Starting all over again in Thailand - what would you do different?

[gemguy]

Not get involved in other peoples business affairs run amuck

[HooHaa]

Stayed on in uni for a doctoral degree in marine biology, specialized in tropical reef dynamics, have my choice of tropical locations to live in and do my research, publish a paper every 18 months or so, live off research grants and the occasional lecture fee.

One of the great disappointments of my lifetime is they haven't invented a functional time machine.

ah, like this lot.

seems a good life, and no shortage of cute interns to help pay the bills.

http://coresea.com/

[KhunG]

I am reasonably happily married , have a beautiful wife of compatible age , if much younger both are grandparents . I have renovated my wife's home to a comfortable gentleman's residence and helped to build another house for her son and grandchildren . My wife's family are kind and friendly and not a financial drag on me . I love my wife even though she doesn't see much need for intimacy . We live in rural Thailand , where I find that local culture has little relation to western European culture . After nearly ten years I am bored to tears ; my wife complains that I spend all day at the computer , but it is the only way to keep my sanity . I think if I had my time again , I might not have settled in Thailand

Jesus, this is a sad post........

But often a recurring one I'm afraid.

Lots of expats stuck here with the realisation that more so village life is terribly mundane and a far cry from the paradise that was once experienced at some of the kingdoms many tourist areas many moons ago.

Being fed 35 baht noodle soup and sai gok Issan sausage while all the time longing for corned beef hash or shepherds pie and a pint of Guinness.

All of which is available upcountry.

I live in the NE, too, and the secret to happiness is speaking the language. The people up here are a friendly, fun, and would love to socialize with the Farang, but I've met several who have become recluses like that poster because they can't communicate.

It also helps if he's not someone who was raised his whole life in a big city. It seems to me they're much less able to adapt.

[Bigfarang1948]

I'd move to less expat-oriented area sooner.

If I had it to do over again I would have shacked up with the 17year old bar girl who was prettier by far than any other on soi 4 and whose magnificent rack overshadowed anything that did not have silicone in them.. It was her first night and I have cried over her for 8 years. She promised me that they had no sick water buffalo that was gonna die so please by me another one, and that mama and all her brood were not in the hospital and needed 30,000 baht each for surgery. Or I would have married my wife's beat friend who is the presonnification of a nympho and the best snuggle bunny I am ever likely to find in the complete world. That is just what I would have done concerning the past 8 years.

Before that, when here in 68, I would have shacked up with the big breasted bar girl for a full year instread of just when I could. Her boyfriend was TDy almost all the time so he paid the bills and I got the pleasure.

In 1970 I should have tried marrying the big breasted house girl who did our cleaning in Vietnam. She was a 26 year old widow and I was in love with her' alas a long lifetime ago but not forgotten.

Now, I am married to a small breasted Thai farm girl who has never worked the bars but her big breasted sister has, so when I feel the need to set my eyes on some firm large hooters, I can always see Ann and relive those days when I thought big breasts ruled my world.

Or I might go to India and try those beautoful women before making anotheer life decision. I have been partial to their skin tones and looks for about 25 years too...

[SoiBiker]

I'm not sure why you chose to quote my post for your bosom-obsessed ramblings, but ok then.

[Nowisee]

Visited all the other asian countries sooner and decided not to live full time in thailand and spent more time other places... full time here has done my head in.

Learned more thai sooner... the thai that I have learned has made life easier and more fun here.

rented a place a bit further out from the touristy area and try to have adapted/assimilated more into thai life just for the experience.

Bought my motorcycle sooner

Brought a bicycle over from home

Started yoga straight away

Became vegetarian... ok, with eggs

Had fewer meaningless relationships and held out for the more intelligent english speaker.

Not sure about this one, but maybe started out in Bangkok for the first 6 months... OR, in a remote village up north... haven't decided.

Try to have been more open minded about being charged more for no other reason because I am a foreigner... still working on this one.

