First time in Thailand, and first Thai "girlfriend"

[Kenny202]

"Is dating a Thai a matter of immense patience?"

In a word, Yes. But if she is a good one it will be worth the effort. The only advice I can give is to forget everything you ever learned about dating. You are already off to a good start.

great advice. You have to be careful reading too many stories on here. Heed the advice but not to the point where it cripples Ur ability to progress. I was so distrustful of my current missus of three years for no good reason it's a wonder she persevered with me. Common sense. If it quacks like a duck...it probably is a duck

[Jim walker]

Not every girl in Thailand is a bar girl some are just normal girls and just shy stick with it and she might loosen up in time good luck in finding a good girl who is not all about boom boom and money money

[Kenny202]

Not every girl in Thailand is a bar girl some are just normal girls and just shy stick with it and she might loosen up in time good luck in finding a good girl who is not all about boom boom and money money

All about boom boom u want. Money money no

[AZBill]

Even though many Thai women desire a farang mate, Thai women in general have an inherent distrust of farang. No matter what social level they are from they have all heard stories about mistreatment and infidelity and many are true. She may say she's falling in love and that may be true but in the end it's trust that comes last and at that point if she is sincere she will give herself over to you heart and soul. The hand holding is her way of telling other Thai women hands off. The head thing could be cultural as other posters have alluded to. She's paying at this point because she's not all in yet. That was also the case with my wife in the beginning. Been married to a Thai very happily for many years. These comments are based on what she and her friends have told me over the years so from the horses' mouth. Good luck.

[Torrens54]

Hey, she NEVER used a Dating Service before, she's paying for your Dinner...ever heard the expression, "No such thing as a FREE Lunch"?

Keep taking notes mate, when you get home, you can probably write a pretty good "True Romance" yarn and get paid for it.

[coulson]

Jealousy is an interesting topic. Don't fall for the *farang fool around a lot* sob story and wind up at her beck and call. Another reason Thai women go on dating sites is they claim to be tired of Thai men tapping around on the side. There may be cultural differences but sex is a basic human desire.

I remember my first insane Thai girlfriend who would call continuously until I answered the phone. On one occasion it was 3pm as I was doing the patong hill on a honda click, in heavy rain. By the time I reached anywhere safe to pull over and stop the annoying phone vibrating my Johnson, there were 17 missed calls. She would claim to have been worried.

When we walked in the mall I almost had to keep my eyes closed to ensure I didn't accidentally make eye contact with some passing chick and have to deal with explaining it.

At least once a week she would call by my room at 5am before work just to hug me (and check the bathroom for hairs and maybe sniff my underwear)

She could not believe I was faithful under it all and it only came out when she got tipsy. Again, refusing to admit she was being insecure instead passing it off that because I was a farang I had options.

Be on the lookout for insecurity, on the other hand if a girl rocks your boat and allows you some freedom, go for it.

Sorry if this was long winded but it was 6 months I could have not wasted had I heed to some of the stuff you may read about here.

Edited August 18, 2015 by coulson

[Kenny202]

Jealousy is an interesting topic. Don't fall for the *farang fool around a lot* sob story and wind up at her beck and call. Another reason Thai women go on dating sites is they claim to be tired of Thai men tapping around on the side. There may be cultural differences but sex is a basic human desire.

I remember my first insane Thai girlfriend who would call continuously until I answered the phone. On one occasion it was 3pm as I was doing the patong hill on a honda click, in heavy rain. By the time I reached anywhere safe to pull over and stop the annoying phone vibrating my Johnson, there were 17 missed calls. She would claim to have been worried.

When we walked in the mall I almost had to keep my eyes closed to ensure I didn't accidentally make eye contact with some passing chick and have to deal with explaining it.

At least once a week she would call by my room at 5am before work just to hug me (and check the bathroom for hairs and maybe sniff my underwear)

She could not believe I was faithful under it all and it only came out when she got tipsy. Again, refusing to admit she was being insecure instead passing it off that because I was a farang I had options.

Be on the lookout for insecurity, on the other hand if a girl rocks your boat and allows you some freedom, go for it.

Sorry if this was long winded but it was 6 months I could have not wasted had I heed to some of the stuff you may read about here.

