Thai woman opinion about foreigners looking for love...

[thaipopsy]

Weeks ago, I posted here my opinion about Thai women beauty, and the hard time my beautiful friends at work have to find a suitable foreigner boy friend and husband. I also told them that in the US I got a lot of praise for my beauty, even from a lot younger men than myself. I am 45, and married with a 60 years old American. My husband looks great for his age, but not many of my friends here are willing to married a man a lot older than them. That's what them mostly meet here in BK....and the kind of men responses they got from their online dating sites.

What i believe now is that most foreigners here are just looking in younger women, sometimes a lot younger, and that's the reason may be that they are not looking for women around their age. My question is.

It is savvy for a 40 years old plus foreigner to be interested just in a 25/35 years old women? What kind of women in that age are looking for foreigners here?

Why foreigners in Thailand do not appreciate much the beauty and intelligence of an older women?

An example? My friend Alya, 43 years old, 1,65 m, 55 Kilos, pictured below. Divorced for few years now, independent, traveled, speaking 3 languages fluently, looking for a foreigner....Do you think that she will only have to look in a lot older men?

Edited May 1, 2015 by thaipopsy

[samsensam]

Why foreigners in Thailand do not appreciate much the beauty and intelligence of an older women?

beauty is only skin deep, as kid creole said; if you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty women your wife...

intelligence is an attractive asset, however there is more to a successful relationship, especially a cross cultural one, than beauty and intelligence.

for example, effective communication, mutual respect, compromise, honesty, taking responsibility and realistic expectations

[beachproperty]

Yes she is beautiful on the outside, inside her heart ?????.....Soooo why is she just looking for a foreign man?

I am a foreign man who 12 years ago wasn't looking for a wife but happened to meet my present Thai wife of 10 years. I was 50 at the time she was 45.and although she was younger and attractive, age and beauty were not the issue as she was just an absolutely beautiful person on the inside. Many of the attractive, intelligent and successful Thai women I have met since living here in Thailand seem to be self-centric, controling, opinionated and just difficult to be with. If I wanted that I would've married another foreign women.

[Xonax]

Maybe your friend Ayla has a load of children already and foreign men prefer to have their own children if any? And at 43, she is about to have passed the age to become a mother.

[lovelomsak]

In IMHO most men who marry in Thailand like the submissiveness of a younger thai woman. Beauty is only skin deep and gets boring real quick. I have it found it hard to find a woman in Thailand who can carry an intelligent conversation. Many times it starts good but falls apart because of their lack of worldliness, and brain washing. My wife who is 20 years younger than me answers all my questions with a question. Example 'Are young hungry?" reply "Are you hungry?". " Do you want pizza?" reply "Do you want Pizza?" We cannot discuss home planning doesnot have a clue about planning absolutely anything.Gets angry when I try to do. Things like preparing for university for the children is dismissed as will deal with it when the times come and I will just pay.But she is 45 kilos and has the body of a young woman. And smiles a lot and we laugh a lot life is care free and fun. We live life without a care and enjoy company for companies sake. She has simple tastes easy to please. Small village girl with little expectations. Very, very affordable not an expensive woman to have around. Men compromise for happiness.

I found most women here who feel they have something going for them in Thailand be it looks, job, or even just the top mobile phone and a car, are difficult to be around. they all want to be princesses.Not the type you go out and have a bowl of noodles with at the local shop. If you take them out must be to a place that is new and expensive, even if they do eat noodles when they are there.

You want to know what men are looking for well here goes. Submissive,kind,fun,easy going and easy on the eyes. Like I tell my wife the less you demand the more you get. The happier our life the more you get. The easier our life the more you get. I tell her I wouldnot have married someone who expects a lot and gives a little. She asks nothing and appreciates all I give her.Many princesses offer nothing and demand to be treated special.

Forgot to add the wife speaks 3 languages also. Thai,Loa and English

Edited May 1, 2015 by lovelomsak

[Berkshire]

Many men would prefer to be with someone that they can communicate with perfectly (same language proficiency), shared culture, shared interest, shared values and beliefs, etc. But some men would be willing to sacrifice this for a younger, more attractive female, even if they couldn't communicate well. Hence the attitude of many foreign men in Thailand. If a 50 year old man wanted to date a 50 year old woman, he'd be much better off in the west where he can find someone more compatible. With that rationale, it wouldn't make sense for an older foreigner to be seeking an older Thai woman. There are exceptions, of course.

