SoiBiker Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Yet another trying to extrapolate the fallout from his failed relationships into some kind of deluded universal theory about Western women. Never your fault, is it guys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I would have left at least five years earlier. Can't believe I wasted waited till I was 35 to get out. Thailand is for retirement and young guys partying. 28-50 should be time spent making money elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotheruser Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Thinking about it more I would have come to Laos or neighboring countries earlier. I still got to Laos in before the last wave but had I gone and stayed 5 or 10 years earlier than I did I would have had a much larger economic advantage. The land that my business sits on now was purchased for $55,000 and had it been bought in say the year 2,000 it would have cost around $500. Small islands on the river were going for less than $50 back in those days. My neighbors wife sold an island for around $10 worth of chickens back then. The concept of land ownership just didn't really exist. If the river took the river bank away, you just moved your shack back a few meters. So I guess I wish I would have been braver sooner and went off the beaten track where the opportunities were more bountiful. The period of time between when Lao opened to westerners and 2010 was really a period of great opportunity the pickings were easy. We all knew it would grow but I wish I would have trusted my instinct a bit more. It has exceeded my expectations by 10 times or more and I wish I would have taken advantage of that sooner. Perhaps some of the older hands on this board can remember when Thailand would have been like what I describe but it doesn't seem to have been that way ever in my life time. Although I am getting older and don't think I would want to go through that set of difficulties again. I would have also tried to help out a lot less. I used to do all kinds of stupid do gooder type crap that never added up to a hill of beans. I wouldn't waste my time volunteering or trying to paint the schools or give books away etc. I would have left that to the NGO crowd and started helping private business develop sooner as this has benefited the people I am trying to help more than any public projects I undertook did. You want to see farmers argue start handing out bags of rice. I am not knocking anybody involved with an NGO here but it just isn't how I work. Without a very good organization behind you and the right circumstances it is likely you are doing more harm than good was my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Somehow make myself less handsome and break fewer hearts. Somehow make myself less handsome. You can make yourself right ugly by visiting a tattoo parlour, then grow some facial hair for starters. Then you can think about a bigger belly. None of that would work for me; I am so wonderful, I am handsome even to blind women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that. Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen. What about 50/50? 50/50 is western indoctrination. It comes from years and years of being beaten down by women, who cannot accept 50/50. That is the deal they attempt to broker. Buyer beware. It is never the real deal. All relationships require a leader. In the west, 97% of the time, it is the woman. Here, in the LOS, many women are happy and content for a man to take the lead. Do not be cajoled into thinking 50/50 is the right thing to do. And I am not talking about fairness or equity. All of that needs to be present. But, taking the lead is a whole different dynamic. Some men just can't do it, after a lifetime of emasculation. micmichd, it sounds as if you're afraid a strong woman will emasculate you. I prefer a woman who can do more than just spread her legs. I look for a partner who can help me make a better life for us both; one who contributes to our life together instead of just being a drain on our resources. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 I'm not sure why you chose to quote my post for your bosom-obsessed ramblings, but ok then. Classic. Can't stop laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 (edited) Fortunately, this one is not from personal experience, as I followed my own advice here, and was successful in doing so. Take your time. With everything. When it comes to finding the right woman, buying a house or land, investing in a business, etc. They will always push you. They will always give you so many reasons for doing it quickly. But, we need to push back. Always. Never move too fast, especially where women or money are concerned. If it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems and issues, they will reveal themselves over time. So, use time as the ally that it is. Time is almost never their ally. But, it is almost always your friend and ally. Use it wisely. She will always try to push the agenda. I need a commitment now. I cannot wait. I need money now. I need support now. My mothers buffalo is sick now. We need to build a house now. Bullshit. Always push back. Always be prepared to walk, in the early days. One of your most powerful tools, is your willingness, and ability to walk away. Who is calling the shots anyway? If you prefer being a neutered man, you were better off staying in the US, Europe, or Australia. There, emasculation is expected. Here, you are allowed to be a man. And many women will honor you for that. Always remember, most healthy relationships need someone to be the boss, and take charge. That does not mean you cannot be a good team. But, If you don't take charge, she will. Don't let that happen. What about 50/50? 