Relationships in thailand

[Nomyai]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

weird. what could possibly be the big secret ?

maybe her past relationship that lasted two years with another falang went wrong somewhere ?

she is embarrassed to tell mom that she is in relationship with falang?

she probably makes 150,000$ a year and i am well well over that, so i don't know what the issue is as it has nothing to do with money

its very puzzling for me, and i let go about the issue, because she isn't going anywhere, and neither am i.

but seriously strange

if any others have opinions please shed light thanks

if you are uncomfortable get rid of her. maybe you are just a toy.

id get rid of a MATERIALISTIC girl in a minute. after having boom boom of course..............hahahaha.

Edited October 4, 2015 by Nomyai

[Petchabun Man]

Answer: Her mom knows she has another boyfriend already that is likely arriving the moment you leave.

[Bernard Flint]

My relationship works well, we are super rich also.Her chinese/thai family are very jealous but accept me, as my millions will be left to the three dogs, and they love animals

[1FinickyOne]

No need for mom to know and get concerned or upset - she will bring you home when she is ready… which is likely when she feels you have similar intentions - if you are just a boyfriend for fun, why bring her mother into this… she will not think it is so much fun.

[Muzarella]

If your girlfriend is very young, never married or on a close relationship, and her family traditional Buddhist, she probably will keep the appearances, at least, until getting a serious marriage proposal.

I am married 4 years with a 46 years old divorced woman, very fit and beautiful, and she still reluctant in dress in a western fashion, in show intimacy with acts and words in public, and specially in front of her family...even sometimes.... in the privacy of our home.

If I criticized that, her response always is, " you are farang, and I am Thai ... and you didn't find me on the streets..."

Very bad.. because I am Italian, and women in Europe do not have problems in show her bodies on beaches. We are going to get a vacation in Samui soon for first time, and the only problem... if she wanted to be naked on the beach...it is me..I am a lot older, and fat. If not..will be OK with me.

Anyway..that never will happen. She is Thai....very Thai.

Edited October 4, 2015 by Muzarella

[fang37]

The beach holiday will be interesting 555.

My lady is a Nthn girl - fears the water.

Will not dress even in a modest bikini.

[Nomyai]

The beach holiday will be interesting 555.

My lady is a Nthn girl - fears the water.

Will not dress even in a modest bikini.

Maybe they seen photos of eu women with hair protruding out of their bikinis................hahahaha.

[Nomyai]

The beach holiday will be interesting 555.

My lady is a Nthn girl - fears the water.

Will not dress even in a modest bikini.

Maybe they seen photos of eu women with hair protruding out of their bikinis................hahahaha.

[TuskegeeBen]

Think you have issues about being black there.

Like baiting a mouse-trap. I already knew that one (off-topic reply) was coming You're totally predictable, know-it-all "troller", and totally right! Now,........are you happy? Did I make your day? Huh? Duh?

Edited October 4, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[fang37]

The beach holiday will be interesting 555.

My lady is a Nthn girl - fears the water.

Will not dress even in a modest bikini.

Maybe they seen photos of eu women with hair protruding out of their bikinis................hahahaha.

Your reference to pubic hair. Seen it=revolting!

My experience with Thai birds - well manicured in that region=a delight.

[kungpao]

Ask her why?

[HerbalEd]

It's most likely your friend and not Thai culture. I'd be asking myself why doesn't "she" want her family to know me.

[bazza40]

Option 1

Mum knows her real Thai husband and would tell on her.

You are only number two (or three ........)

Option 2

Mum thinks white men are scum, and would disinherit daughter if she found out.

I really find it hard to believe her mother doesn't know the daughter is seeing a falang. Thai families have a spy network the CIA or KGB would be proud of.

[Rockhopper]

You better read:

Thailand Fever by Chris Pirazzi & Vitida Vasant

[AlQaholic]

All Thai girls whatever their age are virgins until they are married. Even if they happen to have a baby they are still virgins and the baby tucked away with some grandparents somewhere. Mother have seen how "falang" relationships work on TV, so cannot tell mama about the "falang" boyfriend.

