I am "old" fashion or what?

[MaeJoMTB]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

No they are not. Some Thai actually have more or equal financial means as their husband, whether Thai or foreigner. Some actually have meaningful financial means, it all depends. My wife is not rich but she had quite a bit of land in her name + some decent savings which she contributed to our joint business. Sorry but I have to disagree with your statement. Your experience is somehow limited.

Not many,

My Thai neighbor, he pays for everything, she spends her wage on herself.

(and she screws around)

Your joint business, who paid the set up costs?

Don't answer we already know.

Edited May 27, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[zeichen]

"If she says because you are handsome or that you excite her then I think you are on the right track"

I think that you are confusing sexual desire with love which isn't uncommon for most foreign men here.

[maidee]

do any of you with nice, honest, young, sweet, faitfull , not golddigger wifes, happen to have a sister-in-law that is single?

[HooHaa]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

I bought mine loads of luxury stuff she never had before

Bed, mattress, sheets, duvet ............ sleeping mat on the hut floor with a blanket and pillow was all she had.

When I took her out to buy furniture, and asked what she liked, she said "I don't know, we've never had furniture before"

If you don't learn to limit her friendships you will be divorced fairly soon.

This isn't the west, and most of the girls can't deal with friendships by themselves.

You either learn to manage 'Thai culture', or you fail miserably.

And that includes their access to drugs, alcohol, gambling, your money, etc.

My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

You're living in a fantasy world man.

it would seem it is you who is deluded, you have a servant or a pet, not wife, partner or equal.

[HooHaa]

the way threads like this unfold does far more damage to the perception of the foreigners than the women they disparage.

[BKResort]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

Our argument this time, happens exactly after accepting a new couple invitation for lunch, and the restaurant they elected was the most expensive in town, and all the conversation was about the new couple purchases.....To make things worst.....in this new couple, for a change, the farang was younger than his ugly, fat, and older wife. My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

Sure, comparing with my financial situation, every farang out there is a millionaire, but my wife knew that before getting married with me, and she was fine with that.....until now.....founding out what other farangs are giving to their Thai wives...or the way they spend money.

My wife never before had experience dating farangs..and she is financially independent. In some ways, with more assets than myself.

After few years in the marriage, I was not expecting this " change of mind " ... and to keep her away to these situations is not easy. Most of her girl friends are married or dating farangs, some in long distance relationships. and getting money for the "waiting". Another non sense.

Anyway..... I told her that will be better for her to look for another husband, or a rich lover, if she is unhappy......even if will be a sad resoltution for myself...and the end of my first, and probably my last Thai marriage.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

And looks like I am "old fashion"... and/or in the wrong culture. If not for love.... getting married do not make sense to me.

I don't know what country you come from and where you get your money from.

Thai women want social security for sex, and every Farang woman would want the same. In the West, many Farang women get social security from the government. But they are quite sexless in comparison to Thai women.

I'm German, and I get reasonable pensions. When I die, my wife will get half of the pension as a widow.

Yes, I also bought her gold and a car, and I spent quite a bit of money for the family party in Isaan. In fact, I got (and get) everything back. The car is in her name, so she has to pay taxes and insurance for the car while she drives me around. She's got a job in Pattaya (not in a bar), and we don't talk about money or presents anymore.

The show about who had the richest and most generous Farang is over. It finally caused all kinds of silly rumours which upset her.

Once again: see if you can show up with a reliable source of income that would still be coming in when you die, and make a calculation on this. Thai ladies are quite good in calculations.

Something I didn't know before getting married, and not so many Americans and Thai knows, is that for a foreign spuse get the 60% of the American husband social Security after its die, foreign spouse will have to live at least 5 consecutive years in the US.

This is something never will happens because I do not pretend to live in the US again. My retirment income is all what I have, not savings anywhere, even here because it is not mandatory for Americans if having the minimum income to qualify in immigration. I have 45000 thb/monthly retirement income from the US. Gross retirement income. I still with debts.

I only spend 30000/month here, and we live well with that in our small town. That money pays for the house rent, small car payment, and all other related expenses. We travel around sometimes, but not using 5 starts hotel and resorts, or dinning in fancy restaurants.

We started a small business 2 years ago that may be profitable after stoping investing on it. That will takes long time. No money enough now to do any major purchase, or any major travelings or extravagances...like many farangs like to do with its Thai wives... and show off about in any opportunity its can.

