When a Loan Shark Destroys a Family

[bitterbatter]

I am married now for 1 year to a woman I have known for two years. My wife has a beautiful 18 year old daughter who never knew her real farang father, but prayed for a father her whole life. I have been working hard to put a business together and everything is finally falling into place. I spent 13 years in Thailand learning about women and being very choosy, until I finally found a woman who could be happy regardless of our day to day financial situation. So when we met I made a very concerted effort to be honest about things, and we developed trust. For the last year everything has been great. We never fought, and everyone always told me how incredibly lucky I was to have married such a good woman. She is always in a good mood and likes to serve and take care. Her old family relationships were strained because of her guilt and overly giving nature. But we have been healing her family relationships and everything has been looking better and better.

I had to leave Thailand to visit my mother who has cancer three weeks ago. Just before I left, she told me about her sick father. I never met him and he has never been involved much in her life or her very large extended family. She was sad because he is in the hospital and on a ventilator, without which he will die. He is very alone and has almost no one to take care of him. Before I left my wife asked me for a thousand baht so she could play lottery and prayed that she would win a million baht to help her dying father. I have explained to her often that playing the lottery is as good as throwing money away. "would you ever bet on the numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or 5 5 5 5 5 5 5?"(or how ever many digits it is). I would ask her. She would reply' Of course not! How could anyone win on such an unlikely number!" I would respond, " Absolutely correct! But any combination of numbers has an equally high improbability! I have studied statistics and probablity math in college, and know that the odds are exactly equal. It is simple math. But this concept just didn't sink in. The stupid idea of karma and luck is so common in BS versions of Thai Buddhist philosophy. I am working against a lifetime of disinformation being touted by millions of morons.

So I left Thailand three weeks ago, only four days before I return. I just recieved my business contract and feeling great about everything. In fact today was one of the best days I have had in a long time. Until two hours ago when I called her. She was panicking, made me write down a new number and call her back. She told me we have to leave Bangkok, and that I should not go to our house. This is a house owned by her aunt, where we have been living rent free. She told me that we should move to somewhere far from Bangkok, but I am about to begin the work I have been waiting for, a truly great opportunity that could be very profitable within the year. She refused to tell me why, until I got extremely upset and threatened to divorce her unless she told me what was going on!

Finally she told me that two days ago, our neighbors had convinced her to get a loan from someone they knew, and they would go to a casino and make money. She was gullible and did that. One neighbor borrowed 15k, and the other borrowed 40k Baht. But my wife borrowed 200,000 Baht. They went to some illegal casino in Bangkok and lost everything. My wife owns no property and doesn't have a job. She has zero collateral and fortunately I have not invested in any property with my wife yet. The terms of this loan is that it was to be paid back immediately. So my wife left Bangkok with our dog, and didn't say a word to any of the family and even our daughter.

I was freaking out of course, but after a short bike ride, I am over it. I don't care if they come knocking on my door with guns and threaten me. I think the people who loaned her the money are the ones who did wrong. And secondly I blame our lame neighbors.

I feel like calling the police on these loan sharks and punishing them for wrecking our family. My wife if full of fear, on the run and possibly suicidal. I really don't need this distraction right now, and am temped to just divorcing her. But then I don't want her to disconnect from all of her relatives and losing her family. She is not listening to reason, and so full of stupid guilt. Please if anyone has any reasonable advice, let me know. And try to resist bashing Thai women and any unnecessary mud slingning. I know she was very stupid. Incredibly so. But being stupid doesn't change that deep down she is a truly good person that has a heart of gold. I don't know if I can ever trust her again, but if I do, I guarantee that I will give zero opportunity for her to hurt me financially. But I have a new found hatred for loan sharks and their destructive illegal policies. This is war!

[stoneyboy]

13 years in Thailand and you wind up in this situation.

Good luck grab your things and do one.

[Don Mega]

Your wife is correct, getting out of there is the best thing to do.... but seeing as though you are willing to throw her away so easily just divorce her and be done with it.

By the way any debt incurred during wedlock is half yours.

[BaldPlumber]

If you love your wife, can you not pay the debt for her or do you also have no money?

[Anthony5]

Right, blame everyone but your wife for what really happened, and good luck with your war.

