How much is enough?

[thaiduncankk]

So why are you buying her daughter a house?

I know the OP 'treats his g/f's daughter like his own', fair play to him.

The truth of the matter is that she is not his by blood.

If things ,at anytime, do not go as planned, she will side with her mother and you will never have

any communication with her again.

As she has good chances of getting a well paid job in the future, let her go into the real world

herself (with this bloke she is fond of), and get a mortgage herself. That way you can give a little

help now and then when necessary.

If she does get a house bought for her, she will show initial appreciation, but at the same time, deep

down, I am not so sure it is a good idea personally.

[nontabury]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

So why not tell us how old you are, and how old your G/f or B/f is and there nationality.

[smotherb]

thai question How much you give?

reply to your answer " not enough"

easier to say "not enough" when they ask how much you give

I find it's much better to say, "just as much." As in, I will give your family just as much as they give my family. You'd be surprised how that cuts to the chase.

[smotherb]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

What did I post yesterday!

Moves in, then can't or won't work.

This one appears to have a grown up daughter, so I assume over 40....... what are these guys thinking?

@OP

If you gotta pay, buy yourself a young one.

Loads of 30 year olds will settle for this kind of money.

@CH

OP appears to be 62 from his nick.

Why a 30 year old? The possibility of too much baggage and too much game time exists. Why not a 20 year old? Less baggage, less game time, and still has the new car smell.

[MaeJoMTB]

Why a 30 year old? The possibility of too much baggage and too much game time exists. Why not a 20 year old? Less baggage, less game time, and still has the new car smell.

Below 30, too flighty, too many options, too much booze and drugs.

After 30, a little more desperate and willing to compromise, still attractive, still fertile.

Over 40, too close to menopause, I'm not having that nonsense happen around me a second time.

Over 50, too tired, saggy and wrinkly, that would be like sleeping with me ....... yeck!

Just my personal opinion,

I found the under 30s great for an hour or two, but do my head in if they hang around too long.

But I am 60, maybe your endurance is greater than mine.

Edited October 8, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[nithisa78]

Get married and live much less Temporal life.

[Cypress Hill]

How old is the OP?

How old is the OP's girlfriend?

What does it matter?

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

So why not tell us how old you are, and how old your G/f or B/f is and there nationality.

Another one with his nose put out of joint

[ozyjon]

You are in Thailand, South East Asia.

Western values don't exist here, your

thinking is at odds with the culture, if

she is not anything resembling a movie

star then

[thaiduncankk]

You are in Thailand, South East Asia.

Western values don't exist here, your

thinking is at odds with the culture, if

she is not anything resembling a movie

star then

So if you both decide to move, say to the UK, do you really think she will drop her Thai values ?

Location plays a small part.

Imagine telling her over there 'you are in Europe, your Thai values don't exist here'.

I am sure she will understand and forget all about here extended family over here ?

[Alration]

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

Thanks for confirming that your question was irrelevant to the OP's enquiry. I'm pretty sure he wasn't asking for relationship advice from you or anyone else.

The question was perfectly relevant; you're just too daft to see why.

Frankly, I can't be bothered to explain it to you.

Maybe someone else can

Bearing in mind that the OP has confirmed that he was asking about financial considerations alone, not relationship advice, it does seem that you're the daft one and that the question you asked was indeed irrelevant and prying.

[Alration]

Don't be so bloody naive.

Obviously, until the OP answers, it's pointless speculating but suffice it to say that your average young Thai bird doesn't grow up fantasising about marrying and shagging a fat old boiler.

Even if there isn't a big age gap, it still sounds as if he's being lined up to leave an entire house to his girlfriend's daughter.

They probably can't believe their luck.

So why not tell us how old you are, and how old your G/f or B/f is and there nationality.

Another one with his nose put out of joint

You don't understand what that means, do you? Is your nose hurting?

[Bangel72]

Yes you are nuts and rather than generalizing I'd go with mathematics, accountancy and money management in general are very poorly taught in Thailand.

Degree's in hustling perhaps though are more common.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Bangel72

[smotherb]

Why a 30 year old? The possibility of too much baggage and too much game time exists. Why not a 20 year old? Less baggage, less game time, and still has the new car smell.

Below 30, too flighty, too many options, too much booze and drugs.

After 30, a little more desperate and willing to compromise, still attractive, still fertile.

Over 40, too close to menopause, I'm not having that nonsense happen around me a second time.

