Security Guards

[jdinasia]

Geeze Kat ....

well I will agree with at least one post you have made .... you are suffering from culture shock! <you'll adjust sometime I am sure!>

[kat]

No, JD, some of us are honest and analytical, and some us are just clueless and full of themselves.

Which one are you?

[meemiathai]

Security guards in most of the world are crap.

Now I am going to take offense. I am my wife's security guard!

My friend owns a security company and does most of sydney's night clubs.

They are not even allowed to punch anyone or they can get sued.

They are only allowed to push and thats it.

That's funny. Try messing around in the one Disco (a dodgy one) I occasionally go to and one is going to stay horizontal for a week. Well the ones who are in uniform aren't going to get involved though.

[Roamin]

None of which I have experienced in my condo. Our condo security guards are friendly, polite, helpful and I haven't seen them asleep no matter how late I come home (rarely I come home before midnight though). If you find them to be too obnoxious and feel offended by their attitudes, you shouldn't hesitate to report this to the condominium management team or juristic person committee member, even though it may seem like trivial a matter. I am a committee member of my own condo and we welcome this kind of complaints.

You've got good security guards because your condo has got good management. Guards know exactly what they can get away with. If management is poor guards will take advantage, sit on their backsides, smoke, play radios, entertain women at night, drink, pee in the garden, sleep. You name it, I've seen it in places I've lived. There was one guy who got the sack but he hung around the property, even slept on the property. Management did nothing. He was eventually got rid of when condo next door got wind of him mooching around there.

IMHO guards and staff should be treated for what they are - staff who are (supposed) to provide services to the co-owners. It does not do co-owners or tenants any good to show friendliness to them.

[That kid Chris]

I did not say I looked like Halle Berry. I simply said that there are many "middle-aged" women that don't conform to the image that you tried to use as a SLUR, and I don't either.

And yes, you are a f*cking creep if you would even think to make a comment like that.

You should loose the chip on your shoulder and enjoy life a little more, so what if someone looks at you, that fact that you walk past him and think that you are superior to him because of his age and profession may have something to do with the way he look's at you.

You are very good at finding problem's but not so good with solutions.

And just because i don't find you attractive doesn't make me a " f*cking creep" it just means I don't find you attractive, I can accept people for what they are, warts and all.

[kat]

This is what I mean. My OP had NOTHING to do with you or him, or anyone finding me attractive. It also had nothing to do with a chip on my shoulder or feeling superior.

That's all YOU.

[That kid Chris]

This is what I mean. My OP had NOTHING to do with you or him, or anyone finding me attractive. It also had nothing to do with a chip on my shoulder or feeling superior.

That's all YOU.

I am superior.

[jdinasia]

No, JD, some of us are honest and analytical, and some us are just clueless and full of themselves.

Which one are you?

Kat ... don't get testy! I am agreeing with you! It must be culture shock! I think eventually you may adjust to it! <though to be honest I would say I am of the first group you mentioned and you are not >

[Roamin]

None of which I have experienced in my condo. Our condo security guards are friendly, polite, helpful and I haven't seen them asleep no matter how late I come home (rarely I come home before midnight though). If you find them to be too obnoxious and feel offended by their attitudes, you shouldn't hesitate to report this to the condominium management team or juristic person committee member, even though it may seem like trivial a matter. I am a committee member of my own condo and we welcome this kind of complaints.

You've got good security guards because your condo has got good management. Guards know exactly what they can get away with. If management is poor guards will take advantage, sit on their backsides, smoke, play radios, entertain women at night, drink, pee in the garden, sleep. You name it, I've seen it in places I've lived. There was one guy who got the sack but he hung around the property, even slept on the property. Management did nothing. He was eventually got rid of when condo next door got wind of him mooching around there.

IMHO guards and staff should be treated for what they are - staff who are (supposed) to provide services to the co-owners. It does not do co-owners or tenants any good to show friendliness to them.

Forgot to ask you - what guard company do you use and how much do they charge?

[meemiathai]

Does the word sensitive have a negative meaning?

I was thinking it was something good to be "sensitive"?

[kat]

JD, you operate more like an employee or gofer for the Ministry of Culture, where all differences and cognitive dissonance are imagined or on the part of the foreigner.

