Relationships in thailand

[nithisa78]

My first thought was boy toy. Also what the chicken man said. Then boring.

[louse1953]

Think you have issues about being black there.

Don't be stupid.Thai's are racist towards everybody at 1st sight especially if your skin is darker than theirs.Once they get to know you its ok,but you need a thick skin at the start.

[BusyB]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

This is pretty much the truth.

But, her two best friends know about me and think highly of me, and she said that is what matters most.

The above comment speaks volumes. The OP is being lied to.

On the basis that when a Thai woman takes you home to meet the family it's effectively lining you up for marriage, doing exactly the opposite would in my mind suggest exactly the opposite - regardless of what else is going on.

[TuskegeeBen]

Think you have issues about being black there.

Don't be stupid.Thai's are racist towards everybody at 1st sight especially if your skin is darker than theirs.Once they get to know you its ok,but you need a thick skin at the start.

Thanks for stepping up to the plate, louse1953. I salute you, sir. Obviously, bermondburi has learned English as a second language. His reading comprehension ability needs an upgrade level of achievement. Cheers!

Edited October 4, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[Fabricus]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

This is pretty much the truth.

But, her two best friends know about me and think highly of me, and she said that is what matters most.

The above comment speaks volumes. The OP is being lied to.

On the basis that when a Thai woman takes you home to meet the family it's effectively lining you up for marriage, doing exactly the opposite would in my mind suggest exactly the opposite - regardless of what else is going on.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, but what stands out is this comment:

"her two best friends know about me and think highly of me, and she said that is what matters most"

This is a straight lie, and anyone who's been here more than 5 minutes ought to be able to see it as such.

Edited October 4, 2015 by Fabricus

[gamini]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

I was in the same position quite a long time ago and I wanted to meet my girlfriend's family. But she always made excuses She had lots of money and drove me around in her Mercedes and often paid the bill. She was a very beautiful girl and I really liked her. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that she was the mistress of a very wealthy cabinet minister. I did not take her abroad but we used to travel a lot together in Thailand. This same Minister was charged with corruption and fled abroad. When this happened my so-called girlfriend tearfully told me this told me the whole story. She expected me to forgive her.

I am telling you this because you never know in Thailand. Frankly I have never found that most Thais have objection to their children marrying foreigners provided they are reasonably well off and decent people, which you appear to be. So my advice is be aware and careful

[koolkarl]

Most Thais think that if a Thai girl goes with a foreigner, she is a whore. Most Asian countries are extremely

xenophobic and Thailand is no exception. If I were you, I certainly wouldn't be so starry eyed and become realistic. If she won't tell her mother,

then what do you have?

You sound young and have a lot to learn. Stay single, have fun.

[khunPer]

A very good beginning to understand Thai culture and your relationship with a Thai, is to read the book "Thailand Fever" by Chris Pirazzi & Vitada Vasant (thailandfever.com) - probably both of you, as that book is written both in English and Thai, and also shed lights about understanding farang-way-of-thinking...

[TuskegeeBen]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

This is pretty much the truth.

But, her two best friends know about me and think highly of me, and she said that is what matters most.

The above comment speaks volumes. The OP is being lied to.

On the basis that when a Thai woman takes you home to meet the family it's effectively lining you up for marriage, doing exactly the opposite would in my mind suggest exactly the opposite - regardless of what else is going on.

Excellent analogy.

[Fabricus]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

I was in the same position quite a long time ago and I wanted to meet my girlfriend's family. But she always made excuses She had lots of money and drove me around in her Mercedes and often paid the bill. She was a very beautiful girl and I really liked her. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that she was the mistress of a very wealthy cabinet minister. I did not take her abroad but we used to travel a lot together in Thailand. This same Minister was charged with corruption and fled abroad. When this happened my so-called girlfriend tearfully told me this told me the whole story. She expected me to forgive her.