Over 50, too tired, saggy and wrinkly, that would be like sleeping with me ....... yeck!

Just my personal opinion,

I found the under 30s great for an hour or two, but do my head in if they hang around too long.

But I am 60, maybe your endurance is greater than mine.

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

[MaeJoMTB]

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker).

(that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)

There must be many good girls around, all the Thai Visa posters (except me) seem to have found one.

I must be meeting the wrong sort of white guys.

Edited October 9, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Cypress Hill]

Bearing in mind that the OP has confirmed that he was asking about financial considerations alone, not relationship advice, it does seem that you're the daft one and that the question you asked was indeed irrelevant and prying.

But he didn't confirm as such before I'd posted my response. In any case, the OP later confirmed that he didn't make himself clear. My post accounted for that possibility.

You don't understand what that means, do you? Is your nose hurting?

I know precisely what it means.

TV posters who take umbrage at comments/questions about large age gaps in relationships tend to be in one themselves and, often, quite self-conscious about it.

I'll leave you to piece together how my use of the phrase relates to that . . . but I'll not hold my breath

[Straight8]

So why are you buying her daughter a house?

She told him.. no money no honey. Why else?

Why do farangs come here and buy houses,cars and all else?? It aint rocket science.

Yes OP, you are nuts, in fact are level or two above!!

[smotherb]

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker).

(that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)

There must be many good girls around, all the Thai Visa posters (except me) seem to have found one.

I must be meeting the wrong sort of white guys.

Yes, perhaps you should get out more. I know several farangs, including my son, who are married to Thai girls whose virtue is not and was not negotiable. Do you really think all farang-Thai marriages involve a Thai sex worker--past or current?

[MaeJoMTB]

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker).

(that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)

There must be many good girls around, all the Thai Visa posters (except me) seem to have found one.

I must be meeting the wrong sort of white guys.

Yes, perhaps you should get out more. I know several farangs, including my son, who are married to Thai girls whose virtue is not and was not negotiable. Do you really think all farang-Thai marriages involve a Thai sex worker--past or current?

I haven't met all 'farang-Thai' couples, so can't and haven't posted on the subject.

Not to mention, I'm 60 and don't really mix with foreigners younger than 50, just Thais.

So you don't have a Thai wife, and your son isn't a Thai citizen?

But you're still a racist and call other white people 'farang' including your own son? Unbelievable!

Why are you even posting on this thread?

You have no experience, and nothing to contribute ..... you probably don't even speak Thai.

Edited October 9, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Shiver]

[snip}

... Don't spread your money and income too thin.Remember these famous words: "When Wolf come to door, love fly out window".

I clicked 'Like' on this as it resonated with me. I was having a think about it last night and remembered when I had my first job. After 3 months I got called into the office and my then boss offered me a very substantial pay rise (in percentage terms), from GBP 27.30 per week, to GBP 49.00 per week, LOL ("that was a lot of money in those days").

What he also did was give me a warning. He said "I've learned that financial incentives only seem to last for about 2 weeks, so don't get lazy about it" - or words very similar to that.

I've found that to be true and still believe that was useful advice. Two Thais I've employed (not only Thais - same in my home country too), I've given them more money because I thought they went above and beyond in their efforts, only to find is that the extra cash quickly gets absorbed by things that are suddenly essential (like a loan for a new car), while at the same time getting lax in their job since in their mind they've proven themselves and no longer need to fulfill basic tasks, and therefore become non performing so I've had to "let them go", and then they're in deep financial do do (because they're now living with items paid by unearned future income).

The "treat 'em mean" thing sadly does seem to have some validity. There are exceptions of course, and I know of a couple of Thais who can make money go a long long way (I wonder if it is those that have known hardship, and incidentally they also seem to be much more team focussed, and giving in general, like those videos you can find on youtube with someone gifting a homeless person and they share it around with other homeless people, while men in suits walking by won't even make eye contact).

I've seen it too over here, and back home where a couple have a kid, and when the money runs out, the foreigner is deprived of seeing the kid unless he finds a way to provide money. That is despicable to me, but I've watched it happen. That's when it's the guys own kid. I fear the idea of a relationship where there is an existing child who isn't your own blood, and you learn to love them as your own, then someone pulls a stunt like that. I'm not saying it's always that way, but something to be mindful of.

