community. Your posts are really great raw material for some heart-warming short stories: have you ever considered a wider audience?

[Martin]

For 'fruitbatt':

Thank you for the compliments.

Some years ago, before I got a PC and discovered www.thaivisa.com, I used to write long letters to my elder sister and she suggested working them into a book "Letters from Isaan".

But I found it is very hard to get published, as there are so many manuscripts looking for a publisher.

And then I started going to England off-and-on as a substitute teacher (a hard life with only two holidays a year: six weeks in summer, and six months in winter!)

I did think that that thread of views about finding a wife in a Bangkok bar would have made a good little book that would have had a good sale at the airport as "Something to read on the plane, sir?"!!!!

I will keep your suggestion in mind. Thanks.

[fruittbatt]

For 'fruitbatt':

Thank you for the compliments.

Some years ago, before I got a PC and discovered www.thaivisa.com, I used to write long letters to my elder sister and she suggested working them into a book "Letters from Isaan".

But I found it is very hard to get published, as there are so many manuscripts looking for a publisher.

And then I started going to England off-and-on as a substitute teacher (a hard life with only two holidays a year: six weeks in summer, and six months in winter!)

I did think that that thread of views about finding a wife in a Bangkok bar would have made a good little book that would have had a good sale at the airport as "Something to read on the plane, sir?"!!!!

I will keep your suggestion in mind. Thanks.

cheers, and best wishes to you and your wife

[Thaddeus]

I can't speak for villages where there are a lot of farang husbands, because there aren't (yet) any close to me.

I can.

Is there any resentment that foreign men are marrying the women they might have been considering for marriage ?

Yes, from a few individuals.... from the one's that are prepared to work for a living, not at all.

Is there a shortage of Thai men available for marriage in these NE villages (assuming the men also move to wealthier areas to work) ?

There is a shortage of men who are prepared to move somewhere else to work...... actually, that is a little unfair..... it's about 80/20 on that one. You get a slightly disjointed view because you never see the ones that do work, whereas the other set are always here.

Is there an overall shortage of Thai women available for marriage to Thai men in Thailand ?

..... no.

There are many 'good Thai men' where I live, but as I said before, you never see them. There is no shortage of females. There is however a large disparity between the number of females and 'good Thai men' ..... at least, I can state that as fact where I live, the amount of times I have been asked "can you find farang for........" are uncountable. I was even continually pestered with that question by a number of nurses at the hospital in Buriram when On broke her arm last year.

[WaiWai]

QUOTE

Is there an overall shortage of Thai women available for marriage to Thai men in Thailand ?

..... no.

There are many 'good Thai men' where I live, but as I said before, you never see them. There is no shortage of females

So, how does it all work ?

With reasonably large numbers of foreign men marrying local women AND a certain % of Thai men having both a wife and mistress AND some Thais leaving the older wife for someone from the pool of younger women, even though some of the latter group (older/divorced Thai women) are married by foreigners ... well, I just don't get understand how the numbers can work to everyone's satisfaction.

Women coming in to Thailand for neighbouring countries also being married by Thais and foreigners ?

Larger numbers of Thai men than women leaving Thailand / marrying outside Thailand ?

Sorry if this seems a little off-topic, but factors like this must affect the dynamics of village relationships.

One also wonders about the effects on Thai culture in villages into which large numbers of foreigners are moving.

Edited August 31, 2006 by WaiWai

[Martin]

From post #166 by 'Thaddeus':

"The amount of times I have been asked "can you find farang for........" are uncountable."

Same here.

Thong has a whole series of answers for that one.

They are all ways of saying "No", but they vary according whether she feels sorry for the questioner or teed off with them, and to what extent.

She also gets a lot of "What do you feed him on?".

I tell her she should say that she just takes some fish in a bucket at 3:00 pm and tosses them to me to catch in my mouth, one at a time.

One day at the market, she was fed up with being pestered with such questions from a stallholder, and said something in Thai just as we left. The woman looked at me with an expression as if she was a bit unsure, so I asked Thong what it had been all about.