I assume that you're smart enough yourself so that I don't have to tell you who's gonna bite the dust.

[cornishcarlos]

I'm more impressed that she took the dog, she truly is 1 in a million, much like her odds on the lotto. BTW, did she win the lotto ?

[NeverSure]

"When a loan shark destroys a family".

Right.

[Tomtomtom69]

The biggest question here is why did the OP's wife borrow the 200,000 Baht?

[MJKT2014]

Shouldn't the thread title be when a stupid untrusted wife ruins a family? It takes two to tango after all? Why blame the loan sharks, they are just bottom feeding.

[p_brownstone]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

[offset]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

Yes they can when the shark know the she is married to a falang most Thais think that all falang are rich

[cooked]

Nobody knows the situation better than you. You have to sit back and reflect upon what is more important to you. Myself I would pay off the debt and let my wife know in no uncertain terms that she must never again go into financial obligations without discussing with you first. Doubtless she was hoping to give you a big surprise when you got back. She certainly did that.

I doubt that the collateral offered by your wife was the fact that she was married to a Farang. Think about that also. Ask her. If this is the case, GEDOUDDADERE quick.

Good luck.

[MatteoBassini]

First of all, your wife is stupid and should never be trusted with money.

Secondly, if an old person is dying, let him die. This old man has lived his life, just let him go. If I was on life support, I'd ask to pull the plug, there's no point living that way.

Thirdly, Why are you blaming the loan sharks? The loan sharks aren't doing anything wrong. They're there for anyone who desperately needs money.

This happened to my mother. My mother was a gambling addict, she was 2 million baht in debt. Some days I come home from school and leave 20-40 baht on my desk, the next day, they're gone; of course, my mom stole them. I told my dad if he didn't divorce and leave her to rot in the streets I'll leave both of them and live on my own. Since I was the one giving my dad a visa, and everything he owned was under my name, I had nothing to lose and he had everything to lose. I don't care if you're my mother, father, brother, sister, whatever, idiots will be idiots.

Loan sharks didn't do anything to your family, your wife did.

[KhaoNiaw]

Make sure you've got the full story first. If your wife borrowed 200,000 baht what was she expected to pay back? A loan shark wouldn't just want the principal back. They will now be charging interest at an extortionate daily rate.

Are you certain this was just a one-off? If so, clear the debt, make sure she's learned her lesson and get on with your business. But I'd also think really carefully about the possibility that she's in trouble over gambling debts that have accrued over time. Even talk to the daughter about this. Maybe it's something that's been a problem in the past and she went back to in your absence. If she really is a player, the best thing to do would be move on - it will destroy your family and maybe your business as well .

Going to the police is unlikely to help as the loan sharks will be paying them off in return for being allowed to operate. After the coup there was a clamp down on loan sharks and in our area they kept a low profile for a while but are now back in action. A foreign businessman was stabbed for his wife's debts recently and it seems to be common knowledge locally on what the police received to take no action.

[luk AJ]

This is indeed a very strange story, as her husband, I suggest to take responsibility first and decide about your future together later. You can't outrun these loan sharks and meanwhile the intrest on the loan already doubled the debt. So the only way is to pay back fast. Good luck, we all hope it never happens to any of us. I know many Thai who play the lottery and nobody knows how bad this can end...

[konying]

The biggest question here is why did the OP's wife borrow the 200,000 Baht?

To help dying father

[manarak]

yes, some things seem strange in this story - you don't even own a home, what is the loanshark's collateral?

then you say you have been very choosy in women and finally your choice fell on a person that takes out a loan with a loanshark to go gamble in an illegal casino !

you say she has been very stupid and gullible... I'm not sure - rather sounds like a plan of how to extract 200.000 from a farang, quick! are the loan and the sharks real?

I really liked your explanation of how your study of statistics proves that all numbers have an equal chance to win the lottery, when a brain of average intelligence in perfectly sufficient for reaching the same conclusion...

Edited July 17, 2015 by manarak

[faraday]

Loan Sharks are not stupid & I find it difficult to digest, that they would loan this considerable sum on the basis of 'Farang are rich'.

I think you've been decieved by her because she has a Gambling Addiction - but this doesn't make her a bad person.

The money she owes has probably been borrowed over a long period of time, in different amounts. But now, they want their money back.