[MaeJoMTB]

If your girlfriend is very young, never married or on a close relationship, and her family traditional Buddhist, she probably will keep the appearances, at least, until getting a serious marriage proposal.

I am married 4 years with a 46 years old divorced woman, very fit and beautiful, and she still reluctant in dress in a western fashion, in show intimacy with acts and words in public, and specially in front of her family...even sometimes.... in the privacy of our home.

If I criticized that, her response always is, " you are farang, and I am Thai ... and you didn't find me on the streets..."

Very bad.. because I am Italian, and women in Europe do not have problems in show her bodies on beaches. We are going to get a vacation in Samui soon for first time, and the only problem... if she wanted to be naked on the beach...it is me..I am a lot older, and fat. If not..will be OK with me.

Anyway..that never will happen. She is Thai....very Thai.

555 ........ she calls you 'farang' and you think you're in a relationship.....555

[fang37]

AlQaholic

Your member name is very creative!

[SOUTHERNSTAR]

If her mother is old school she won't allow you and her daughter to go out or travel alone. According to tradition there would have to be someone the mother can trust with her daughter all the time. If the mother is real old school and hi so she would choose her daughters husband, lets hope this is not the case. The daughter however seems less conservative than her mother and to avoid conflict she is not telling her mother about the two of you. To test is she is serious about your relationship I would give another 3 to 6 months chance and the ask her to invite her mother over to dinner at the in place, the more hi-so the better, in your area and see what happens. If she shy away from this your relationship won't go to marriage. If however she invites her mother you must be certain about the relationship because if you split up after meeting the mother she will loose face. Good luck.

[thaiduncankk]

"she probably makes 150,000$ a year and i am well well over that,"

I think you have your dollar sign and baht sign mixed up on your keyboard.

Either that, or she gets paid in Zimbabwean dollars.

Edited October 4, 2015 by thaiduncankk

[teacherpaul]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

The last sentence is total rubbish and best ignored.

In Thai culture, the girl wants to make sure that the guy is right for her before telling her parents. It makes sense. If she has one relationship break-up after another, she is going to look foolish in the eyes of her family.

[kungpao]

Same for myself. I didn't tell people about my relationship with Thai wife. Some people still don't know. I had a couple of marriages and didn't or don't want people including family to know until all is solid.

[spermwhale]

I would dump the bitch. It means she has someone else or she is too immature. In either case not worth it. I would be insulted if I were you.

[fang37]

Shopping for LOS ladies is similar to a candy shop.

Many products available to suit every taste.

Try before you buy.

Don't like it - spit it out.

[elgordo38]

Ah, personally I do not know what part of Thailand that you are living in, hey give us a clue..... So I guess 3 months is a long relationship... Have you met the father? If she says she is old school, then meet the father also. Remember do not let your little head do all the thinking.... And yes there are relationships, but then again there is trust.... Guess it just depends on where they are from... Sometimes mothers are the bargainers from my experience... And also do not know where you met her? More history would be helpful. One can never ask an open question, without a little reality!

Sorry just my thoughts....

I rather agree with the above statement. Your really dealing with a different culture here as many posters have stated. As soon as she reveals her relationship with you marriage is automatically assumed to be next SAP. Her parents being old school are automatically setting a price on their daughter i.e. amount of Sin Sod bahts of gold expected date of marriage, number of attendees (if a well to do family expect a lot) being set and all the details that go with that. If she has never married and has a good job and the family has some standing in the community expect a high Sin Sod. If your only into this relationship for 3 months wait awhile cement your relationship and say in another 6 months lay it all on the table and see what her expectations are. Be prepared for the unexpected also the fact that your a foreigner which previous posters have stated can be a bit of a hurdle here. Marriage etc. is a negotiation at best. I negotiated with my g/f when we decided to live together. She would like marriage but I am to old for that and have had a couple ex wives. We negotiated every detail and reached a satisfactory conclusion for both. Been together 4 years now. Remember no one is perfect. Good luck to you.