I am not in that game.

My wife knew about. Her family also knew about, and when we had a not expected expense, her family lended us the money without questions or conditions. She and her family are very fine people, and I will miss them a lot if we get divorced.

But.....that is not common here. Looks like Thai women married with farangs are spoiled, and money is the basis for their marriage most of the time.

Not in my case, at all. Even if my wife is very slender and beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself, that was not the main reason for my interest in her. I had many affairs during my 2 single years in Thailand, and better sex than I had with my wife now....but..that is a problem for other reasons. Her friends cannot understand why a beautiful, youny mid age woman, will marry an older and "poor" farang...and they openly talk about, even offering a lot "better" farang candidates. I understand that only real love will stop my wife to look for a richier farang, and I also understand that she is free to chose what she feels will be better for her..and that's OK. We already are talking about....and I hope she will be happier.

Just another desapointment I was not expecting after 3 years of marriage. This is Thailand...not her fault.

And..is not my fault if I do not have the money most farangs have here to buy sex and companion getting married... I do not frequent bar or prostitution, but I do not need to get married to have a woman at my side. I just tough that this one was the right one.

Liike I said..I am an old fashion....and "poor"... probably not a good combination to live and look for love in Thailand.

After more than 5 years here, may be just the time to look for another destinations.

I still young in my 60s.

Edited May 27, 2015 by BKResort

[MaeJoMTB]

I only spend 30000/month here, and we live well with that in our small town. That money pays for the house rent, small car payment, and all other related expenses. We travel around sometimes, but not using 5 starts hotel and resorts, or dinning in fancy restaurants.

5 of us living on 40k/month.

Most Thai families live on far less.

[MaeJoMTB]

it would seem it is you who is deluded, you have a servant or a pet, not wife, partner or equal.

Bit off topic now,

But partner or equal ....... it don't work like that in Asia.

[F4UCorsair]

Dump her! !

[F4UCorsair]

Deleted.... double post

Edited May 27, 2015 by F4UCorsair

[ttthailand]

"If she says because you are handsome or that you excite her then I think you are on the right track"

I think that you are confusing sexual desire with love which isn't uncommon for most foreign men here.

No not at all, I know the difference. What I am saying is that when you first meet someone you either get that feeling of physical attraction or there is no spark. That spark is what brings people together and starts the love process. Here in Thailand we see too much financial attraction that has little to do with the physical and everything to do with the material.

[nithisa78]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

My advise to you, get help. Misery might love company, company doesn't care for your misery.

Or just stay under your rock. You're probably terminal at this point. You play you pay. Now just pay and keep the bitterness to yourself. pussy boy.

You wrote Mum five words later you wrote BS. Study that. She broke you, where is she to fix you. Did you kiss her with that mouth.

[micmichd]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

Our argument this time, happens exactly after accepting a new couple invitation for lunch, and the restaurant they elected was the most expensive in town, and all the conversation was about the new couple purchases.....To make things worst.....in this new couple, for a change, the farang was younger than his ugly, fat, and older wife. My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

Sure, comparing with my financial situation, every farang out there is a millionaire, but my wife knew that before getting married with me, and she was fine with that.....until now.....founding out what other farangs are giving to their Thai wives...or the way they spend money.

My wife never before had experience dating farangs..and she is financially independent. In some ways, with more assets than myself.

After few years in the marriage, I was not expecting this " change of mind " ... and to keep her away to these situations is not easy. Most of her girl friends are married or dating farangs, some in long distance relationships. and getting money for the "waiting". Another non sense.

Anyway..... I told her that will be better for her to look for another husband, or a rich lover, if she is unhappy......even if will be a sad resoltution for myself...and the end of my first, and probably my last Thai marriage.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

And looks like I am "old fashion"... and/or in the wrong culture. If not for love.... getting married do not make sense to me.

I don't know what country you come from and where you get your money from.

Thai women want social security for sex, and every Farang woman would want the same. In the West, many Farang women get social security from the government. But they are quite sexless in comparison to Thai women.

I'm German, and I get reasonable pensions. When I die, my wife will get half of the pension as a widow.

Yes, I also bought her gold and a car, and I spent quite a bit of money for the family party in Isaan. In fact, I got (and get) everything back. The car is in her name, so she has to pay taxes and insurance for the car while she drives me around. She's got a job in Pattaya (not in a bar), and we don't talk about money or presents anymore.