I thought they were all like that and it was normal :-( The 17 missed calls bit and eye contact particularly :-( I know a lot of blokes cliche about "thai man no good" but if you live up country you would totally understand. Mind u a lot of the girls don't have a lot to offer "after the thrill is gone". In truth most are lookung for a better life and in love with the idea of hollywood and hearts and flowers and nothing wrong with that but not many can makd the cultural cross over easilly. As far as insecurity goes. It must be tough for them. In our village and area here if I was a willing participant I wouldn't have to walk much further than a few hundred metres from home. Some throw themselves at me in front of her. Have had 2 local girls copy my photo into their Facebook alluding I was their new farang boyfriend and another claiming I was her child's new dad. Have had to physically restrain the Mrs from violence on occasion Edited August 18, 2015 by Kenny202

[MAJIC]

Ahhh! the first Thai girlfriend experience, I doubt any of us would have missed it,many of us arrived in Thailand, fresh out of a western divorce or breakup,and still raw with open wounds, and in a trice we have a gorgeous young lady,falling over herself to be with us,how could we resist,there is nothing on this planet guaranteed to heed the process of recovery from a divorce or relationship breakup,than to have a beautiful Lady requiring your company,and just what the bruised and battered Ego needs most.

So all credit to the Thai Ladies,they know how to turn on the charm,it comes natural to them,for the Tourist it's fatal to think of this situation as permanent,as long as both parties understand that more often than not,it's just a very pleasant experience,and not meant to be life changing !

Edited August 18, 2015 by MAJIC

[Crazy chef 1]

She is a female. I am sure of it. I am just wondering if this is some slow paced thai dating, or if its something else I should look out for. She has never used a dating site before. I just find it odd why she is saying she may love me, says she always misses me, and pays for alot when we do go out. I've meet her friends already...very nice group. No I wasn't forced to pay for there meals. She seems attracted but distant cant put my finger on it.

Try a little lower.

Haha, I am in the clear. Hands are good, adams apple is clear, voice is petite actually sings very well.

And the size of her shoes is a normal 12...

[konying]

She is a female. I am sure of it. I am just wondering if this is some slow paced thai dating, or if its something else I should look out for. She has never used a dating site before. I just find it odd why she is saying she may love me, says she always misses me, and pays for alot when we do go out. I've meet her friends already...very nice group. No I wasn't forced to pay for there meals. She seems attracted but distant cant put my finger on it.

I do not know if you trolling or really unable to use head above the shoulders .

Yes it's the first time she used dating site and jumped onto first foreigner who messaged her.

And let me guess she does not like Thai guys , has a great job and many friends in hi so places .

Do not worry all is true and the guy sending her money is just a distant brother from another mother

[Aussieroaming]

I was going to help you until you referred to us as seniors..CHUNT.

[steven100]

Quick !!!! where's the TROLL METER !!!

[1BADDAT]

This has all the signs of trolling. Includes vague information about details that matter and detailed information about things that dont matter. Regardless if you are not trolling then these are the questions that would help answer your questions.

How long have you been dating?

How many dates have you gone on?

How long did it take from initial contact until you went on the first date?

How old is she?

How old are you?

Are you at a private place when you try and kiss her head?

Why on earth would you try and kiss her head? Super creepy and weird. You are not her dad, and I suspect you added that to bait people about the whole thai not touching someones head thing.

[slipperylobster]

Hey, she NEVER used a Dating Service before, she's paying for your Dinner...ever heard the expression, "No such thing as a FREE Lunch"?

Keep taking notes mate, when you get home, you can probably write a pretty good "True Romance" yarn and get paid for it.

Look them in the eyes, when they are reaching for their money to pay the bill, and say:

"Are you paying this bill because you do not want to feel obligated to have sex with me, if i pay?"

That way..you get free lunch....or sex...(if she decides she is tired of paying)

Edited August 19, 2015 by slipperylobster

[crazykopite]

Did she see the colour of your ATM card. !! My brother who works in Dubai loves coming to Bangkok he comes at least 6 times a year and falls in love every time but he is single and earns plenty of money on his last visit which was only a few weeks back he told his latest girlfriend to order a bottle of wine for there dinner . When the bill came at the end of the evening the bottle of wine cost was in access of 10,000 baht !!!! He learnt his lesson and by the next day she was sent packing he now prefers to go and have a soapy when he gets the urge , maybe you should do the same because it ain't your food looks or what's in your trousers it's all about how thick your wallet is !!!!!!

