Do You Live In A Thai Village Full Time

[TBWG]

This is a great thread. How come it jumped from 2007-2010, did I miss something????

Time Warp!

TBWG

[TBWG]

Hi folks

Ring of fire........................

Well finally back in Thailand after a few months in the UK watching the economy go down the tubes, (but thats another story!)

Anyway, I want to get some sun on my back and some Phad Thai in my belly, so when the "boss lady" suggests a trip to try out a new restaurant for her Som Tam fix I am up for it.

So half way through and all of a sudden I am getting that uneasy feeling in the stomach and need a visit to the loo, the boss lady assures me that being a new place the toilet should at least be passable. Well no problems there a European type loo and a door that locks, that's progress!

Well after doing the business so to speak I reach for the loo paper, eh, none of it, only one of the bum squirter jobs. Having been caught out by these in the past I decide to remove my shorts and boxers to avoid walking around for half an hour with a wet arse after poor directional control.

Feeling smug, I now proceed to wash the offending area, no problems ....<deleted>!!!! all of a sudden I have super-heated, scalding water forced at about 45 PSI up my anus, sheesh, that smarts!

What I neglected to make allowance for was the fact that the water had been festering for many hours in the direct sunlight in god know's how many metres of that blue plastic tube just waiting for some sucker to expose his delicate parts for a steam cleaning. Cor, that was painfull!

I now gingerly made my way back to the table and finished my meal standing up, whilst explaining to the boss lady as to why was I squealing like a stuck pig and <deleted> and blinding like a trooper whilst I was in the loo!

So a lesson learned the hard way .... in future send the missus in first!

TBWG

[cardholder]

David,

A few of us believe that it is not the first time you have had 45 PSI up the back passage !

[TBWG]

David,

A few of us believe that it is not the first time you have had 45 PSI up the back passage !

Lets keep that as our little secret!

TBWG

[cardholder]

David,

A few of us believe that it is not the first time you have had 45 PSI up the back passage !

Lets keep that as our little secret!

TBWG

Aw Bugger ! I have just had a shout on SF

[TBWG]

David,

A few of us believe that it is not the first time you have had 45 PSI up the back passage !

Lets keep that as our little secret!

TBWG

Aw Bugger ! I have just had a shout on SF

Hmm

I hope the phrase Aw bugger! has nothing to do with my back passage!

TBWG

[coxhoedave]

It's great that this thread has been resurrected after a 4 year gap. Hope you guys out in the sticks keep the thread alive! Compulsive reading and bloody brilliant!!!

[TBWG]

It's great that this thread has been resurrected after a 4 year gap. Hope you guys out in the sticks keep the thread alive! Compulsive reading and bloody brilliant!!!

Well folks I can roll out some old material which hasn't seen the light of day on this forum. Let me know if you would like some more!!

Doggy Fashion

Recently whilst having a pleasant lunch with a few friends, we had to witness some impromptu entertainment that was definitely not on the managements agenda, or if it was we were not charged for it!

It did however get me thinking about the phrase "doggy style".

Anyway to set the scene a large mangy mongrel was hanging around the restaurant presumably in the hope of getting some scraps. However he was promptly sent on his way, only to suddenly reappear with his little girlfriend in tow, when I say little I mean about a third his size.

He now proceeded to do what only dogs can do. i.e. mount his little bitch in public in broad daylight and without any fear of reprisals from the authorities, he did get a bowl full of water for his troubles from the restaurant staff but this did not dampen his ardour.

Now being a middle class UK lad opportunities for watching dogs shagging were few and far between in my neck of the woods so I assumed doggy style was in fact doggy style! But no these two were now locked ar*e to ar*e together, the little bitch barely touching the ground.

Now for humans to engage in such an act would necessitate the male being hung like a donkey with a universal joint in the middle of his todger (so from now on I think I will call it horsey fashion).

Well to get back to the dog coupling, apart from being chased by the staff two other dogs appear on the scene trying to get in on the action, this results in some serious skirmishing between all 3 male dogs, all the while the little bitch is attached to her partners nether regions and is either being swung around in an arc or bounced around like a ball under the flailing dogs.

I now assume that the mangy dog decides that possession is 99% of the law and takes off at speed dragging his little bitch along backwards behind him with feet occasionally touching the ground.

