Pai: British rape victim speaks up about ordeal

[jacko45k]

The biggest mistake she made was believing that all the 'smiles' in the Land of Smiles are genuine.

Yes, the smile and friendliness, on top of the tropical environment and alcohol are disarming.

The reality that it might be difficult to get home escaped her.

She engaged in very risky behaviour, and was silly to not stick with her friends......

Of course I do not say it was her fault, but to be out drinking, late at night, with no get home plan is stupidity.

[LarryBird]

The problem with the people blaming her for being out at that time of night, etc is that they just offer NOTHING to the discussion. If she was wearing a chastity belt or carrying mace/a gun she also could have prevented this from happening. No one is saying it's a great idea to wonder the streets at night alone, but mentioning just contributes absolutely nothing of substance. There are interesting aspects of the story here, mainly how the police handled the case, but looking back at some mundane aspects and pointing the finger there is zero level thought.

Perhaps if the statistics show she is significantly safer in her home country, we can say she never should have gotten on a plane to visit Thailand.

[Robert24]

The problem with the people blaming her for being out at that time of night, etc is that they just offer NOTHING to the discussion. If she was wearing a chastity belt or carrying mace/a gun she also could have prevented this from happening. No one is saying it's a great idea to wonder the streets at night alone, but mentioning just contributes absolutely nothing of substance. There are interesting aspects of the story here, mainly how the police handled the case, but looking back at some mundane aspects and pointing the finger there is zero level thought.

Perhaps if the statistics show she is significantly safer in her home country, we can say she never should have gotten on a plane to visit Thailand.

well crime prevention has 2 aspects, 1) is a deterrent sentence for criminals and 2) adjusting behaviour to make it more difficult for potential criminals to commit a crime. Both in UK and Thailand and elsewhere in the world.

[MiKT]

I feel sorry for this person even though she is a lesbian she has had a catastrophic time all round gross ineptitude by all parties involved, although the police paid for the rape test which in this case should have been free more could have been done to help her and this is certainly not good for tourism .

"even though she is a lesbian" so do you think she should have a big tattoo on her forehead saying "please rape me I am a lesbian and I need you to cure me of this terrible affliction" This is the way your post and a whole lot of other disgusting posts read on this forum. She knows Thailand and she was extrodinarily knowledgable about what to do if raped and outstandingly brave to keep her wits about her and do all the right things that probably saved her life even though they must have disgusted her at the time. She deserves only sympathy and commendation for going to the police. She like all the dipsos on this forum has every right to go out and get drunk and have fun with her friends. Nothing can excuse rape. She seems to be an exceptionally brave woman and I think (and hope) this will enable her to recover from this terrible experience and not let it blight the rest of her life. Her sexual choices are hers and hers alone, jokes about lesbians have no place in a story about rape. Man rape is popular in some countries, but that wont stop men going out and getting drunk. There are no excuses for rape.

Good rant... Would you please show us any post that is making an excuse for rape. I can't find any in this thread.

You are condemed by your own words, which de facto excuse the rape because she is a lesbian, but clearly your prejudices prevent you seeing it.

[FolkGuitar]

I feel sorry for this person even though she is a lesbian she has had a catastrophic time all round gross ineptitude by all parties involved, although the police paid for the rape test which in this case should have been free more could have been done to help her and this is certainly not good for tourism .

"even though she is a lesbian" so do you think she should have a big tattoo on her forehead saying "please rape me I am a lesbian and I need you to cure me of this terrible affliction" This is the way your post and a whole lot of other disgusting posts read on this forum. She knows Thailand and she was extrodinarily knowledgable about what to do if raped and outstandingly brave to keep her wits about her and do all the right things that probably saved her life even though they must have disgusted her at the time. She deserves only sympathy and commendation for going to the police. She like all the dipsos on this forum has every right to go out and get drunk and have fun with her friends. Nothing can excuse rape. She seems to be an exceptionally brave woman and I think (and hope) this will enable her to recover from this terrible experience and not let it blight the rest of her life. Her sexual choices are hers and hers alone, jokes about lesbians have no place in a story about rape. Man rape is popular in some countries, but that wont stop men going out and getting drunk. There are no excuses for rape.