The show about who had the richest and most generous Farang is over. It finally caused all kinds of silly rumours which upset her.

Once again: see if you can show up with a reliable source of income that would still be coming in when you die, and make a calculation on this. Thai ladies are quite good in calculations.

Something I didn't know before getting married, and not so many Americans and Thai knows, is that for a foreign spuse get the 60% of the American husband social Security after its die, foreign spouse will have to live at least 5 consecutive years in the US.

This is something never will happens because I do not pretend to live in the US again. My retirment income is all what I have, not savings anywhere, even here because it is not mandatory for Americans if having the minimum income to qualify in immigration. I have 45000 thb/monthly retirement income from the US. Gross retirement income. I still with debts.

I only spend 30000/month here, and we live well with that in our small town. That money pays for the house rent, small car payment, and all other related expenses. We travel around sometimes, but not using 5 starts hotel and resorts, or dinning in fancy restaurants.

We started a small business 2 years ago that may be profitable after stoping investing on it. That will takes long time. No money enough now to do any major purchase, or any major travelings or extravagances...like many farangs like to do with its Thai wives... and show off about in any opportunity its can.

I am not in that game.

My wife knew about. Her family also knew about, and when we had a not expected expense, her family lended us the money without questions or conditions. She and her family are very fine people, and I will miss them a lot if we get divorced.

But.....that is not common here. Looks like Thai women married with farangs are spoiled, and money is the basis for their marriage most of the time.

Not in my case, at all. Even if my wife is very slender and beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself, that was not the main reason for my interest in her. I had many affairs during my 2 single years in Thailand, and better sex than I had with my wife now....but..that is a problem for other reasons. Her friends cannot understand why a beautiful, youny mid age woman, will marry an older and "poor" farang...and they openly talk about, even offering a lot "better" farang candidates. I understand that only real love will stop my wife to look for a richier farang, and I also understand that she is free to chose what she feels will be better for her..and that's OK. We already are talking about....and I hope she will be happier.

Just another desapointment I was not expecting after 3 years of marriage. This is Thailand...not her fault.

And..is not my fault if I do not have the money most farangs have here to buy sex and companion getting married... I do not frequent bar or prostitution, but I do not need to get married to have a woman at my side. I just tough that this one was the right one.

Liike I said..I am an old fashion....and "poor"... probably not a good combination to live and look for love in Thailand.

After more than 5 years here, may be just the time to look for another destinations.

I still young in my 60s.

Your wife's friends may come up with suggestions for "better" Farangs as much as they want, but in the end your wife will probably listen to her family.

Further generations in the West (eg the "young Farangs") will have considerable lower incomes and pensions than the current pensioners' generation. So, your wife might be better off if she stays with a present pensioner.

The llegal situation for German pensioners is a bit different from USA: German pension funds presently check if you as a pensioner have EU citizenship, no need to take your wife to Europe.

[off road pat]

"She get very upset, telling me that it is not the same. She said that Thai women expect benefits in a marriage, and men needs to give "benefits" in exchange of having women in bed and taking care of its needs."

Now see, this is a conversation better to have had before getting married...

Exactly what I did before marrying my lovely wife.....and she understood perfectly, and this is the reason I married her.

She has a couple of nice friends who are not materialistic. And the rest falls into the category described by the OP.

Wanting expensive stuff, just because it's expensive and they can show off to there friends....the latest I Phone, or some flashy jewellery or brand name handbag ....?!?

One of her friends showed my wife a diamond ring she begged of her husband....it costed approximately the same amount as our spending of more than a month on a nice beach in the south.....and asked my wife what would she prefer ? a tiny ring to show of to friends and that you can loose or can get stolen, or the great time and experiences that live forever with us?

Lucky for the both of us, my wife is well educated and experienced she knows the true value of things.....

She knows I will give her everything she needs, but not everything she wants...that's up to discussion !.

And by the way, her friend lost the diamond out of the ring....has only the ring left...?!!!!

My wife's friends often ask her how come we travel so much and we are not rich.? We certainly are not ! , but we spend our money wisely and enjoy it the full....without falling into the so many financial and cultural traps. They simply think that gold and brand name goods are the only sign of wealth / richness ? the thing is, they are not rich !!! but just like to make people think they are....