Potshots and dismissing differences rather than discussing them is the antithesis of analysis. I think you also have a major diva complex, but that's just my personal opinion.

You are about as analytical as a mosquito.

That's all I'm going to say to you here.

[jdinasia]

Geeeze ... you cannot even AGREE with her and get a break!

YOU said it was culture shock Kat ... not once but twice!

Edited September 13, 2006 by jdinasia

[kat]

This is what I mean. My OP had NOTHING to do with you or him, or anyone finding me attractive. It also had nothing to do with a chip on my shoulder or feeling superior.

That's all YOU.

I am superior.

To what, a dimming light bulb. Thanks for accusing me of an attitude that you go on to display.

[That kid Chris]

JD, you operate more like an employee or gofer for the Ministry of Culture, where all differences and cognitive dissonance are imagined or on the part of the foreigner.

Potshots and dismissing differences rather than discussing them is the antithesis of analysis. I think you also have a major diva complex, but that's just my personal opinion.

You are about as analytical as a mosquito.

That's all I'm going to say to you here.

Is this not what you are doing with this post?

[kat]

Chris the kid:

No, it's not, because I am responding to his attempt at condescension and flames for no other reason other than my point of view.

You on the other hand, started out by trying to make an underhanded attack on an issue that was not even an issue in my op. Let's go back to the beginning, shall we:

Read my first post. I was talking about a pattern. You seem to be a bit cranky about the fact that I mentioned the man was middle-aged. This was NOT a value statement about middle-aged men. I also mentioned that already. It is simply a reality in LOS that people act according to an age hierarchy, and as a woman here, I've noticed a distinct pattern among men in this age group.

Got it? For a change, some of you should listen and learn. I am not trying to insult anyone, but merely trying to talk about experiences that have happened. From my perspective of living here, middle-aged and older Thai men interact much differently with me than younger men. Hence, the mention of age and the "proprietary" attitude I mentioned. Get it? geez ...

I am speaking from a female perspective and experience in LOS. Some of us do have them you know. There are other women who have posted similar things here, and men who have talked about similar situations with their girlfriends/wives. Why do you feel the need to attack me?

As I said, your issues.

[That kid Chris]

You are the one who called me a " f*cking creep" just because I mentioned you are middle aged(which you are).

My first post on this thread was light hearted but i guess that didn't reach your head due to that chip on your shoulder.

If you think that I am attacking you with a few light hearted comments this reinforces what someone else said about you being (over)sensitive.

You are your own worst enemy Kat, chill out a bit and relax.

[kat]

Whatever, Chris. If you cannot read things as they occur and be honest about it, there's nothing more to say to you. You come on here and try to use a comment as a slur, and then say I've got a chip on my shoulder.

I've already got plenty of friends, so your skewed judgement holds very little value.

[t.s]

for what it is worth i too have had a sense of the loss of anonymity you mention, it is inevitable when you use the motorcycle taxi guys ,employ a maid, shop at local stores etc. I

I know the contents of my house have been reported throughout the neighborhood, as have many of my actions.

It is annoying to ride to work monday morning and have someone "innocently" ask if you had a relaxing weekend when you know they know what time you got home the night previous.

likewise, i do get snide and knowing grins when in thai female company, though it only concerns me insofar as it may be disrespectful to whomever i may be with.

it is par for the course though, and, as i see it an extension of the moo-ban mentality, where everybody else's business is the chief form of entertainment.

Oh and perhaps you are right to be nervous, a female friend of mine called me at 5 am one morning in tears asking if i could come by.

she had been going crazy trying to figure out how she was hemorraging money. she would go to the atm, take out 5000 baht go shopping, spend 2000 and come home. The next morning she would have 1 or 2000 baht. we all thought she was on crack until that morning she woke up early to find the building's security guard rummaging through her purse in the living room.

luckily the cowrard simply ran away and never manned his post again, but the response from building managment and the police was, to say the least, underwhelming.

[kat]

Wow. That has been my worst nightmare. My lock is not very good. That is why I have started moving my purse into my bedroom and locking the door. I appreciate your comments, because it reminds me not to become too complacent.

Thanks for focusing on the topic T.S., and not turning me into the topic like so many do here.

There are a lot of good stories, but there are also a lot of nightmare stories because of the lack of standards and enforcements.

