How much is enough?

[Liquorice]

Now the problem.... I only have 104,000+ BT income per month. That is nearly four times what she has been getting by on.... not thriving, but getting by.

Jeez, I know a lot of expats, but very few would have that sort of monthly income.......live within your means, not hers.

[zaZa9]

I too have no idea why a man who has to ask if 100 odd thousand baht a month is enough to live on ( so not sure himself ) would want to buy his girlfriends DAUGHTER a home ...

Last I looked Thai daughters took care of their Mums and even made Mummas house payments for her - how did this daughter manage to reverse Thai cultural mores to suit herself ?

I suggest you follow what others have said - rent a house wherever you like for a while and see how things go .

On over 100k a month you can rent a good one and let the daughter live there too and have her money to save for her OWN deposit - just as you'd probably do back home with your own daughter.

You also have probably learned by now that kids rarely appreciate what is given them on a plate....

Keep hold of your money - you dont know if tomorrow the baht will rise strongly , or if your own investments back home will go to pack ..

Let me tell you that a man having no money ANYWHERE in the world will mean he will be having strained relations with his female partner!

[likeke]

If the relationship ends, then you will lose the house and probably more. Your salary is sufficient, I know because I earn the same as you and I live very well here in Bangkok, but I am single, and have a good slush fund. I am vigilant about thai women trying to squeeze money out of me, and as a result I have terminated a fair share of these relationships. Your story is a cliche, thai lady wants falang BF to buy house, ad nauseum. I have had two former thai GFs tell me this, and once they do, I am out of there. I know who I am, and will not ever marry a thai woman, and I don't take any of them seriously.

Accordingly, In my humble opinion, don't buy a house, ever ever ever. End of story. Renting is your lifesaver. Don't invest a lot financially with this lady or her daughter. Especially the daughter. How many stories have you heard about the falang buying a house for the thai GF and once the house is built, the entire extended family tell him now to leave, you are no longer needed. Hit the road.

However, I sense you are in too deep just by virtue of your close relationship with your GFs daughter. You broke my #1 rule: Do not take these ladies seriously, or get emotionally involved. I am 66 years old who enjoys being single, free and very happy. If I want a women, I walk out my apartment and within a few meters, I can get anything I want for a one-time fee. I would not invest one single baht in this country. I travel the world and enjoy the freedom. You my friend are doomed. I wish you well. Chok dee Khrap.

[Alration]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

Thanks for confirming that your question was irrelevant to the OP's enquiry. I'm pretty sure he wasn't asking for relationship advice from you or anyone else.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Alration

[12DrinkMore]

One other point I did not stress.

If the GF stops working then the PLUS 25k income stream will suddenly turn into a MINUS 25k monthly expense.

AND id you are used to being by yourself during the day, suddenly having a bored Thai woman hanging around the place with her wants and desires (which do not include endless sex, possibly not even the occasional romp) is an utter pain in the rear. It will be TV all day and you will be expected to provide the entertainment plan and funding.

If they have a job, make them keep it.

If they do not have a job, make them find one.

It is the only way to preserve your sanity.

Being around the OP's age, I personally do NOT want restrictions and commitments added to my life.

Be free, enjoy, if the next decade goes as quickly as the last, then I do not want to spend time and money funding someone else's existence.

[jacko45k]

Am I nuts, or are Thais just not really good with maths?

a= your age

b= her age

c= your weight

d= her weight

success < (a-(b*2)+c-(d*3))

Since it appears to involve the square and cube of relatively big numbers I get a very negative result!

[Blackheart1916]

PS2 my score is -86, is that good?

[tonray]

The typical working Thai girl lives in a $4000 baht (or less) apartment studio. You can help her afford a $6000 baht upgrade by chipping in another $2000 baht. Problem solved...everybody happy !

I know you don't want to hear any of this but don't be a sucker. Maybe your GF is 'different' and maybe her daughter is 'different' than the rest BUT...my guess is once your GF found out you make in excess of 100K baht per month...she suddently finds her job very demanding.....think about it man....nothing wrong with having a good relationship and life here but giving money away should not be a necessary part of doing that.

Edited October 8, 2015 by tonray

[likeke]

I actually think the OP was asking for relationship help indirectly. His relationship with his GFs daughter is dysfuctional and will cost $$$$$$. Both are taking financial advantage of the OP. That's the nicest way to say.

[dotpoom]

Not sure after reading your post and the end line "Am I nuts, or are Thais just not really good with maths?" what it is your in difficulty about?