I have travelled extensively all around Europe and Asia with my wife. she has no golden rings or Brand name clothes or handbags, but she can talk about Germany, Austria, Holland, France, Paris, Portugal, Spain, Italy, Greece, Czechoslovakia, Prague, Hungary, Budapest, Belgium, Croatia, Turkey, Istanbul, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Myanmar, because she has been there....and travelled extensively around every one of those country's....

I think that is real richness !....And I love my wife so much for her personality and intelligence. not to mention her great sense of humour...!!!

Best regards. Off Road Pat

[off road pat]

"My partner is nearly 40th years younger then me."

Perhaps post in the gay section because this is a discussion about his wife not a "partner"

The point the other posters were talking about applies to heterosexual relationships with foreign men and Thai women.

I do feel that the OP has married a gold digger in disguise.

The only thing that I would do from now on is not to meet these people she talks with. I wouldn't go out to dinner with people that only talked about their money and what they buy.

I would take off for a month or so and live in BKK. Tell your wife that you need a break from her. Tell her that you thought your life was built on mutual love and respect and that you were building a life together, not building a life for her. You feel taken for granted and not appreciated and if all she wants is a rich man to care for her go ahead, but he will also treat her like a subservient mistress and not a wife. Also tell her that you could also find someone younger that wants less than she does.

Or be a wussy and hen pecked. Take a stand or don't. Would you rather be alone and confident or with her and feel unworthy?

Is a longtime partnership between two people not the same as be married ?

The only thing you need to marry is if you got childern are if one of you die the finances are regulated, for the rest nothing.

Read between the lines what I want to say ...PLEASE The only thing is that partners not talk enought and make there points before going for there future. OK

Yes, talking is the most important thing. both have to adjust to the same wavelength....my wife and I did extensively and we are at par with each other.

But, marring can have more reasons than children....I married my wife , because she would not need the waiting days and expensive paperwork to get a visa...

I do love my wife dearly but, Marriage, is not sign or proof of love....

I can say that my 110% trust in my wife has been very well placed, as she has saved my life more than once.....

Best regards. Off Road Pat

[off road pat]

Thank you guys for so many good comments and advice, sharing your own experiences in Thailand.

.

I undertand people's frustration in not to have all what its wants, or others have, that happens specially in inmature people.

in my case, probably my wife is frustrated because I do not have more to give than to pay for our basic iving expenses. No new car or new house, not superflous spendings, just having a calm and happy life...but...looks like that is not enough for her. I can understand, because looks like most foreigners here are really "buying" its spouses, with luxury them never had before in life. Some guys also likes to show off the money they have, or what are buying, etc, that in my opinion it is a very stupid attitude. But, stupid or not, really may afect some women minds..At least...looks like it is doing with my woman, after her meeting so many of those cases. I am not the kind of person will limit or control my wife friendships.

Our argument this time, happens exactly after accepting a new couple invitation for lunch, and the restaurant they elected was the most expensive in town, and all the conversation was about the new couple purchases.....To make things worst.....in this new couple, for a change, the farang was younger than his ugly, fat, and older wife. My wife is very beautiful, and 15 years younger than myself.

Sure, comparing with my financial situation, every farang out there is a millionaire, but my wife knew that before getting married with me, and she was fine with that.....until now.....founding out what other farangs are giving to their Thai wives...or the way they spend money.

My wife never before had experience dating farangs..and she is financially independent. In some ways, with more assets than myself.

After few years in the marriage, I was not expecting this " change of mind " ... and to keep her away to these situations is not easy. Most of her girl friends are married or dating farangs, some in long distance relationships. and getting money for the "waiting". Another non sense.

Anyway..... I told her that will be better for her to look for another husband, or a rich lover, if she is unhappy......even if will be a sad resoltution for myself...and the end of my first, and probably my last Thai marriage.

I do not need to "buy" a wife. Never did.

And looks like I am "old fashion"... and/or in the wrong culture. If not for love.... getting married do not make sense to me.

I don't know what country you come from and where you get your money from.

Thai women want social security for sex, and every Farang woman would want the same. In the West, many Farang women get social security from the government. But they are quite sexless in comparison to Thai women.

I'm German, and I get reasonable pensions. When I die, my wife will get half of the pension as a widow.

Yes, I also bought her gold and a car, and I spent quite a bit of money for the family party in Isaan. In fact, I got (and get) everything back. The car is in her name, so she has to pay taxes and insurance for the car while she drives me around. She's got a job in Pattaya (not in a bar), and we don't talk about money or presents anymore.