[Shiver]

When I read the OP I thought "how many pages is this post going to be?". I haven't read all responses so please excuse if I'm repeating what someone else has said (I need to leave the house shortly so can come back to read the full thread later).

From what you've written I don't see any alarm bells yet (though it does sound like she's playing a long game and will expect a substantial return on her investment - turning a meal or two into a house or two).

Intimate contact in public in Thailand is not really how they do things in non commercial places, and I can easily understand that she might make excuses (dirty hair fake excuse) in an effort to help you not lose face from her point of view, even if you don't care about face loss at all from your (presumably) non Thai upbringing - most westerners just want honesty, but can't interpret the differences and misread the behaviour.

There is that thing where they mistake kindness for stupidity, and also white lies for face saving, but still you need to be aware of the whoppers of fakery should they ever arise, as usually we don't know we've been run over until after the event.

If it were me, I'd be quite happy with the way it's progressing, and would see the 'slowly slowly' thing as a plus (so long as I was prepared and able to see it through for real commitment). Even though there are a lot of lies and distortion, and remembering also that Thais can be extremely pragmatic when deciding relationships and dropping them in a heartbeat if they see a better security option for their future, they are human and do have feelings like we all do, but they may act in a different way than we might, which is when the hurt can start.

I would suggest that you be straight with her at all times in all matters, then whatever she does she knows that it wasn't you that made it fail (if that should happen). You'll sleep a little easier at night knowing that you left them better than you found them.

[mango66]

Yes I am new. Very new actually. That's why I am reaching to the seniors on here. Seeking advice/experience what to watch out for what not to worry about.

mail her back every time, you miss her, you love her, you meet her on eve for dinner;

It costs you nothing,

enjoy this for 2 months + 30 days extension of tourist visa,

In 90 days for sure you know where you are ;

Request a nice Condo or villa ?

have your Credit card the correct limit for the payment of the wedding ??

dont think now already hoe to dewarse - she knows it !!

Her friends are very happy with you of cause,

as they will share with her the condo villa you wil have left !!

[wprime]

Hey, she NEVER used a Dating Service before, she's paying for your Dinner...ever heard the expression, "No such thing as a FREE Lunch"?

That's rubbish, I met my last ex-gf on a dating site, we were together for four and a half years. By my calculations she got about 1642 free lunches.

[jgold]

I went on dates w more than 30 girls from thaifriendly. 3 were my gfs for about 6 months each, 1 of them I found out was married to a Thai guy and the other had a sugar daddy in Singapore. I never believed the stories I read about thai women but they are out there for sure.

I always avoid Isan girls, the minute they tell me they are from NE thailand I disappear. DONT WASTE YOU TIME W THESE.

I think you get more quality women at Tinder than thaifriendly. I got plenty of experience dating thai women and if you are smart enough shoot for the ones w good careers, again Tinder has more of them.

TF has a lot of low income thai women, if thai men dont want them so neither should you.

I also found that many thai women above 35 have hepatitis, mostly from Isan - another reason to avoid them.

If she can hold a conversation that is a PLUS. Most thai women don't do that or don't know how to.

My first was a thai village girl, she was loyal and honest but dumb as a donkey. I would never date a village girl again and don't recommend to anyone.

I was not looking for a short term dating, I was serious about finding a wife.

Best dating advice is not more than 10yrs apart and in the same level (education, career) as you. Most of the girls I dated studied overseas. If she never been outside of thailand for me it means not worth pursuing.

Edited August 19, 2015 by jgold

[Dogbreath]

Just be careful. Take it easy and don't rush. If you intend to stay long term, you have lots of time. I found that my ideas of what type of Thai girl I wanted when I first got here and now have changed greatly. Hopefully, she speaks good English. If she does not already, it is doubtful she will want to learn unless she goes to live in an English speaking country. I learned a bit late on that score and am involved with a lovely Thai lady who understands a little and speaks none at all. It is a source of constant frustration since my Thai is not all that good. Ask your GF if her grandparents speak English. If yes, then you will have an easier time of it. If no, there will be some challenges. If there are three generations of English speakers in the family, they are more likely to be receptive to Western culture. My 2c worth.

Enjoy. Thai women are special, but choose wisely

[tomyumchai]

if you really want true love without any financial disasters you need to marry a chinese/thai doctor whos family are well connected in BKK, just like all the other posters that are lining up to take the piss out of you.