If you can afford to do whatever it is, do it....if not, don't do it.

[VIPinthailand]

you make good money?

tell your girlfriend to contact me immediately... I have business for her.

Edited October 8, 2015 by VIPinthailand

[Cypress Hill]

What did I post yesterday!

Moves in, then can't or won't work.

Yep. You were absolutely spot on, MaeJo.

[Rykbanlor]

And the OP hasn't returned to read the advice he asked for?

[Cypress Hill]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

Thanks for confirming that your question was irrelevant to the OP's enquiry. I'm pretty sure he wasn't asking for relationship advice from you or anyone else.

The question was perfectly relevant; you're just too daft to see why.

Frankly, I can't be bothered to explain it to you.

Maybe someone else can

[Rykbanlor]

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

Thanks for confirming that your question was irrelevant to the OP's enquiry. I'm pretty sure he wasn't asking for relationship advice from you or anyone else.

The question was perfectly relevant; you're just too daft to see why.

Frankly, I can't be bothered to explain it to you.

Maybe someone else can

Perhaps there is a correlation between how genuine the relationship is and the age gap between the couple. Teeny tiny ( ) possibility that if the OP is considerably older than the lady friend that she is pursuing his finances rather than his adonis-like body and Brad Pitt chin.

Hence this could be a significant detail when advising him what to do in this situation.

[Nemesis7]

There Re many condo for as little as 700k onwards , if you want yo but ur step daughter buy something to get by and Dave some mo ey for the rainy days, truly you never know what you may face in the long run here in Thailand

[fred Kubasa]

I am certain, after the family indebtedness has been retired in 10 months,

that 70,000 B with no rent, no real continuing debt, will allow an upper

class lifestyle. Just keep a tight lid on the " I need chest " !

[vogie]

Only 104.000+, so don't complain while living in Thailand. No need for the word ONLY!

Otherwise, it is your money, you might bite the dust, might not, just don't spend more than you can loose and don't make babies, because you might have to run away.

Yeah, wish I had 'only' 104,000+ a month.

[mihalis]

You only have to understand the 'game' that Thais play.

1. Come up with any plausible explanation that the 'stupid Falang' will believe is genuine.

2. Milk the falang for all you can.

3. When falang bank account empty - discard falang.

Ask yourself one question. Would she be proposing this same scenario to a Thai man?

Another burnt farang, funny shit.. A gold digger is a gold digger, not matter what nationality !!

[mihalis]

If you have doubts, and seems you do, asking advice on this forum full of burnt foreigners...... Have an escape plan, go see a lawyer...

[Soutpeel]

If you have doubts, and seems you do, asking advice on this forum full of burnt foreigners...... Have an escape plan, go see a lawyer...

And what exactly will the lawyer do ?

[MaeJoMTB]

If you have doubts, and seems you do, asking advice on this forum full of burnt foreigners...... Have an escape plan, go see a lawyer...

And what exactly will the lawyer do ?

From what I've seen,

Usually the foreigners lawyer conspires with the Thai wife to do him over ...... in some way.

[Shiver]

Although you have enough to take care of yourself comfortably on a monthly basis, my feeling is that you will be putting too much load on your income, and it didn't specify any layaway amounts for the unexpected.

I only rent a modest place and have a plan where I can have my life in a backpack and be at the airport in 1 hour if needed. I know this is not your preference and are looking to putting down roots, but to qualify my reasoning with numbers, my rent is 3.33% of my income. Add on utilities and what you want to spend money on for the month (restaurant, beer, and other free will choices rather than fixed outgoings), and it's still a minor amount of the gross.

I would suggest renting a humble place and saving up, then in a couple of years if you still feel the same way, you will have some financial backup to do a purchase deal more on your own terms rather than giving way to what others want from you who are not contributing. If your lady continues to work for those two years and saves it all (assuming that you're covering her in the meantime), then you could get to the point where you may not even need a mortgage at all, or at least only a minor one that can be cleared in short order. I think everyone involved needs to feel some of the ache of effort rather than you carrying all three of you.

[bil2054]

Thanks all who understood the question. I will readily admit to a lack of communications clarity.

I think that 1,200,000 BT/annum should be plenty, as it is more than many Thai doctors or airline pilots make, from what I have read. The lady keeps telling me I do not understand how expensive it is to live in Thailand. I DO understand from the past sixty years how expensive it is to live in the US. I was looking for the experience of folks who have lived here and know what the cost of living for sober (mostly) responsible (somewhat) people is like.