[Thian]

I am reasonably happily married , have a beautiful wife of compatible age , if much younger both are grandparents . I have renovated my wife's home to a comfortable gentleman's residence and helped to build another house for her son and grandchildren . My wife's family are kind and friendly and not a financial drag on me . I love my wife even though she doesn't see much need for intimacy . We live in rural Thailand , where I find that local culture has little relation to western European culture . After nearly ten years I am bored to tears ; my wife complains that I spend all day at the computer , but it is the only way to keep my sanity . I think if I had my time again , I might not have settled in Thailand

Jesus, this is a sad post........

But often a recurring one I'm afraid.

Lots of expats stuck here with the realisation that more so village life is terribly mundane and a far cry from the paradise that was once experienced at some of the kingdoms many tourist areas many moons ago.

Being fed 35 baht noodle soup and sai gok Issan sausage while all the time longing for corned beef hash or shepherds pie and a pint of Guinness.

I know several Thai who travel between petchabun and BKK about every 3-4 weeks. If you're willing to pay they can bring you all you wish for and stock it in a freezer.

Or you keep on longing for it while chewing those horrible rotting issan saucages.

But there are so many farang living there that i don't understand why you guys can't eat what you like, just teach the Thai how to cook it and they will.

[farangmick]

Had my house built to a completely different design, similar to most of the Aussies I know. Basically a large rectangle with a big overhang to make a terrace on at least two sides. Boring to look at, but practical with no inverted angles in the roof.

[RT85]

1. take my learning to read/write thai seriously ... by now i would be fluent.

2. not make the many poor furniture/colour choices for the apartment.

3. rent out units i have and live closer to work... maybe find a larger rental too.

4. partied a lot harder while i could.. haha

[ExpatOilWorker]

Everything i ever did in Thailand i was happy with

no regrets

EXCEPT 1

I would have built a shack instead of a 5 star home

now occupied by the parents living in it with a pig in

what used to be our bedroom, a waste of effort and

money.

In a near poetic way, maybe they are trying to send you a message.

[RT85]

all you can eat Tacos! ok! thanks i'll go look that up!

Easy.

+ Played around just a bit more before settling down with Thai Wife.

+ Secured job as "Female Interviewer" at Spanky's in Nana Plaza.

+ Certified all girls at "Naughty Girls" on Soi See, Sukhumvit.

+ Got that beautiful girl's number that crazy night @ Tawandang.

+ Found sooner the special "All-You-Can-Eat-Tacos" at Sunrise Tacos in Terminal 21.

+ Dated that rich woman longer in Chiang Mai.

+ Learned how to IMPORT BUD Lite into Thailand.


OK. Enough of my dribble.
I'm pretty happy!!

[chrisinth]

All to do again?

Maybe visiting Thailand for 10 years or so before moving here

Maybe spend a couple of years in Pattaya burning the candle at both ends

Perhaps being able to realize that it was time to settle down a bit, move out of the commercial areas and get married to someone close to my own age

Maybe start a business with new wife for about 12 years until we were ready to have a quiet life

Perhaps help a few people with computers and such things. In an ideal world that could end with employment into a job which I actually could enjoy doing until present day.

But, through experience living here, I have found no reason to repeat history, so no, there is not much I would change...........

Everyone's adventures are different, in my case the good far out-reaches the bad. I have a lot to be thankful off with my Thai experience.

[ExpatOilWorker]

I think that the only thing that I would do differently would be not to get involved with buying property here.

I would have done the exact opposite.. I have been coming to Thailand since 1973, I did buy several properties/built our home when the exchange rate was in the 40s (USD). I wish I had tracked the baht and taken advantage when it was in the 50s. If I had known I would still be married to the same women for 42 years. I would have purchased lots of land. It was almost nothing 40 years ago....

Would have, could have and should have. It is a bit like the butterfly effect, if you had bought some prime land in the '70 that is now worth +100 million, your lovely wife might have cashed in or gambled it all away. Be happy for what you have.

