My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

[StarrTV]

Stop torturing yourself. Find a girl closer to home who doesn't play games with your emotions. This one is bad news.

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[FrankyHanky]

just an off-topic question...

do you guys know if it has a special meaning when some girls paint some little stars on their faces?

Never seen that before. Only in Thailand...Sorry didn't find a better picture Not only Bargirls/dancer have these stars, also seen on "normal" girls

Edited September 18, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[Linzz]

Not that I'm aware of any particular meaning. Just fashionable decoration I would imagine. Young Thai women are great followers of fashion. None would deliberately mark themselves to say they are a "type" if that's what you are asking.

I don't know how long TV archives material but you should pick up this thread in a year or so, I would like to know how you got on.

Remember if you eventually marry her, you don't own her. All you've done is agreed to be together for companionship, maybe family and a promise not to hurt each other. That's it.

I don't really know a lot about my Thai wife's past, only what she's told me, that it was hard and she feels she worked before she was even born! .

She doesn't seem to be the type but she could have sold her arse years before I met her for all I know. If I asked she would say no if she had or she hadn't. So I don't ask. What she did before I met her is not really my concern. I am not disappointed in her, she's such a a hard worker and a natural person to be around and has no issues about anything and that is all I need. Nothing more.

Good luck for the future

Edited September 18, 2015 by Linzz

[Bellacissa]

Being here a month or two won't make any difference. These are all excuses I've heard from the various "girlfriends" of guys I know when they need a day off for their real life:

• I'm going to the temple to pray. Be gone all day and too tired to go out tonight. See you tomorrow.
• You need to have fun with your guy friends tonight. Be good. No short time. See you tomorrow.
• My roommate had a motorbike accident. I go see her at the hospital tonight. See you tomorrow.
• My father is sick. I have to go up country to see him for two days. Be good. No short time. See you on Monday.

And on, and on, and on... Not one excuse turned out to be anything other than her going to see another guy. If, after one trip over, you already see the writing on the wall, don't hang around. As far as arguments go, that's pretty much par for the course. They're very friendly, but fiercely passionate about their opinions.

That being said, not all girls are like that. I have a few Thai friends that are faithful as can be to their long distance boyfriend. But, none of them have ever been bar girls, either. If she didn't take you up to show you where she works and meet her co-workers, she likely doesn't have an office to take you to. If she was that devoted, she would have shown you off to everyone she knows.

My advice is to cut bait. Come back to Thailand and enjoy the company of several girls before you even consider finding the "right" one to settle down with. You'll know it when you find her, because she won't give you any reason to doubt her.

[55Jay]

just an off-topic question...

do you guys know if it has a special meaning when some girls paint some little stars on their faces?

Never seen that before. Only in Thailand...Sorry didn't find a better picture Not only Bargirls/dancer have these stars, also seen on "normal" girls

Only a troll would choose this photo.

[FrankyHanky]

just an off-topic question...

do you guys know if it has a special meaning when some girls paint some little stars on their faces?

Never seen that before. Only in Thailand...Sorry didn't find a better picture Not only Bargirls/dancer have these stars, also seen on "normal" girls

Only a troll would choose this photo.

I can assure you i'm not a troll! I do not invest so much of my time only to make fun! I'm here to get some advice of people who have more experience with Thailand, their culture and their women.

[55Jay]

just an off-topic question...

do you guys know if it has a special meaning when some girls paint some little stars on their faces?

Never seen that before. Only in Thailand...Sorry didn't find a better picture Not only Bargirls/dancer have these stars, also seen on "normal" girls

Only a troll would choose this photo.

I can assure you i'm not a troll! I do not invest so much of my time only to make fun! I'm here to get some advice of people who have more experience with Thailand, their culture and their women.

10 pages later...... Even my dog knows the simple answer to your simple question that people have told you over and over again. Seek help for your obsessive compulsive behaviour before it does your head in. End of.

Edited September 19, 2015 by 55Jay

[micmichd]

Hopefully you asked the Thai lady for permission to publish this photo.

The stars painted on the cheek probably mean nothing much. European girls use them too sometimes, on Carneval or New Year's Eve or on parties. Guess they're just for fun.

[ttthailand]

For what it's worth.... I think it is important to know someone's past. If a woman had sex with a few guys not a problem but if it is a few hundred than you need to be a little more concerned about things like HIV as she might not test positive until years later. In addition it shows a pattern of perhaps low self worth or being a nypho who will be looking for sex when you are not there to provide.

But number of sex partners is only one piece of the puzzle that you need to figure out. We study history because history can repeat itself. His she been hooked on drugs and will do again ? Has she been in prison ? Does she gamble ? Does she have large debt ? Etc etc

Nothing wrong with asking someone about their past. If they avoid giving answers there is room for concern.