Anyways, this is just one perspective.

[green job]

Looks more like a bloke in drag to me

[Berkshire]

Looks more like a bloke in drag to me

That's uncalled for. You have to admit that she looks pretty good for 43. Unfortunately, too old for me...

[green job]

Cant you see the neck line?? It is called for. Or are you into scams ??

[ttthailand]

Berkshire got it right. The ladies are lovely but they don't share many of our own ways. We take a young lady not because she is the best at communicating or providing an additional income, we take because she makes us feel young and is fun to be with. Many of the young Thai girls also don't date farang their own age because the younger guys have little money or expect them to pay 50/50 when going out. So here we have options. I have a much younger girlfriend but would have considered an older lady if she had something to offer. The problem is that the older ladies what the same as the younger ones but only offer the same. If given the option of a 25 year old or a 45 year old who offer exactly the same why would I not go with the younger lady.... Older ladies also have more baggage...

Edited May 1, 2015 by ttthailand

[samuibeachcomber]

It would depend how poor they are and how poor their families are.If they are poor then they are likely to become unpoor far sooner if they hook up with a retired expat than if they hooked up with a younger guy still working his ass off to make a living.It's just a trade off.Am sure they would rather be with a man closer to their age.

[Bernard Flint]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

[saakura]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

And how do you feel of 20 yo poorly educated girls from the lower economic strata willing to shack up with them??

[Time Traveller]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you, like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties or something?

Edited May 1, 2015 by Time Traveller

[green job]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties?

I get frightened by the amount of young Thai hookers that want the security and money off a 55 year old falang

[Time Traveller]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties?

I get frightened by the amount of young Thai hookers that want the security and money off a 55 year old falang

Why does that frighten you?

[Bernard Flint]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

And how do you feel of 20 yo poorly educated girls from the lower economic strata willing to shack up with them??

A 20yo is a 20 yo full stop

[Bernard Flint]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you, like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties or something?

NO, someone who has an opinion on the op, why are you angry with someone,s different viewpoint???? are you 60 with a 20 yo, if not thats ok. Many have daughters older, and for me, thats a little bit sicky

[rayongchelsea]

I had to explain to my daughter that in the UK most marry people within their own age bracket. The fact that she asked me , just shows how the volumes of men with very young women ( whose emotional ages are even less ) must have completely screwed up the impression of foreigners here. I expect us with daughters will be a bit more sensitive to this, but it's completely gross..

[thaipopsy]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

Thank you, That's my point, but after reading most responses now I understand why.

Looks like professional, mid class foreigners or retired come here with a lot, a lot of traumas from former relationships with foreigner women. Independent Thai women start to work young, and to learn young to become successful in life, like in any other country, but still family oriented and very respectful of tradition, specially in marriage. Thai men don't., and most Thai men do not like to compete with women in any field. That's is also the reason why Thai men prefer young women, and very few appreciate the value of a mature women at its side. Foreigner do....but.....foreigners think than an educated Thai women will be too much challenge. like the ones on its countries. Are wrong, very wrong. Thai women appreciates foreigner men because we believe that they are more mature than Thai men, but also because they appreciate companionship and partnership. Sure, if we are successful women, we look for successful men, and the ones that can communicate well with us. I speak good English. I only was looking for English speakers. Do you speak Thai? Most foreigners I met before my husband, not English speakers, didn't care to learn our language. My friends, like myself, will not date or married somebody without good communication even if they are billionaires.

We, Thai women, have something in common with all other women in the world. We like sweet talk.

Why you think Thai women married with foreigners sometimes are unfaithful..and with a Thai lover?...for money?

Edited May 1, 2015 by thaipopsy

[Time Traveller]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

And how do you feel of 20 yo poorly educated girls from the lower economic strata willing to shack up with them??

A 20yo is a 20 yo full stop

Yes, Someone legally able to make up their own mind about what other adults they want to associate with.

[Bernard Flint]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

Thank you, That's my point, but after reading most responses now I understand why.