All of this to applause from the diners and relief from restaurant staff.

Don't you just love Thailand!

TBWG

[Dave the Dude]

Aw Bugger ! I have just had a shout on SF

His 'Backwards' sense of humour has been noted there(and missed)!

[cardholder]

It's great that this thread has been resurrected after a 4 year gap. Hope you guys out in the sticks keep the thread alive! Compulsive reading and bloody brilliant!!!

Well folks I can roll out some old material which hasn't seen the light of day on this forum. Let me know if you would like some more!!

Doggy Fashion

Recently whilst having a pleasant lunch with a few friends, we had to witness some impromptu entertainment that was definitely not on the managements agenda, or if it was we were not charged for it!

It did however get me thinking about the phrase "doggy style".

Anyway to set the scene a large mangy mongrel was hanging around the restaurant presumably in the hope of getting some scraps. However he was promptly sent on his way, only to suddenly reappear with his little girlfriend in tow, when I say little I mean about a third his size.

He now proceeded to do what only dogs can do. i.e. mount his little bitch in public in broad daylight and without any fear of reprisals from the authorities, he did get a bowl full of water for his troubles from the restaurant staff but this did not dampen his ardour.

Now being a middle class UK lad opportunities for watching dogs shagging were few and far between in my neck of the woods so I assumed doggy style was in fact doggy style! But no these two were now locked ar*e to ar*e together, the little bitch barely touching the ground.

Now for humans to engage in such an act would necessitate the male being hung like a donkey with a universal joint in the middle of his todger (so from now on I think I will call it horsey fashion).

Well to get back to the dog coupling, apart from being chased by the staff two other dogs appear on the scene trying to get in on the action, this results in some serious skirmishing between all 3 male dogs, all the while the little bitch is attached to her partners nether regions and is either being swung around in an arc or bounced around like a ball under the flailing dogs.

I now assume that the mangy dog decides that possession is 99% of the law and takes off at speed dragging his little bitch along backwards behind him with feet occasionally touching the ground.

All of this to applause from the diners and relief from restaurant staff.

Don't you just love Thailand!

TBWG

TBWG - are you suggesting that this particular position is ONLY available in the Thai Doggy Kama Sutra ?

I must admit that my own experiences in the UK (of watching not participating ) brings about a vision of the traditional doggy-style that I CAN participate in.

The ar5e to ar5e thing was a bit of a surprise when I first saw it (but TIT) and it certainly does seem lock them together !

Were the Surrey TBWG's never exposed to "Dogging" ??????

[jazzbo]

Dog f-ck-ng... Definitely Isaan-related... Nice work.

[Dave the Dude]

Dog f-ck-ng... Definitely Isaan-related... Nice work.

All of this to applause from the diners and relief from restaurant staff.

Don't you just love Thailand!

From that, I assume this happened in Thailand (probably Satuk,Buriram)

Next!

[cardholder]

Dog f-ck-ng... Definitely Isaan-related... Nice work.

Thai dogs.

Thai restaurant.

Capiche ?

[alfieconn]

Feeling smug, I now proceed to wash the offending area, no problems ....<deleted>!!!! all of a sudden I have super-heated, scalding water forced at about 45 PSI up my anus, sheesh, that smarts!

TBWG

The hotter the water the better the clean so look on the positive side

[IsaanAussie]

I have been attracting a fair bit of attention with our new pig sty. With it comes the petty jealousy of the village lay abouts and even some determined efforts to stuff us up. With the ability to make life for others uncomfortable their only attribute, these clowns aren't to be taken lightly. They have no ambition to do or own anything and are a permanent drain on their families, friends and the village as a whole. So I decided to do something about it.

The idea came from a trip to the ATM at Tesco's. It was an unplanned visit but an opportunity to purchase a bit of kit that I had been looking for which suddenly was offered while I was working in the pig sty. Naturally it was then or never so I was dressed and probably smelt, appropriate to what I had been doing. As I walked into the building people started walked way, way around me and one exclaimed "A-Yar Farang Kee Nok" and on the spur of the moment I responded with "Mai chai, farang kee moo!" All around burst out laughing.