However, I would worry alot about these guys turning up.

Either repay them, or disappear, by your hand...or theirs.

[NickJ]

She opened her mouth to the neighbors. Maybe bragging maybe about your "future

job" the one thats going to very profitable.

The neighbors conned her with one of Thailands oldest cons....and you can bet they are in on it. The house owned the miney from the fake loan.

If you do go to the police go to the main branch. not the local ones as they are in on it.......Sadly your not the first or the last.

And No....you cant get a loanshark loan without collatreal of that amount period....

It was a scam from the get go.

[aussiandrew]

Sad to say it does happen a lot in this country. Ruining families all over the country side.

[tx22cb]

Very unfortunate situation. Your wife seems to have good intentions (find quick money for her ill father without troubling you), but also naive, and she erred.

You're lucky it's only 200k (thus far) - although you may find that the true total may be a lot higher.

If you can, liquidate some assets and pay it off yourself.

If you can't pay it off, then look harder at your possessions - loan sharks are uncompromising people.

But can't put all the blame on the loan sharks.

What if the wife was able to borrow from a bank (using her car as collateral)? Would you blame the bank?

Give you wife a second chance - you write about her in glowing terms, and she just made a mistake (albeit a big one).

Good luck.

[FritsSikkink]

Stop your silly talk about a war with the loansharks. Do you even know the interest rate?
Stop blaming the neighbourhs. The one and only to blame is your wife without a brain who thinks she can beat the casino.
Like said before half the debt is yours when you divorce. You borrow , you pay or do a runner and face the results of that.
You are probably the next on lifesupport if you run (what are the odds on that). Good luck

Better change the title in : How my silly gambling wife ruined my happiness.

Edited July 18, 2015 by FritsSikkink

[inzman]

I've heard similar stories. Usually ends up being a way to scam the Falang of money. I dont believe she borrowed the money and I certainly wouldn't ever trust her! Run Forrest run

[fiddlehead]

Sounds like your wife has a serious gambling problem.
I don't know if you can ever help to rid her of that.
Luckily you have no kids, so, you can say goodbye, get a divorce and find another one.
I have a feeling there's no father in desperate need either.

[xen]

You are going to have to repay these loan sharks just to stop the interest escalating and then you will have time to work out who has really scammed you - the misus, the neighbours, the casino or all of them .

[MJKT2014]

The loan sharks aren't doing anything wrong.

Whilst I agree with this post is general, I strongly disagree with the above statement. Loan Sharks are the lowest form of life on the planet who prey on the vulnerable and break the law.

That said, a mute point I think as the o/p s post being so implausible and failure to comeback stinks of a troll to me anyway.

[offset]

Loan Sharks are not stupid & I find it difficult to digest, that they would loan this considerable sum on the basis of 'Farang are rich'.

I think you've been decieved by her because she has a Gambling Addiction - but this doesn't make her a bad person.

The money she owes has probably been borrowed over a long period of time, in different amounts. But now, they want their money back.

However, I would worry alot about these guys turning up.

Either repay them, or disappear, by your hand...or theirs.

I know a loan shark lent out 1.5 million on a land paper and did not bother to find out that the land was in the mother's son's name and he is only 6 years old so what collateral have they got, and I do know that this is true

[fiddlehead]

I agree with your troll suspicion.^

[fang37]

My wife talks about buying a lottery ticket so that when she wins, she can buy the new Toyota Fortuner.

I quick;y tell her hat buying lottery tickets is a no-go around here - it is addictive?

So far, so good. She already has a quality life.

Thais & motor vehicles - an obsession?

[FritsSikkink]

Loan Sharks are not stupid & I find it difficult to digest, that they would loan this considerable sum on the basis of 'Farang are rich'.

I think you've been decieved by her because she has a Gambling Addiction - but this doesn't make her a bad person.

The money she owes has probably been borrowed over a long period of time, in different amounts. But now, they want their money back.

However, I would worry alot about these guys turning up.

Either repay them, or disappear, by your hand...or theirs.

I know a loan shark lent out 1.5 million on a land paper and did not bother to find out that the land was in the mother's son's name and he is only 6 years old so what collateral have they got, and I do know that this is true

he doesn't give a hoot on who's name it is, you wil sell the land to repay or have a problem