Looks like professional, mid class foreigners or retired come here with a lot, a lot of traumas from former relationships with foreigner women. Independent Thai women start to work young, and to learn young to become successful in life, like in any other country, but still family oriented and very respectful of tradition, specially in marriage. Thai men don't., and most Thai men do not like to compete with women in any field. That's is also the reason why Thai men prefer young women, and very few appreciate the value of a mature women at its side. Foreigner do....but.....foreigners think than an educated Thai women will be too much challenge. like the ones on its countries. Are wrong, very wrong. Thai women appreciates foreigner men because we believe that they are more mature than Thai men, but also because they appreciate companionship and partnership. Sure, if we are successful women, we look for successful men, and the ones that can communicate well with us. I speak good English. I only was looking for English speakers. Do you speak Thai? Most foreigners I met before my husband, not English speakers, didn't care to learn our language. My friends, like myself, will not date or married somebody without good communication even if they are billionaires.

We, Thai women, have something in common with all other women in the world. We like sweet talk.

Why you think Thai women married with foreigners sometimes are unfaithful..and with a Thai lover?...for money?

I believe there is a certain amount of immaturity too, old men that come to the tourist hot spots of

[Time Traveller]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you, like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties or something?

NO, someone who has an opinion on the op, why are you angry with someone,s different viewpoint???? are you 60 with a 20 yo, if not thats ok. Many have daughters older, and for me, thats a little bit sicky

If you said something like: I don't like red, or I don't like chinese food. That's a viewpoint (or opinion). Hey you could have even said you don't like seeing 55 year old men with 20 yo women.

But you said you get "frightened" by it. Implying they are a threat to you and perhaps it would be good if there was some law against it.

That's what I have a problem with. You wanting to impose your social ideals on everyone else. A 55 year is legally allowed to make their own decisions, And so too is a 20 year old. Deal with it.

[Berkshire]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

Thank you, That's my point, but after reading most responses now I understand why.

Looks like professional, mid class foreigners or retired come here with a lot, a lot of traumas from former relationships with foreigner women. Independent Thai women start to work young, and to learn young to become successful in life, like in any other country, but still family oriented and very respectful of tradition, specially in marriage. Thai men don't., and most Thai men do not like to compete with women in any field. That's is also the reason why Thai men prefer young women, and very few appreciate the value of a mature women at its side. Foreigner do....but.....foreigners think than an educated Thai women will be too much challenge. like the ones on its countries. Are wrong, very wrong. Thai women appreciates foreigner men because we believe that they are more mature than Thai men, but also because they appreciate companionship and partnership. Sure, if we are successful women, we look for successful men, and the ones that can communicate well with us. I speak good English. I only was looking for English speakers. Do you speak Thai? Most foreigners I met before my husband, not English speakers, didn't care to learn our language. My friends, like myself, will not date or married somebody without good communication even if they are billionaires.

We, Thai women, have something in common with all other women in the world. We like sweet talk.

Why you think Thai women married with foreigners sometimes are unfaithful..and with a Thai lover?...for money?

I actually have a good understanding of the Thai dating scene and culture. I can see that most Thai women are dating/marrying Thai men close to their age. That's normal. Thai women seeking foreigners usually have some baggage, whether it's because they're poor, lack education, are single mothers, little prospects, getting older....whatever. The attractive ones who can get a Thai man will usually prefer a Thai man. I get that. I can speak pretty good Thai, so I'm not relegated only to Thai women who can speak English. I almost prefer Thai women who cannot speak English as the ones who can tend to be these "farang-hunters."

I sympathize with the plight of older Thai women, many of whom I'm sure are wonderful people. But we simply have too many options. Yes, many of these young girls may be poor and uneducated and deceitful and all that, but that's ok. As someone said earlier, if we can choose between a 25 and 45 year old--most things being equal--then of course the younger would be preferred. That's just the way a man's brain works.

[Loptr]

For the OP, the culture in Thailand is what it is...

Your friend is too old for most Thai men to take up with...

Many foreign men that come to Thailand specifically for the women in my experience are looking for much younger mates...

She needs to meet a foreign man that has "been there, done that", gotten it out of his system and is looking to settle down with someone for the long haul... Unfortunately, she is still looking at a 10 - 15 year age difference to find a suitable partner, based solely on male testosterone levels...

Those are the cards she has been dealt... Of course, this is just my opinion and YMMV...

[thaipopsy]

Please...... read the title well......

I said..."looking for love"... NOT "looking for easy and cheap sex, and a free housekeeper"

If you do believe that 25 years old uneducated Thai women are dating and marrying 40 years old plus non Thai speakers foreigners for love...do not even comment my posting....Please.....

