is it right thing to do

[opalred]

we sometimes dont understand there thinking on many things

my wife of many years every morning buys cakes and things to put on her shrine in backyard for past relations in new lives

i have chickens and quail and fish in backyard and nightfall when i feed them i also feed from her shrine the cakes and food

to the animals

i have never told wife where food on shrine goes

[CharlieH]

MOVED to Expat forum

[96tehtarp]

She most likely knows that you are doing that.

[mauGR1]

She most likely knows that you are doing that.

Agree... And as far as i know , there is nothing wrong with it.

[Muzarella]

Better to stop doing that, and not tell your wife about.

If she found out that you are doing that you will get in BIG trouble.

Food for merits can be consumed after retired by her, but not by other people.

If animal feeds from that food on the shrine is OK, but not given by people. Will be considered non respectful by religious people, and by your wife if she is too. Superstitions runs high in Buddhist religious people.

Any "bad luck" can be related with what happens with the merits.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Muzarella

[sirineou]

my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it,

I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits.

[tifino]

wow! opalred

- you are doing 'something' relating to her culture - that she hasn't earlier on ordered you to do/or touch!!!

so, I see it as a damned if you don't - damned if you do, situation.

Either one day she'll either confront you - but it will be at a much later date when you least expect it!, or

you could simply ask her one day - "what time can I take it away" for her. ( this will at least settle the question as to whether you are even allow to touch it - period!! )

She may, as already suggested by some, already know what you have been doing, and is being kind (if that's possible? ) to not make you lose face - as she would expect if was her in your place, as an unknowing farang.

Glad it's you, not me in your situation, as mine would have bitten my head off by now...

Edited May 25, 2015 by tifino

[CharlieH]

Personally, I see it as a total lack of respect for your wife and her beliefs.

The fact that you do it in a sly manner makes it even worse !

[bendejo]

Sounds like leaving cookies and milk out for Santa, and in the morning the kids wake up and find the empty glass and empty plate.

If your wife doesn't know what you're doing, what does she think becomes of the offerings no longer there?

[longstebe]

Cakes?

What happened to the usual bananas and the red coloured drink.

[asdecas]

Thai spirits are particularly fond on 'nam daeng' when they can get it, I find.

In times of paucity, 'nam kaeow' will do, but be aware that it is a very poor substitute, and likely to lead to some ructions in the 'other world'.

As for cakes and other confections, the 'people over there' have sweet tooths just as we do, and are as prone to overfeeding and its associated ailments as we are in the lower world. Best therefore to see that not too much cake is offered at once, but rather be sparing and vary their diet with some roughage from time to time.

Next week - how to ensure a harmonious and happy spirit house.

[ronthai]

Cakes?

What happened to the usual bananas and the red coloured drink.

It's paid for with farang money. Therefore it can be more expensive

[oneday]

Just keep doing it. If she ever finds out then plead ignorance and it will pass, but from that moment on you can't do it anymore so keep being sneaky. I'm with you.

[bushdoctor]

Perhaps suggest to your wife that the spirits might enjoy a couple of Chang beers from time to time. It will give you something to do while you're feeding the fish.

[msealey]

In Buddhism, does anyone know how many merits you need to get for a distinction?

[sdanielmcev]

Tread carefully

[Berkshire]

Every religion has irrational aspects, from an outsiders point-of-view. Every religion. If the OP's wife were to disrespect his religion (assuming he has one), how would he feel?

[northernphil]

my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it,

I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits.

The way some of my neighbours sing at night I think they are possessed by evil spirits, mainly laokao based.

[Nemesis7]

There is nothing wrong in showing little respect

[kannot]

Try explaining to her its all nonsense..............yeah right, still stuck in the mindset of the caveman, why do I have to respect stupidity? because they'll kill me if I don't, some respect eh .

[Guest]

What my wife does in her religious practice, is to me .. a sacred thing between her, and her God.

I do not need to understand it... I only need to respect it.

Although those cakes seem "wasted" to you ... they are not ... in her religion.

Perhaps you could just smile, leave the cakes where they are for a while .. and see what she says.

She DOES realize they disappear, and may think animals come at night and eat them .. which would make her happy.

She would not be happy to know you have interfered in her Merit and Boon. It would be like taking flowers from a grave, "Such a waste, I will feed them to my ducks .." and not expecting the person who put them there to be offended.

My question is, if those cakes are there in the morning, what does she do with them when she puts the new Merit out?

Leave it all there for a while, and get the answer to that question. It would be funny if she said "I feed them to the chickens."

[Tchooptip]

There is nothing wrong in showing little respect

Unfortunately this very notion of respect is slowly but surely disappearing in the western world ...IMHO at least

(not about OP but generally speaking)

[lvr181]

my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it,

I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits.

The chickens get Sang Som also? Wow.

Is this how the old saying "pi**ed as a chook" came from?

(my bold, above)

[Asheron]

Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because.

[Berkshire]

What my wife does in her religious practice, is to me .. a sacred thing between her, and her God.

I do not need to understand it... I only need to respect it.

Although those cakes seem "wasted" to you ... they are not ... in her religion.

Perhaps you could just smile, leave the cakes where they are for a while .. and see what she says.

She DOES realize they disappear, and may think animals come at night and eat them .. which would make her happy.

She would not be happy to know you have interfered in her Merit and Boon. It would be like taking flowers from a grave, "Such a waste, I will feed them to my ducks .." and not expecting the person who put them there to be offended.

My question is, if those cakes are there in the morning, what does she do with them when she puts the new Merit out?

Leave it all there for a while, and get the answer to that question. It would be funny if she said "I feed them to the chickens."

Very good points. Especially the flowers in the cemetery example. Why do people do that? The dead are dead, they don't care!! Well, people have their beliefs, don't they.

[Guest]

Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because.

good news ... those people do not care what you think.

you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with.

not judgin' ... just sayin'

555

[Gecko123]

Opaired:

If the wife catches you, just tell her you were concerned she was overfeeding the dearly departed.

[Asheron]

Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because.

good news ... those people do not care what you think.

you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with.

not judgin' ... just sayin'

555

Even better news is that i wouldn't care that they didn't care

[Razzler1973]

Do the fish like the cakes??

[Guest]

Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because.

good news ... those people do not care what you think.

you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with.

not judgin' ... just sayin'

555

Even better news is that i wouldn't care that they didn't care

So you absolutely do not care, but go out of your way to talk about other people's business and just keep posting.

Thou does protest too loudly, me thinks!

You see, I am an atheist, most people do not know that.

It is not my place to judge others if they believe in the Tooth Fairy, God .. or whatever.

To me, the "radical atheists" are just as annoying as any bible thumper, perhaps more so, for they are thumping the "I do not believe!!" bible.

Can you see how silly that sounds?