Decisions made for returning to the USA

[bwpage3]

The decision to return to the USA after 10+ years living in Thailand was not as hard as what I imagined. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew my family would have a chance for a better future in the USA and I felt I owed it to them to give them the best chance in life.

I was able to survive in Thailand with my own business doing quite well, till the great flood of 2011 wiped out our warehouse and pretty much everything. It could have been catastrophic to some, however, I welcomed this event better than I thought because it actually kick-started my plan to return to the USA.

I had left the USA 10+ years earlier and had no ties, property etc. and did not return for a visit until I decided to move back. (When I moved back I stayed in an extended stay hotel for about a month while I bought a house as I had nowhere to return to)

USA Immigration policy is such that the husband has to be employed in the USA to sponsor his Thai wife for a Green Card and eventual citizenship. (Provide proof of income, taxes and numerous other things)

Not dragging the story out, the whole process of US immigration is about the most stressful time you will ever have in life. 16 months later my wife and son arrived in the USA (August 2014).

I had flown back to Thailand to make the initial entry trip to the USA with them.

We took some time and rented a huge SUV and drove from Los Angeles to Florida, stopping all along the way for sight-seeing and introducing them to American culture. (It was really awesome to see how excited they were on this trip)

The house and all our belongings were left to my father in law, who was a dirt poor Isaan farmer. He deserved it, a decent man, always caring and supportive.

I have an advanced education in Engineering and it was easy to find a very high paying job in the USA. When I came back to the USA prior to my family arriving, I used that time to buy a house and furnish it with everything we would need to start over. I bought my wife a brand new car, and also rebuilt a Jeep and a convertible Ford Mustang during that year + apart.

We live in Florida about 1600 feet from the beach so it is very nice. In fact, it is allot like Thailand with coconut and palm trees, without all the heat (summer about 95F max).

There are around 25 Thai restaurants alone in the town we live in. So all in all, it is quite like being in Thailand but without all the ill’s. Many of the people working or even owning the restaurants appear to me to be the same types as you would run into in Isaan with the same behaviors whereas my wife has embraced the USA way of life and has learned what it takes to be respected as a Thai in the USA.

My wife loves it here and never wants to go back to Thailand. My son, although he was in international school in Thailand, was way behind here in his studies. He was accepted into school where he was well received and loves it there. Even gets up early he is so excited to go to school.

Looking back, I have times when I miss some of the things about Thailand, however, reading the news is a constant reminder of how hard times actual were. Floods, scams, crime, loss of water and electricity all the time, VISA issues, corruption, you name it. I wonder how I ever stayed so long?

In retrospect, Florida beaches are 10 times as good as Thailand. The Bahamas are a short trip away, all the islands in the South Atlantic easily reachable. These are vacation spots that really are 10 times better than Thailand.

I decided to move to Thailand way back when I was working in Commercial Aircraft Engineering and having to travel from the USA to Asia every week for work, I just got tired of it and settled down there permanently.

In the beginning, Thailand is a blast with all the late night partying, lots of lovely ladies etc.

Everyone has their own stories, experiences good/bad and paths they choose while living in Thailand. Sooner or later we all grow up, (well most of us anyways), and want something real, something trustful, honest and permanent.

The search begins for the “ONE” that you want to finally settle down with and spend the rest of your life with. We all know, (well most of us), that this is not an easy task (honestly is not a common trait in Thailand).

The short advice from me is Isaan. Getting lost on a drive from Bangkok to Vientienne, in Isaan, resulted in meeting my wife completely by accident.

I think as a family we are all doing much better because of the QUALITY of life in the USA. We are not faced with any hardships. Company provides medical, dental and life insurance so my family will be protected in the event anything happens to me. I sleep better knowing that.

My wife can drive, do the grocery shopping, get around and do things she wants to do. I set her up with all the credit cards, ATMs, etc. to teach her how to be independent and function on her own. Unlike some men, I see my wife as a complete equal who makes life so much easier for me and I do everything I can to make sure she knows everything to survive on her own. (Some people might scoff at this because they do not have a trusting marriage, but I can tell you many people do the same with no issues).

We have the beach right there for walks every evening, every weekend is a new adventure to Orlando, Key West, Miami, Bahamas or elsewhere. I taught her how to play golf and the three of us play every week at one the Country Clubs here and she has learned how to dress and how to get respect in this kind of social environment.

