Thai "Blues"is it normal?

[rgs2001uk]

If anything that happened in Bangkok last year sent you scurrying to the airport in fear, perhaps Thailand isn't for you.

There was nothing that happened last year year sent me scurrying in fear, having worked in some shythole locations throughout the world, personally I couldnt see the ploblem.

However my Thai mrs saw it somewhat differently.

The mrs will be glad to know you said her country aint for her.

By the way were you here in 2010, or maybe 1973?

Do you have a Thai mrs?

If yes then you will understand.

All the above is a moot point, its about having options.

[SoiBiker]

Sorry. I forgot you had to have married a Thai to post on this boys club forum.

I'll pipe down now.

[BudRight]

What's wrong with Thailand having major flaws? The West has them. Why can't Thailand have flaws that make it a poor choice to do specific things? What about Thai expats who move to the West. Are they failures for not living up to your expectations?

Should they have remained in Thailand and cultivated expat double-think in the form of fortune cookie bullshit like "everywhere you go, there you are?" Even my Bangkok landlord lives in California.

People have unrealistic expectations about what they are legally and socially allowed to do and accomplish in Thailand. Thais face classism, racism (based on complexion), and political prejudice. Non-Thais face some of the former plus gross legal antipathy. Noticing that doesn't make someone a pessimist and moving somewhere to accomplish personal goals doesn't make them a failure.

As for you Soutpeel, will you stop posting when you move abroad? I didn't think so.

[AYJAYDEE]

When you read these bashing posts, consider that they may be from a loser who has given up on trying to adapt to somewhere other then their "good old home town".

Loads of long time 'apologists' seem to be having problems these days.

Weegee, BEVUP, the OP, etc.

I'm thinking the worsening political and economic climate is having serious knock on effects on all Thais and therefore foreigners lives here.

I realized Thailand was a serious shithole after about 6 months here, but all I care about is hookers and mountain biking.

You can keep your head stuck in the sand, but I'm ready to grab my passport and run at a moments notice.

and he sooner the better for all

[Soutpeel]

What's wrong with Thailand having major flaws? The West has them. Why can't Thailand have flaws that make it a poor choice to do specific things? What about Thai expats who move to the West. Are they failures for not living up to your expectations?

Should they have remained in Thailand and cultivated expat double-think in the form of fortune cookie bullshit like "everywhere you go, there you are?" Even my Bangkok landlord lives in California.

People have unrealistic expectations about what they are legally and socially allowed to do and accomplish in Thailand. Thais face classism, racism (based on complexion), and political prejudice. Non-Thais face some of the former plus gross legal antipathy. Noticing that doesn't make someone a pessimist and moving somewhere to accomplish personal goals doesn't make them a failure.

As for you Soutpeel, will you stop posting when you move abroad? I didn't think so.

Correct, but having worked in many countries all over the world I don't sit on "NameAcountryVisa.com" slagging the place off years after I departed said country, its over its gone, life moves on, its in the past..

People who continually keep going on about a "past life" in a country they no longer live obviously have issues and lack of closure on that period of their lives for some reason and the fact they feel obligated to keep slagging a place off suggests they didn't leave voluntarily or things didn't work out the way they expected

an analogy is like Hollywoods obsession with re-telling the "Vietnam war" and introducing characters like Rambo/Chuck Norris into the plot lines....keep telling the stories like this and you may eventually convince people the whole Vietnam war was a success

Seems to me people who have left Thailand, keep popping up on TV, slagging the place off and finding fault is because they are seeking vindication of their own failures, "see it wasn't my fault, I failed in Thailand, It was because the Thai are racist,classist, are prejudiced "

Your post is a perfect example of this

[metisdead]

Some off topic posts have been removed.

[Franky Bear]

When you read these bashing posts, consider that they may be from a loser who has given up on trying to adapt to somewhere other then their "good old home town".

Loads of long time 'apologists' seem to be having problems these days.

Weegee, BEVUP, the OP, etc.

I'm thinking the worsening political and economic climate is having serious knock on effects on all Thais and therefore foreigners lives here.

I realized Thailand was a serious shithole after about 6 months here, but all I care about is hookers and mountain biking.

You can keep your head stuck in the sand, but I'm ready to grab my passport and run at a moments notice.

I've been through 4 coups and 3 wars here. Today is fine except for those without significant experience in South East Asia. I withheld my judgement on Thailand for the first ten years as I realized I was not in the country long enough to really know what was going on.