So putting the two issues together I decided to tell the "boys" back in the village the story. They fell about laughing and have called me farang kee moo ever since, always with a chuckle. But surprise, surprise, the jealousy glares have disappeared and so have the mutterings of trouble making. It seems if you present yourself as a lower form of life you can get their respect. I have found something in common with them at last, nice to fit in......

Isaanaussie

[jazzbo]

Capiche? Sure I capiche. So does Chubby:

Being A Dog In Thailand

[TBWG]

Well Folks

I have decided to bore you rigid with some of my inane ramblings ~~ its the least you deserve!

Mass murder

For the faint hearted this refers to mass toadicide so if you are of a nervous disposition read no further!

There was a strange offensive odour emanating from the corner of the garden, but then Thailand is full of strange pongs! so nothing unusual there.

However the electrics in the household were playing up so Mr Sparks the local electrician was called out as I was fed up with my hot (read warm) shower frequently turning into a cold shower half way through when the gubbins tripped and with the current cold spell that was no fun!

Our intrepid electrician soon discovered the cause, poor grounding with some of the juice leeching away to ground. This explains our recent high bills which I have been blaming on the Boss Lady for her extravagant use of her mobile charger.

Well the problem has now been solved by some rearranged wiring and 5 foot of brass rod being inserted into the sod. However a by product of this story is best part of 50 toads and frogs had been nuked by the current and I now have a mass graveyard at the base of said electric pole.

Not sure what the moral of this is other than be well grounded if you are not partial to being electrocuted!

TBWG

PS: I am contemplating plunging everyone into a coma by reporting details of my recent Laos trip, are you up for it?

[cardholder]

Well Folks

PS: I am contemplating plunging everyone into a coma by reporting details of my recent Laos trip, are you up for it?

David,

You have me on the edge of my seat already - Bring it on !!

[cardholder]

Capiche? Sure I capiche. So does Chubby:

Being A Dog In Thailand

Good effort - now THAT is irrefutably topical and Thailand related.

[TBWG]

Well Folks

PS: I am contemplating plunging everyone into a coma by reporting details of my recent Laos trip, are you up for it?

David,

You have me on the edge of my seat already - Bring it on !!

Well folks

I have decided to put the riveting Laos trip on the back burner for the time being whilst I continue the Canine theme...........

Having just replied to a thread regarding rabies on another forum I thought it would be worth repeating my experiences for the benefit of others, without being dramatic you never know one day it could save your life!

One night after a few bottles of that golden nectar Archa my senses were probably a bit numbed but whilst cycling home from the market when out of nowhere appeared a black shadow that bit through my crocs and drew blood from my little pinky.

The black shadow turned out to be a bloody great Rottweiler, who in truth could have probably removed a leg with equal ease!

The owner who was exercising it nearby now gave it a dang good thrashing with a big stick and took it to his nearby home, I followed at a safe distance to see where he lived and then pedaled off home as fast as my legs would go to get the Boss lady.

However, she insisted in washing said pinky and painting it with that brown gunk in a little yellow bottle before doing anything else, all the while muttering that I could not be trusted out unaccompanied after dark!

The boss lady informs me that if you are bitten by a dog the owner has to pay for any medication and you can apply to the local police and insist that the animal is put down. Now as it happened at the time we owned a pooch, yes you have guessed it ~~~ a rottweiler and I happen to believe that they are very intelligent and not naturally aggressive unless trained to be or badly treated. Next to the boss lady, Lizzie my rotti is my next favorite bitch!

I did not want to be responsible for having the animal put down but was concerned about the fact that this guy was exercising the dog next to a school and we have all heard stories about pitbulls etc and kids!

So we paid the owner a visit and the boss lady gave him a verbal lashing, I felt a bit sorry for the guy he had just returned from Bangkok where he was finding it difficult to earn a living and was going to sell bananas to make his fortune!

Well after lots of wai-ing and groveling he agrees that he will not let said dog out unless on a leash and agrees to pay for any treatment I may have.

Now I am quiet relaxed I had had a tetanus jab a few months earlier and assume I have nothing to worry about, but just in case I PM a nurse on Thaivisa and ask her advice.

Next day I get a reply telling me to get my a**e down the hospital ASAP as if I left it untreated and the dog was a carrier my only other option was death!