Edited September 13, 2006 by kat

[SamuiJens]

Isn't this post about a scared little girl that needs attention? IMHO

[SamuiJens]

And Im NOT putting you down, please beleive me!

[terry57]

Dear Kat,

There are 6 billion people on this planet, so why let trivial things like that ruin your mood.

You are a very sensitive woman I can tell. I was brought up by my single-parent mother who is a very very sensitive woman too. So I know exactly what you are talking about and I feel sorry for you. But bear in mind not everyone is as sensitive. So maybe that guy doesn't even know what is happening. Also lack of communication might have you mis-interpret his intensions.(I'm just saying maybe ) Maybe he is really a jerk! They do exist, I know in plentiful! Anyway you are leaving soon, so I am not going to suggest anyway of dealing with the situation.

BTW, I am a bit jealous about the fact that Chris having met you and me haven't. It's a shame really.

If you ever do come to HK, please let me know. I am going to tell you that I am gay(although I in fact am a lesbian trapped inside a man's body) and see how playfully flirtatious the way you dance. No worries, it won't be taken seriously. Or is it you really have the power to turn gay men straight?

Just kidding.

a nice little side trip to hong kong on the way home seems good kat.

at least you wont have to worry about being hit on.

security gaurds at his place are most prob'ly more friendly as well.

have a good trip kat.

And when is your coming to HK, terry?

well my friend,

its funny you ask that, as i will be in hong kong on the 1st of november for 2 weeks and im staying in mongkok, kowloon.

im a real friendly punter, but only bat for the one team so to speak but are friendly to all punters.

cheers friend

[meemiathai]

I will buy you a drink if you have time for me!

Talk to you somewhere else(not wanting to hijack this thread) later.

[Cent]

t.s.,

Your post (#78) I feel hits this right on the mark in your examples.

"for what it is worth i too have had a sense of the loss of anonymity you mention, it is inevitable when you use the motorcycle taxi guys ,employ a maid, shop at local stores etc."

Very true and spot on. We are farang and Thais tend to watch what we do, are curious how we behave, what we buy (walk around in the supermarket and watch how many Thais check out what you have in your shopping cart), who we are with, what time we come home and who we come home with. We are a topic of conversation in our neighborhoods and a curiousity to many Thais for whatever reasons. (Some are extremely nosy and love to gossip. Some wonder where we fit in to their society, what level we occupy.)

"I know the contents of my house have been reported throughout the neighborhood, as have many of my actions."

Yes, for certain, and I hate that.

"likewise, i do get snide and knowing grins when in thai female company, though it only concerns me insofar as it may be disrespectful to whomever i may be with."

I get this sometimes from the motocyke driver dregs and tuk-tuk layabouts when with my wife. Some of these guys are extremely rude and if it happened back in the states they would get laid out for their comments. Here you'll end up fighting half the soi if you take exception and get physical.

"it is par for the course though, and, as i see it an extension of the moo-ban mentality, where everybody else's business is the chief form of entertainment."

This above I feel is the most intelligent statement in this thread so far and totally correct in its assessment of this experience many farang have when living in Thailand or just visting even.

"Oh and perhaps you are right to be nervous, a female friend of mine called me at 5 am one morning in tears asking if i could come by. she had been going crazy trying to figure out how she was hemorraging money. she would go to the atm, take out 5000 baht go shopping, spend 2000 and come home. The next morning she would have 1 or 2000 baht. we all thought she was on crack until that morning she woke up early to find the building's security guard rummaging through her purse in the living room."

This happens quite a bit, and is likely one reason the last security guard batch was dismissed and another hired (I know quite a few friends who have had this happen in their buildings). It happens quite often that robberies in the condos and buildings are an 'inside job'. I know a few people who had their apartments burgled and the police and others were pretty sure it was the guards themselves or others they spoke with/arranged this with to let know about the condo's contents and when it would be safe to break in. I would never tell the security guards I was leaving for a long period of time. One man I know lost quite a bit of money and coins and stuff he had in his condo when he went back to the states for a few weeks. I believe the staff all knew he was leaving for a long period. And this example you cite t.s. goes to show how dangerous this could be. If he was interested in the woman as well as the money he could easily come back some night when drunk and rape the woman as well as steal from her. It happens. These are not professionals. (This is why many Thais in apartments and condos have a large Yale-style lock and hasp inside their apartment/condo door that they can lock up before going to sleep. Look around yourselves and see how many Thais homes and condos/apartments are locked up like Fort Knox at night.)

