Reality Check (Family First)

[BEVUP]

will try & keep this logical

Married 8 yrs with 1 lad of our own

Build house on wifes land & own all

Own 2 motor bikes

Own Vigo basic ute - 8 yrs old

Bought another house in center of Korat (low end of prices ) & thought i was smashing the repayments & all paid for (But wrong )

Have gold (jewelry )

So After 8 Yrs

About to lose First house 3,000,000 Bht

Motor bikes Hocked 15,000 x 2

Car - 48 mth x 10,000 p/mth (has paid 25 mths)

Gold 60,000 to return

STILL Owe 950,000 bht on 2nd house (should own )

All this after 8 yrs not to mention other loans

COULD JUST LEAVE & STUFF THE LOT & SEND MONEY FOR SON

OR

Save our 2nd & only house now (intention was to give son when wise )

Maybe save car - but getting on

Save one motor bike as it is new

Also would like to know if there are any professional exterminators around as i am having a problem with a big rat sneaking around pressuring the wife to throw everything at it

[sanuk711]

will try & keep this logical----OP

I take it your saying your wife has an occasional flutter on the cards........

If not I'm lost

Edited June 28, 2015 by sanuk711

[BEVUP]

will try & keep this logical----OP

I take it your saying your wife has an occasional flutter on the cards........

If not I'm lost

NO

She doesnt drink, smoke or gamble

Family member wanted to buy house & equipment for small buisness

[cooked]

Sorry, I can't work out what is happening. Are you getting divorced, if so, why?

[Ghostnigel]

You say you will try and be logical? Don't understand any of it, what you trying to say? Be logical.....

[Jessi]

He is being logical, I think?

Wife family are trying to <deleted>%$ him over, not uncommon here.

Take off in the pick up & dont look back.

Grab the gold on your way out the door.

[samuibeachcomber]

And why is this all happening?You have n't said.Can probably guess though.

Any way your original house on your wife's land is n't yours,and if you used it as collateral for 2 nd. house then the finance is built on quicksand.

If you have been rolled by your in laws take what you can and move on,your son will be well looked after by the family in the thai way.

[kerrysum]

Personally,

I would try to find a good financial adviser, like.... Maybe other than your family? I understand you love your son, but he isn't the real reason this is happening, is it?

Old saying.... Never go broke to please family, otherwise sadness may dwell, and wallet may shrink....

[JacChang]

Sometimes in life, we have too many things coming at us at the same time, causing confusion and stress.

But I have figured out the cause of all your problems.

It's the big fat rat in your house. Kill it asap. Do whatever you must do.

[recycler]

The rats are easy, these traps are for sale in many places.

Not sure what size you'll need to trap your in-laws...

[bazza40]

Get out with what you can. Thais have far more access to the Thai mafia than a falang ever will, so thoughts of retaliation are unwise. Go. Now.

[quandow]

Has your wife borrowed money against all your assets? I have seen time and time again Thai ladies borrowing against "shared" assets. It's much easier and more clandestine than selling the stuff and they keep it all.

If this is the case, run away as fast as you can. As bazza40 posted above mine, they can hurt or "disappear" you and nothing will happen to them.

[bluebluewater]

I can't make a whole lot of sense out of the OP either. I'm guessing, as have others, that her family is trying to stiff him. Probably she is helping them.

Who is surprised?

OP says he thought the second house was bought and paid for but now finds out that is not the case. That tells me right there that he wife is doing him in and he didn't do the back checking he should have and was blissfully asleep at the switch.

Good Luck

[Tony125]

Bad situation you got yourself into. Never blindly trust ANYONE You said you thought payments on second house were done but find out now you still owe 950,000 baht . Why ? Because she did not make the payments or re-financed the place? Should have put house and land in your son's name if you really wanted it for his future. If you can't do that now take the new bike and leave! Divorice her and see if you maybe can get something back in 50/50 split court will order. Rent a home or condo somewhere and enjoy whats left of your life .

[EmptyHead]

How did you end up in this pickle?

[torpedo1970]

Extended family!! we all know the story.... been there done that and put the foot down....

it is a game of smoke and mirror as always in Asia, ju just have to play it so no-body loose face and you get to keep money....

looks like you got yourself too far down the "rabbit-hole" so i would say you should go into "save whatever you can mode" and run, run as fast as you can...

take a breather and discuss with your partner about reasonable sharing of the cost of bringing up your son...

good luck

[MaeJoMTB]

Has your wife borrowed money against all your assets? I have seen time and time again Thai ladies borrowing against "shared" assets. It's much easier and more clandestine than selling the stuff and they keep it all.