She now puts the fear of God into me as she says a large proportion of dogs in Thailand are rabies carriers and even if the dog was well looked after it will almost certainly at sometime in its life have got out and mixed with soi dogs who could easily be carriers. Having seen some of the mangy flea bitten mutts in the area this is not hard to believe.

To be continued.........................

TBWG

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

Well folks

I have decided to put the riveting Laos trip on the back burner for the time being whilst I continue the Canine theme...........

If I'm going to be bored, let it be Laos, please!

[billd766]

Well folks

I have decided to put the riveting Laos trip on the back burner for the time being whilst I continue the Canine theme...........

If I'm going to be bored, let it be Laos, please!

It is nice to read about people in other villages in rural Thailand and it is far nicer than living in a farang ghetto surrounded by high walls with broken glass on top, barbed wire and gated compounds.

[TBWG]

Hi guys

Rabies continued ~~~~~~~~~

Well having put the fear of God in me I begin to think about an incident many years ago.

My ex wifes sister worked for the charity Save The Children and along with her best friend was packed off to Bangladesh to set up health center. The best friend was bitten by a rabid child and had to undergo a series of anti rabies injections as part of the course. This involved a bloody great needle being inserted in the stomach which apparently is extremely painful. Now I have a very low threshold to pain and the thought of this does not appeal to me at all. However I was extremely relieved to hear that the treatment has progressed considerably and I would only feel a little prick!

As an aside the Rabies/treatment left the nurse with kidney damage and associated life long health problems.

So off I go to the local hospital with the Boss Lady who starts ordering people about and getting me instant attention. A very attractive female doctor who looks about 18 prescribes the necessary treatment and I kind of hope that she is going to jab me in the butt! No deal!

First you have got to pay for it and collect it from the in house pharmacy then go to emergency department to have it administered, all done and dusted in a couple of minutes.

However, now a problem you have to have the jab in a sequence (can't remember exactly) but something like another after 3 days then 7 days 14 days etc. Well I am off to Nong Khai on a visa run the next day and a few days break in Vientiane so have to take all the medication with me in a cool box and visit local clinics on the way! The next jab is due on a Sunday whilst in Nong Khai. Obviously people up there do not get ill at weekends as I find myself alone in the hospital emergency room apart from one other Thai gentleman sitting there holding the same meds as me.

Well this happened a year or so ago and I am still here so all is well, if however I had been bitten by a rabid dog and had not had any treatment, I was told it would take 90 days for the bacteria to make its way to my brain and upon arrival would turn me into a cabbage whilst suffering an extremely unpleasant demise.

The cost of the course of medication was just over Baht 2,000 from local gov't hospital (paid for by dog owner)

Moral ~~~ Where rabies is concerned better safe than dead!

TBWG

PS: Laos extravaganza to follow!

[TBWG]

Hi folks

Although this has no Thai connection, it could equally apply to Thai banks and I think we have all fallen foul of similar situations!

Anyway, it appeals to my schoolboy sense of humour and 'more power to old folks'!

A SENIOR MOMENT - An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanks him most sincerely.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, re-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1-- To make an appointment to see me.

2-- To query a missing payment.

3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorised Contact.)

8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8

9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an

establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

Addendum from The Editor:

IMPORTANT to REMEMBER that this letter was written by a 98 year old woman.

DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!!!

Great huh!

TBWG

PS Laos report to follow shortly

[enjoyinglife22]

First thanks to you guys so far for your very interesting input I want to praise you for intrigrating with the family:

Now having started the Topic I will tell you about my village life. I purposely waited for some input before adding mine.

Here goes then.

First here is a pic of me with the wife

Well moved into the village full time February 2005 when our house was completed. Then a lot of time was spent adding more fill and preparing for planting etc, To-date about 60 trees have been planted different varieties of Mango, coconuts, Tamarind. papaya and fruits I cant remember them all. THen we built a Gazebo, and a seperate car-port, and had the drive laid.

So now its general pottering around. Morning starts at about 5-30 am we both get up, Bee gets the rice on for Buddha and sometimes cooks a dish for the monks and takes some to here mum and dads , there house is about 200 metres away, yes they shout to each other.

