next up Thai creole..

I believe some guys think they are actually communicating, when using baby talk pidgin.

Not only can than not learn Thai, they make it impossible for their Thai partner to progress in their ability to learn english.

I had one man offer to assist me, when I was trying to ask a cute store clerk where I could purchase socks and sandals,

I let him cut in, and he started this moronic type of baby talk (not one thai word).

"he looky looky...need sandal....socky socky shore. him looky long time. no?

Perhaps the man wanted me to believe he had gone native.... ten years, not a word in thai.

"Why for you kick my dog ? He bark you ?

its catchy, sometimes its hard not too. im same as i mock others. i really am going to get off my fat a rse and learn the language proper.

That's the way to go. Learn the Language and enjoy understanding the Thai. ?

I think it all depends on your understanding of the language, as it has been described to you from the beginning. And the mixture of languages that follow The below is what a "friend" received, quite easy to understand really........................

Dear Tilac,

I love and miss you so much. Now I have big pomprem. I tell you before that my buffalo me sick. Now it die. Fall down dead in middle of rice field. but, when it fall, it land on Papa and break him leg in three places. Now he not work.

Brother me make stretcher from bamboo he take from loof of house. Now roof collapse and rain get in house. Brother she take Papa to hospital on motocycle. She have accident coming home. Run into police car. Brother me to blame. Police say we have to pay big money.

Motocycle OK. Police car no good. Now give Mama have heart pomprem. Doctor say she need triple bypass. I not understand what is, he say you know. If you not help me I have to go with many, many farang to pay bill. The old people in my village in Roi-et say it all your fault. If you give me money to buy medicine for sick buffalo when I ask you, then it not die, Papa not break leg, house still have loof, brother not ride into police car and Mama not have heart pomprem.

Please send for me 200,000 baht for my bank.

Papa fix: 10,000,

new loof:30,000,

New police car 100,000:

Mama fix:50,000.

I take off 2,000 bht for sell buffalo meat, but have to pay more hospital bill for 24 people have pomprem eat no good meat - 12,000bht. I not know money England but my friend me say it about 30.59875 baht. This mean you send me 65,000 English money. Big money for me, little money for you.

I love you too much long time. Tikka

When we first met walking round Pattaya I asked the gf, "are you hungry" She replies."lateron"

OK we'll eat later on then. This happens a couple more times until I reply, "I'm hungry, fancy a restaurant (lateron)" DOH!

Seven years later this afternoon in BiG C she wants some Lits biscuits! Eh? Oh Ritz!

Another gem from the song, "She don't like, she don't like OK?"

I remember Mrs Baboon bringing back some plastic socket plugs to prevent Baboon Jr. from sticking her fingers in for a laugh.

"That was a good buy", I commented.

" Why, where are you going" she asked..

I think it all depends on your understanding of the language, as it has been described to you from the beginning. And the mixture of languages that follow The below is what a "friend" received, quite easy to understand really........................

Dear Tilac,

I love and miss you so much. Now I have big pomprem. I tell you before that my buffalo me sick. Now it die. Fall down dead in middle of rice field. but, when it fall, it land on Papa and break him leg in three places. Now he not work.

Brother me make stretcher from bamboo he take from loof of house. Now roof collapse and rain get in house. Brother she take Papa to hospital on motocycle. She have accident coming home. Run into police car. Brother me to blame. Police say we have to pay big money.

Motocycle OK. Police car no good. Now give Mama have heart pomprem. Doctor say she need triple bypass. I not understand what is, he say you know. If you not help me I have to go with many, many farang to pay bill. The old people in my village in Roi-et say it all your fault. If you give me money to buy medicine for sick buffalo when I ask you, then it not die, Papa not break leg, house still have loof, brother not ride into police car and Mama not have heart pomprem.

Please send for me 200,000 baht for my bank.

Papa fix: 10,000,

new loof:30,000,

New police car 100,000:

Mama fix:50,000.

I take off 2,000 bht for sell buffalo meat, but have to pay more hospital bill for 24 people have pomprem eat no good meat - 12,000bht. I not know money England but my friend me say it about 30.59875 baht. This mean you send me 65,000 English money. Big money for me, little money for you.

I love you too much long time. Tikka

Please, please tell me you are joking..

In the North(Chiang Mai,Lampang,Lampun ,etc) there is no use of the letter "R", Its Chiang Lai, My Pen Lai, Lot Na, as a few examples. Just go with the flow I guess,Am I light or Long?

My wife understands my Thai as long as I stick with the fricative infundibular tense and leave out the corpuscular impecations.

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I think it all depends on your understanding of the language, as it has been described to you from the beginning. And the mixture of languages that follow The below is what a "friend" received, quite easy to understand really........................

Dear Tilac,
I love and miss you so much. Now I have big pomprem. I tell you before that my buffalo me sick. Now it die. Fall down dead in middle of rice field. but, when it fall, it land on Papa and break him leg in three places. Now he not work.

Brother me make stretcher from bamboo he take from loof of house. Now roof collapse and rain get in house. Brother she take Papa to hospital on motocycle. She have accident coming home. Run into police car. Brother me to blame. Police say we have to pay big money.

Motocycle OK. Police car no good. Now give Mama have heart pomprem. Doctor say she need triple bypass. I not understand what is, he say you know. If you not help me I have to go with many, many farang to pay bill. The old people in my village in Roi-et say it all your fault. If you give me money to buy medicine for sick buffalo when I ask you, then it not die, Papa not break leg, house still have loof, brother not ride into police car and Mama not have heart pomprem.

Please send for me 200,000 baht for my bank.
Papa fix: 10,000,
new loof:30,000,
New police car 100,000:
Mama fix:50,000.
I take off 2,000 bht for sell buffalo meat, but have to pay more hospital bill for 24 people have pomprem eat no good meat - 12,000bht. I not know money England but my friend me say it about 30.59875 baht. This mean you send me 65,000 English money. Big money for me, little money for you.

I love you too much long time. Tikka

Please, please tell me you are joking..

Sleep easy tonight, yes, I'm joking.......................

The exchange rate was considerably different.......................

Shortly after coming to LoS in 2005 my gf was with me on our way back from a border run, I had a touch of the squits and we all know what the toilets are like at the petrol stops. I have never liked squat bogs and if I have to use one I take every thing off as taking a dump down the back of yer jeans id not a good look.

I said " Me toilet quick ! " My gf said " OK we share " " er I don't think so " said I

What she had in mind wasn't " We share " But Wheelchair, Yes the cublicle for the disabled . Oh how I chortled after ............afterwards.

I have noticed in similar times of emergency potty distress my Thai companions of the time seem to feign even greater non-understanding of my needs.

I think it's part of thecunning Thai humour and sense of fun

In the North(Chiang Mai,Lampang,Lampun ,etc) there is no use of the letter "R", Its Chiang Lai, My Pen Lai, Lot Na, as a few examples. Just go with the flow I guess,Am I light or Long?

R or L is not so important.

It is the addition of baby voice or staccato voice that makes it an issue