[beachproperty]

Please...... read the title well......

I said..."looking for love"... NOT "looking for easy and cheap sex, and a free housekeeper"

If you do believe that 25 years old uneducated Thai women are dating and marrying 40 years old plus non Thai speakers foreigners for love...do not even comment my posting....Please.....

Personally my thinking is ....if your friend was REALLY "looking for love" she wouldn't have a checklist of things required (ie young, foreign and whatever else is on her checklist). She should live her life with an open heart and along the path of life if "love" did happen ....great for her. She sounds too desperate and is trying too hard for "true love" to happen.

Tell her good luck with that ...

Edited May 1, 2015 by beachproperty

[Bernard Flint]

I get frightened the amount of guys who come to Thailand age 55 and want a 20 yo, its disgusting

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you, like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties or something?

NO, someone who has an opinion on the op, why are you angry with someone,s different viewpoint???? are you 60 with a 20 yo, if not thats ok. Many have daughters older, and for me, thats a little bit sicky

If you said something like: I don't like red, or I don't like chinese food. That's a viewpoint (or opinion). Hey you could have even said you don't like seeing 55 year old men with 20 yo women.

But you said you get "frightened" by it. Implying they are a threat to you and perhaps it would be good if there was some law against it.

That's what I have a problem with. You wanting to impose your social ideals on everyone else. A 55 year is legally allowed to make their own decisions, And so too is a 20 year old. Deal with it.

mmmmmmmmmmm i love red AND chinese food.NOBODY is a threat to me, and whether there is a law has no relevance to me. I am scared because these fat farangs, divorced from a fat wife, may have a heart attack when having sex ,thats why i am scared hahahahhahah.

[Berkshire]

Please...... read the title well......

I said..."looking for love"... NOT "looking for easy and cheap sex, and a free housekeeper"

If you do believe that 25 years old uneducated Thai women are dating and marrying 40 years old plus non Thai speakers foreigners for love...do not even comment my posting....Please.....

Yes, you're right. But it would also mean that a Thai woman dating a foreign man of the SAME AGE who is a non-Thai speaker can't be love as well, correct? I mean, if they can't communicate very well, how can that be love? I've met Thai women with PhD's who can't speak English. English proficiency has nothing to do with education. Thai bargirls can speak English better than most college grads. I agree that foreigners in Thailand wanting a meaningful relationship with a Thai woman should learn to speak some Thai.

I think most older men understand that if they're with a woman 30+ years younger, it's not going to be about love...at least not from her perspective (although 65 with a 35 year old is not bad). But let's be realistic. I grew up in the US. So my taste in things and world perspective is going to be different from pretty much any Thai woman regardless of age. So in terms of interest, opinions, knowledge, and all things of that nature, I would have as much in common with a 25 year old as a 45 year old, i.e., not much.

As for your OP and title, I tried to explain to you earlier why older foreign men seek younger Thai women. Again, if an older foreign man wanted to date a woman his age, he would be better off to date a woman from his home country because of their compatibility. Even if your 43 year old friend were to meet and start dating a 43 year old foreigner, he will find out pretty quick that he could be dating someone much younger and it will be bye-bye. Heck your own husband married someone 15 yrs younger.

[Time Traveller]

I get frightened by the amount of people who complain about 55yr old guys wanting a 20 y.o........what are you, like the Council for Elimination of Civil Liberties or something?

NO, someone who has an opinion on the op, why are you angry with someone,s different viewpoint???? are you 60 with a 20 yo, if not thats ok. Many have daughters older, and for me, thats a little bit sicky

If you said something like: I don't like red, or I don't like chinese food. That's a viewpoint (or opinion). Hey you could have even said you don't like seeing 55 year old men with 20 yo women.

But you said you get "frightened" by it. Implying they are a threat to you and perhaps it would be good if there was some law against it.

That's what I have a problem with. You wanting to impose your social ideals on everyone else. A 55 year is legally allowed to make their own decisions, And so too is a 20 year old. Deal with it.

mmmmmmmmmmm i love red AND chinese food.NOBODY is a threat to me, and whether there is a law has no relevance to me. I am scared because these fat farangs, divorced from a fat wife, may have a heart attack when having sex ,thats why i am scared hahahahhahah.

So just stop having sex with fat farang men, then you won't be scared of them dying on top of you.

Edited May 1, 2015 by Time Traveller