I am telling you this because you never know in Thailand. Frankly I have never found that most Thais have objection to their children marrying foreigners provided they are reasonably well off and decent people, which you appear to be. So my advice is be aware and careful

That's a seriously weird story. I encountered something similar in the past.

I won't go into detail; all I'll say is that I often think about her (she was from NST) and wonder who she really was. She was 37 years old.

She wasn't a politician's mia noi, but she certainly had a number of wealthy men on the go.

I called her lots of times when I worked out the truth -- but she simply put the phone down.

[TuskegeeBen]

Just from reading your OP and other responses, you tend to come across as a real hombre, riding on an "inherited" high-horse. Your lady-friend may like you, for herself, in the right-now, but also knows there is something in your manner that will definitely not set-well, with her family, for the future. She will definitely not put herself in position of losing face, with her family.

Edited October 4, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[silent]

On top of other suggestions, you also have to realize that accepted by her friends is one thing, but parents are entirely different matters. From that perspective, whether earned or not you have to face the fact that lasting impressions have been made many foreigners in this country, here today gone tomorrow for whatever reasons.

So being a worthwhile lady, until she's 200 % sure that she won't be made a fool of, don't piss in the wind and destroy what you've got from worrying too much about things you can't change that only time will tell. At the same don't invest everything you have in it, at least until you've made that 200% and she's confessed.

Edited October 4, 2015 by silent

[georgemandm]

Something you are not being told .

How long you been in thailand how old are you and how old is she

[TuskegeeBen]

On top of other suggestions, you also have to realize that accepted by her friends is one thing, but parents are entirely different matters. From that perspective, whether earned or not you have to face the fact that lasting impressions have been made many foreigners in this country, here today gone tomorrow for whatever reasons.

So being a worthwhile lady, until she's 200 % sure that she won't be made a fool of, don't piss in the wind and destroy what you've got from worrying too much about things you can't change that only time will tell. At the same don't invest everything you have in it, at least until you've made that 200% and she's confessed.

[VIPinthailand]

we are extremely attracted to eachover....

ahahaha!

[Shaunduhpostman]

It would not be surprising if she was just protecting you and herself from her mom and the rest of the family, so that you two remain free from the meddling and demands that might be put on you and her from her family once they found out you two were involved. Of course, I don't know, but many Thai families feel entitled to as big a slice of your relationship as either of you have, so that wouldn't surprise me if that is what is going on.

[1BADDAT]

Her mother would not approve of you no matter how much money you make. I was see a girl who said her mother would not approve of me because I was not Chinesse and Thai go figure

from what i gathered thus far this is the answer.

fellas, she had a boyfriend for two 1/2 years and never told her family. go figure right

not being lied to , but hell, its just a girlfriend right :shrug:

mother doesnt speak a lick of english as well, so communication would be a no - go

. Mother doesn't speak a word of English but daughter is extremely well off? Something doesn't add up.

[smotherb]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

I don't think so. The mother probably wants her daughter to marry some nice Thai guy.

Many Thais see farangs as exploiting their women--even though I see it more often the other way around. Some more traditional Thai families want no part of a farang in their families, especially in a relationship with their daughters--its demeaning to their daughter's reputation and devalues their social status.

The Thai families who "welcome" the farang are likely to be more Westernized and open--possibly having business or education ties to the West. Or, they are poor and looking for a buffalo to be a sugar-daddy-key to gain access to the fountain of wealth.

[smotherb]

Her mother would not approve of you no matter how much money you make. I was see a girl who said her mother would not approve of me because I was not Chinesse and Thai go figure

from what i gathered thus far this is the answer.

fellas, she had a boyfriend for two 1/2 years and never told her family. go figure right

not being lied to , but hell, its just a girlfriend right :shrug:

mother doesnt speak a lick of english as well, so communication would be a no - go

. Mother doesn't speak a word of English but daughter is extremely well off? Something doesn't add up.

Maybe it's your math. Why do you think the mother of an extremely well-off daughter has to speak English?