If this is the case, run away as fast as you can. As bazza40 posted above mine, they can hurt or "disappear" you and nothing will happen to them.

It's probably happening in 50% of the households where a foreign guy buys a property (or two, or three).

I can't believe how often I have seen it.

Often the 'real' Thai husband is the one getting the cash from the loans.

PS

My wife isn't different, I made her get a bank loan for her house, I just provided the 10% deposit and the monthly payments.

Let her try and steal from the bank ............

Edited June 29, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

How did you end up in this pickle?

Your TV name answers your question.

[petermik]

How did you end up in this pickle?

How did you end up in this pickle?

Your TV name answers your question.

..............................to the OP walk/run away-you know it makes sense

[quandow]

Has your wife borrowed money against all your assets? I have seen time and time again Thai ladies borrowing against "shared" assets. It's much easier and more clandestine than selling the stuff and they keep it all.

If this is the case, run away as fast as you can. As bazza40 posted above mine, they can hurt or "disappear" you and nothing will happen to them.

It's probably happening in 50% of the households where a foreign guy buys a property (or two, or three).

I can't believe how often I have seen it.

Often the 'real' Thai husband is the one getting the cash from the loans.

PS

My wife isn't different, I made her get a bank loan for her house, I just provided the 10% deposit and the monthly payments.

Let her try and steal from the bank ............

The problem with this strategy is the girls will take out loans from shady loan sharks, no paperwork, just the promise that payments will be made, and when they fall behind, out come the terrorist tactics. Saw this happen to the tune of baht 11 million. My British friend escaped with his life, but that was all. The farm (literally) wound up in the hands of these loan sharks.

[little mary sunshine]

You know the old saying about "A fool and his money....

Soon parted"

[henry15]

I would like to correct you, You did not buy anything you provided the money, if your name is not in the Chanotte or on the invoices . So you own nothing.

[BEVUP]

Why is all this happening ? Wife that has been pressured to help family (with out my knowledge )

Owned first house, out right .Brother ( has wife & kids) mortgaged signing Chanute over to man (house now gone ), He wasnt paying

Bought second house 50 % Dep. & sent rest in cash over 6 mths (most went to brother), again not know till to late , Brother wasnt paying- but can maybe save OR RUN AS SUGGESTED

Car hocked (not know where) in hands of brother - He pays but some times late - still have in the drive way

Not know where bikes are hocked but still have

Not know which shop the gold is in

As for divorce that is out of the question as i do not want to end up with half the debt

Oh Yes i know it all isnt mine but a marriage is togetherness - maybe if it was the other way round a few of you may lose some dangling bits

Yes i do love my son & wanted some security for him & us when we get old just like everyday normal people but as suggested RUN BORIS RUN as im just pouring good money after bad

Just dont want son to end up a buffaloe boy riding motor bikes all day

Now wife says want listen to family again (not know who was calling the shots as mother is old)

After she told me all this i told her you had it all & now have nothing

[Gracas]

OP you may love your wife, but she has let all this happen. As you said she had all now she has nothing. She may have pressure from the family, but there comes a time where she must say enough is enough OR if not its time for you to move on.

I know it is easy to say (hard for you to do), but if it was me I would have already left, she went way past the limit.

[12DrinkMore]

Write it all off and get out, things will only get worse.

None of the property or debt is in your name.

[huawei]

You need to leave that environment if only for the good of your son. The lost of money is a consequence of other actions. Those other actions will always exist..

[MaeJoMTB]

Bought second house 50 % Dep. & sent rest in cash over 6 mths (most went to brother), again not know till to late , Brother wasnt paying- but can maybe save OR RUN AS SUGGESTED

As suggested, the chances of this guy being her brother are slim.

[jacky54]

Not a bad haul by these crook after 8 years.

[EmptyHead]

Yeah, the brother sounds like the real husband.

Is there anything stopping you from taking your son and walking out?

[benalibina]

Write it all off and get out, things will only get worse.

None of the property or debt is in your name.

Write it all off.......<deleted> a child is not a car or mbike...its a human being.....jeeezzzz some posters....