I have my coffee first and wonder round the garden with my dog (German Shepherd). Any bits I want to do in the garden before it gets hot I get on with it, the house stands in just over 1 Rai walled in. I have turfed around the house then let the rest grow green naturally around the garden area, so I bought a 4 stroke strimmer and at the moment in the wet season the whole area needs strimming and I like to do this myself, I may do it over 2 days. Here is a pic of some of the area to strim

I also go to the farm and strim the grass that the cows cannot eat because it is course with irritating sharp bits on the top. In the morning after Bee has cooked and eaten she will clean the house. If I have nothing to do much we work together I clean the bathrooms or put the laundry on.

After all these choral things she will sleep I hit the 2nd Coffee then check emails etc. Sometimes the wife will be off seeing other cousins in the village for a chit chat, then I chill on here.

We go to the night market in Burriram whenever we need stuff and get supplies for us and her parents (At her parents house there is mum & dad grandad and two nieces) We also buy there meat for them and I pay there electric each month. My wife has a big family So i tel the wife that they must help as well financially and they do.

This year we aquired 13 Rai at the rear of our house so there has been that to sort this year.

I dont have many Farang friends, ( not by choice I might add) I have an american guy who has married into the family so we reckon somewhere along the line we might be distant cousins however many times removed lol.

Twikits a Supermkt in Burriram is very good for Farang bits and pieces and I am quite happy getting stuff there, again we go when we feel the need. Sometimes I dont go out the gate there is always something to do.

The other night we went to the Night Mkt then took her dad and a niece for BBQ very nice love it washed down with a bottle or two of leo.

Surin is only 25 clicks from our village and takes me about 30 mins, there we have Big 'C' Makro and Tesco Lotus, next Monday we are going and I will make my first visit to the Farang Connection.

Evenings well I might eat Thai food or Farang food, I have a Euroapean style kitchen so Shepherds pie or Roast dinner or Spagbol. What more could one want.

In the afternoon I might come on here then look some TV. In the evening I let Bee look Thai TV and I come back on here it keeps me in contact with the outside world.

Bedtime is normally about 9-30 pm thereabouts my wife wont go to bed untill I do bless her, she normally falls asleep on the settee.

Well I have not planned this write or scenario just typed things as I think of them.

To-Date This morning up normal time I cleaned the pick up in and out, Bee's dad came to borrow the m/c we ran into Huairat for bits and bobs then Bee got me Grapo moo Kai dow, aroi then I cam on here.

macb

..........................................................

Mac Broadbridge

55 Moo 6

Banthago Sub-District

Huairat

Burriram

Thailand

31000

Sounds wonderful... I live not to far from you... in Surin I'm always interested in meeting new people.

[enjoyinglife22]

First thanks to you guys so far for your very interesting input I want to praise you for intrigrating with the family:

Now having started the Topic I will tell you about my village life. I purposely waited for some input before adding mine.

Here goes then.

First here is a pic of me with the wife

Well moved into the village full time February 2005 when our house was completed. Then a lot of time was spent adding more fill and preparing for planting etc, To-date about 60 trees have been planted different varieties of Mango, coconuts, Tamarind. papaya and fruits I cant remember them all. THen we built a Gazebo, and a seperate car-port, and had the drive laid.

So now its general pottering around. Morning starts at about 5-30 am we both get up, Bee gets the rice on for Buddha and sometimes cooks a dish for the monks and takes some to here mum and dads , there house is about 200 metres away, yes they shout to each other.

I have my coffee first and wonder round the garden with my dog (German Shepherd). Any bits I want to do in the garden before it gets hot I get on with it, the house stands in just over 1 Rai walled in. I have turfed around the house then let the rest grow green naturally around the garden area, so I bought a 4 stroke strimmer and at the moment in the wet season the whole area needs strimming and I like to do this myself, I may do it over 2 days. Here is a pic of some of the area to strim

I also go to the farm and strim the grass that the cows cannot eat because it is course with irritating sharp bits on the top. In the morning after Bee has cooked and eaten she will clean the house. If I have nothing to do much we work together I clean the bathrooms or put the laundry on.

After all these choral things she will sleep I hit the 2nd Coffee then check emails etc. Sometimes the wife will be off seeing other cousins in the village for a chit chat, then I chill on here.