Good rant... Would you please show us any post that is making an excuse for rape. I can't find any in this thread.

You are condemed by your own words, which de facto excuse the rape because she is a lesbian, but clearly your prejudices prevent you seeing it.

Good rant... But would you please show us any post that is making an excuse for rape. I still can't find any in this thread.

In fact, in 90% of the post that I've made myself, I quite clearly state that she is NOT to blame for the rape. I've repeated stated that the only one to blame is the rapist.

I've certainly never even used the word 'lesbian' in any post, nor intimated it.

So please, rather than just stomping your foot in anger like a spoiled child, be an adult and show us any post that is making an excuse for rape.

[FolkGuitar]

... so instead of showing us that which you are complaining about, instead, you call people names...

[MiKT]

I feel sorry for this person even though she is a lesbian she has had a catastrophic time all round gross ineptitude by all parties involved, although the police paid for the rape test which in this case should have been free more could have been done to help her and this is certainly not good for tourism .

"even though she is a lesbian" so do you think she should have a big tattoo on her forehead saying "please rape me I am a lesbian and I need you to cure me of this terrible affliction" This is the way your post and a whole lot of other disgusting posts read on this forum. She knows Thailand and she was extrodinarily knowledgable about what to do if raped and outstandingly brave to keep her wits about her and do all the right things that probably saved her life even though they must have disgusted her at the time. She deserves only sympathy and commendation for going to the police. She like all the dipsos on this forum has every right to go out and get drunk and have fun with her friends. Nothing can excuse rape. She seems to be an exceptionally brave woman and I think (and hope) this will enable her to recover from this terrible experience and not let it blight the rest of her life. Her sexual choices are hers and hers alone, jokes about lesbians have no place in a story about rape. Man rape is popular in some countries, but that wont stop men going out and getting drunk. There are no excuses for rape.

Good rant... Would you please show us any post that is making an excuse for rape. I can't find any in this thread.

You are condemed by your own words, which de facto excuse the rape because she is a lesbian, but clearly your prejudices prevent you seeing it.

Good rant... But would you please show us any post that is making an excuse for rape. I still can't find any in this thread.
In fact, in 90% of the post that I've made myself, I quite clearly state that she is NOT to blame for the rape. I've repeated stated that the only one to blame is the rapist.
I've certainly never even used the word 'lesbian' in any post, nor intimated it.
So please, rather than just stomping your foot in anger like a spoiled child, be an adult and show us any post that is making an excuse for rape.

My sincere apologies, my comments were originally in response to Springheeledjacks post which started with "even though she is a lesbian" which in itself is an excuse for rape. They were not directed at you originally I should have read your post better.
But and its a very big BUT many posts here do blame the victim for being out alone late and being drunk and not having a plan to get home, it seems that a lot of posters cannot even read (yes like me). She was not alone intentionally, she was seperated from her friends and she did everything she could to help herself. She has been here before and probably been on many motorcycle taxis, she was unlucky to get such a bastard to "help her". Many posts read as if she deliberately got into this situation and should have avoided it. If you think like that nobody should ever go out and have fun at night. I certainly misspent a lot of my youth getting drunk and missing the last train home or worse not missing it and behaving dreadfully. But I was never raped or raped anybody. Of course its common sense to be careful in certain situations. Going out alone day or night in South Africa for instance is looking for trouble, but this is not the case in most of Thailand. Having been here before and having some idea of Thailand she is entitled to think that she would be ok as 99% of the time she would have been.
I am not a PC person but jokes have no place in a forum about a real rape. If you think I am ranting....<deleted>...cheers.

[Robert24]

555 you think the problem is that I don't comprehend what you are saying. That's hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

Of all the things one might post in response to this harrowing experience, you choose not to condemn the attacker, commend the brave victim, appreciate the additional information, point out good police work, or wish for her speedy recovery, but to blame the victim. Yes, we know your reply will start with, "I was only pointing out that..." but my point, and my question, is why you chose to do so. Public service?

I obviously don't know what exactly happened but I must say that she has been a bit careless to say the least to end up alone without friends, probably intoxinated, at 2am in Pai. And then ask some drunk man to give her a ride back to her guesthouse which was way out of town. It's just high risk behaviour.