50/50 is western indoctrination. It comes from years and years of being beaten down by women, who cannot accept 50/50. That is the deal they attempt to broker. Buyer beware. It is never the real deal. All relationships require a leader. In the west, 97% of the time, it is the woman. Here, in the LOS, many women are happy and content for a man to take the lead. Do not be cajoled into thinking 50/50 is the right thing to do. And I am not talking about fairness or equity. All of that needs to be present. But, taking the lead is a whole different dynamic. Some men just can't do it, after a lifetime of emasculation. micmichd, it sounds as if you're afraid a strong woman will emasculate you. I prefer a woman who can do more than just spread her legs. I look for a partner who can help me make a better life for us both; one who contributes to our life together instead of just being a drain on our resources. Not sure, maybe I can't escape from my education that easily. Anyway, I've learnt to accept that my Thai gf is better in economy than me, and that won't emasculate me at all. The times of a "clash of genders" is over for me. Once again, it's the German welfare system that emasculate their subordinates if they don't obey. Doctors and "emancipated" Farang females decide which men are allowed to stay in Thailand, I've seen this many times. This may get worse with an aging society. More and more old Farangs will suffer from dementia and might not be able to make their own decisions. Who will decide then? Edited November 3, 2015 by micmichd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingalfred Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Starting over? Never burn your bridges from home country Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubascuba3 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Yet another trying to extrapolate the fallout from his failed relationships into some kind of deluded universal theory about Western women. Never your fault, is it guys? Indeed, and then the losers come to Thailand and pay a monthly salary to a prostitute wife / partner. Sad I kind of agree but if for example a guy is 70 and the girl 30 you expect them to do it for free? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Yet another trying to extrapolate the fallout from his failed relationships into some kind of deluded universal theory about Western women. Never your fault, is it guys? Indeed, and then the losers come to Thailand and pay a monthly salary to a prostitute wife / partner. Sad I kind of agree but if for example a guy is 70 and the girl 30 you expect them to do it for free? Maybe the guy should find a more appropriate partner. Maybe if he hadn't made such a mess of his previous relationships he'd already have one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Starting to derail into relationship issues, please return to the main topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubascuba3 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Yet another trying to extrapolate the fallout from his failed relationships into some kind of deluded universal theory about Western women. Never your fault, is it guys? Indeed, and then the losers come to Thailand and pay a monthly salary to a prostitute wife / partner. Sad I kind of agree but if for example a guy is 70 and the girl 30 you expect them to do it for free?Maybe the guy should find a more appropriate partner.Maybe if he hadn't made such a mess of his previous relationships he'd already have one. You're in the wrong country to say that.Now back on track... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evadgib Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 One of the great disappointments of my lifetime is they haven't invented a functional time machine. A dyslexic might think he'd found one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyaw Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I'd move to less expat-oriented area sooner. If I had it to do over again I would have shacked up with the 17year old bar girl who was prettier by far than any other on soi 4 and whose magnificent rack overshadowed anything that did not have silicone in them.. It was her first night and I have cried over her for 8 years. She promised me that they had no sick water buffalo that was gonna die so please by me another one, and that mama and all her brood were not in the hospital and needed 30,000 baht each for surgery. Or I would have married my wife's beat friend who is the presonnification of a nympho and the best snuggle bunny I am ever likely to find in the complete world. That is just what I would have done concerning the past 8 years. Before that, when here in 68, I would have shacked up with the big breasted bar girl for a full year instread of just when I could. Her boyfriend was TDy almost all the time so he paid the bills and I got the pleasure. In 1970 I should have tried marrying the big breasted house girl who did our cleaning in Vietnam. She was a 26 year old widow and I was in love with her' alas a long lifetime ago but not forgotten. Now, I am married to a small breasted Thai farm girl who has never worked the bars but her big breasted sister has, so when I feel the need to set my eyes on some firm large hooters, I can always see Ann and relive those days when I thought big breasts ruled my world. Or I might go to India and try those beautoful women before making anotheer life decision. I have been partial to their skin tones and looks for about 25 years too... Beautoful sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 off topic removed again, this is not about relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 I would not have left anything at all in Germany, absolutely nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireMedic Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 