Thong explained that after all the other questions, the woman had said "You (i.e. Thong) are very beautiful. What do you eat to make you beautiful?".

Thong's patience had come to an end, and she had said: "It isn't what a woman eats that makes her beautiful. To become beautiful, a woman just needs to get a husband who makes love to her every night, and twice on Saturdays".

(I did think that maybe cause and effect might have got reversed, but 'mae pen lai'.)

[newworks]

As a general rule I would say give working class poorly educated people in Thailand an inch and they will take a mile. You better be damned sure you speak Thai and understand the greed, jealousy and ignorance that exists in a lot of lower class rural communities before you settle in to your wedded bliss.

Just the facts ma'am.

JJ.

exactly.

[newworks]

"...most had met their husbands through serendipity"

'Serendipity' is that the one in Cowboy next to Suzy Wong's?

i thought it was in patpong next to "superpussy".

[sbk]

QUOTE

Is there an overall shortage of Thai women available for marriage to Thai men in Thailand ?

..... no.

There are many 'good Thai men' where I live, but as I said before, you never see them. There is no shortage of females

So, how does it all work ?

With reasonably large numbers of foreign men marrying local women AND a certain % of Thai men having both a wife and mistress AND some Thais leaving the older wife for someone from the pool of younger women, even though some of the latter group (older/divorced Thai women) are married by foreigners ... well, I just don't get understand how the numbers can work to everyone's satisfaction.

Women coming in to Thailand for neighbouring countries also being married by Thais and foreigners ?

Larger numbers of Thai men than women leaving Thailand / marrying outside Thailand ?

Sorry if this seems a little off-topic, but factors like this must affect the dynamics of village relationships.

One also wonders about the effects on Thai culture in villages into which large numbers of foreigners are moving.

Just curious, I remember reading a statistic many years ago that by the age of 50 there is 3 women for every man in Thailand, that the men die off from accidents, murder, heart disease, in greater rates and earlier than the women. Is this a faulty memory, an old statistic, anyone know?

[newworks]

When will people realize that people are people everywhere. Humans are complicated, unpredictable, and generally unreliable.

I come from a poor family, my father drank and spent his money on himself, beat my mother and me and my siblings. I wanted a better life. I left home and worked, joined the Army for a warm place to sleep. Somewhere along the line I got a GED and then met my first wife who came from a relitively stable family. I increased my status by marrying her and eventually graduated from college. The college I went to was a small unknown school and I was constantly reminded that it was not one of the top schools by my colleges. I achieved a measure of success as a sales engineer entertaining a bunch of stupid, fat men who had very large egos and very small brains. so I can relate to BG's. I fail to see the difference between what I did and what they do and the reasons behind it. Anyone who dosen't think status is an issue in the states has never been to a cocktail party.

Frankly, I really don't care what people think of me. The older I get the less I care about fitting in anywhere. hel_l I don't fit in in my own town why would I care what thai's think of me. I've learned a few words but I realized I just don't have the motivation. This is not because I dislike thai people, I do. I respect them because they are just like me and all the people I've ever known. If I learned the language, what would we talk about? World affairs?

One of my best friends used to tell me "you can marry more money in five minuets than you can make in a lifetime" he was right and he did. he's been happily married for almost twenty years. He calls himself a professional husband. He and his wife have one of the few good relationships I know of because they communicate, have common goals, keep their promises, and they like eachother. Same thing that works everywhere.

I have a TG and I adore her. She makes me laugh, She sings all the time, works hard, and is proud to be both isain and Thai. I am very proud of her she is number two in her college. We had many long conversations about what we want out of life and a relationship before we made any commitment. I replaced the income she was earning working long hours in an electronics factory. I learned a long time ago how to say no to unreasonable requests for money from my own siblings who can't seem to get a grip.

