Trust.........how Much

[Jai Dee]

...hand me the map honey, I will drive and read the map at the same time...just try to fold it so I can see about here...

I have to do that all the time too...

[The Skipper]

The Donz 'is good' or bad, depending on who one talks to, suggested this as a new thread......obviously I agree.

This forum seems, and I use the word advisedly, overly pessimistic and or paranoid about trusting Thai partners or relationnships.

So how about some honesty on your average (obviously it varies temporally) percentage trust of your Thai partner and why it is at that level.

Perhaps one of the very reasons we like Thai's and culture, because of their 'differences' to us, and therefore a reduced understanding of their culture and as such maybe is a reason for an apparent lack of trust by farungs....................just a thought.

A better question would be "Do Thais trust each other"?

I don't think so.

They see trust as a weakness to be exploited.

[tourleadersi]

The only time my wife has broken my trust is when she assured me she knew how to drive to near Pattaya. I had never driven in Thailand and she was in charge of directions. When we hit Ayyutthaya I finally gave up and bought a map!

I believe trust is not just something that can be given, but should be earned and nurtured. As for going out for a beer at midnight in Bangers, what is wrong with that? Just because you are married it doesn't mean you should surrender all time away from your partner. 50% of the time I head out with my wife, the remainder sees me out with the boys and her with the girls. We often then meet up at around 2am to head home. Occassionally I will go out and she will stay in alone and watch tv, and vice versa. Sometimes she asks if she can come along and I'll say no as its a boys night. She then calls her friends and heads out to a movie instead. There's never a problem with this as she does the same to me. Without that independance within our marriage I think we would both be smothered. Do I worry about what she is up to when I am not there? Not one bit, so I guess that means I trust her.

[kmart]

99% of Thai women I know would appear to be totally trustworthy.

99% of Farangs I know ARE totally untrustworthy.

I would never trust you, as you appear to be an imbecile.

The Donz 'is good' or bad, depending on who one talks to, suggested this as a new thread......obviously I agree.

This forum seems, and I use the word advisedly, overly pessimistic and or paranoid about trusting Thai partners or relationnships.

So how about some honesty on your average (obviously it varies temporally) percentage trust of your Thai partner and why it is at that level.

Perhaps one of the very reasons we like Thai's and culture, because of their 'differences' to us, and therefore a reduced understanding of their culture and as such maybe is a reason for an apparent lack of trust by farungs....................just a thought.

A better question would be "Do Thais trust each other"?

I don't think so.

They see trust as a weakness to be exploited.

Trust; kindness; compassion can be a commodity here to be exploited; as in any poor country. But there are a few Thai people who I know I can fully trust, based on experience. Its better to be cynical and pleasantly surprised than naive and disappointed, imo. Costs less too.

Edited September 22, 2006 by kmart

[grapetable]

The 'Positives' have come out inforce with the 'Negatives' keeping a low profile. Seems as though (this is a very biased group), totally trust their partners...........which is great, but I thought the Pessamists and Paranoids who seem to populate this forum would have far more to say. Pity as I wanted a better argument on the topic. But it aint finished yet.

[t.s]

It depends on what aspect you need to trust, like any relationship.

My Thai GF of 3 years would never be unfaithful. I would trust her love for me for any duration of time apart (althought extreme durations would expect change). She would never place me in a difficult situation and she will always be respectful. I always trust that she will do what is best for us and she will listen to my advice.

She is however manipulative to get what she wants. Not high maintenance over money or shopping rather my time, attention and ideas. Would I trust that she is really needing to go to the Hospital and demanding that I return from the bar with my friend at midnight or is she playing games? She's cried wolf too many times for me to believe. Is this grounds to call her untrustworthy... yes! Immaturity will fade with age, or so I hope, or perhaps I am enabling her behaviors by being tolerant. Time will tell.

Haha you made me laugh jasonc...

your comments:

Would I trust that she is really needing to go to the Hospital and demanding that I return from the bar with my friend at midnight

Can i ask, what would a married man be doing at a bar in bangkok at midnight anyway??

um ... having a beer perhaps?

also:

Immaturity will fade with age, or so I hope, or perhaps I am enabling her behaviors by being tolerant.

I beg to differ here.. but i wonder who is the more immature one in your relationship? tut tut for being in a bar at midnnight when wife is at home needing her man!

being a touch moralistic or judgmental here? what do you understand of the situation?

So i may add.... I feel sorry for your wife if she has continually "cry wolf" for her husband to come home at night!

it must be nice to be so smug, flanders. tut, tut, tut

[TravelBUG]

It depends on what aspect you need to trust, like any relationship.

My Thai GF of 3 years would never be unfaithful. I would trust her love for me for any duration of time apart (althought extreme durations would expect change). She would never place me in a difficult situation and she will always be respectful. I always trust that she will do what is best for us and she will listen to my advice.