"luckily the cowrard simply ran away and never manned his post again, but the response from building managment and the police was, to say the least, underwhelming."

Typical a lot of the time, and they do seem to get away with it by running away to the hinterlands and hide out until they feel the coast is clear. Much like the drivers who run off after an accident as well to hide out.

-----------------------------

KAT,

I know what you are saying and what you are experiencing. It can be disconcerting at times. It does feel invasive and like some Thais do not know where the line should be in their curiosity about farangs (and other Thais as well). I've seen it as well and sometimes it bugs me! It is a culture clash to some extent. Hasn't anyone else here ever wanted to turn to a Thai and say, "What the hel_l are you staring at?" We farang find this rude and intrusive. I have many times wanted to say this. Some Thais ( a lot in my eyes) don't seem to see this as rude for some reason. We farang do at times and it can feel weird when people do this. And I know what you are saying about the middle-aged guard. I've seen this attitude and behavior myself from Thai men, and not just the older guys either. Trust your gut feelings and go with them. A lot of the time they are right on. I'll say this (and don't take it the wrong way-it's not about you): many Thai men see women who go out alone, especially late at night, as somehow being floozies and 'asking for it' or loose. I do feel many/some Thai men feel western women have loose morals. They wonder why you would be going out at night alone or unchaperoned. Many Thai women will not do that themselves, and for good reason I feel. If you just read the papers here daily and especially the Thai papers (I can't read Thai, but my wife tells me the horror stories that are in there almost daily) you see bad stuff happening all over, and mostly to women, women alone. I know this is an attitude some Thai men have.

And yes, some of these guys just give off a vibe of being overly paternalistic, or condescending, disapproving, or just damned creepy.

JMHO.

Good luck Kat.

Cent

Edited September 13, 2006 by Cent

[chonabot]

Kat, if I come over and give this security guard a kick in the balls, can we close this thread ?

[jdinasia]

Kat, if I come over and give this security guard a kick in the balls, can we close this thread ?

but what if the guy 'smiles'?

[chonabot]

Kat, if I come over and give this security guard a kick in the balls, can we close this thread ?

but what if the guy 'smiles'?

Smile number # ?

Edited September 13, 2006 by chonabot

[AmeriThai]

Kat, if I come over and give this security guard a kick in the balls, can we close this thread ?

but what if the guy 'smiles'?

Smile number # ?

Smile #5, 19, or 42.

[terry57]

I will buy you a drink if you have time for me!

Talk to you somewhere else(not wanting to hijack this thread) later.

no worries mate, we can have a nice drink.

[kat]

KAT,

I know what you are saying and what you are experiencing. It can be disconcerting at times. It does feel invasive and like some Thais do not know where the line should be in their curiosity about farangs (and other Thais as well). I've seen it as well and sometimes it bugs me! It is a culture clash to some extent. Hasn't anyone else here ever wanted to turn to a Thai and say, "What the hel_l are you staring at?" We farang find this rude and intrusive. I have many times wanted to say this. Some Thais ( a lot in my eyes) don't seem to see this as rude for some reason. We farang do at times and it can feel weird when people do this. And I know what you are saying about the middle-aged guard. I've seen this attitude and behavior myself from Thai men, and not just the older guys either. Trust your gut feelings and go with them. A lot of the time they are right on. I'll say this (and don't take it the wrong way-it's not about you): many Thai men see women who go out alone, especially late at night, as somehow being floozies and 'asking for it' or loose. I do feel many/some Thai men feel western women have loose morals. They wonder why you would be going out at night alone or unchaperoned. Many Thai women will not do that themselves, and for good reason I feel. If you just read the papers here daily and especially the Thai papers (I can't read Thai, but my wife tells me the horror stories that are in there almost daily) you see bad stuff happening all over, and mostly to women, women alone. I know this is an attitude some Thai men have.

And yes, some of these guys just give off a vibe of being overly paternalistic, or condescending, disapproving, or just damned creepy.

JMHO.

Good luck Kat.

Cent

Thanks for that Cent. For everything.

*(I love your avatar. Is that Zappa?)

Edited September 13, 2006 by kat