I'm not sure where you get to with your point about Public service. I was pointing out my opinion nothing else. Being female, alone, possibly drunk at 2am in the morning, in a deserted small town is probably nowhere in the world a safe situation to be in, not in England nor in Thailand. By getting into that situation, she became vulnerable to be exploited by someone and that's what happened. I hope other people learn from this incident and are more careful. That's all I'm saying. I'm not defending the criminal here, they caught him, he will have to face justice and if guilty he will spend a lot of time behind bars.

Let me give you a less violent example hopefully to explain my point. Let's assume you leave your tablet on the front seat in your car when park at a shopping mall and you don't lock the car. When you come back you realise someone's stolen your tablet from your car. Now clearly that situation doesn't justify it for the thief to steal the tablet, but you were careless in leaving a) the tablet in the car visible from the outside and you left the car unlocked. Hope that analogy explains my point.

glad you understand what I'm saying. Do you agree with it as well?

[TPI]

Isn't it still a 'he said' 'she said' thing ? He must of talked very good english when drunk.

Shor 'nuff! Obviously the girl "entrapped him" hoping for a big payoff, we all know how these cunning farang girls are! They smile and say "hello", liars, they're just trying to take advantage of us poor, misunderstood, workers. They really want unprotected sex with a tiny willy!!

[Sao Jiang Mai]

To the few of you (as with human nature, most posts have been compassionate and fair) who are trying to blame anyone but the rapist:

Victim dressed in mini skirt - where on earth did that accusation come from? She was not wearing a mini skirt and in fact there was no mention of how she was dressed.

Her parents didn't bring her up right - it's her parent's fault that a man in Pai decided one night to force himself onto a woman?

Probably not a true story since it was written by a journalist - yes, we go around making up stories for fun because the world is so boring and nothing bad ever happens...

Why she should not be surprised to be raped when she was out alone at night - please read the story, and yes, we women are constantly surprised that men seem to think that they have the right to rape us if our behaviour doesn't fit into their expectations.

How do we know this isn't a false accusation - well, there is a victim who has nothing to gain from accusing a stranger of rape, there is a hospital who did a rape test, there is the embassy who is helping the victim go through the process, there is the police report, the DNA match and his confession, as well as her words told to the police, the hospital, the embassy and the media, all of whom are not in the habit of believing every story at face value. But maybe it is all made up to confound online forum users.

She would have learned to fight back during her lesbian indoctrination - What, the what? Is there a course? lesbians can fight when straight women can't? What?

Anyway, I don't normally respond to comments on my articles, and this comment is not in its, nor my, defence, but on behalf of the victim, women and human decency. And please remember that victims use the internet too, imagine what she is thinking reading your hurtful and completely unsubstantiated comments.

And to all the fair and balanced comments, thank you for keeping things sane and being compassionate. (editor of CityNews)

[medina21]

To the few of you (as with human nature, most posts have been compassionate and fair) who are trying to blame anyone but the rapist:

Victim dressed in mini skirt - where on earth did that accusation come from? She was not wearing a mini skirt and in fact there was no mention of how she was dressed.

Her parents didn't bring her up right - it's her parent's fault that a man in Pai decided one night to force himself onto a woman?

Probably not a true story since it was written by a journalist - yes, we go around making up stories for fun because the world is so boring and nothing bad ever happens...

Why she should not be surprised to be raped when she was out alone at night - please read the story, and yes, we women are constantly surprised that men seem to think that they have the right to rape us if our behaviour doesn't fit into their expectations.

How do we know this isn't a false accusation - well, there is a victim who has nothing to gain from accusing a stranger of rape, there is a hospital who did a rape test, there is the embassy who is helping the victim go through the process, there is the police report, the DNA match and his confession, as well as her words told to the police, the hospital, the embassy and the media, all of whom are not in the habit of believing every story at face value. But maybe it is all made up to confound online forum users.

She would have learned to fight back during her lesbian indoctrination - What, the what? Is there a course? lesbians can fight when straight women can't? What?