We go to the night market in Burriram whenever we need stuff and get supplies for us and her parents (At her parents house there is mum & dad grandad and two nieces) We also buy there meat for them and I pay there electric each month. My wife has a big family So i tel the wife that they must help as well financially and they do.

This year we aquired 13 Rai at the rear of our house so there has been that to sort this year.

I dont have many Farang friends, ( not by choice I might add) I have an american guy who has married into the family so we reckon somewhere along the line we might be distant cousins however many times removed lol.

Twikits a Supermkt in Burriram is very good for Farang bits and pieces and I am quite happy getting stuff there, again we go when we feel the need. Sometimes I dont go out the gate there is always something to do.

The other night we went to the Night Mkt then took her dad and a niece for BBQ very nice love it washed down with a bottle or two of leo.

Surin is only 25 clicks from our village and takes me about 30 mins, there we have Big 'C' Makro and Tesco Lotus, next Monday we are going and I will make my first visit to the Farang Connection.

Evenings well I might eat Thai food or Farang food, I have a Euroapean style kitchen so Shepherds pie or Roast dinner or Spagbol. What more could one want.

In the afternoon I might come on here then look some TV. In the evening I let Bee look Thai TV and I come back on here it keeps me in contact with the outside world.

Bedtime is normally about 9-30 pm thereabouts my wife wont go to bed untill I do bless her, she normally falls asleep on the settee.

Well I have not planned this write or scenario just typed things as I think of them.

To-Date This morning up normal time I cleaned the pick up in and out, Bee's dad came to borrow the m/c we ran into Huairat for bits and bobs then Bee got me Grapo moo Kai dow, aroi then I cam on here.

macb

..........................................................

Mac Broadbridge

55 Moo 6

Banthago Sub-District

Huairat

Burriram

Thailand

31000

Sounds wonderful... I live not to far from you... in Surin I'm always interested in meeting new people.

[Dave the Dude]

Sounds wonderful... I live not to far from you... in Surin I'm always interested in meeting new people.

Enjoyinglife22

Things have moved on in Mac's life since this ancient resurected post from 2006

He no longer lives in this area (unfortunetly)

[TBWG]

Well folks

Despite the distinct lack of interest I have decided to relate my Laos experience anyway ~~~~ Koffi~Coffee

Things have been a bit quiet in Satuk recently, no punch ups or dog fights so what can we do for a change. I know we will spring a surprise visit on Koffi!

Now let me explain, Koffi is a Dutchman who lived in Satuk for a few years and as his nickname implies he only drank coffee. Coffee became a bit of an obsession with him and he used to go to Laos to purchase his supplies!

Whilst there he met an attractive Lao girl by the name of Won, whose family by good fortune happened to own a coffee plantation. Well to cut a long story short Koffi and Won are now married live in Paksong the coffee growing region in Laos and have Koffi junior. So a visit to him to sample coffee plus that other great Laos export "Beer Lao" is in order.

So from Satuk to the Chong Mek border crossing is only about a 3 hour drive then 50kms to Pakse and another 50km to Paksong so easily arrive in daylight that's always assuming there are no issues.

Well it may only be 3 hours from Satuk to the border but that's if all the paperwork is in order! Well I know the Tabien Rot (car passport) has expired but no problem, I will get it renewed at the Land Transportation office at the border as I have done several times in the past at Nong Khai, Noooooooooooooo the office in question is in fact in Ubon Ratachani 100kms back from whence we came.

Oh dear, anyway helpful staff at immigration give us the tel no and vague directions so off we go, 2 hours later after criss crossing Ubon finding Big C 3 times, following hired Tuk Tuks who repeatedly lead us to the bus station we eventually stumble across it by accident. (for reference it is very near airport) 30 mins later we are on our way back to Chong Mek. Now follows the usual mammoth session filling in various forms to temporarily export car from Thailand and same same to import into Laos.

That done it's my turn next to part up with my US$35 for a Visa, my travel buddy Markus is looking smug as a Swiss citizen he gets his gratis! Still at least I'm not Canadian US$42 or a yank US$40. The authorities obviously settling some old scores here, but what the hel_l have the Swiss done to get it for nowt, major sucking up maybe?

