Why can they not look after things.

[alanrchase]

Talked to my university educated son about similar things. His answer was maybe you die tomorrow so why bother.

[BigT73]

hey marko soz to hear bout ur situation but ur as funny as fk I nearly fell off the balcony laughing at some of your comments, I work in aussie and fly back and forth all the time you forget sometimes how expensive it is to live there. A holiday in Pattaya may do u the world of good.

[northernphil]

you have a bad experience with your wife and paint all thais with the same brush. a bizarre jump in logic.

this is a small domestic issue. get over it and build yourself a shed.

He couldn't paint all Thais with the same brush ; his wife used the brush to clean the hongnam then flushed the dirty brush away.

[CharlieH]

In my experience when you reach a certain age, you may not necessarily know what you want, but you sure as hell know what you dont want.

Its not easy to make some decisions, it takes courage and the will to shake it off, dust yourself down, and start again, none of which gets any easier as you get older, in fact I suggest it gets harder to do the older you are. If a situation is difficult at 65 (example) imagine how scared and uncertain you will feel if things get worse and your 75, that, I would think would be frightening. That's why its important to get and feel settled with the people around you, or move on, before finances/health and age mean you are stuck ! and have to put up with whatever is dished out because you have little or no choice.

[manarak]

Talked to my university educated son about similar things. His answer was maybe you die tomorrow so why bother.

yup... the other extreme being Europe, where everyone acts as if he was immortal, i.e. mortgages over 40 years, excessively long pans for everything and excessive precautions.

[alanrchase]

Talked to my university educated son about similar things. His answer was maybe you die tomorrow so why bother.

yup... the other extreme being Europe, where everyone acts as if he was immortal, i.e. mortgages over 40 years, excessively long pans for everything and excessive precautions.

Get your point. A happy median between the two? Reminded of company cars, very hepful to get the job done, everyone abused them because they weren't paying for them, moaned if they broke down. Go figure.

[Estrada]

Marko, I like you more and more every day and I sympathise with you.

Same things happen with me.

The only difference not only they don't take care of my things they borrow, but they never return them back.

I quickly realised 30 years ago, that Thais think "borrow" means "give me, don't expect it back and don't even ask me to lend it back to you". They will also tell you "What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own". And if they break it, you have to fix it and give it back to them.

Edited March 26, 2015 by Estrada

[thaiguzzi]

Only read the 1st page. "Love taking money from Thai people". "Don't invest anything here except in a tv and a scooter". <deleted>? Have a nice day. Enjoy your stay here. Jeez.

I have my full workshop facilities here, brought over from the UK, in two purpose built insulated 20' containers. That's a full machine shop inc. lathe, mill, shaper, T&CG, mig welder, grinder, linisher etc etc, and a Snap On roll cab and top chest full of quality brand name hand tools inc aforementioned Snap On. I made the ground rules, everyone saw how i treat my tools, and after a couple of minor irritations at first a decade ago, everybody understands the ground rules and abides by them. BIL will borrow half a dozen Snap On spanners to work on his Wave, he brings them back, AND wipes them down and clean. He tells me he's returned them, and i put them back in their allotted space, as he's a bit wary of mixing whitworth with metric. It's just understanding and respect from both sides, and no laziness is tolerated.

[romeijoe]

these sort of things used to send me crazy-- it was a long time before my wife ( thai of course ) got it into her head that we farang have a different view on how we take care of our belongings, in the end even she found that my going off the edge because my tools or my esky or my money had been lent to the family , was just not worth the hassle in the end , these days nothing goes out of our home any more! mind you that took a few years of me having to go off quite often -------------- all good now,, but im still having a go at them all because i dislike the way furniture is treated lol but all in all i would rather these little problems as that is all they are--- than having to live in auss ( no way )

[thaiguzzi]

Re the OP's relationship's with his wife and her family, ya gotta check things out first, before investing time and money here. When i moved here in 2003, i was still madly in love with my girlfriend who i'd only met 3 times on holidays here, who has now been my wife for nearly 10 years, i lived with the MIL for 18 months in her house, checked everything and everyone out, daily lives, work rates, lifestyles etc. Then i decided to stop the daily party lifestyle i'd been living, and start investing in a house and business for us, and only then. The phrase mother like daughter is a good one, and my MIL who has had a hard life, is one of the greatest human beings i've ever met. Anywhere. So there was a good clue. Father had run off when the missus was 7. Stepfather was useless, and got chucked out of the house around 2005, after being pretty much useless the previous 12-15 years. Stepfather number 2 turns up about two years later, and he turned out to be, again, a fantastic human being and character. I loved him to bits, as we all did, and miss him immensely, he died in 2013. Maybe i'm just lucky or maybe i did some checking out first.

[manarak]

Talked to my university educated son about similar things. His answer was maybe you die tomorrow so why bother.

yup... the other extreme being Europe, where everyone acts as if he was immortal, i.e. mortgages over 40 years, excessively long pans for everything and excessive precautions.

