Thais Judging Thais

[puukao]

What about farangs judging farangs about how thais judge thais?

[blazes]

Jingthing, you are right, they are judging me. But, I will never feel the same pain. Because I don't really care what some low life lounge manager thinks of me. If I was Thai, I would feel different being judged unfairly by my own people.

I would have had it out with him. Being quiet and just taking it is not my way. But you probably did it the right way.

Mind you I had the look of distain back in the UK when I went into a high class jewellary store in t-shirt and jeans. It was only when I told the assistant I had come to collect a couple of Cartier watches and gave him my gold AMEX card did his attitude change.

Why did you need two watches?

why did you need two POSH watches?

[NoshowJones]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

You have a point, the OP was 100% wrong in walking in to an upmarket hotel wearing shorts.

If he had been wearing jeans, I would have sided with him.

[metisdead]

Inflammatory posts and replies have been removed.

[NoshowJones]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

What on earth are you talking about?

Bangkok, high noon, hot as hell - you think none of that hotel's female guests would have been wearing shorts, trainers and T-shirts?

There was absolutely nothing inappropriate about his wife's attire.

Fair enough they'd been in a London hotel on a crisp Autumn afternoon but they weren't, were they?

No, that restaurant manager's attitude was deplorable.

I agree with you entirely where the OPs wife is concerned, but it seems the OP was also wearing shorts, and maybe that had something to do with the managers attitude.

[NoshowJones]

it was probably just a misunderstanding, many big hotels like the Erawan and four seasons try to maintain a good status, but in the lobbies and hotel bars the prostitutes are always loitering, even dressing up with designer clothes they are trying to catch a rich traveler or business man. Perhaps the staff only spotted her sitting alone, or thought she was a bar girl looking for her next jump because they must get a lot of them. She should responded quickly and efficiently to the manager and ensured him she was not, but she understands his concern at trying to keep the hotel in a respectable order.

It is wrong to assume that a girl is a bargirl because of how she dresses.

[Berkshire]

it was probably just a misunderstanding, many big hotels like the Erawan and four seasons try to maintain a good status, but in the lobbies and hotel bars the prostitutes are always loitering, even dressing up with designer clothes they are trying to catch a rich traveler or business man. Perhaps the staff only spotted her sitting alone, or thought she was a bar girl looking for her next jump because they must get a lot of them. She should responded quickly and efficiently to the manager and ensured him she was not, but she understands his concern at trying to keep the hotel in a respectable order.

It is wrong to assume that a girl is a bargirl because of how she dresses.

If I see a farang guy covered with tattoos, wearing a mohawk, piercings, and no shirt on, I'm going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

If I see a farang guy in an Armani suit and tie, I'm also going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

All pretty normal human behavior, I would think.

[LivinLOS]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you dont play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This is actually a very good post.

No it is not. Confirmation of ....shallowness.....

No its a confirmation of knowing how the world works...

Doubly so in 'nice hotels' in a city known for sex tourism.

[LivinLOS]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

You are probably right. But, let me ask you this. Do you think if I was with a Western woman or a woman from anywhere else for that matter this would have happened? I think not. To me, it looked like he was trying to make a statement. Thai women walks in off the street with a Farang can only mean one thing. Just for information. For what it's worth, there is a seven year difference in our age. So, it doesn't look that different in ages. At the time I was 52.

With a black westernised woman ?? Very very possible.

[LivinLOS]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you don’t play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This post could have been written by an old man in the 1960s.

Decorum does not go out of style..

[gandalf12]

Jingthing, you are right, they are judging me. But, I will never feel the same pain. Because I don't really care what some low life lounge manager thinks of me. If I was Thai, I would feel different being judged unfairly by my own people.

I would have had it out with him. Being quiet and just taking it is not my way. But you probably did it the right way.

Mind you I had the look of distain back in the UK when I went into a high class jewellary store in t-shirt and jeans. It was only when I told the assistant I had come to collect a couple of Cartier watches and gave him my gold AMEX card did his attitude change.

Why did you need two watches?

why did you need two POSH watches?

One was mine the other was my wife's

[NoshowJones]

it was probably just a misunderstanding, many big hotels like the Erawan and four seasons try to maintain a good status, but in the lobbies and hotel bars the prostitutes are always loitering, even dressing up with designer clothes they are trying to catch a rich traveler or business man. Perhaps the staff only spotted her sitting alone, or thought she was a bar girl looking for her next jump because they must get a lot of them. She should responded quickly and efficiently to the manager and ensured him she was not, but she understands his concern at trying to keep the hotel in a respectable order.