3 years in and I've made a few mistakes. Nothing terrible or life threatening but mistakes nonetheless. I have a great job, great woman, rental house, car....I'm pretty happy. I am positive that learning Thai is the upmost importance if you are going to live here. And overall as soon as you can become independent from Thai services, such as taxis, etc, your life is much easier. My other choice would have been Colombia. I was there 6 years, fluent in Spanish and had lots of friends. Visas are way easier and so is working.......and Colombian chicks are incredible if you haven't seen them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Off topic posts removed, Any further issues and the thread will be closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBike Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I wouldn't have paid up front for two of my girlfriends kids 5 year education at Bangkok Patana who then left me one month later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Did these two girlfriends find out you're a butterfly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I would not have wasted money trying to do business here. The same kind of business that I did very well from in the UK.(Publishing) I expected to much, I did not understand the cultural differences. Nothing else other than I wished I had learned to speak Thai fluently. All I can do is get by, but not get involved in a real conversation. What I don't regret is moving here...so far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stickylies Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Exchange 50.000eur when thb was 50+ instead of exchanging 10.000eur. That's all basically. Been here since my late 30s. Never bought never married never touristy spot never worked... Always had time of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Come here earlier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Wanting to retire in Thailand early, I came over here with a pocket full of money and went into business. That ended up being a huge expensive mistake. I went back home with my tail tucked between my legs and knew for sure that I certainly didn't know enough about Thailand. Back home, I had a very good job and lived frugally, saved my money and built up my pensions. I did it right this time. This time I retired comfortably with no need to have any type of business or additional income. I'm not wealthy by any means but I have enough to comfortably live out the rest of my days in comfort. Thailand is a great place to retire provided that you can afford it. Being destitute in Thailand would NOT be a good way to live. I'm happy to say that my pensions provide a healthy surplus every month. I even have a plan "B". I have been happily married for more than ten years and I doubt that she will throw me out of her upcountry house but if she does, I have a condo in my name in the farang ghetto. I will always have a roof over my head and certainly won't miss any meals.You must plan carefully because you never know for sure what the future may bring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExpatOilWorker Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I live an inherent safe life, so no major blunders and if I look back at my time in Thailand the only thing I would change is to move the kitchen extractor hood 4 higher. I keep bumping my head into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 (edited) Yet another trying to extrapolate the fallout from his failed relationships into some kind of deluded universal theory about Western women. Never your fault, is it guys? I have a great long term relationship here. And I had a few in the states too. But they were with ball busters. Good women. Alot of good qualities. But they insisted on either partial or full emasculation. It was not their fault. It was their training, their environment, their girlfriends, and their background. But all were ball busters. No thanks. I prefer a woman who is comfortable with the dignity and grace that comes with femininity. There are very few of those in the West. Most western women seem to be scared to death of the few remaining cells of femininity left in their bones. Apologize all you want for the ones who do not possess that elegance. That does not change a thing. Edited November 6, 2015 by spidermike007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baneko Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Wish I had not wasted my time with farang women. Moved to Thailand at 25 instead of 36. Thats about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stickylies Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Wish I had not wasted my time with farang women. Moved to Thailand at 25 instead of 36. Thats about it. fair enough but do keep in mind that your mum is farang woman too.... and so is your granny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johntwo Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 As someone who is considering moving to Thailand in the future I would like to thank anyone who has posted a valid reply to this thread. Very informative. On the other hand I have no idea why some people find it so difficult to keep to the thread topic and feel it is their duty to comment on someone else's genuine reply to the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baneko Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Wish I had not wasted my time with farang women. Moved to Thailand at 25 instead of 36. Thats about it. fair enough but do keep in mind that your mum is farang woman too.... and so is your granny... And how do you know Im not Thai? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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