....otherwise just keep an open mind but never, ever continue it once money requests or business suggestions come into play, walk on and find another.....and there are more, lots more. it just depends on how desparate you are to part with everything you have.....and i have seen MANY suckers like that over the years, and new nes all the time.

.....id say most of them sit on here all day making their shit lives seem better by attacking everyone else.

[tingtongfarang]

Thai dating websites are ok for fun,

Want a relationship? Get a dog!

[fish fingers]

if you really want true love without any financial disasters you need to marry a chinese/thai doctor whos family are well connected in BKK, just like all the other posters that are lining up to take the piss out of you.

....otherwise just keep an open mind but never, ever continue it once money requests or business suggestions come into play, walk on and find another.....and there are more, lots more. it just depends on how desparate you are to part with everything you have.....and i have seen MANY suckers like that over the years, and new nes all the time.

.....id say most of them sit on here all day making their shit lives seem better by attacking everyone else.

Good post and +1 on choosing chinese/thai.

There are nice upcountry girls but marry one and you'll be supporting a family network

Re suckers and losers, you meet many foreigners in Thailand with a plantation owner attitude, but without the riches or social skills to back it up. If they left x country because they couldn't make it work, it won't work in Thailand either. Hence why I have just 2 or 3 'farang' friends in Thailand.

Edited August 19, 2015 by fish fingers

[seancbk]

She is a female. I am sure of it. I am just wondering if this is some slow paced thai dating, or if its something else I should look out for. She has never used a dating site before. I just find it odd why she is saying she may love me, says she always misses me, and pays for alot when we do go out. I've meet her friends already...very nice group. No I wasn't forced to pay for there meals. She seems attracted but distant cant put my finger on it.

What is your age and nationality?

Would you consider yourself attractive?

Are you a fatty or slim and fit?

Is she attractive?

Is she well dressed?

Are her friends well dressed?

Did you eat somewhere decent or was it just a cheap Thai place?

What age is she?

Has she told you where she works or what she does?

Without at least some of those details its hard to say if you've lucked out and found a genuine 'nice' girl.

It is possible you have, despite what the jealous grumpy old women haters on this forum think.

Good luck.

[little mary sunshine]

SSDD....Same Sh.t, Different Day

1. Could be ladyboy

2. You so hasum !!

3. Buy me gold

4. Mama sick need B3000 foe hospital

5. We build house on Mama land

RUN FOREST RUN !!

[jgold]

if you really want true love without any financial disasters you need to marry a chinese/thai doctor whos family are well connected in BKK, just like all the other posters that are lining up to take the piss out of you.

....otherwise just keep an open mind but never, ever continue it once money requests or business suggestions come into play, walk on and find another.....and there are more, lots more. it just depends on how desparate you are to part with everything you have.....and i have seen MANY suckers like that over the years, and new nes all the time.

.....id say most of them sit on here all day making their shit lives seem better by attacking everyone else.

I also agree w this. My wife to be is chinese and at the end I also looked for chinese thai mix. Singaporeans I also find better than thai.

[elgordo38]

What do you want? Seems like a quick shag isn't on the cards, so are you looking for some kind of, God forbid, "relationship"? How long are you here for? Don't over-analyse it but if you're not having fun, I'd move on. Plenty of other girls around and this one seems like hard work.

Tell us more your age her age to see the difference. How long are you here for is a good question as Thai ladies like in country relationships not an Italian "honeymoon" Things move fast here and her past "luck" with men might not have been to good so she sees you as a good prospect. To make a good marriage is at the top of their/her shopping list while the one at the top of a mans is different. Move slowly. If she wants you to meet the parents soon you know your definitely on her/their radar. They the parents will be probing in their nature as the financial well being of their daughter comes first. Its a trial and error thing and boy errors I can really fill you in there.

[elgordo38]

Make sure you have sex with her before you marry her. Make that a requirement.

Also see if she gives a good massage....tell her your back hurts.

Check out her cooking...and if she is worldly enough to try out some farang food...not strictly thai.

Most of all.....tell her you cannot pay sin sod...can pay for a wedding and a bit of gold.

All the above is good advice

[LNKDES1]

Your education is just beginning.

Most of us on this forum have graduated already... some of us cum laude.

And several of us with multiple majors.

[SOTIRIOS]

...if you think you know better...don't bother asking...

..good luck....

...she knows what she is doing....you haven't got a clue.....

...first date....wake up......