It is wrong to assume that a girl is a bargirl because of how she dresses.

If I see a farang guy covered with tattoos, wearing a mohawk, piercings, and no shirt on, I'm going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

If I see a farang guy in an Armani suit and tie, I'm also going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

All pretty normal human behavior, I would think.

Yes, I agree with you, but I would never trust a guy, Thai or Farang or any nationality, wearing a suit and tie.

[villagefarang]

it was probably just a misunderstanding, many big hotels like the Erawan and four seasons try to maintain a good status, but in the lobbies and hotel bars the prostitutes are always loitering, even dressing up with designer clothes they are trying to catch a rich traveler or business man. Perhaps the staff only spotted her sitting alone, or thought she was a bar girl looking for her next jump because they must get a lot of them. She should responded quickly and efficiently to the manager and ensured him she was not, but she understands his concern at trying to keep the hotel in a respectable order.

It is wrong to assume that a girl is a bargirl because of how she dresses.

If I see a farang guy covered with tattoos, wearing a mohawk, piercings, and no shirt on, I'm going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

If I see a farang guy in an Armani suit and tie, I'm also going to have preconceived notions of the guy.

All pretty normal human behavior, I would think.

Yes, I agree with you, but I would never trust a guy, Thai or Farang or any nationality, wearing a suit and tie.

Does someone automatically become trustworthy the moment they remove their suit and or tie?

[NoshowJones]

Village Farang, I think you know what I mean.

[Bulldozer Dawn]

My previous TGF is a lawyer. We went to have dinner with some farang friends of mine in a 5 star hotel in Phuket. The security asked my girl for her ID card so that they could copy it (in front of my friends who where introducing themselves to my girl).

The security guard now has two holes out of which he can poo.

[villagefarang]

Village Farang, I think you know what I mean.

Yes, I do but I don’t agree. There was a time when I worked in a 5 star hotel in Bangkok which meant I pretty much lived in a suit and tie during that phase of my life. One wears what is appropriate for the environment and the occasion. I certainly wouldn’t dress that way in a biker bar. I am still the same person regardless of what I wear and I adapt my manners and apparel to suit the situation.

[Typingdog]

I think it should be clear now that no one know who your TGF is . Better thing to do is not to dress and act like hooker. But if those staff still have problem with it. Then it's their problem.

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[Berkshire]

Village Farang, I think you know what I mean.

Yes, I do but I don’t agree. There was a time when I worked in a 5 star hotel in Bangkok which meant I pretty much lived in a suit and tie during that phase of my life. One wears what is appropriate for the environment and the occasion. I certainly wouldn’t dress that way in a biker bar. I am still the same person regardless of what I wear and I adapt my manners and apparel to suit the situation.

I agree. The OP trying to make this out to be a unique thing, that only Thais judge Thais, is rather naive of how the world works. Farangs judge farangs, in Thailand and elsewhere. Americans sure as heck judge other Americans. It could be by the way people dress, their mannerism, race, body shape...whatever. People are often judged simply by first impressions. I can see why the OP's upset, but if he tries to evaluate the circumstances and the context, at least he should understand.

[MaeJoMTB]

If anyone had talked to my misses like that, she would have beaten them to death with the nearest pool cue .............

Oh, god, what am I admitting, seriously she's a Chula educated, wealthy, light skinned, half Chinese, hi-so

[Typingdog]

If anyone had talked to my misses like that, she would have beaten them to death with the nearest pool cue .............

Oh, god, what am I admitting, seriously she's a Chula educated, wealthy, light skinned, half Chinese, hi-so

I don't think it's about skin color. I See hooker with pale skin. I think it all about manner that play the big part and the cloths too.

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[BngkkB]

Does anyone believe that some "People" feel higher up by knocking other "People" down? For most it is the only way to be seen better then others. Sad but in some cultures true.

[nidieunimaitre]

Does anyone believe that some "People" feel higher up by knocking other "People" down? For most it is the only way to be seen better then others. Sad but in some cultures true.

In "some" cultures?

If that includes Thai and Farang cultures, I agree.

Let's keep it simple: Which culture, now or in the past, is an exception you think?

[metisdead]

Posts containing inflammatory comments and inappropriate language have been removed.