[jomcondo]

sounds like a dream not having to look at the Mother

[Laza 45]

..I think it is really quite simple... if she tells he mom.. her mom will expect her to marry you..

[NormanW]

Anyone who has been in a relationship with a Thai over a year deserve a medal.

Been trying for over 20 years. Still can't get past the culture differences.

Good luck with your situation.

[Gillyflower]

I can't understand why the Op is so worried about it. When in his own country did he tell his parents about his girlfriends? Or did they tell their parents about him? My mother sometimes knew a name and that was all. My husband told me that his daughter (in Canada) never brought any of her boys home and they only knew of them rather vaguely. Why should it be any different in Thailand!

[gemguy]

In Thailand, a treasured daughter ending up with a foreigner rather than a nice Thai man is still regarded as a stigma while you will always remain an enigma......... for most Thai people.

As long as you have lots of money to lavish on her daughter then the mother will eventually, but reluctantly, tolerate you because the Mother will come to realize you have an obvious usefulness.....lol

Cheers

Edited October 4, 2015 by gemguy

[timendres]

If she(the mother) is "old school", then she (the daughter) may well be already "spoken for" and her parents have arranged for her to be with someone else, it is a possibility. She doesnt want her knowing she is with you and the fruit from the tree has been spoiled, and that her parents would then lose face to the other family, especially if they are "hi-so" or think they are.

Just an option to consider.

Pretty true.

But another option is she wants to test you if you are sincere and if she introduces you to her family/ mother a new dimension begins....hope it works well

And, quite likely, her mom did not like the fact that she had the first Farang bf. Her mom told her she did not like the idea, but your gf proceeded anyway hoping to prove her mom's doubts were an overreaction. When that relationship failed, her mom likely uttered สมนำ้หน้า, making your gf very shy about announcing another Farang relationship. If true, she will be very secretive about the relationship until she feels more confident it will last.

[1BADDAT]

Her mother would not approve of you no matter how much money you make. I was see a girl who said her mother would not approve of me because I was not Chinesse and Thai go figure

from what i gathered thus far this is the answer.

fellas, she had a boyfriend for two 1/2 years and never told her family. go figure right

not being lied to , but hell, its just a girlfriend right :shrug:

mother doesnt speak a lick of english as well, so communication would be a no - go

. Mother doesn't speak a word of English but daughter is extremely well off? Something doesn't add up.

Maybe it's your math. Why do you think the mother of an extremely well-off daughter has to speak English?

Because extremely well off people generally speak several languages, including English. That is the norm.

[ggt]

Why are you paranoid about the Mother?

I think the girl knows the Mom would not approve...and if she told her...then she would have to listen to Mom bitching every time she spoke to her from then on...not to mention the Mom voicing her disappointment in her daughter to friends, family, and anyone else who would listen...

Why can't you just enjoy the moment...do not create unnecessary stress and drama which could end the good thing you have going for you...

Live in the moment...quit worrying about the girls Mom...she will take care of that issue in due time...if she wants to...

[Mudcrab]

Because extremely well off people generally speak several languages, including English. That is the norm.

Absolute rubbish.

[fang37]

Of course there are some disasters.

I am a lucky guy.

(I am not lucky at all things all the time).

We have a superb relationship.

How do I know?

(a) never had a separation

( I hear her singing romantic songs often (Thai & English).

[thaiduncankk]

I can only speak for myself.

My MiL knew about my wife's relationship with me even before I did.

If she is keeping secrets from her mother, something is amiss.

weird. what could possibly be the big secret ?

maybe her past relationship that lasted two years with another falang went wrong somewhere ?

she is embarrassed to tell mom that she is in relationship with falang?

she probably makes 150,000$ a year and i am well well over that, so i don't know what the issue is as it has nothing to do with money

its very puzzling for me, and i let go about the issue, because she isn't going anywhere, and neither am i.

but seriously strange

if any others have opinions please shed light thanks

150,000$ a year is 400,000 baht a month !

Is she Royalty perhaps ?