Nice to see you, to see you nice.

You really should head down to Rayong, theres at least 5 former members on here used to tell the same stories, you would get on really well with them.

That's where I am

[BudRight]

What's wrong with Thailand having major flaws? The West has them. Why can't Thailand have flaws that make it a poor choice to do specific things? What about Thai expats who move to the West. Are they failures for not living up to your expectations?

Should they have remained in Thailand and cultivated expat double-think in the form of fortune cookie bullshit like "everywhere you go, there you are?" Even my Bangkok landlord lives in California.

People have unrealistic expectations about what they are legally and socially allowed to do and accomplish in Thailand. Thais face classism, racism (based on complexion), and political prejudice. Non-Thais face some of the former plus gross legal antipathy. Noticing that doesn't make someone a pessimist and moving somewhere to accomplish personal goals doesn't make them a failure.

As for you Soutpeel, will you stop posting when you move abroad? I didn't think so.

Correct, but having worked in many countries all over the world I don't sit on "NameAcountryVisa.com" slagging the place off years after I departed said country, its over its gone, life moves on, its in the past..

People who continually keep going on about a "past life" in a country they no longer live obviously have issues and lack of closure on that period of their lives for some reason and the fact they feel obligated to keep slagging a place off suggests they didn't leave voluntarily or things didn't work out the way they expected

an analogy is like Hollywoods obsession with re-telling the "Vietnam war" and introducing characters like Rambo/Chuck Norris into the plot lines....keep telling the stories like this and you may eventually convince people the whole Vietnam war was a success

Seems to me people who have left Thailand, keep popping up on TV, slagging the place off and finding fault is because they are seeking vindication of their own failures, "see it wasn't my fault, I failed in Thailand, It was because the Thai are racist,classist, are prejudiced "

Your post is a perfect example of this

If leaving a country makes someone a failure, isn't every single ex-pat a failure in the West? What is the difference between someone who moves to Thailand from farangistan or someone who moves back? It's the same thing! Furthermore, why should anyone pretend the place they just moved from doesn't exist anymore?

I'm not sure why you can't stand the idea of someone leaving Thailand by choice and then encouraging others to do so. Are you wrecked with guilt and shame that you are leaving against your preference, or have you cultivated such a vast superiority complex that you really think you're different than a backpacker on a teaching holiday or a sex pat married to a bargirl? You are just as Thai as they are and when you finally leave or die, you'll be just as gone as they. Unremembered and irrelevant.

[JLCrab]

From the post above: I'm not sure why you can't stand the idea of someone leaving Thailand by choice and then encouraging others to do so

If someone wants to leave Thailand of their own free will, that's fine by me. I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to encourage others to do so.

[shaggy851]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think. Change your surroundings and routines and go see something new. Go travel upcountry and book a cheap hotel and hire a motorbike or a car and have a look around. Try some new food maybe go over the border into Lao or Cambodia. Go stay on a small island for a week, go do some exercise and go swimming daily. Come to think of it I might do the same, always works for me. Takes your mind off things. Enrol in a course take up thai cooking ,learn thai, learn essan learn to read and write thai. Get up off your ass and do something! Stop reading thai visa !

[Soutpeel]

If leaving a country makes someone a failure, isn't every single ex-pat a failure in the West? What is the difference between someone who moves to Thailand from farangistan or someone who moves back? It's the same thing! Furthermore, why should anyone pretend the place they just moved from doesn't exist anymore?

I'm not sure why you can't stand the idea of someone leaving Thailand by choice and then encouraging others to do so. Are you wrecked with guilt and shame that you are leaving against your preference, or have you cultivated such a vast superiority complex that you really think you're different than a backpacker on a teaching holiday or a sex pat married to a bargirl? You are just as Thai as they are and when you finally leave or die, you'll be just as gone as they. Unremembered and irrelevant.

I never said leaving a country makes someone failure, I said people who leave a country and then feel they need to get on a web site, slagging off a country they no longer live in with the venom and bile you have shown in your posts indicates the person concerned has serious issues about that country/people and based on what you have written it certainly appears you came to live in Thailand and failed, hence all the venom and bile

further how can I be against someone leaving Thailand by choice, as I stated in a post, once my tenure in Thailand is complete, I am planning on leaving myself as I want to go home, but does that mean I will be getting back on TV with venomous and bilious posts slagging a whole country/ people and the resident foreigners living there as you have done ?....Don't think so

What have back packers, sexpats or BG's got to do with any of this or is this a precursor to you next post when you start accusing me of being a washed up alcoholic sexpat because I work in Thailand ? so cliched and droll dear boy

"I am just as Thai".... Couldn't be further from the truth, you delusions are really getting the better of you...