Anyway, I don't normally respond to comments on my articles, and this comment is not in its, nor my, defence, but on behalf of the victim, women and human decency. And please remember that victims use the internet too, imagine what she is thinking reading your hurtful and completely unsubstantiated comments.

And to all the fair and balanced comments, thank you for keeping things sane and being compassionate. (editor of CityNews)

Well said. Agree wholeheartedly with you. There are some vey sad people on this forum. Again, best wishes to the poor lady.

[FolkGuitar]

My sincere apologies, my comments were originally in response to Springheeledjacks post which started with "even though she is a lesbian" which in itself is an excuse for rape. They were not directed at you originally I should have read your post better.

Yes. You should have. Instead, you simply reacted with kneejerk behavior lumping all males together. Do you know what people call women who do this? Do you really think it's showing better behavior than the males who make jokes at other people's expense?

But and its a very big BUT many posts here do blame the victim for being out alone late and being drunk and not having a plan to get home,

Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault. It's not an excuse for rape. There is no excuse for rape. The only one to blame for the rape was the rapist. There is no question about this. She didn't 'ask' to be raped. She placed herself in a position to be victimized.

It WAS pure stupidity ON HER PART to put herself in a position to be a victim of ANY crime. In this case the crime was rape. It could have been a robbery. It could have been a murder. It was a crime. The criminal was to blame for the crime. She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized.

If you think like that nobody should ever go out and have fun at night. I certainly misspent a lot of my youth getting drunk and missing the last train home or worse not missing it and behaving dreadfully. But I was never raped

Most people aren't. Even really stupid people who do things like this are lucky far more than they are unlucky. But it's just that... Luck.

Most people are NOT victims of crime. Most people go through their entire lives without becoming victims of crime. Percentage-wise, there are very few victims. HOWEVER, there are FAR MORE victims who have placed themselves into situations where they can become victims than there are 'accidental' victims. The criminal looks for easy targets. They are not looking for a difficult time. A burglar will pass up a home with lighted windows, a TV playing, and alarm warning stickers on the windows for an empty house with no car in the driveway. A rapist isn't going to molest a women who is standing with a group of friends in a lighted area... Not until she goes off by herself down a dark road at 2am... The term is 'target of opportunity.' This woman made herself a 'target of opportunity.'

Going out alone day or night in South Africa for instance is looking for trouble, but this is not the case in most of Thailand.

If you believe this to be true, you are setting yourself up to be victimized.

ANY person (male or female) walking alone on an empty rural road at 2am in ANY country of the world had better be vigilant. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I am saying that you'd better be very aware of what is going on around you. In any country in the world.

[MiKT]

My sincere apologies, my comments were originally in response to Springheeledjacks post which started with "even though she is a lesbian" which in itself is an excuse for rape. They were not directed at you originally I should have read your post better.

Yes. You should have. Instead, you simply reacted with kneejerk behavior lumping all males together. Do you know what people call women who do this? Do you really think it's showing better behavior than the males who make jokes at other people's expense?

Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault. It's not an excuse for rape. There is no excuse for rape. The only one to blame for the rape was the rapist. There is no question about this. She didn't 'ask' to be raped. She placed herself in a position to be victimized.

It WAS pure stupidity ON HER PART to put herself in a position to be a victim of ANY crime. In this case the crime was rape. It could have been a robbery. It could have been a murder. It was a crime. The criminal was to blame for the crime. She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized.

Going out alone day or night in South Africa for instance is looking for trouble, but this is not the case in most of Thailand.

If you believe this to be true, you are setting yourself up to be victimized.

ANY person (male or female) walking alone on an empty rural road at 2am in ANY country of the world had better be vigilant. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I am saying that you'd better be very aware of what is going on around you. In any country in the world.

Pity you can't read properly and are so selective in your replies. I made a mistake lumping your post with the other one for which I (obviously mistakenly) apologised, What do you want? do you expect me to grovel to a <deleted> misogynist like you?

I have 6 daughters who go out when and anywhere they like, wearing what they like and they have been taught and are expected to take care of what they do and where they go and who with; what you chose to call a "rant" is my expression of disgust at those, like you, who blame the poor girl for getting raped.