[elgordo38]

I would dump the bitch. It means she has someone else or she is too immature. In either case not worth it. I would be insulted if I were you.

Ignore this guy. His immaturity is showing. Shoots from the hip while his brain is disengaged. His advice is the worst you will get. Move slowly she sounds worth it. Building a good relationship is a slow process but it does not take much knock it down.

Edited October 4, 2015 by elgordo38

[spermwhale]

It shows you that Thais have no qualms about lying and you should get used to your GF or Thai wife keeping many secrets from you. They do not think twice about lying but expect you not to lie to them.

If you are comfortable being in a relationship where your partner is too ashamed to bring you around her friends and family then go for it.

But she is lying to her family. So you better know that means she also lies to you all the time.

[spermwhale]

I would dump the bitch. It means she has someone else or she is too immature. In either case not worth it. I would be insulted if I were you.

Ignore this guy. His immaturity is showing. Shoots from the hip while his brain is disengaged. His advice is the worst you will get. Move slowly she sounds worth it. Building a good relationship is a slow process but it does not take much knock it down.

I have dated plenty of Thai women and I know the drill. My brain is fully engaged and I speak the truth and from experience. If someone wants to lie to their parents, you know she will lie to you too.

The bottom line for the OP is that if he has getting a vibe he doesn't like he should do a gut check and act on how he feels. The gut never lies.

[spermwhale]

Ah, personally I do not know what part of Thailand that you are living in, hey give us a clue..... So I guess 3 months is a long relationship... Have you met the father? If she says she is old school, then meet the father also. Remember do not let your little head do all the thinking.... And yes there are relationships, but then again there is trust.... Guess it just depends on where they are from... Sometimes mothers are the bargainers from my experience... And also do not know where you met her? More history would be helpful. One can never ask an open question, without a little reality!

Sorry just my thoughts....

I rather agree with the above statement. Your really dealing with a different culture here as many posters have stated. As soon as she reveals her relationship with you marriage is automatically assumed to be next SAP. Her parents being old school are automatically setting a price on their daughter i.e. amount of Sin Sod bahts of gold expected date of marriage, number of attendees (if a well to do family expect a lot) being set and all the details that go with that. If she has never married and has a good job and the family has some standing in the community expect a high Sin Sod. If your only into this relationship for 3 months wait awhile cement your relationship and say in another 6 months lay it all on the table and see what her expectations are. Be prepared for the unexpected also the fact that your a foreigner which previous posters have stated can be a bit of a hurdle here. Marriage etc. is a negotiation at best. I negotiated with my g/f when we decided to live together. She would like marriage but I am to old for that and have had a couple ex wives. We negotiated every detail and reached a satisfactory conclusion for both. Been together 4 years now. Remember no one is perfect. Good luck to you.

Speaking from experience: this is not the case. I've met the parents of many girls where marriage was not on the table. You must be speaking from experience dating low class girls from poor families. This doesn't apply in he OPs case since he said his girl has a good job.

[kiwikeith]

Maybe she is married, and you are being set up to pay a lot of money to Mummy bear to marry her (Thai old style) after you give her lots of gold and money she may dissapear.

Then again maybe genuine, however be aware as most get caught in some way.

Give it plenty of time is the best and never think you can't get caught.

[Stevemercer]

This is pretty normal. She won't tell her parents unless she is 100% certain you will marry. Her Mum wouldn't understand her having 'boyfriends'. If she ever takes you to meet her parents then she is very serious and wants to marry you (and presumably vice versa). She is doing you a favour by keeping the pressure off and giving the relationship time.

My wife's Thai son (aged 28) was going out with a Thai girl who had a similar mother. The Thai girl never told her Mum she was in a committed relationship for 2 years. It was only when her Mum's sister read that she was 'in a relationship' on her Facebook page that it all came out. Her Mum was really shocked, said that she had lost face with her friends and that they had to marry immediately.