Well its now very dark, not a lot of lights their side and they drive on the wrong side of the road (if your a Brit or a Thai anyway) So Markus swings into action coming from a country that may get free visas but have to put up with driving arse about face! Well if you thought Thais had no rear lights they are mere amateurs, lights being the exception rather than the rule over here.

So we arrive in Pakse after a hair raising drive avoiding unlit motorbikes and the odd cow. Now Pakse is on the backpacker trail so lots of reasonable guest houses thats if you turn left, we didn't, we went right and finished up in a grotty hotel after earlier choices were full, so for 300 baht a night you get what you pay for, but by now we were past caring!

After a noisy uncomfortable night we were up early to explore Pakse and now discover we had been on the wrong side of town, but we spy a modern coffee shop opposite the covered market and stop for brekkie, however great coffee but no food.............not a problem the owner suggests omelette's and french bread, great, and promptly disappears into the market to purchase same. Five minutes later we are tucking in, this costs about 10 trillion Kip which turns out to be about 5 bob in christian wonga! and is just what the doctor ordered.

A quick trip around the market to purchase a few baguette's and then off to Paksong and for once everyone is pointing us in the same direction, not difficult really as there only appears to be one road out of town in that direction.

So its a steady climb to Paksong which is 1200 odd meters high and has a great climate 28-30 during the day and 12-15 at night and dry not humid. Later Koffi informs us that he does his weekly trip to Pakse on his pushbike 50 kms in 2 hours downhill all the way and returns on the bus with groceries and bike!

When we finally get to Paksong and track down Koffi's coffee HQ his wife tells us he is in Ubon mailing coffee worldwide and replenishing hard to come by items in Laos, but no problem he is due home 5 o'clock that evening, maybe!

So a quick tour of all the guesthouses and hotels soon reveals that Packsong Thevada Hotel is by far the best so sod the expense after the previous evening we deserve a treat and book into this new hilltop hotel with 48 rooms of which 44 are unoccupied and that's after we have accounted for 2! But a very nice hotel it is and sweet and sour ribs in the restaurant go down well. Tables are laid for about 50 guests and while we are eating an advance party arrive, this is security all toting guns on the hips and looking at us through hoodlum type sunglasses, they must have come to the conclusion we were harmless cranks and from then on ignored us completely.

All of a sudden a few pickups with flashing lights and half a dozen people carriers arrive (all sporting Bangkok plates) and the equivalent of a Saga tour is disgorged, judging by the amount of security around 1 old boy he must have been a big shot, an immense amount of food and drink was now consumed in a record time and then they all disappeared as quickly as they came!

Check Koffi out! http://www.paksong.info/laos_coffee_workshop.php

To be continued...............................

TBWG

[coxhoedave]

Great stuff TBWG. Can't wait for the next installment.

[TBWG]

Great stuff TBWG. Can't wait for the next installment.

Well coxhoedave ......... The next enthralling installment!

Well after lunch a trawl around the local bars and restaurants to suss out the place leaves me feeling bloated from all the liquids imbibed. However its about time we check out if Koffi is back so we make our way to his place, but Koffi is nowhere to be seen, oh dear have we embarked on a fools errand?

No, Won informs us he is in the toilet and on cue he arrives looking a bit perplexed, where's Steve? Huh? It transpires that when Won told him some friends had arrived from Satuk he said American Steve? because in a recent phone conversation with him he said he might pay a visit! Yes says Won! First and hopefully last time I'll ever be mistaken for a yank!

I can't help thinking he is a bit disappointed with the arrival of the reserve team! Anyway the coffee begins to flow liberally and excellent it is too.

So after a meal in a local restaurant and a lot of bull****ing we agree to meet early next morning for a coffee extravaganza! see... http://www.paksong.info/laos_coffee_workshop.php

Early next morning we meet at Koffi's, skip the brekkie as we had indulged at the hotel, but did consume more coffee. Well I won't spoil any possible trips you my plan to make but I now know an awful lot about planting, growing, harvesting and roasting the various types of coffee beans especially Arabica being the speciality of the area. I am also the proud owner of 300grams of coffee beans roasted by moi!

Well all in all a very different and interesting way to spend some time ~~~~ so after more coffee we leave Paksong by the alternative route as suggested by Koffi to embark on some more adventures!

To be continued..........................

TBWG