Should I Get Married?

[BlueSkyCowboy]

Most of the comments here confirm my thinking. Thailand is the trashbin for old euopeans. Low class all the way

[neverdie]

Cypress Hill:

You appear to have touched a raw nerve. Can't have anyone on this forum telling it how it really is. Please try to refrain from puncturing their inflated and misconceived ego

Another ch ring in. Well done weedy.

[neverdie]

Most of the comments here confirm my thinking. Thailand is the trashbin for old euopeans. Low class all the way

You must feel right at home.

[neverdie]

When respondents talk about "cheap labour to raise the children", it becomes crystal clear why the OP erred in seeking advice on this subject from mostly dysfunctional men who still believe that a woman should have one arm chained to the bed and the other to the cooker.

If you love her,i would say yes,recently i had a crazed drunken interlude in which i demanded her father move out of his room behind the house,i threw things at the room which missed,i was like bobby Zamora[you know,if your sat in row z and the ball hits your head,it's Zamora],anyway,if she had been my gf,she could have tossed me out next day,but as a husband different,i refused the divorce demand and everything settled down after my grovelling apologies,much easier for her to turf you if not married,also you get 50% of everything you have put into the marriage,and boy do i have some invoices.

Welcome to life with the Sword of Damocles hanging over your head

Just because u r dysfunctional CH, doesn't make all the members here the same as you.

OP, so e say marriage is a fine institution. I say who wants to live in a institution

Problem here is Nd,that our friend Ch,see's himself as the norm,and most posters/people/humans would disagree on that,as we can all see he is as far from normal as is possible.

OK well I just made an observation which, if you're being honest, describes your situation very accurately

Try to make this about me if you like but I'm not derailing the thread arguing with you and the keystone cop

Well done ch, keeping your rants consistent would be difficult considering everything that's going through that erratic mind of yours.

[grumbleweed]

Speechmarks Benroon?

In trying to be smart you have seemlessly made yourself look a proper jackass. That is unless you think the Sun revolves around your particular part of the world and everyone should conform with your way of thinking.

So now you have been exposed as a "person of very limited mentality", would you care to comment?

Please bring it on, I'm bored

[Cypress Hill]

Ignore the idiots saying that you need to give her more. Complete nonsense! You guys sound like you have things working just fine, no need to compensate like some of these other fools.

Nerve touched ?

However its called RESPECT ! Keeping your potentially future wife in a controlled poverty situation isn't going to end well ! If you're not comfortable enough just to have a bank card each with no enquiry over every withdrawal, you shouldn't be getting married.

Reasonable POV . . . if you've married a layabout who can't generate her own income in a country with full employment

[neverdie]

Ignore the idiots saying that you need to give her more. Complete nonsense! You guys sound like you have things working just fine, no need to compensate like some of these other fools.

Nerve touched ?

However its called RESPECT ! Keeping your potentially future wife in a controlled poverty situation isn't going to end well ! If you're not comfortable enough just to have a bank card each with no enquiry over every withdrawal, you shouldn't be getting married.

Reasonable POV . . . if you've married a layabout who can't generate her own income in a country with full employment

Full employment, even amongst those who shouldn't be working and don't even possess the correct permits.

Funny.

[EmptyHead]

This has turned into quite the fighting pit, which wasn't my intention.

Thank you to all who responded seriously.

I doubt there will be any more serious replies, and it is getting as tedious as the Pacman and Mayweather fight. Thaivisa is worth more than that.

I shall tell "the good lady" that some posters on here think she deserves better than me. I expect it will get a giggle. As will the 10k a month pocket money thing someone here suggested. That would certainly put a very big dent in my (very basic) teaching salary.

I remember when I was a backpacker living in her 2,500B a month room in BKK, sleeping on the floor together. (Yes, I paid the rent....cheeky buggers). All her colleagues, at the sportsbar where she worked, mocked her. They asked her why she was with me when she could do as they do and use lots of guys for money. They told her she was wasting her time cos she wasn't benefiting financially. She said she didn't want to be like that and I was a nice guy. Now, she is the madam of the village, worth over 3 million (house, shop, cars, and farmland). And she still hasn't kicked my ass out. Maybe I should marry her, lol. Most of her "friends" are still bottom-feeding, though they get a decent sum each month from their guy(s).