[spidermike007]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

[55Jay]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

Excellent post.

[micmichd]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

What about 50/50?

[stephenterry]

Staying in a loving relationship with my dream woman, who now is now only a dream, after I callously dumped her for a siren...

[stephen tracy]

Not bought property, and never rode a motorbike, and subsequently not have gone to Chula hospital with a shattered shoulder and waited 4 hours to se a doctor and get a shot of morphine when I could have walked 5 minutes to BNH and been seen to in 5 minutes. Started learning Thai earlier. Thought of and patented the Selfie Stick .

[micmichd]

Transfer everything to Thailand, not tell anyone, and simply disappear.

[outre99]

would have made a bigger and better effort to learn Thai at the beginning when had the money and time. Much harder when working full time.

Would have been much more discriminating about who to have long term relationships with.

[micmichd]

Know I won't have any friends in Germany if I leave.

[hhgz]

Bring less stuff.

[Amusements]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However after 7 years I would not do anything different, because I have made my mistakes and learnt from them, and I am still here!

[SoiBiker]

I'd start putting ice in my beer sooner.

[Tarteso]

Take protective stomach for spicy food.

[Najinsky]

Left my money at home and experience Thailand like most of the natives do, poor.

As opposed to bringing money and then experiencing the worst Thailand has to offer as people queue up to take it from you.

I found this out in time, some were too late and leave destroyed.

[spidermike007]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

What about 50/50?

50/50 is western indoctrination. It comes from years and years of being beaten down by women, who cannot accept 50/50. That is the deal they attempt to broker. Buyer beware. It is never the real deal. All relationships require a leader. In the west, 97% of the time, it is the woman. Here, in the LOS, many women are happy and content for a man to take the lead. Do not be cajoled into thinking 50/50 is the right thing to do. And I am not talking about fairness or equity. All of that needs to be present. But, taking the lead is a whole different dynamic. Some men just can't do it, after a lifetime of emasculation.

[inzman]

I would not have married the first wife I had here !

[SoiBiker]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

What about 50/50?

50/50 is western indoctrination. It comes from years and years of being beaten down by women, who cannot accept 50/50. That is the deal they attempt to broker. Buyer beware. It is never the real deal. All relationships require a leader. In the west, 97% of the time, it is the woman. Here, in the LOS, many women are happy and content for a man to take the lead. Do not be cajoled into thinking 50/50 is the right thing to do. And I am not talking about fairness or equity. All of that needs to be present. But, taking the lead is a whole different dynamic. Some men just can't do it, after a lifetime of emasculation.

Some men just can't handle a woman who's their equal. That doesn't mean all men are like that, though.

[spidermike007]

Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that.

Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen.

What about 50/50?

50/50 is western indoctrination. It comes from years and years of being beaten down by women, who cannot accept 50/50. That is the deal they attempt to broker. Buyer beware. It is never the real deal. All relationships require a leader. In the west, 97% of the time, it is the woman. Here, in the LOS, many women are happy and content for a man to take the lead. Do not be cajoled into thinking 50/50 is the right thing to do. And I am not talking about fairness or equity. All of that needs to be present. But, taking the lead is a whole different dynamic. Some men just can't do it, after a lifetime of emasculation.

Some men just can't handle a woman who's their equal. That doesn't mean all men are like that, though.

In the west we are taught that all women are equal, whether they are, or not. Here a woman is judged on her merits. Equal is a wonderful thing. If it is earned and if it is deserved. However, that still does not mean there cannot be a leader in a relationship. My being a leader does not mean my woman is not my equal. She is comfortable being a woman and I am comfortable being a man. She appreciates my taking the lead on things. She does not like me constantly asking, honey what do you want to do? She considers men who ask that constantly to be wimpy, wet rags, without a strong will. That rarely happens in the west anymore. Most men are not allowed to lead or to make decisions on their own in the west. Honey, please check your balls at the door. Edited November 2, 2015 by spidermike007