[Soutpeel]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

[mmh8]

to the op I think these are all signs that you have somethihng to learn. choose your friends wisely, one of the choices you have in life. if you don't like the music find some that is more to your ear

[MaeJoMTB]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

They thought theirs was different.

It's a pretty damaging moment, when you realize she wasn't.

[Gecko123]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

In my experience, there's almost always a failed relationship behind this bitterness. Most often a romantic relationship, but on occasion a business relationship. Think about the times in your life when you have experienced the most bitterness. Hasn't it almost always been about loss of love or money?

Leaving Thailand is one thing. Using TVF to disparage, dispirit, and denigrate the expat community as a form of personal therapy is quite another.

Getting back to the OP's question, I have personally observed that there is sometimes a cycle of drinking ---> disturbed sleep ----> daytime lethargy ----> weight gain/inactivity----> sense of directionlessness/"the blues"/etc-----> more drinking.

If I were feeling depressed, the first thing I would do is try to cut back on alcohol consumption, and get more exercise.

Edited July 2, 2015 by Gecko123

[Franky Bear]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think. Change your surroundings and routines and go see something new. Go travel upcountry and book a cheap hotel and hire a motorbike or a car and have a look around. Try some new food maybe go over the border into Lao or Cambodia. Go stay on a small island for a week, go do some exercise and go swimming daily. Come to think of it I might do the same, always works for me. Takes your mind off things. Enrol in a course take up thai cooking ,learn thai, learn essan learn to read and write thai. Get up off your ass and do something! Stop reading thai visa !

My guess is the ones that are depressed have no money and are either heading for the bottom of a bottle

Or the 13th floor

[i claudius]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Edited July 2, 2015 by i claudius

[Soutpeel]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

They thought theirs was different.

It's a pretty damaging moment, when you realize she wasn't.

time for a musical interlude me thinks dedicated to the Oregon Oracle, Budright, a few others

My favourite guitar player of all time...

[JLCrab]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

Edited July 2, 2015 by JLCrab

[AYJAYDEE]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

i wonder how the thais feel about the flotsam and jetsam of the west overrunning them.

[i claudius]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

My wife is my best friend ,really all I need but it's ok to have a few to go for a drink with

[thaibeachlovers]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

When one can have a "friend" for over 30 years that then stabs one in the back it raises the question as to how one can really know who is a friend and who is just an aquaintance.

[JLCrab]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

My wife is my best friend ,really all I need but it's ok to have a few to go for a drink with

As I said, overrated.

[Gecko123]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

When one can have a "friend" for over 30 years that then stabs one in the back it raises the question as to how one can really know who is a friend and who is just an aquaintance.

I think Thais are much much more realistic and honest about the nature of friendship than Westerners are.

[MaeJoMTB]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

i wonder how the thais feel about the flotsam and jetsam of the west overrunning them.

They probably don't notice because of the sheer volume of their own flotsam and jetsam.

[MaeJoMTB]

Personaly i think the type of people who get depresed here ,drink to much get bored or throw themselves off tall buildings are in the main the sort who are the same no matter where they live . nearly all of my friends are married ,happy people who just on the whole live normal lives ,they just find it easier going here ,i for one am as happy as a pig in the proverbial,but then most of the time i was the same back home ,the difference here is big brother is not constantly on your case , with speed cameras and all the other crap in the west ,i grew up in a Britain that was free with few rules and regs no PC bullshit and ethnic quotas in the workplace ,and we were not overun by the flotsam and jetsom of the world , Blues , hell no i love it here.

Having friends is overrated.

My wife is my best friend ,really all I need but it's ok to have a few to go for a drink with

As I said, overrated.

I thought my wife (English) was my best friend for 30 years, then suddenly she was my worst enemy.

You gotta laugh at all the guys that still think they can trust wimmin.

Even after one stuck it to them in their home country.

[shaggy851]

There's probably many depressed foreigners here I would think.

Based on some of the venomous posts on here, one suspects there are people who are are still "depressed" about their Thailand experiences and no longer live in the country and haven't done so in a while, what happened to these people that scarred them so much ?