If you do a simple spreadsheet with known income and expenditure, and see what the delta is between those, and if you're comfortable that the difference will handle any eventualities you can conceive of (Scenario Planning), then you will have a feel for what you're taking on and make a measured decision. Hopefully it would be one that your income is always in advance of your debts, and not like most people with access to loans do.

Edited October 9, 2015 by Shiver

[MaeJoMTB]

If you do a simple spreadsheet with known income and expenditure, and see what the delta is between those, and if you're comfortable that the difference will handle any eventualities you can conceive of (Scenario Planning), then you will have a feel for what you're taking on and make a measured decision. Hopefully it would be one that your income is always in advance of your debts, and not like most people with access to loans do.

I don't need a spreadsheet to tell me not to give all my money away.

[thaiduncankk]

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker).

(that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)

There must be many good girls around, all the Thai Visa posters (except me) seem to have found one.

I must be meeting the wrong sort of white guys.

Yes, perhaps you should get out more. I know several farangs, including my son, who are married to Thai girls whose virtue is not and was not negotiable. Do you really think all farang-Thai marriages involve a Thai sex worker--past or current?

Most, yes

[thaiduncankk]

This topic is getting boring, Thai bird, Pattaya, cashier, prostitute, end of.

[Walter Travolta]

Someone mentioned pre-nup earlier . . .

Is there such a thing in LOS and does it have any substance?

[JAFO]

I Love these threads. I do...I really do.

I mean come on. Even if you are green first timer to Thailand and spent even 10 minutes searching "Thai living" or "Thai Dating" you will be linked to numerous forums where you can acquire enough information to see if you are being scammed or whether or not the individual has Rose Colored Glasses on". Maybe that's it, A section entitled "Rose Colored Glasses"

It could have a questionnaire in it. At the end it will quickly give you a reasonable assumption of whether or not you are going to be yet another foreigner statistic.

[JAFO]

This topic is getting boring, Thai bird, Pattaya, cashier, prostitute, end of.

Noooo Nooo...Let it go. These are great.

[KonaRain]

OP may have seen some of these answers..

Cannot respond due to...blood pressure, anger..TRUTH?

'It could've been me' -Sting

(I don't have such money)

Alohz

[kkup]

I think if you're asking this question you know the answer..

[smotherb]

Again, it appears you are talking about getting your girls out of bars. I would do my shopping elsewhere for a worthwhile relationship. I think of a 20 year old as a Pygmalian project.

I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker).

(that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)

There must be many good girls around, all the Thai Visa posters (except me) seem to have found one.

I must be meeting the wrong sort of white guys.

Yes, perhaps you should get out more. I know several farangs, including my son, who are married to Thai girls whose virtue is not and was not negotiable. Do you really think all farang-Thai marriages involve a Thai sex worker--past or current?

I haven't met all 'farang-Thai' couples, so can't and haven't posted on the subject.

Not to mention, I'm 60 and don't really mix with foreigners younger than 50, just Thais.

So you don't have a Thai wife, and your son isn't a Thai citizen?

But you're still a racist and call other white people 'farang' including your own son? Unbelievable!

Why are you even posting on this thread?

You have no experience, and nothing to contribute ..... you probably don't even speak Thai.

No, I am not married to a Thai, but I have had Thai gfs--and they were not sex workers. You are correct, my Thai is terrible; I cannot read or write. Most of my Thai friends are educated, speak English, and do not use the term '"farang." Therefore, I place no racism on the term, it simply means a Westerner to me. I am replying to your statements because I disagree with them. You said, “I haven't met a white man in Thailand whose wife/gf didn't appear to be of the 'bar girl' variety (aka prostitute or former sex worker) (that includes massage girls, online dating gold diggers, girls sold by their parents)” Well, I am sorry for you if you have not. I have. In fact, I know several. Imagine that, not married to a Thai and a lousy Thai speaker; yet I know things about Thailand you don’t. As I said, maybe you need to get out more.

[arunsakda]

Rule number 1 is It is freaking madness to pay for homes and vehicles registered in a any woman's name, especially unrelated ones.

Another old ram being fleeced. Rattle your dags and get out!

[MaeJoMTB]

No, I am not married to a Thai, but I have had Thai gfs--and they were not sex workers. You are correct, my Thai is terrible; I cannot read or write. Most of my Thai friends are educated, speak English,

So there you go, everything you know about Thailand is filtered ....... just another sheltered expat.