Simple things like let her her pay at restaurants or the store, gives her self-respect and respect from the people serving us.

My mother, who is a retired doctor, came down a few months ago to meet my family for the very first time. She was very impressed with my wife and told me how lucky I am to have her taking care of everything.

In Summary, if you went to Thailand for the girl and found her, the hard part of the mission is over. The second part is really what kind of husband and man you want to be, for the good things in life your wife does for you. If you do the right things as a husband, even a wife from Isaan can be well respected in the highest societies of your own country. It takes a special person to put their family first and to do what is best for their future, whether it is in Thailand or back in your home country.

For me, I had my chances in life to go around the whole world. I have a special kind of happiness in what I do for my family, knowing both of them can learn to be anything they want to be in the USA.

Knowing that they have a future outside of the poverty and lack of education in Isaan, gives me a special kind of relationship with my wife where she knows and understands everything I do for her. 8 years on, she still tells my mother every week how lucky she is to be married to me. My mother says I am the lucky one!

For those contemplating moving back or starting over, it is not impossible. The situation is different for each of us. I made the decision to give my family a future they would never have if we stayed.

[Crazy chef 1]

Congrats to all three of you...nice post...

[NeverSure]

Very nice. I know Thais in the USA who wouldn't go back to live. That's a nice home and I hope all works out well.

[AZBill]

Preaching to the choir here. Welcome back! Hey where in Fl are you where there are 25 Thai restaurants? I own a few condos in Florida and get down there from time to time and always looking to keep the wife fed and happy!

[bwpage3]

Preaching to the choir here. Welcome back! Hey where in Fl are you where there are 25 Thai restaurants? I own a few condos in Florida and get down there from time to time and always looking to keep the wife fed and happy!

Preaching to the Choir? I don't think anyone is preaching anything only telling my own story. Satellite Beach/Indian River Area. Don't worry about keeping your wife fed and happy. Thai food here is cooked for Americans and is horrible. Not even close to the food in Thailand. Better to cook and eat at home. Nothing worse than spending $50 dollars for Thai food for 2 that is horrible.

Edited July 23, 2015 by bwpage3

[Seann]

Having to wait 16 month apart before they could come to the USA seems crazy. Happy that it all worked out but people reading this shouldn't assume that will be the norm.

[alfalfa19]

Good for you, and thanks for posting. Food for thought.

[beachproperty]

Sounds fantastic!....

Not wishing to sound downbeat ....was curious about Florida and the crime rate, hurricanes and the mosquito and bugs.....have heard horrendous stories

Moved to Thailand 10 years ago and have 6 units ON the beach and close to Bangkok (cost $150,000... new build) ....Low crime (actually never experienced any but know its there), NO hurricanes or sunami's, and bugs are minimal as coastal wind pushes them inland. No property taxes, low electricity and water bills etc.....Corruption? yeah....but for me I don't mind paying a few hundred Baht ($10) for speeding tickets (or whatever....driving in righthand lane instead of lefthand lane) or to get something done quicky. Corruption vs Bureaucy in my opinion so about the same.

Yours sounds like a good story (and well written) but as you said "not for everyone" ....Happy in Thailand now! and unless things change for the worse, here till I die (I actually find it better than the US where I am the foreigner there now....soooo many immigrants).

Edited July 24, 2015 by beachproperty

[fey]

Success stories like this are hard to find. Why were you in Thailand to begin with? Nice temples?

If it was then I will give your scene a great chance at success. Typically these situations don't last because men taking wives from Thailand have certain character flaws which creep up every now and again on both sides making "normal" lives and relationships, which you seem to be alluding to, untenable.

Edited July 24, 2015 by fey

[steven100]

I've read the book .... wonder when the movie comes out ...

[BKS22]

I applaud the OP's post. It's refreshing to read a positive outcome on here after all the depressing dribble that's become the norm. Having recently gone thru the painful lengthy immigration process to get my wife from Phuket here...I understand his experience. He has valid points and reasonable advice. Not sure why we need to see pictures of the house though. His success was made plenty clear verbally. That being said I wish him and his family continued good luck.

[BuaBS]

For me , the most important sentence in your story is : " I have an advanced education in Engineering and it was easy to find a very high paying job in the USA" .

That explains a lot . For people without it , it would not be so great.

