Stars Say Thaksin Better Off Bemoaning His Lot In A Faraway Land

[Jai Dee]

Stars say PM better off bemoaning his lot in a faraway land

A dark fate has befallen our dear caretaker Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, as he now has to be away from home and separated from the 16 million Thais he loves.

Nobody is sure how long Thaksin will stay abroad after leaving for Helsinki last week and staying over in London. His next trip will be to Cuba before he travels on to New York. In the interim, he has no plans to return to his Baan Chan Song La (shiny moon home) in Thon Buri.

After all he has done for Thailand, Thaksin cannot understand why so many people hate him so much. They even planted a car bomb to kill him. They are also plotting a coup to remove him from power. What has gone wrong with Thai people? Can't they be kinder and gentler? How could they enlist the help of that dummy Ja Yak, who can hardly differentiate between fried rice and noodles, to mastermind the plot? If they really want him out of office, why don't they just come to him wearing full combat gear with a blank letter for him to sign?

If Thais are so mean, he might just stay away from Thailand forever and they can kiss his populist policies and other freebies goodbye. As he quipped to leaders at the Asia-Europe Summit, he might set up an "Enjoy Your Life Party". He has, after all, not yet had a chance to spend any of the Bt73.3 billion made during the Shin Corp sale because he has been too busy looking after the welfare of the Thai people. Probably, he has worked too hard.

When you are down, you are down - that is fate, dictated by the stars above. Since Thaksin's duang (fortune) is dropping like a dead star, he must endure the suffering.

So what did E Thi (or ET), a disabled Burmese astrologer, tell him? Well, first that he should stay away from the Kingdom between September 8 and 22, because there are eclipses during this time. These eclipses could cast a dark pall over his duang. If he manages to endure the long journey and all of his sufferings in foreign lands, he would, after September 29, emerge with renewed energy. His duang will then shine like a bright star. He will once again become invincible. But at this point, he isn't sure himself how long he will have to sleep in strange places and stay away from Thailand.

Most Thai politicians like to visit ET and have her tell their fortunes. She is so sharp and accurate that she can even tell the numbers of the banknotes in your pocket. If you would like to know more about ET, visit The Irrawaddy's website. You can see that Thaksin has never abandoned his people. From Helsinki, he wrote a one-page letter, in his own hand, to say hello to the Thai people and Thai Rak Thai members and to tell them what he has been doing on their behalf in the global forum. No other leader has ever tried to reach out to Thai people like that.

He used to speak to the Thai people every Saturday on the radio. Now he is going to write them, Government House spokesman Dr Surapong Suebwonglee pointed out, three to four letters a month. Thais who are Internet-ready at home might even be able to exchange emails with the PM or chat with him online.

But he may want to show off his poetic skills. Remember Sunthorn Phu, Rattanakosin's greatest poet?

Whenever he travelled, he wrote a nirat (travel tale) to express his feelings of solitude and sorrow at having to part from the ones he loved and from the misfortunes he suffered. Thaksin's next communication with the Thai people could be a nirat in the style of Sunthorn Phu. Here we go:

Nirat London

By Your Prime Minister

O, my sorrowful fate and my misfortune,

I have to extend my long stay in London.

I know not when I have to return home,

For they have bought me a one-way ticket.

I have to suffer the solitude in my villa

Near the Thames but far away from the Chao Phaya.

With my dear "Aim" and my faithful entourage,

We eat fish and chips and miss som tam badly.

In Helsinki, it was so cold and dark.

I searched in futile for the Finland Plot,

Which had long been buried under the glaciers.

The global leaders all liked my wit.

I would set up the Enjoy Your Life Party

And enjoy the loot from Shin Corp.

Bravo, democracy! Bravo, Ample Rich!

I wrote you a love letter from a lost heart.

They no longer love me at home.

They drove a car bomb near Chan Song La

And planned to set off the bomb to kill democracy.

I narrowly escaped the attempt on my life.

I want to make a movie out of this plot

To tell the whole world how bad we all are.

Then they want to stage a coup

Before I can declare any emergency laws.

I may have to form a government in exile,

Like the old Seri Thai Movement.

British Virgins Island and Cayman Island

Should be the first to become our allies.

Even my closest friends are shying away.

Where is Somsak? Where is Suriya?

They are picking up their knives.

Somkid, Surakiart and Sudarat want to be my heir.

They know not that I trust no one.

I speak to you with a lonely heart.

I know not when the election will come by.

What the heck with it if I have 16 million votes.

But my journey will never end until it really ends.

I shall fly off to Cuba before heading to New York.

My misfortune is hovering above me.

I have to pray for my energy,

Before I bounce back with renewed vitality.

I shall be back to give you my Otop present -

One Thaksin, One Pojamarn!

Editorial Opinion by Thanong Khanthong - The Nation - 15 September 2006

[baboon]

Siberia, I believe is most agreeable at the moment. Classic post by the way!