Why don't you read the <deleted> report before opening your mouth, she was not to blame, she did not "put herself in a position to be a victim" some slimy <deleted> took advantage of her. I stand by what I say about Thailand, There is much less chance of a farang tourist getting raped here than in most other countries.

Yes of course you need to be vigilant at 2 PM on an empty road (mosty because in Thailand you are much more likely to be run-over than raped) but you make it sound as if she planned to be out on her own looking for trouble so of course it was all her fault. But she was not on a lonely road, she was still at the pub/club and clearly did not expect anything bad to happen to her, rightly based on her previous experiences of Thailand and thus your post is just nonsense. In this case the perpetrator of the crime was not a career criminal. stick to the facts of this case not what if's.

But you are right about one thing, I don't find anything remotely funny about rape.

[FolkGuitar]

My sincere apologies, my comments were originally in response to Springheeledjacks post which started with "even though she is a lesbian" which in itself is an excuse for rape. They were not directed at you originally I should have read your post better.

Yes. You should have. Instead, you simply reacted with kneejerk behavior lumping all males together. Do you know what people call women who do this? Do you really think it's showing better behavior than the males who make jokes at other people's expense?

Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault. It's not an excuse for rape. There is no excuse for rape. The only one to blame for the rape was the rapist. There is no question about this. She didn't 'ask' to be raped. She placed herself in a position to be victimized.

It WAS pure stupidity ON HER PART to put herself in a position to be a victim of ANY crime. In this case the crime was rape. It could have been a robbery. It could have been a murder. It was a crime. The criminal was to blame for the crime. She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized.

Going out alone day or night in South Africa for instance is looking for trouble, but this is not the case in most of Thailand.

If you believe this to be true, you are setting yourself up to be victimized.

ANY person (male or female) walking alone on an empty rural road at 2am in ANY country of the world had better be vigilant. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I am saying that you'd better be very aware of what is going on around you. In any country in the world.

1. Pity you can't read properly and are so selective in your replies. I made a mistake lumping your post with the other one for which I (obviously mistakenly) apologised, What do you want? do you expect me to grovel to a <deleted> misogynist like you?

2. I have 6 daughters who go out when and anywhere they like, wearing what they like and they have been taught and are expected to take care of what they do and where they go and who with; what you chose to call a "rant" is my expression of disgust at those, like you, who blame the poor girl for getting raped.

Why don't you read the <deleted> report before opening your mouth, she was not to blame, she did not "put herself in a position to be a victim" some slimy <deleted> took advantage of her.

3.I stand by what I say about Thailand, There is much less chance of a farang tourist getting raped here than in most other countries.

1. You need to look up the definition of 'misogynist.'

2. Obviously you don't read what I write. Instead, you just react to what you think may have been written.

Shall I count just how many times I have specially stated 'in Bold type' in this thread that the ONLY person to be blamed for the rape was the rapist?

And shall I count just how many times I have specially stated 'in Bold type' in this thread that the woman was NOT responsible for being raped?

I'd venture to say that I've repeated both of them at least half a dozen times. It's interesting that you never bother to read them but then say that "I" blame her for being raped. Do you have some sort of reading disability that prevents you from seeing these. I've said them both in almost every post I've made.

Aren't you embarrassed? Or do you need to make up things that haven't been said just to back up your arguments?

3. That is certainly your right to do so. It's incorrect, of course, just as you've been incorrect in quoting me, and just as you've been incorrect in attributing what I've said. No reason to stop being incorrect now... Out of 120 countries, Thailand is in the top half. More than half the countries in the world have lower percentages of rape. Look it up...

[MaeJoMTB]

I have 6 daughters who go out when and anywhere they like, wearing what they like

I have 1 daughter in Thailand (17 years old).

She is never allowed to go anywhere alone at night, or anywhere at all in the company of boys.

She is only allowed to wear respectable Thai female clothing, shoulders covered at all times in public.

Because

Her mother and I are responsible parents.

And we try to protect her from getting raped, robbed, attacked or murdered.

[Cook my sock]

Most of the arguments seem to be around her accepting a lift from the bar.

I suppose in that scenario you are either going to be walking alone at 3am in the middle of nowhere or accepting a lift from someone at the bar.