Something like this? never mind the title of the video, but have a look at Justin who says he had a really bad time in England for the last six months who doesn't like to call himself a sex tourist, he considers himself a 'make myself a bit happy tourist.' He is completely disillusioned about what is taking place and admits hes one of many hopeless romantics coming here and looking for love. Part 2 of the video his girlfriend, Pookie has found a new boyfriend as he seems to have had some cash flow problems. Sure they are tourists but now imagine if they moved here... https://youtu.be/twEcPVtTq0I

https://youtu.be/7Atv6Tqavkw

[weegee]

When you get the "Blues"....just have a JD and go mow the lawn....It sweats it out of you quickly.

Some posters on here forget that there are members here who lost their wife back in the old country, for other reasons than divorce...

LOL....now cheer up and start a new topic......

(Yes, i already have my coat thanks)

[georgemandm]

This is not a rant more of an observation

This last few months I have had a slight dose of the Pattaya and Thailand "loss of optimism lurgy", its normally caught by listening too closely to those who have become depressed, disillusioned and sick of the unfairness, illogic, and all of the many inconsistencies of Thailand

It seems that some of my very good friends have or are going through a stage of complete disillusionment living here.

My friends are all becoming completely disenchanted with what goes on here and the impact it has on their lifestyles.

As intelligent and reasonable people they plead a good argument for leaving these shores forever, only returning for holidays and the benefits of their wives visiting relatives etc.

Their debates or arguments from a sensible and logical point of view are seemingly 100% watertight.

I am on the fence because I know from my own experience that if one is unhappy then unless you sort out the problem where you are, its highly probable that you will take your "unhappy" with you wherever you go

So my dear TV forum members how do you cope with shall we call it the "Thai blues" which if I am any judge of the human character we all go through from time to time.

What are your coping strategies or mechanisms for going through these debilitating times of negativity?

I think because most of them get suck in by the haire losso and sell everything they have back home and can't get back because have no money left put it all into a 3 rd world place like thailand don't get me wrong I love the place but I would never ever put all my money into the place .

[n210mp]

Its amazing that I can agree wholeheartedly with perhaps 50% of someone's post and then they spoil it by making a sweeping generalisation that makes me think that they are at least superficial in their outlook if not downright malicious!

Anyway

My OP was a genuine question with an attempt to find answers and ask for suggestions to my OP question which would help people like myself and my friends go through maybe a bad patch in their stay here, in other words coping strategies ETC

My friends who have similar experiences to myself are finding it difficult to see a positive or bright side with regards to permanently staying in Thailand.

This is of course for many reasons, the depleted exchange rate, increasing cost of health insurance and the crime rate does not help us gain any confidence in a regime that suffers coup after coup without any seemingly benefit to the people of Thailand. Maybe even a little homesickness as well

In any event I have been coming here for for over 25 years and been here permanently here for the last four years so I think that I have managed to go through many of the mental "stages" that old timers here used to talk about.

In that time and prior to becoming an ExPat my wife and I for the previous ten years used to have three months a year here and I must say that it seemed like a much better quality place in the past than it is at this present time.

Most of my old eXpat friends are sadly gone now, died of old age mostly and they seemed to be of a better quality than the people I meet in this day and age.

I dd post thread a little time ago about the shortage what I would describe as "real friends"

My current friends here are people I have met at the golf course, the supermarket and generally because I am one of those types of people who always as a matter of courtesy says Hello when passing another foreigner or thai when walking or riding in the mabprachan area, in other words I didn't meet them in a bar!

As far as people like me being failures wherever they are (Depressive ETC) I would have them know that up to 1995 I was MD of three extremely successful companies, falling victim as many did at that time (1990) to the "short" recession that lasted for nealry seven years I think, costing me the loss of 9.5 MGBP, not all in money but in assets.

I have worked hard all my life never ever being out of work through either illness or my cyclic depression, indeed even now I never stop working around the house or going out on my Hybrid MTB with my good friend Ozzie Rob

The point I am making in this little summary is that I am neither a failure nor a giver up and in writing this OP am genuinely asking for the help and advice of those who maybe have worked their way successfully through this particular stage of being an Expat!

Big thanks for the many sensible posts relating to my OP, I wish there was a "Half like button" because many of the post contain sensible and genuine advice or comment but then spoil their comment by being subjectively and usually negatively judgemental.

It is perfectly normal for people especially as they are getting older to have the thoughts and fears that I and some of my friends are having without any of us being either alkies, failures or skint, its called being sensible and careful!

thanks again