I went to her village and could not understand a word, but I could clearly see the respect that everyone that I met has for her. They don't respect her because she's with a farang, they respect her for the same reasons I do. She has made good choices in life and is managing herself with intregity. The house she grew up in is a typical thai stilt house. Her grandmother was born in it, but Her room looks like a typical girls room in the west. Her family has invested a lot in her.

I have been in Thailand for a year and met many different people good and bad. I feel like I've met them all before.

pithy and excellent post, sir. i wish you all the best in your life here, and hope to see you more in the fora here. :-)

[bannork]

As a general rule I would say give working class poorly educated people in Thailand an inch and they will take a mile. You better be damned sure you speak Thai and understand the greed, jealousy and ignorance that exists in a lot of lower class rural communities before you settle in to your wedded bliss.

Just the facts ma'am.

JJ.

exactly.

I never understand these sentiments expressed above but perhaps I've just been lucky with my family, 2 brothers-in-law who are excellent electricians, plasterers and general builders who have never asked for more than the average wage. My wife's extended family must cover about 20 people, there's 2 people in that group I wouldn't do business with but the wife had pointed out their failings long before.

I loved Issan years before I met my wife so living there has never been a problem, it may be different for farangs living away from Issan who move there when they retire, following the wife rather than finding the wife there.

If you observe your beloved and her family in their natural habitat one should be able to estimate the possibilities of mutual happiness.

Uneducated certainly doesn't mean unintelligent and greed can be found everywhere.

I agree though a good understanding of Thai is essential and in Issan the Issan dialect too.

[Thaddeus]

Uneducated certainly doesn't mean unintelligent and greed can be found everywhere.

I agree though a good understanding of Thai is essential and in Issan the Issan dialect too.

Indeed..... I have always said that education is no substitute for intelligence.

And as a general rule, it's usually not a good idea to make general rules.

[Martin]

I try to use 'schooling', when that is all that is meant.

Somebody once said (and I remember not who, even if I ever 'knew' it): "Your education is what you have left after you have forgotton all the teaching by your parents, schoolteachers and other instructors."

I take it that that means what you have learnt/used/modified/re-used till it has become part of you.

The idea that a person has to have been schooled for certain positions, and that that is basically enough, is a very modern one. In my younger days, lots of jobs were still advertised as requiring "university graduate or equivalent".

(Which reminds me of the firm that advertised and said it wanted "Cambridge graduate or equivalent" and received a query as to which equivalent it would prefer: two Oxford graduates, or a graduate from Aberdeen, Edinbugh, Wales or Manchester half-time.)

There was a whole scad of specifications of "experience after lower-level schooling" that were recognised as graduate-equivalent in different walks of life.

And, in 1959, I carefully omitted that I was a graduate, when applying for the best and highest-paid job that I ever had. That was because I had been told that the firm (who were recruiting for the manning of the North American arctic radar stations) reckoned graduates didn't 'fit', and their applications didn't survive the preliminary 'sieve'.

(If you want the full story, put "Nineteen months in retrospect" into Google Search.)

I have been puzzled by the way that Thailand seems fixated on formal schooling attendances, when there are so many people who never had the chance, but clearly would have succeeded if they had done so. It may be something to do with 'high ups' in a hierarchical society, as opposed to a meritocracy, wanting to keep the good jobs for their own children.

[WaiWai]

Just curious, I remember reading a statistic many years ago that by the age of 50 there is 3 women for every man in Thailand, that the men die off from accidents, murder, heart disease, in greater rates and earlier than the women. Is this a faulty memory, an old statistic, anyone know?

Found some statistics at http://web.nso.go.th/eng/stat/gender/gender.htm , but haven't had time to examine them.

[Martin]

Thanks to 'WaiWai".

It looks as if there are about 90 men aged over 50 to every 100 women who are aged over 50.

However, my impression is that the widows or divorcees, who 'could do with having a husband' is much greater than the number of single older men who 'might take a wife'.

The latter seem to be a bit more likely to be 'doing quite nicely' being looked after by children and grandchildren in their extended family.

It would take detailed studies, questioning individual people, to get a useful picture.