The show about who had the richest and most generous Farang is over. It finally caused all kinds of silly rumours which upset her.

Once again: see if you can show up with a reliable source of income that would still be coming in when you die, and make a calculation on this. Thai ladies are quite good in calculations.

Yes,... I like your quote "The show about who had the richest and most generous Farang is over." This is good insight. !

I have to remember that one. !!

My wife and I talked everything over long before we were married. and we never have arguments about this futility's anymore....

I would never stop her from seen Thai friends. and she is intelligent enough to know the difference between friends who want the best for her and those that are superficial and just like to F.ck up good relation ships.....

Best regards, Off Rod Pat.

[zeichen]

"No not at all, I know the difference. What I am saying is that when you first meet someone you either get that feeling of physical attraction or there is no spark. That spark is what brings people together and starts the love process."

Actually you don't as your explanation proves it. That spark is sexual not emotional. Love doesn't need that spark of physical attraction. There needs to be a connection but it doesn't have to be physical.

Also your ageist comments that younger guys will more likely find true love is just ridiculous.

Sex does not equal love but it is clear it does to you.

[BKResort]

I have to tell that the argument with my wife started again this time, after meeting a retired farang with his new wife, he met and got married after 2 months here. Both in their 50s.

He mentioned before to me that his wife and wife's family were modest farmers, and his wife wanted him to build a new house on her land, and bought more land... I said nothing, but when we met again for this dinner, this time with his wife, he mentioned that he just bought a new car and was in her wife name, because his wife told him that was the only way. Now he was ready to buy a new truck, and his wife again told him that needs to have it in her name. Because this time we were al together, I noticed that he was confuse about all that, and that his wife was doing everything to get most of the new relationship, and very fast...

I told him that he can have my advice about money affairs if he wanted.

When I commented with my wife my feelings about, she reacted saying that, if my friend have the money to spend, is good for his wife to have it, and that is what all her girlfriends do....etc..etc...

I went balistic.

[zeichen]

As to the OP. I feel bad for your situation. You really need to move out now and not be a doormat. You actually sound pathetic now. "

"I also understand that she is free to chose what she feels will be better for her..and that's OK. We already are talking about....and I hope she will be happier."

who the F cares if she will be happier. To hell with a gold digger and her whore friends. We care about you.

Call a lawyer start divorce precedings and get half of everything that you acquired while married. Don't let her fool you that she has the right to all of your investments. Keep records of conversations where she threatens to leave or be with other men. Encourage her to go out with other men and then video tape her with them. Do whatever it takes to ruin her and start your life over.

There are 1000's of women in their late 40's and 50's that like a simple but nice man. Not everyone cares about wealth. Sometimes for many women the security they seek is emotional not financial. Too bad you didn't meet these friends before getting married.

Next time you date make sure you meet her friends before getting serious.

You also mention that you never go to whore houses. Start now. Spend more money on going out without her and tell her that you don't have enough next time she asks for something. Say that you spent it out the other night with some 20 year old strippers and that your money won't come until next month.

[Sirbergan]

"My partner is nearly 40th years younger then me."

Perhaps post in the gay section because this is a discussion about his wife not a "partner"

The point the other posters were talking about applies to heterosexual relationships with foreign men and Thai women.

1950 just called. They miss you.

[coulson]

I have to tell that the argument with my wife started again this time, after meeting a retired farang with his new wife, he met and got married after 2 months here. Both in their 50s.

He mentioned before to me that his wife and wife's family were modest farmers, and his wife wanted him to build a new house on her land, and bought more land... I said nothing, but when we met again for this dinner, this time with his wife, he mentioned that he just bought a new car and was in her wife name, because his wife told him that was the only way. Now he was ready to buy a new truck, and his wife again told him that needs to have it in her name. Because this time we were al together, I noticed that he was confuse about all that, and that his wife was doing everything to get most of the new relationship, and very fast...

I told him that he can have my advice about money affairs if he wanted.

When I commented with my wife my feelings about, she reacted saying that, if my friend have the money to spend, is good for his wife to have it, and that is what all her girlfriends do....etc..etc...

I went balistic.

By continuing to attend these lunches you seem to be just aggravating your situation further.

[zeichen]

"1950 just called. They miss you."

Haha my father wasn't even born then. I am much younger than that.

If you actually think men and women have the same motivation for dating, ideal partner and that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are defined, built and maintained by the same criteria, then you really need to get out and talk to people.