Get your point. A happy median between the two? Reminded of company cars, very hepful to get the job done, everyone abused them because they weren't paying for them, moaned if they broke down. Go figure.

Yes, a happy median would be so much better, both for Thailand and for Europe.

[alanrchase]

May be wrong but seems a bit of a fact of life everywhere. If people get things for free and assume it will be replaced for free they do not bother to look after it.

[Derek M]

OP..you could stick the fil in the hut/cell stick him on and switch on a treadmill be dead in no time!

T.I.T mate. Me <deleted> tired of my GF and mother of our daughter thinking for herself. Played her out scenario this year, which is certainly true one due to having to retain large sums of money in Thai account to get year long visa, and leave large sums abroad while Euro dwindles.

Scenario: The babys innoculations or her finishing high school diploma (10 years late I may add. 26)

Don't need to tell you guys/gals on TV what she chose! (to study and finish M6)

Not bad her family who are many, and not poor do have money can loan her the money to do both all refuse point blank. I could loan her of course but why when a loan here is a gift! and when she refuses to find two cosigners to a loan contract.

Christ when we engaged 3 years 23 years old hot and wanted nothing and asked for nothing (all she got was free rent and bills inexchange for her getting food) 53Kg now 3 years on 26 and 75kg and counting! and demands a salary!

Nah, not into this rent a wife scheme or the think of oneself only attitude Is n't budhism about letting go of ego and thinking of others?

[sir charles IV]

Another "they" post. The longer it take u to adapt to thai ways the more you will be uncomfortable. Try not to put so much distance as at the end of they its their country their culture and their way.

[sir charles IV]

"End of the day"

[alanrchase]

Another "they" post. The longer it take u to adapt to thai ways the more you will be uncomfortable. Try not to put so much distance as at the end of they its their country their culture and their way.

How much money are you willing to part with to adapt? Bit of a generalization but seems quite common.

[manarak]

Another "they" post. The longer it take u to adapt to thai ways the more you will be uncomfortable. Try not to put so much distance as at the end of they its their country their culture and their way.

Adapt to the educated Thai culture and it will still be "they".

"they" doesn't designate Thais, it stands for a certain subset of them.

[sir charles IV]

Another "they" post. The longer it take u to adapt to thai ways the more you will be uncomfortable. Try not to put so much distance as at the end of they its their country their culture and their way.

Adapt to the educated Thai culture and it will still be "they".

"they" doesn't designate Thais, it stands for a certain subset of them.

read ur reply twice and still can't make any sense out of it. Lol see now ur being specific to a demography. On the right track.

[dotpoom]

Similar things happened to me, including lending my pick-up to my wife's son only to discover that he had driven to Khon Kaen from Bang Saray with virtually no water in the radiator and cracked the head.

I now have different exceptions....I come from a 1st world country and was expecting the same standards here. Having said that in many other areas I am very glad I am not living in a 1st world country.

[Cypress Hill]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Do not marry these women, they will drain the life out of you.

You're (OP and a few "lucky ones") just another example of why Thai women and falang's simply do.not.mix.

Get out ASAP.

Rubbish!

Although I'm a confirmed bachelor, I know foreign guys who've married some truly outstanding Thai women.

The difference between them and those with tales of woe or stupid, outmoded opinions on local women is that they didn't grub around the bottom of the barrel while 3 sheets to the wind in a bar.

As someone else said, it's all in the selection process.

Stupid men - young and old - come here and do less due diligence on the women they shack up with than they'd do buying a second-hand car and then complain they're life-sucking leeches.

[alanrchase]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Do not marry these women, they will drain the life out of you.

You're (OP and a few "lucky ones") just another example of why Thai women and falang's simply do.not.mix.

Get out ASAP.

Rubbish!

Although I'm a confirmed bachelor, I know foreign guys who've married some truly outstanding Thai women.

The difference between them and those with tales of woe or stupid, outmoded opinions on local women is that they didn't grub around the bottom of the barrel while 3 sheets to the wind in a bar.

As someone else said, it's all in the selection process.

Stupid men - young and old - come here and do less due diligence on the women they shack up with than they'd do buying a second-hand car and then complain they're life-sucking leeches.

Due diligence on choosing a wife is a bit hit and miss. Over time various influences can change attitudes and lead to conflict. If I had my life over again and was cynical I would only marry an orphan with no siblings

[HooHaa]

put in storeroom, lock door, complain not.