She is however manipulative to get what she wants. Not high maintenance over money or shopping rather my time, attention and ideas. Would I trust that she is really needing to go to the Hospital and demanding that I return from the bar with my friend at midnight or is she playing games? She's cried wolf too many times for me to believe. Is this grounds to call her untrustworthy... yes! Immaturity will fade with age, or so I hope, or perhaps I am enabling her behaviors by being tolerant. Time will tell.

Haha you made me laugh jasonc...

your comments:

Would I trust that she is really needing to go to the Hospital and demanding that I return from the bar with my friend at midnight

Can i ask, what would a married man be doing at a bar in bangkok at midnight anyway??

um ... having a beer perhaps?

also:

Immaturity will fade with age, or so I hope, or perhaps I am enabling her behaviors by being tolerant.

I beg to differ here.. but i wonder who is the more immature one in your relationship? tut tut for being in a bar at midnnight when wife is at home needing her man!

being a touch moralistic or judgmental here? what do you understand of the situation?

So i may add.... I feel sorry for your wife if she has continually "cry wolf" for her husband to come home at night!

it must be nice to be so smug, flanders. tut, tut, tut

I dont know anything about the situation... just giving my input, and sitting back waiting for a reaction, which is so easy to get when you dangle the bait... that's what forums are suposed to be about!

At least i dont sit back and watch everyone agree with eachother... what a boring forum that would be.

Oh, and yes im very seldom polite, lovely or tolerant... so at least we agree on something Udon!

Edited September 22, 2006 by TravelBUG

[astral]

99% of Thai women I know would appear to be totally trustworthy.

99% of Farangs I know ARE totally untrustworthy.

I am not sure I would say 99% in both cases,

but you are in the right ball park.

[meemiathai]

As for going out for a beer at midnight in Bangers, what is wrong with that?

There is nothing wrong. But the same can be asked, what's wrong with a woman needing her man at night?

Or what's wrong screwing other women?

[mrbojangles]

...hand me the map honey, I will drive and read the map at the same time...just try to fold it so I can see about here...

I have to do that all the time too...

Same, same. OK i retract my statement from, I trust her 100%, to, i trust her 97.5%

[Unknown]

she has even paid a deposit on the coffin I want as it will surely rise in price before I pop my cloggs

Right, some kind of investment actually, the longer you live, the more she will save.

So hopefully, you'll live forever...

And well, it is not that usual for Thais to prepare for costs involved in the death of a family member before he actually dies.

Or any future costs, for that matter...

[Unknown]

By the way I trust my Thai wife 100% but I'm not sure I would feel as comfortable as ThaiPauly if she was planning for my cremation already.

[mrbojangles]

By the way I trust my Thai wife 100% but I'm not sure I would feel as comfortable as ThaiPauly if she was planning for my cremation already.

Me and the Mrs have planned mine already. Gallon of petrol and a pack of "Swan Vestas"

Actually, can you still buy them? Hope so, cos i don't want her throwing my favourite Zippo on me

[daleyboy]

...hand me the map honey, I will drive and read the map at the same time...just try to fold it so I can see about here...

I have to do that all the time too...

Same, same. OK i retract my statement from, I trust her 100%, to, i trust her 97.5%

My wife doesnt even know what a map is

[mrbojangles]

...hand me the map honey, I will drive and read the map at the same time...just try to fold it so I can see about here...

I have to do that all the time too...

Same, same. OK i retract my statement from, I trust her 100%, to, i trust her 97.5%

My wife doesnt even know what a map is

Well, if she gets up on your shoulders, she doesn't need one

[daleyboy]

Well, if she gets up on your shoulders, she doesn't need one

Your right mate, but she never knows what to wear as the weather up there is always differnt from the weather at her normal height

[mrbojangles]

Well, if she gets up on your shoulders, she doesn't need one

Your right mate, but she never knows what to wear as the weather up there is always differnt from the weather at her normal height

Yeah, can't be nice that. One minute wearing a Bikini and the next minute having to don a Fleece and Ski boots

[gburns57au]

Back on topic guys....

My ex I thought I trusted....till I found out that the trust was undeserved....and due to that experience I trust my current fiance about 95%....but you know what...everytime a moment of distrust hits me...she proves it wrong...Like today when she got the price for an airline ticket to Oz, it seemed high to me considering what I have previously paid....a check on the net and indeed it is just about spot on.

I think it is nearly impossible to trust 100%...so I will settle for the 95%.

[Unknown]

Back on topic guys....