Several folks figured out that a woman with a grown daughter is not herself a youngster. Yes, I am older... 61 vs 48... not the most extreme case of cradle robbing. Any younger and I doubt we could communicate on any level other than ATM.

Please excuse me, those who have indicated impatience with my response time. I did not hang drooling over the keyboard awaiting your sage advice, luckily, as none was forth coming; merely commentary on my dilatory response time.

Thanks to those who understood that my question pertained, as might be ascertained from the title, to whether a couple could reasonably expect to live alright on 100,000+ BT/month. The daughter, who I view somewhat as mine own as I have none else, is a graduate of the Thai Naval Nursing college, and makes a pretty good income for a young woman here. The idea is to give her a good start in life. What a good "dad" would want, I have heard. After we retire to the north she would be responsible for taking up the mortgage payments, perhaps with the help of the rather nice young man she "keeps company" with.

All in all it sounds like we could do well enough. I think we could even manage the occasional vacation trip. I just need to find out what the real hold-up is as it seems someone of her age and education level, basically none, is not going to attract a "real" farang millionaire, not just a baht millionaire, and no Thai guy apparently would want such an "old lady".

I will be requiring certain conditions, and they will be formalized in a pre-nup. Again, thanks for the good advice from those who had some, and I hope those who were looking for amusement were gratified.

I do hold this gal in high regard, but I will nor be played for a fool, either. I have turned aside a number of proposals already, and am not sufficiently misguided to think it is because of my svelte physique.

[bil2054]

Please forgive me for the shameless segue... math vs. maths

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbZCECvoaTA

"Maths" to most commonwealth citizens. As me mum was from The Midlands, and who d'ya suppose taught me to speak, read and write, then "maths" it often though not invariably remains.

[MaeJoMTB]

Thanks all who understood the question. I will readily admit to a lack of communications clarity.

I think that 1,200,000 BT/annum should be plenty, as it is more than many Thai doctors or airline pilots make, from what I have read. The lady keeps telling me I do not understand how expensive it is to live in Thailand. I DO understand from the past sixty years how expensive it is to live in the US. I was looking for the experience of folks who have lived here and know what the cost of living for sober (mostly) responsible (somewhat) people is like.

Well that's easy, I'm in Chiang Mai already, same age as you (much younger wife at University), two children, and we live very comfortably on 40-45kbht a month. That includes the home loan repayments of 11kbht/month.

As you aren't planning to live in BK, wait until you get to CM to buy.

In fact, while she's still earning, buy in CM using a home loan backed by her existing wages.

Then she needs you ...... rather than you needing her.

[Shiver]

Please forgive me for the shameless segue... math vs. maths

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbZCECvoaTA

"Maths" to most commonwealth citizens. As me mum was from The Midlands, and who d'ya suppose taught me to speak, read and write, then "maths" it often though not invariably remains.

Although the video takes away the validity of it having to be a plural in terms of word structure consistency (lack of) in English, to my mind, there is no singular in any mathematics equation. Even 1+1=2 has multiple components, and should therefore be plural.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Shiver

[GOLDBUGGY]

I know you are trying to look good to your GF...but buying her daughter a house is not smart, With 100K + income every month you can live better than 95% of all Thais and Farangs in Thailand. Rent a nice place....give your step-daughter a nice suite and enjoy life whilst banking a bit every month for later in life. In Thailand never a good idea to pour out loads of cash on purchases that can be legally taken away in minutes leaving you with nothing.

If your Gf and Daughter want a house, make them keep working and pay off the mortgage, you can pay equivalent rent, ie what you would have paid on your own for rental of similart arrangment to help them while you live there. if the living arrangment chages someday (you are out) they will bear responsibility for the mortgage and not you.

I agree with you 100%. Have the GF work until the mortgage is paid off totally. If they move to CM is a few years they might also need her income to buy another property and mortgage it.

At any rate when the 26,000 Baht a month mortgage is paid off, and your GF Retires, her 26,000 Baht a month salary won't be missed as much. If she works and pays off the mortgage for her daughter then up-to-her.

But perhaps the OP locks himself into any financial commitment he should seriously look at his future plans with his GF. As her Boy Friend he has no financial protect whatsoever on any property in his GF Name.

Don't spread your money and income too thin.Remember these famous words: "When Wolf come to door, love fly out window".

[kerrysum]

So why are you buying her daughter a house?

[VIPinthailand]

eat as much you can until your stomach explodes and you will know how much you can spend.