Do you really think that a young Thai boy dating and old foreign man really is a good base for comparison to the OP's situation?

[ttthailand]

"No not at all, I know the difference. What I am saying is that when you first meet someone you either get that feeling of physical attraction or there is no spark. That spark is what brings people together and starts the love process."

Actually you don't as your explanation proves it. That spark is sexual not emotional. Love doesn't need that spark of physical attraction. There needs to be a connection but it doesn't have to be physical.

Also your ageist comments that younger guys will more likely find true love is just ridiculous.

Sex does not equal love but it is clear it does to you.

hahaha.... The love expert

If no spark no connection....

Perhaps your definition of spark is something you feel in your pants.... Sorry you are lost in your own sexual world. The spark I feel is a feeling, a connection, a desire for much more than just sex. But no use in explaining to someone who try's to define and twists words and meanings.... Rant over

[BFerearnk]

"1950 just called. They miss you."

Haha my father wasn't even born then. I am much younger than that.

If you actually think men and women have the same motivation for dating, ideal partner and that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are defined, built and maintained by the same criteria, then you really need to get out and talk to people.

Do you really think that a young Thai boy dating and old foreign man really is a good base for comparison to the OP's situation?

It's not about our relation, it's simply to explain that a relation should be build on a solid base and not on the sexual disiire (mostly the man) from the first spark.

Yes its the first WAW that makes you or her/he to move (most times), but then it's to feel if you make it a one-night stand or her/his inside (little talk) makes it wurt to go on.

The folowing encounters can prove it are not.

If a older man date a younger lady/man or visaversa is NOT the same then a dating between two young people.

The first is to have pretty companie and have sombody if he become very old to take care (man side) and for the young lady/man a more,lets say, social need. Young people dates needs not to be explain, everybody knows, live must go on. Well between us its the first that count,so it's on the same base then the OP. That is to be recognize and need a more solid base.

By the way, he did not date me or I him. It was just two people and a beer (his nick is Beer) on the right place at the right time. Our WAW came a little later with a other beer. We call it luck.

[coulson]

It was just two people and a beer (his nick is Beer)

Poor beer getting tag teamed on a first date

[balo]

Did OP meet his wife in a bar ? Not all thai women are like that. Find someone that do not care about material things . A teacher or someone intellectual . Hard to find I know.

[Kitsune]

There is no romance in Thai culture.

Romanticism derives from 19th century French poets and this is what Westerners are about when they marry.

Marriage is a contract here. Marrying for love is an incongruity.

We have forum full on this very topic

Get used to it.

[ozzieovaseas]

"She get very upset, telling me that it is not the same. She said that Thai women expect benefits in a marriage, and men needs to give "benefits" in exchange of having women in bed and taking care of its needs."

Now see, this is a conversation better to have had before getting married...

Exactly. I dont understand what goes on in these guys heads. Surely they must have known what the women was like before they married.

I can understand the frustration when these other bltches get together and BS to each other. I can tell straight away when my GF has been around those types, she comes home in a plssed off mood.

The only way around it is to find some way to keep her away from the vultures .moove far away or something

Actually the best thing to do when you start a relationship with a Thai woman is tell her your more or less living month to month..ie waiting for monthly pension or rent money or whatever.

They can either believe it and stay with you or P.O.Q

either way you win!

[samuibeachcomber]

"If she says because you are handsome or that you excite her then I think you are on the right track"

I think that you are confusing sexual desire with love which isn't uncommon for most foreign men here.

No not at all, I know the difference. What I am saying is that when you first meet someone you either get that feeling of physical attraction or there is no spark. That spark is what brings people together and starts the love process. Here in Thailand we see too much financial attraction that has little to do with the physical and everything to do with the material.

money(taking care ) is what is uppermost in thai ladies minds.For them love (emotional) is not so important,its ok just to like the guy who will be taking care of them in the future.In some relationships there is love ,but see how much love remains if the money ever runs out! ( a good lady would try and take care if this ever happened especially if you have provided security for her in the form of land/house etc)

the most important thing to do when embarking on a serious relationship is to set the ground rules right at the beginning both from a financial point of view,and also establishing whose going to "wear the pants"this should make for a smoother path in the future.

[AZBill]

She's got a point. Don't see how Thai girls are any different than American women. If you can't provide then suffer the consequences of an unhappy wife. Don't have a problem with it.