As for my intentions with marriage. If she wants it, I will (probably) go for it since "a happy wife is a happy life". Otherwise, it doesn't matter - its just a piece of paper to me.

Mods - feel free to close this down. It has ran its course.

And thanks again to the serious posters

[nithisa78]

Yes, we'd all like to live life without regrets. Then we could all die idiots.

If you have to ask on a public forum, No.

Holy matrimony is a calling from God.

You don't hear it, you don't do it. Continue to live outside the normal of society.

Your post had an uncomfortable tone in it, to me. What do you need, what do you want to do?

Where do you want your life to be 6 months from now. Act it out in your heart and mind. You're a man.

Edited May 24, 2015 by nithisa78

[Cypress Hill]

Ignore the idiots saying that you need to give her more. Complete nonsense! You guys sound like you have things working just fine, no need to compensate like some of these other fools.

Nerve touched ?

However its called RESPECT ! Keeping your potentially future wife in a controlled poverty situation isn't going to end well ! If you're not comfortable enough just to have a bank card each with no enquiry over every withdrawal, you shouldn't be getting married.

Reasonable POV . . . if you've married a layabout who can't generate her own income in a country with full employment

Full employment, even amongst those who shouldn't be working and don't even possess the correct permits.

Funny

Honestly, listening to you attempt wit is like watching a goat use an ATM

If you've nothing on topic to say, just go elsewhere.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Cypress Hill

[TommyUK1960]

One advantage of being married is you only need 400k for your Married extension of stay where as you need 800k for retirement extension.

[arjunadawn]

If you have to ask what the "benefit" is to getting married, then "no," you should not. I wish all you good fortune. As you consider whether or not to marry you are also entering one of the most difficult milestones in a relationship- the 5-7 year mark. For numerous people this is a challenging times, for a number of reasons. There are of course two different types of marriage in Thailand, IMO. The traditional marriage and of course the legal paperwork marriage. The traditional one was far more important to my in laws then the legal one. Blew my mind. I would be surprised if a girl in that situation did not want to be married.

PS- We also said things like "at least we are not married" to each other in fights. Think normal there too. Good luck and health to your family.

[Cypress Hill]

One advantage of being married is you only need 400k for your Married extension of stay where as you need 800k for retirement extension.

The OP says he's a teacher. He doesn't need a marriage or retirement extension to remain here

[maprao]

I forget who posted it

"I'm happy having my girl 24/7 except for the three months she goes home to take care of her farm"

OMG:blink:

[perdido]

...definitely not....

[smotherb]

If you are from the UK, and have paid National Insurance Contributions, there are benefits she can get in the event of your death. ONLY a wife (widow) can claim these benefits.

Similar if you had any occupational pension schemes.

True of the States too.

[Altalake]

Rather a dumb question to ask.

Who's business is it but yours - and your GF? No one else can make it for you.

[Thunderbirds20]

the only thing toget married for would be to protect your investment. If you are married and can prove you paid for everything, always keep that documnetation, .. you are entitled to half. If you are not married, ... she can kick you out any time and you will be like me, ...even though I was married, .. I still lost everything, because the land was in her mother's name and all my documents about who paid were in the house! You never know in Thailand! Better to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!

[ALFREDO]

OP - Check the law in your home country regarding pension and =Half orphan's pension=

In my home country its a big difference,

if you are married with a Thai, and have a child together, the wife qualifies for a widows pension until the wifes death, (But first you would have do die.) Child gets a -Half orphans pension-.

If not married, no widows pension and only =Half orphan's pension= will be paid out until your child is 18 years young.

Edited May 24, 2015 by ALFREDO

[thejcb]

Oh Dear !

[teatree]

Getting married would make getting her a visa to visit places like Europe, the US and Australia much easier.

Also, if unmarried, in the event of your wife and child dying, you would have a problem claiming rights to the property. If married ownership would pass to you and you would have a year to sell up.