[xxoahu22]

Thank you for the post. It really is refreshing to read something positive on here. (continued) Best of luck

[ggt]

Terrific story...thanks for sharing...moved back about the same time you did...I am so much healthier and happier than I was in Thailand...the lack of daily stress is remarkable...loved the pics...

[Katipo]

Uplifting post. Cheers.

[bwpage3]

I applaud the OP's post. It's refreshing to read a positive outcome on here after all the depressing dribble that's become the norm. Having recently gone thru the painful lengthy immigration process to get my wife from Phuket here...I understand his experience. He has valid points and reasonable advice. Not sure why we need to see pictures of the house though. His success was made plenty clear verbally. That being said I wish him and his family continued good luck.

The pics basically to validate the story to the non-believers and also to compare how I am living to give you an idea. This is a beach town, population 77,000, crime super low, excellent rated schools, no bugs because of the constant breeze off the ocean. For me, allot less stress and no headaches. As I said, not for everyone but for my family there are extremely thankful and happy to be here

[curtklay]

Sounds too good to be true. You are obviously far better off financially than the average ex-pat. Your story is a fantasy for most of us, and we would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

[pigeonjake]

great story,

but some of us are happy here, without stress, i dont have any stress here,

this is us if you care to look, thaifarmlife.com

[sammygood]

life is always nice, when you have plenty of money

so what is this ? a case of showoff

[HeijoshinCool]

Seven years in Thailand, the final five only because I met the woman who would become my wife. We both knew we needed time together in Thailand first, but I didn't hesitate to return to the States once she agreed to follow me there.

I came back in December. She's joining me next month.

Updates to follow.

Thanks for the post.

[MockingJay]

Ooooops, wrong forum... did not know we had a "my house, my car, my boat, my wife" section...

Edited July 24, 2015 by MockingJay

[Skytrain2hell]

Lovely story, and good to hear that things are going well.

After I had my first child, I brought my family back to the states as well. I absolutely loved it for the first 6-8 months. Everything was in order, most things were very efficient, and having 4 seasons again was wonderful. We then had another baby. Reality started setting in when insurance wasn't covering everything. I was paying 1600 US a month for insurance, but still had to pay another 9,000 for pre/post natal hospital bills. I had good income from a start-up, but was also paying 2k a month for a 2 bedroom apartment. Grocery bills were insanely high, yadda yadda yadda. All of that was more of a headache than a deal breaker. I just felt that everything was stale, repetitive, and slow. My wife was ok with everything, though she missed Thailand now and again. Many things in the states run smoothly and things are set up well, and I think that was the problem for me. Everything just seemed set up, stale and boring. I also had the opposite from the OP with regards to schooling. I wasn't impressed with most public or private schools.

I ended up searching for and landing a great job in Thailand. Both of my kids are now in one of the best IB schools in Bangkok, and mom and dad feel at home here. I'm happy, though, that we tried going back to the states. It clears any doubts that I previously had.

[DLock]

Great post...and I won't be far behind you.

Lovely house and glad the family are appreciating the US way of life and taking advantage of it.

Thailand is not what it used to be, and it's hard to rationalize living here anymore compared to what you can achieve elsewhere.

Good luck.

[steelepulse]

Why are so many people cynical here? Nothing wrong with wanting a change, having a decent education and telling people about it. He's not being a Donald Trump here showing his jets, vacation houses etc., he's just showing how his life got better for his wife and kid. Not his fault many whining people on this thread are skint/broke/can't rub two baht together.

[MockingJay]

Wanted to throw this in the mix: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/31/most-dangerous-cities-florida_n_4524866.html

[slipperylobster]

Her smile says it all. Good luck for what you have rightfully won and earned.

Not everyone will be as fortunate.....but good on you.

[robertthebruce]

Wanted to throw this in the mix: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/31/most-dangerous-cities-florida_n_4524866.html

Crime is high all over Thailand too..

Just watch the news each night, its the same stuff each night..

also, Road Tragedies, might not be crime, but its still death or injury...

I am not saying i dont feel safe in Thailand, but the Crime rate, and the sheer attitude to ''Death and Killings'' are quite shocking....

Thats my two cents worth..

[DavidB4]

So nice to hear a positive story for a change here. I have one question; may I ask your ages please? You and your wife? Cheers.

[mikiea]

life is always nice, when you have

hmmm... a case of lil whilly sickness ?

[mikiea]

life is always nice, when you have

hmmm... a case of lil whilly sickness ?