Edited September 19, 2015 by ttthailand

[micmichd]

Both of you can get an HIV test. Ask doctors for incubation times. And don't ask Christians about 'nymphos'

[juice777]

Not that I'm aware of any particular meaning. Just fashionable decoration I would imagine. Young Thai women are great followers of fashion. None would deliberately mark themselves to say they are a "type" if that's what you are asking.

I don't know how long TV archives material but you should pick up this thread in a year or so, I would like to know how you got on.

Remember if you eventually marry her, you don't own her. All you've done is agreed to be together for companionship, maybe family and a promise not to hurt each other. That's it.

I don't really know a lot about my Thai wife's past, only what she's told me, that it was hard and she feels she worked before she was even born! .

She doesn't seem to be the type but she could have sold her arse years before I met her for all I know. If I asked she would say no if she had or she hadn't. So I don't ask. What she did before I met her is not really my concern. I am not disappointed in her, she's such a a hard worker and a natural person to be around and has no issues about anything and that is all I need. Nothing more.

Good luck for the future

I think you have hit the nail on the head there mate

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[Linzz]

For what it's worth.... I think it is important to know someone's past. If a woman had sex with a few guys not a problem but if it is a few hundred than you need to be a little more concerned about things like HIV as she might not test positive until years later. In addition it shows a pattern of perhaps low self worth or being a nypho who will be looking for sex when you are not there to provide.

But number of sex partners is only one piece of the puzzle that you need to figure out. We study history because history can repeat itself. His she been hooked on drugs and will do again ? Has she been in prison ? Does she gamble ? Does she have large debt ? Etc etc

Nothing wrong with asking someone about their past. If they avoid giving answers there is room for concern.

Most negative behavior is usually self evident. Drink drugs and a propensity to gamble will be happening for you to witness. That's where your own common sense should prevail. Medical concerns can be tested and if it's mutually agreeable for both to be, as it should be to be fair, then there are no issues from either side. Thai women deserve protection too. This is not a one sided issue.

If you are looking to export your missus to another country then everything is automatically tested including blood tests and police records before visas are granted which is useful. If everything which can be known is cleared then you should have little to worry about.

There is a point to be reached where you cannot probe any further without breaching trust and spoiling the relationship.That's where you will be told that you're tinking too mutt. Everyone is entitled to their own private space which is only shared by free choice.

[Strangebrew]

In the end we are all whores married or not we see goodlooking woman first thing we say to ourselfs is I'd <deleted> that. The truth so in the end Thai or non Thai not matter if your happy and think with the big head and not do a gainer out of 20 story window for some tat then all is good. Just protect your assets even family fights over them when your gone.

[puffy]

@ FrankyHanky:

Did it ever come to your idea that this Thai lady simply fell in love with you?

I would advice you to come to Thailand and find out yourself asap.

Come and learn something about her culture. Go to a temple with her, and go to visit her family. If they will accept you then it should be oK.

You're comparably young, and you obviously have a good job in France. Keep it as long as you can. Maybe you can invite your girlfriend to France some day.

If you really want to marry her, you should have some money for sin sod (dowry)

Do you have an idea what sin sod is for?

I am sure he probably dismissed that idea as it is pretty

obvious even to him that he has some major personality flaws.

Do you mean comparably young to all the old Farang that she has been shagging.

[micmichd]

@ FrankyHanky:

Did it ever come to your idea that this Thai lady simply fell in love with you?

I would advice you to come to Thailand and find out yourself asap.

Come and learn something about her culture. Go to a temple with her, and go to visit her family. If they will accept you then it should be oK.

You're comparably young, and you obviously have a good job in France. Keep it as long as you can. Maybe you can invite your girlfriend to France some day.

If you really want to marry her, you should have some money for sin sod (dowry)

Do you have an idea what sin sod is for?

I am sure he probably dismissed that idea as it is pretty

obvious even to him that he has some major personality flaws.

Do you mean comparably young to all the old Farang that she has been shagging.

Comparably to me.

[sipi]

What was the question again?

Oh, is my girlfriend cheating?

Ummmm, yep.

[thaibeachlovers]

For what it's worth.... I think it is important to know someone's past. If a woman had sex with a few guys not a problem but if it is a few hundred than you need to be a little more concerned about things like HIV as she might not test positive until years later. In addition it shows a pattern of perhaps low self worth or being a nypho who will be looking for sex when you are not there to provide.

But number of sex partners is only one piece of the puzzle that you need to figure out. We study history because history can repeat itself. His she been hooked on drugs and will do again ? Has she been in prison ? Does she gamble ? Does she have large debt ? Etc etc

Nothing wrong with asking someone about their past. If they avoid giving answers there is room for concern.

Only takes one screw to get HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, pregnant, etc etc.