Trying to see what is 'happening on the ground' through the fog of statistics seen from on high is fraught.

When somebody said "Lies, damned lies, and statistics", I think they were pointing out that statistics can trap us into thinking things that are untrue.

All praise to Professor Buapuanyap for getting out there and enquiring, not just re-re-researching other people's writings about what earlier people had written, as so many academics make a comfortable (but, fundamentally, parasitic on the taxpayer) life out of doing.

[sting01]

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and foreign men are better received in Thai communities, a recent study has revealed, with northeastern villagers in particular praising their foreign sons-in-law for better supporting their new Thai family.

So the point is : foreign husband pay better?

Btw us gentlemen, did you choose your spouse because you supposed she would be a great mother, a good wife, or (sorry be crude) because she was the queen of the B.J.? Or did you choose her because you were wishing to improve the economic prosperity of the North East of Thailand?

Look like somewhere we are simply the cashcows, at least it's how I feel when reading this article.

[Thaddeus]

Edited to remove duplicated post ...... thank you IPStar, thank you very much.

Edited September 2, 2006 by Thaddeus

[Thaddeus]

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and foreign men are better received in Thai communities, a recent study has revealed, with northeastern villagers in particular praising their foreign sons-in-law for better supporting their new Thai family.

So the point is : foreign husband pay better?

Btw us gentlemen, did you choose your spouse because you supposed she would be a great mother, a good wife, or (sorry be crude) because she was the queen of the B.J.? Or did you choose her because you were wishing to improve the economic prosperity of the North East of Thailand?

Look like somewhere we are simply the cashcows, at least it's how I feel when reading this article.

Sorry for the late response..... Just had to take a neighbours baby boy to the klee-nic (he kee all night)...... actually, I didn't have too, I didn't feel obliged to, but that is what people like Martin, myself and several thousand other ex-pats do on a regular basis. Try being nice to people, it's amazing what you get back in return.

If you feel like a cash cow after reading this thread, then you probably already were before you read it.

[Schooner]

As I have already posted, I don't really care what the thai people think of me. I came to Thailand and met this wonderful woman and fell in love. That's what matters. Her grandmother raised her and I think she did a very good job. Also there is a "monk uncle" who was a very positive influence in her life. She was raised by her grand parents because her mother already had three children. I figure I'm doing them a favor by making a small contrabution but staying away. My relationship is with my GF not her family or the village. I completly support her relationship with them.

I grew up in Maine which for decades was a vacationland for people "from away" We waited every year for the summer when the money would poar in. People would come, hire locals to build expensive homes, stay for a month or two and then go back to "away" this was a sutible arrangement for 100 years. A win win. I remember my father and grandfather talking about how "outsiders" were ruining the place. How stupid these people were for buying and building on the coast where no local would want to be. The locals were always polite to the "flatlanders" and happy to work for them and enjoy the money they brought. The locals were also very happy to say good bye at the end of the summer and have the place back to ourselves.

Now for the past 20 years or so the people "from away" want to stay. They've ruined the place they came from and now they want to live in a place where "life is as it should be" (really, thats on a sign at the state line ) whatever that means. They want to be "like us" and stay and bring there "funny" ideas with them like trash collection. The most popular social gathering spot for men was always the dump on Saturday. We couldn't understand why they wanted to live among us and act like us because we really don't like ourselves and were all thinking that if we were smart we would get the hel_l out of here.

We were all there not by choice, but by birth and that carried a certain morbid social connection. We reveled in our hardship, wore "I survived the ice storm of "93 and If you didn't suffer thru the winter you don't deserve the summer" t-shirts with pride. A bunch us even held a banner at the boarder that said "Welcome to Maine please leave your money here and GO HOME"

Obviously none of it worked and we now have to share the place with these "funny" people from "away" All the "dumps" are gone now and we have to recycle. I for one would like to change the sign at the boarder to "Maine, not the way life used to be"

We are all afraid of what we don't understand and really don't like change.