My ex I thought I trusted....till I found out that the trust was undeserved....and due to that experience I trust my current fiance about 95%....but you know what...everytime a moment of distrust hits me...she proves it wrong...Like today when she got the price for an airline ticket to Oz, it seemed high to me considering what I have previously paid....a check on the net and indeed it is just about spot on.

I think it is nearly impossible to trust 100%...so I will settle for the 95%.

I actually have been wondering for some time why this question of trust is so often discussed when farangs marry Thai girls.

When in Europe or in the US, trust or no trust is not part of the equation when you get married (at least in most cases... ).

So why is it such a concern in Thailand...?

Edited September 22, 2006 by Unknown

[likite]

I actually have been wondering for some time why this question of trust is so often discussed when farangs marry Thai girls.

When in Europe or in the US, trust or no trust is not part of the equation when you get married (at least in most cases... wink.gif ).

So why is it such a concern in Thailand...? unsure.gif

If you don't know now you'll find out sooner or later

[Unknown]

If you don't know now you'll find out sooner or later

Right, that's what I thought.

Farangs still have to learn a lot in Thailand...

[likite]

Farangs still have to learn a lot in Thailand... whistling.gif biggrin.gif

How right you are (Most of the time.

Edited September 22, 2006 by likite

[number6]

How much do I trust my Thai wife?

She knows the PIN number for my (read our) bank account.

Need I say more?

So does mine and I know hers - I trust her 100% except when shes out shopping thne i only trust her 10% not to buy something silly - but its her money anyway - I trust her enough for her to have 2 houses in her name and of 6 condos we own 2 are in her name 3 in mine and 1 in our kids - IF you dont trust your wife then dont marry - but then as my good friens said wimen arel ike hurricanes when they arrice they wet and wild and when they leave they take the house - so I gave her the ohuses anyway

[Eastender]

My wife's got burnt a couple of times lending money. Says she'll never trust a Thai again.

Going back to the question: Most of the farangs I've met with Thai partners who either met them in or near Pattaya don't trust then, or other Thais.

And most of the farang I've met with Thai partners from elsewhere trust them a whole lot more.

[macb]

mmmmmmm what ceases to amaze me is the amount of threads we get about Thai ladies and the hint about trust and mistrust all the time.

None of us are perfect, and why have you chosen a lady from thailand if only to downgrade them all the time.

macb

[macb]

My wife's got burnt a couple of times lending money. Says she'll never trust a Thai again.

Going back to the question: Most of the farangs I've met with Thai partners who either met them in or near Pattaya don't trust then, or other Thais.

And most of the farang I've met with Thai partners from elsewhere trust them a whole lot more.

I met my wife in Pattaya and she is more than 100%

macb

[TravelBUG]

she has even paid a deposit on the coffin I want as it will surely rise in price before I pop my cloggs

Right, some kind of investment actually, the longer you live, the more she will save.

So hopefully, you'll live forever...

And well, it is not that usual for Thais to prepare for costs involved in the death of a family member before he actually dies.

Or any future costs, for that matter...

Unknown,

(regarding your comment: "some kind of investment actually, the longer you live, the more she will save

...you took the words right out of my mouth!!!!

ThaiPauly... are you blind or just extremely niave???!!! Sounds like your partner cant wait for you to kick the bucket!!! $$$$$$$$$!!

[Maigo6]

None of us are perfect, and why have you chosen a lady from thailand if only to downgrade them all the time.

macb

Cos most of the bozos here can't get a women in their own countries, so they buy one in SE Asia and expect a written guarantee with their purchase.

Most of these guys run around the bars exploiting the situation, yet expect their latest long term purchase to be of high standards, if it wasn't so sad it would be funny.

My advice to the girls is this, get what you can while you can, before he trades you in for a younger model.

[kayo]

The old Trust-Test.

Your wife stands behind you and you fall over backwards to see if she catches you.

I would never try that with On.... she would get distracted by a bowl of fruit and I would need hospital treatment.

On everything else however, 100%

That was funny... oh.-.. bowls of :cheesy. fr uit...

Hiii... hang on, let me get my breath back...

Yeah, anyway.. anybody got a kleenex.. i`m .. tears..

back on topic:

I`ve bashed my ex.gf in a variety of threads but having said that, she was the best. It was only when i became untrustworthy that she followed suit. My fault.

Had I remained less drunk, and better behaved, she would have too.

had I not lied to her, she wouldn`t have to me either.

[Maigo6]

I`ve bashed my ex.gf in a variety of threads but having said that, she was the best. It was only when i became untrustworthy that she followed suit. My fault.

Had I remained less drunk, and better behaved, she would have too.

had I not lied to her, she wouldn`t have to me either.

I was talking to a guy in a short-time bar once, and he was telling me about untrustworthy Thai women, he went upstairs for a short-time, then said he had to go because his Wife was expecting him home soon..

True story.