What's the number that's acceptable, 5, 10, 20, 40, etc?

I take it anyone with that philosophy doesn't screw around themselves.

Girls that screw around for free at home more likely to be infected as drunk and don't use a condom.

[FrankyHanky]

I broke up with her. There are too many things that seem wrong to me. Maybe i'm wrong and she's a "good girl", but i will never find out. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, but she blocked and stopped talking.

I think it's the only way. Just let her go.

Thank you guys for all your given advise here. I really appreciate that. Cheers!

[Berkshire]

I broke up with her. There are too many things that seem wrong to me. Maybe i'm wrong and she's a "good girl", but i will never find out. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, but she blocked and stopped talking.

I think it's the only way. Just let her go.

Thank you guys for all your given advise here. I really appreciate that. Cheers!

Congrats dude. Now go out there and find a new one!

[Linzz]

I broke up with her. There are too many things that seem wrong to me. Maybe i'm wrong and she's a "good girl", but i will never find out. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, but she blocked and stopped talking.

I think it's the only way. Just let her go.

Thank you guys for all your given advise here. I really appreciate that. Cheers!

Congrats dude. Now go out there and find a new one!

Absolutely! Think you've done yourself a favor bud and you've got back some control because you've followed your intuition.

There are many many simple and uncomplicated beautiful women out there that won't give you a headache so never get fixated only on one, especially if she's elusive.It might be intriguing but the stress aint worth the not knowing and just does your head in.

[FrankyHanky]

The only thing what bothers me is the fact that i still don't know if she was honest or a liar.

If she was honest to me than it was definitely a mistake to let her go. Because despite everything she's an amazing woman. I will definitely miss her messages, her voice and her smile. On the other hand she didn't take the trouble to explain it to me, she didn't take the trouble to take away m concerns. She just suddenly blocked and stopped talking. Maybe it's a Thai-thing, but i usually want to talk about problems to get them solved.

I just said to her that i don't understand a few things she has told me and that i have some concerns. Whatever, i need to start a new chapter now.

Edited September 22, 2015 by FrankyHanky

[fang37]

Thai are not known for discussing their problems, They don't have problems - face.

If you don't trust your lady now, you never will?

When in doubt, don't

I have a Nthn wife (not Isaan) - working class family. Wife is university educated. She has changed heaps (better & worse) but overall I am very contented.

[FrankyHanky]

Ok, now i'm sure that she wasn't honest to about everything. And she definitely has not loved me, because today (one day after we broke up!) she is active again on serveral dating sites. Nobody would do that straight after you broke up with someone

[optad]

I don't think i could bear it if you gave her one for the road.

Stay resolved. Thai television is less painful.

[HooHaa]

jesus, she had a life before you.

were you hoping to take the shrink wrap off yourself?

[Linzz]

HooHaa is right an attractive woman has many suitors and a lot of choice. She could see you were going to make her life complicated and has taken the path of least resistance and has already moved on. In some ways you did it to yourself too, Thai women IMO don't like dramas and mental challenges, girls just wanna have fun.She wasn't ready for anything serious yet, if ever

You two were not suited I'm sure so don't be tempted to go back there.........

[atyclb]

Look Tolkien....I fell asleep after the first 1000 words. Anyone who would sleep with you on a first date is not marriage material.

From personal experiences i dont think that is necessarily true. nowadays and for a while already high school and uni girls are very open sexually and rapidly with their peers.

if 2 people have chemistry theres nothing wrong.

[MrBrilliant]

Ok, now i'm sure that she wasn't honest to about everything. And she definitely has not loved me, because today (one day after we broke up!) she is active again on serveral dating sites. Nobody would do that straight after you broke up with someone

Well it looks like you've found out the truth albeit the hard way mate. Now it's time to get out there and find one of the many, many decent Thai women out there and have barrels of fun while doing so.

Good Luck.

[dennis123]

Ok, now i'm sure that she wasn't honest to about everything. And she definitely has not loved me, because today (one day after we broke up!) she is active again on serveral dating sites. Nobody would do that straight after you broke up with someone

Dude, you never had a relationship with her, so there wasn't a break up either lol, and of course she's active on dating sites again, looking for her next prey

ps: The first thing when I end a relationship or someone ends a relationship with me is visit a bar, get drunk and screw whoever I can!!!

Yeah what else? Sitting in a room full of self pity, <deleted> that.

[Berkshire]

Ok, now i'm sure that she wasn't honest to about everything. And she definitely has not loved me, because today (one day after we broke up!) she is active again on serveral dating sites. Nobody would do that straight after you broke up with someone

She never thought of you as a boyfriend. Your instincts were right about her from the beginning, when she slept with you that first night. She sounds like a serial farang-hunter. These kinds of girls can never have just one farang, always multiple. It's in their nature.