So you can go back a few hours and say maybe she shdnt have gone out with her friends, had a few drinks etc, maybe her friends equally shdnt have left her there alone.. We can't always predict situations, it's too easy to blame and point fingers after the event

[MiKT]

1. Pity you can't read properly and are so selective in your replies. I made a mistake lumping your post with the other one for which I (obviously mistakenly) apologised, What do you want? do you expect me to grovel to a <deleted> misogynist like you?

2. I have 6 daughters who go out when and anywhere they like, wearing what they like and they have been taught and are expected to take care of what they do and where they go and who with; what you chose to call a "rant" is my expression of disgust at those, like you, who blame the poor girl for getting raped.

Why don't you read the <deleted> report before opening your mouth, she was not to blame, she did not "put herself in a position to be a victim" some slimy <deleted> took advantage of her.

3.I stand by what I say about Thailand, There is much less chance of a farang tourist getting raped here than in most other countries.

1. You need to look up the definition of 'misogynist.'

2. Obviously you don't read what I write. Instead, you just react to what you think may have been written.

Shall I count just how many times I have specially stated 'in Bold type' in this thread that the ONLY person to be blamed for the rape was the rapist?

And shall I count just how many times I have specially stated 'in Bold type' in this thread that the woman was NOT responsible for being raped?

I'd venture to say that I've repeated both of them at least half a dozen times. It's interesting that you never bother to read them but then say that "I" blame her for being raped. Do you have some sort of reading disability that prevents you from seeing these. I've said them both in almost every post I've made.

Aren't you embarrassed? Or do you need to make up things that haven't been said just to back up your arguments?

3. That is certainly your right to do so. It's incorrect, of course, just as you've been incorrect in quoting me, and just as you've been incorrect in attributing what I've said. No reason to stop being incorrect now... Out of 120 countries, Thailand is in the top half. More than half the countries in the world have lower percentages of rape. Look it up...

So let me see now, you say I have misquoted you, poor thing. Didn't you say:

"Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault"

"She placed herself in a position to be victimized"

"She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized"

plus a lot of other mistaken crap in your earlier posts ................and you still think you are not blaming the victim for being raped.

Sounds exactly like a misogynist to me.

As to your statistics, I said farangs being raped, very few farang women get raped in Thailand, its only a shame that its not the same for Thai women.

To quote you some more.... "GROW UP" and think about the victim, not your bruised ego.

[MiKT]

I have 6 daughters who go out when and anywhere they like, wearing what they like

I have 1 daughter in Thailand (17 years old).

She is never allowed to go anywhere alone at night, or anywhere at all in the company of boys.

She is only allowed to wear respectable Thai female clothing, shoulders covered at all times in public.

Because

Her mother and I are responsible parents.

And we try to protect her from getting raped, robbed, attacked or murdered.

If you must be so bl...y self-righteous you could at least post what I said in full....... "and they have been taught and are expected to take care of what they do and where they go and who with" ...........and so they do. The youngest is 24 and the oldest 40 and they have always managed to keep safe because they have been properly taught by responsible parents.

You need to make sure your daughter knows where it is safe to go and who to be with and she won't learn anything if you wrap her up in cotton wool and if she can't wear what she likes now, she certainly will soon. Its the way of teenagers and you need to guide them not force them.

All of which is no comfort to the poor girl who is the subject of this forum and who may well have been "very properly" bought-up and dressed in sackcloth and ashes for all we know, but was unlucky enough to be attacked by somebody she thought she could trust.

[FolkGuitar]

So let me see now, you say I have misquoted you, poor thing. Didn't you say:

"Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault"

"She placed herself in a position to be victimized"

"She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized"

Yes, I did.

...and you still think you are not blaming the victim for being raped.

That's correct. She was NOT to blame for being raped. I've repeated that fact half a dozen times, but for your sake I'll even repeat it once more: she is not to blame for being raped.

The blame for the rape is solely upon the criminal who raped her. Is this clear enough for you to understand?

She IS to blame for being foolish. She IS to blame for accepting a ride from a total stranger at 2 o'clock in the morning. Try and understand this... There is a difference between acting responsibly as an adult and acting foolishly. "Foolishly." She acted foolishly. The criminal acted illegally. Are you aware enough to recognize that there is a difference? This is why he is to blame for the rape.