Edited May 25, 2015 by teatree

[louse1953]

3k a month, you smooth operator you. 2015 now buddy, want a happy Mrs, appreciate her a bit more and show her you value her.

Get married? You've got cheap labour to bring up you kids

If she is a fiancee there is an implicit deal that you will get married, thats what a fiancee is, someone you are betrothed to , i.e. "will you marry me, darling? "

"Yes Darling I will"

Voila, you have a fiancee.

And a deal to get married...... in the past there were breach of trust suits to people who reneged on deals like that.

If you are happy and love your partner and want the best for you kids, how is getting married going to hurt anything...it will sure give her big face too.

I would dig a bit deeper financially mate , really 3k baht a month?? Unreal.

How is not getting married going to hurt anything.Why does everything revolve around money.Maybe his income,after paying all the bills is only 6k and he gives her half.Very generous in my opinion.I don't know how much you pay your partner to look after your kids,but i believe most people do this for free.

[louse1953]

From the little I know about women (and particularly Thai women) your GF will want to be married; it offers her security and commitment.

I personally think it's better for your child too (but that's just me).

Finally, what have you got to lose? She has all the assets so if you get married she's not suddenly getting half of everything is she? In fact you could argue that you'd be better off as you'd be entitled to something if it went wrong?!

Stick with it as it sounds like you've got things pretty good :-)

If they get married now,new wife keeps everything already in her name.

[louse1953]

If she holds down a job she don't need any money from you, if there isn't a reason why she should have a job tell her to get one, 2015 now it's a modern world, for the blokes who like to pay there women often it's a control thing, importance of self and all that sort of stuff, I just don't get paying your gf or wife never have never will.

Insecure men thing they have to pay their partner to hang around.

[louse1953]

Don't ever get married to make somebody else happy.This is something you must feel you want to do.Simple village ceremony if you must.

[louse1953]

Yes, we'd all like to live life without regrets. Then we could all die idiots.

If you have to ask on a public forum, No.

Holy matrimony is a calling from God.

You don't hear it, you don't do it. Continue to live outside the normal of society.

Your post had an uncomfortable tone in it, to me. What do you need, what do you want to do?

Where do you want your life to be 6 months from now. Act it out in your heart and mind. You're a man.

Don't forget to ask the spirits in the spirit house.If hearing voices from the sky makes me normal,then i must be a raving lunatic.

[wow64]

No need to do it... You already sound happy.

Remember my first marriage it put a lot of pressure on me if we had a fight.... It was like sh|t I cant leave I am married and you will get my assets.

Just have a will and look after what needs looking after there, kid, misses..etc

Sent from my c64

[GOLDBUGGY]

I know marriage to you doesn't mean much. In Canada a Common Law Wife (Woman you live with) has equal rights in Canada. On separation she has the same rights of a wife in the division of property.

But my experience is that in Thailand it is a lot different. Marriage means a lot. Nobody will really take you serious until you are. They do tolerate a Man & Woman living together, I did as well with my Girl Friend for about 6 years. My In-Laws sound about the same as your also. But in all that time I was never invited to sleep and my wife's parents place until I was married to her.

Since everything is in your G.F names already, I can't see you losing anything. You also have a child and if things go South you should still try to help and pay child support, whether you have a ring on your finger or not. One of the best cheap gifts you can give your son, or daughter, is your citizenship. Which is more difficult if you are not married.

I don;t know Friend! That piece of paper never kept 2 of my other marriages together. So it won't keep you for life with her either.

[YeahSiam]

Full employment, even amongst those who shouldn't be working and don't even possess the correct permits.

Funny

Honestly, listening to you attempt wit is like watching a goat use an ATM

[sir charles IV]

Although it doesn't seem to be of high priority in your circumstance I recommend u pop the question. As you know it is not a Thai custom for a woman to pop the question and "up to you" fits the bill here nicely. You will be seen as a man of honor to her family and friends "the Thai save face thingy". A married woman is more respected than one just living with a man. She seems a nice catch (no relationship is ever perfect) and u would pop the question. It will be fun and will spice up you relationship even more. Do u have any idea how much satisfaction she will get from showing her ring and sharing the wedding photos with friends? Being envied is what Thai women live for! [emoji12]