[Squeegee]

Re the OP's relationship's with his wife and her family, ya gotta check things out first, before investing time and money here. When i moved here in 2003, i was still madly in love with my girlfriend who i'd only met 3 times on holidays here, who has now been my wife for nearly 10 years, i lived with the MIL for 18 months in her house, checked everything and everyone out, daily lives, work rates, lifestyles etc. Then i decided to stop the daily party lifestyle i'd been living, and start investing in a house and business for us, and only then. The phrase mother like daughter is a good one, and my MIL who has had a hard life, is one of the greatest human beings i've ever met. Anywhere. So there was a good clue. Father had run off when the missus was 7. Stepfather was useless, and got chucked out of the house around 2005, after being pretty much useless the previous 12-15 years. Stepfather number 2 turns up about two years later, and he turned out to be, again, a fantastic human being and character. I loved him to bits, as we all did, and miss him immensely, he died in 2013. Maybe i'm just lucky or maybe i did some checking out first.

You quoted my words directly "only a scooter" and reacted to them from your own point of view, which is rather unimaginative.

I think you have been lucky but also you have been smart, and respect is due for that, however not everyone came here for love or women. I came purely for work and never had an intention of staying long term, so why should I invest here? My saying I will not invest caused you to swear. Ridiculous.

Nice you sorted out what you want, but others don't always want the same as you.

[robertson468]

I think you just summed up what Thailand is all about.

Another Thai Basher! There are lots of people all over the World who fail to respect the property of others.............take off your blinkers!

[nidieunimaitre]

I think you just summed up what Thailand is all about.

Another Thai Basher! There are lots of people all over the World who fail to respect the property of others.............take off your blinkers!

There is corruption in other countries too, therefore we can not complain about corruption in Thailand.

In other countries there are people who fail to respect the property of others, therefore we can not complain about this happening in Thailand.

In which country do you live?

Are you saying that we can not complain about bad things that happen in Thailand?

OR

Are you saying that on THAI visa forum we should complain only about bad things that happen in The Ukraine? (no, I am not generalizing, I know that there is a difference between east and west Ukraine, and that the good people of east Ukraine should not be held responsible for the bad people of west Ukraine, and vv, and then there is also north Ukraine, a completely different region).

[laobali]

To be honest ,i am really thinking of getting out,3 years now,and not real happy,fine before Nosferatu moved in.i have offered to put him up in another house,near the temple,but,my wife is worried as he cannot cook or clean,how he can live there,i have to resolve this somehow,but of course it will be against all logic,that i have to leave,her father stays,and they have no money apart from the meagre income from the shop,and then blame it all on the Falang jai dam,i give up.

You're only 3 years down the line? I managed 15 (7 TH, 8 LA) before accepting I could never really adapt and be happy to integrate with the social system i.e. partner's family - and got out. Best move I ever made.

[transam]

If folk never used THEIR money to buy "whatever", then it doesn't matter, if it was THEIR money, anything will be like gold...

[alanrchase]

To be honest ,i am really thinking of getting out,3 years now,and not real happy,fine before Nosferatu moved in.i have offered to put him up in another house,near the temple,but,my wife is worried as he cannot cook or clean,how he can live there,i have to resolve this somehow,but of course it will be against all logic,that i have to leave,her father stays,and they have no money apart from the meagre income from the shop,and then blame it all on the Falang jai dam,i give up.

You're only 3 years down the line? I managed 15 (7 TH, 8 LA) before accepting I could never really adapt and be happy to integrate with the social system i.e. partner's family - and got out. Best move I ever made.

26 years, recently retired and getting a bit narked with constant requests to help the family. Couple of thousand baht now and again is ok. Hundred thousand is taking the pi*s.

[transam]

To be honest ,i am really thinking of getting out,3 years now,and not real happy,fine before Nosferatu moved in.i have offered to put him up in another house,near the temple,but,my wife is worried as he cannot cook or clean,how he can live there,i have to resolve this somehow,but of course it will be against all logic,that i have to leave,her father stays,and they have no money apart from the meagre income from the shop,and then blame it all on the Falang jai dam,i give up.

You're only 3 years down the line? I managed 15 (7 TH, 8 LA) before accepting I could never really adapt and be happy to integrate with the social system i.e. partner's family - and got out. Best move I ever made.

26 years, recently retired and getting a bit narked with constant requests to help the family. Couple of thousand baht now and again is ok. Hundred thousand is taking the pi*s.

Don't do it............

[alanrchase]

To be honest ,i am really thinking of getting out,3 years now,and not real happy,fine before Nosferatu moved in.i have offered to put him up in another house,near the temple,but,my wife is worried as he cannot cook or clean,how he can live there,i have to resolve this somehow,but of course it will be against all logic,that i have to leave,her father stays,and they have no money apart from the meagre income from the shop,and then blame it all on the Falang jai dam,i give up.

You're only 3 years down the line? I managed 15 (7 TH, 8 LA) before accepting I could never really adapt and be happy to integrate with the social system i.e. partner's family - and got out. Best move I ever made.

26 years, recently retired and getting a bit narked with constant requests to help the family. Couple of thousand baht now and again is ok. Hundred thousand is taking the pi*s.

Don't do it............

Just refused to pay.