Or are you going to tell us that you tell your six daughters that it's OK to do stuff like this? Did you tell them it's OK to talk to strange men? Did you tell them it's OK to accept rides from strange men in the middle of the night when they are alone? Just what sort of parent are you?

Sounds exactly like a misogynist to me.

I guess that, like your quote about Thailand being one of the safest countries, you didn't bother to look this up either. Let me help you.

From the Greek misogynia, from misein to hate + gyn* woman
Date:circa 1656
: a hatred of women

Stating the obvious fact that this woman put herself in a position to be victimized does NOT display a hatred of women, rather, it displays a simple observation. An observation that you just don't like! Too bad. You can call a duck a pig if you like, but it's still gonna quack!

As to your statistics, I said farangs being raped, very few farang women get raped in Thailand, its only a shame that its not the same for Thai women.

Oops! There you go again... one would think you would learn by now. Aren't you getting tired of being incorrect? Percentage wise, more foreign women are raped in Thailand than Thai women. (Mind you, this is 'percentage wise,' not total number.)

[Cook my sock]

Thailand has a very high unreported rate of rapes

We only see the advertised Thailand before we visit and it's really up to the embassies to warn of the dangers.

Why doesn't that happen..

[MiKT]

So let me see now, you say I have misquoted you, poor thing. Didn't you say:

"Being where she was, alone on a rural road at 2am with a stranger WAS her fault"

"She placed herself in a position to be victimized"

"She most certainly is to blame for doing everything her parents warned her not to do, something EVERY parent warns their children not to do... Something MOST adults would never do because it's setting oneself up to be victimized"

Yes, I did.

...and you still think you are not blaming the victim for being raped.

That's correct. She was NOT to blame for being raped. I've repeated that fact half a dozen times, but for your sake I'll even repeat it once more: she is not to blame for being raped.

The blame for the rape is solely upon the criminal who raped her. Is this clear enough for you to understand?

She IS to blame for being foolish. She IS to blame for accepting a ride from a total stranger at 2 o'clock in the morning. Try and understand this... There is a difference between acting responsibly as an adult and acting foolishly. "Foolishly." She acted foolishly. The criminal acted illegally. Are you aware enough to recognize that there is a difference? This is why he is to blame for the rape.

Or are you going to tell us that you tell your six daughters that it's OK to do stuff like this? Did you tell them it's OK to talk to strange men? Did you tell them it's OK to accept rides from strange men in the middle of the night when they are alone? Just what sort of parent are you?

Sounds exactly like a misogynist to me.

I guess that, like your quote about Thailand being one of the safest countries, you didn't bother to look this up either. Let me help you.

From the Greek misogynia, from misein to hate + gyn* woman

Date:circa 1656

: a hatred of women

Stating the obvious fact that this woman put herself in a position to be victimized does NOT display a hatred of women, rather, it displays a simple observation. An observation that you just don't like! Too bad. You can call a duck a pig if you like, but it's still gonna quack!

As to your statistics, I said farangs being raped, very few farang women get raped in Thailand, its only a shame that its not the same for Thai women.

Oops! There you go again... one would think you would learn by now. Aren't you getting tired of being incorrect? Percentage wise, more foreign women are raped in Thailand than Thai women. (Mind you, this is 'percentage wise,' not total number.)

I think you are condemed by your own words and I am not going to bother to keep feeding your ego its disrespectful to the poor victim that you only to clearly blame for the situation. Everything else you say is splitting hairs. Enough, no more from me. You can rant on. Because what you are doing now, trying to defend the indefeasible, really is ranting.

[FolkGuitar]

Thailand has a very high unreported rate of rapes

We only see the advertised Thailand before we visit and it's really up to the embassies to warn of the dangers.

Why doesn't that happen..

Every country has a very high rate of unreported rapes. Also a very high rate of unreported forced incest. Most (other than Thailand) have a high rate of elder abuse. At least Thailand has one of them covered! Let's be thankful for that.

I don't believe that it's up to the embassies and consulates to tell people not to behave in a manner that can lead to victimization. We do receive warnings about possible terrorist attacks. We do receive warnings about possible disease outbreaks, etc., etc. Actually, the American embassy does warn tourists about gem scams in Bangkok.

We shouldn't have to receive warnings not to be stupid. Hopefully our parents did that while we were growing up, and hopefully we listened.

[Cook my sock]

Really strange post. Is it odd to you that every embassy warned female travellers visiting India after a series of rapes?

Thai woman know the dangers of rape in Thailand is extremely high. In Bangkok they will never get into a cab at night alone.

you come across as a very irresponsible person.

[FolkGuitar]

Really strange post. Is it odd to you that every embassy warned female travellers visiting India after a series of rapes?

Thai woman know the dangers of rape in Thailand is extremely high. In Bangkok they will never get into a cab at night alone.

you come across as a very irresponsible person.

Tell me... do you need someone to tell you to come in out of the rain? Sometimes children do. Adults do not.

If you are going to a country that has been in the news repeatedly over the past few years because of the incredible number of rapes that have occurred, do you really need someone to warn you about it? Or are you adult enough to know that you need to be careful?

My wife will not walk alone at night in Chiang Mai. (She is not Thai.) Instead, she'll ask me to accompany her. She doesn't require someone to tell her to be careful. She's an adult. I'm happy to accompany her because I realize that a single woman walking alone at night is setting the stage for possible problems. Two of us together reduces that risk.

If you need someone to tell you to be careful, to not put yourself into high-risk situations, that's OK. Some people do. Frankly, I think our government has more important things to do than play Mommy and Daddy.

[roo860]

This woman was apparently 30 yrs old? not some teenager out on the lash, would expect a bit more common sense,

[Cook my sock]

Having worked indirectly for an Embassy, it's interesting that people don't seem to know the roles or duties they carry out. You really think the majority of travellers are going to be up to date on murders, rapes and road accident statistics of the country they are holidaying in?

[puukao]

Having worked indirectly for an Embassy, it's interesting that people don't seem to know the roles or duties they carry out. You really think the majority of travellers are going to be up to date on murders, rapes and road accident statistics of the country they are holidaying in?

I am up-to-date by the MINUTE. I have an app on my iphone.

Someone above you made it seem like you can't get raped above the age of 30.....since that is the age you use common sense after drinking in a foreign country. LOL

Pai is for all those youtube hippies who think fresh fruit is the key to finding nirvana. they sit around and drink too much kool-aid. they love all humans....care deeply for anyone who gives them free stuff.......yes, they are naive......but a free ride they are happier than anything.....i just wish they all search youtube for bad things in thailand instead of how to cut fresh watermelon.....

I am sure this lady was not from the streets of Detroit, America!!!!

[FolkGuitar]

Having worked indirectly for an Embassy, it's interesting that people don't seem to know the roles or duties they carry out. You really think the majority of travellers are going to be up to date on murders, rapes and road accident statistics of the country they are holidaying in?

Probably not. But anyone with a radio, TV, or anywhere near a newspaper is going to be aware of the problems for women in hotspots such as India. If not, then they most likely aren't on the mailing list for their embassy either. I get updates from the US consulate regularly. Oddly enough, they haven't mentioned anything about the troubles in the Maldives, a very popular vacation venue. Nor have they said a word about the problems in Costa Rica, another very popular expat retirement location. I guess they figure that intelligent, adult visitors are going to check out these sorts of things for themselves before they plunk down several thousand dollars for a vacation.

[DaddyWarbucks]

Having worked indirectly for an Embassy, it's interesting that people don't seem to know the roles or duties they carry out. You really think the majority of travellers are going to be up to date on murders, rapes and road accident statistics of the country they are holidaying in?

Give it up, dude.

Your simpleminded point has been conclusively refuted.

Foreign embassies aren't going to protect their nationals against irresponsible behaviour.

[cgphuket]

It might have been high risk behaviour but this poor girl isn't to blame - she's the victim here.

The article also says she was made to pay for her own rape test.

Of course she is not to blame for being raped. but when will tourist learn this is not Disney world and that cant do whatever stupid things they want with no consequences...