Expected too much in Thailand?

[drronnie]

I wonder what is the best way to cope with the fact that one had some unfilled expectations. Judging from some of the expats who have become disappointed maybe one has to realize that it's harder to turn life 180 degrees than thought when boarding the plane to Swampy.

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[jacky54]

Drinking is the only way to cope with the heat, boredom, noise and stupidity here, oh add air conditioning and ear plugs.

[Cypress Hill]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

[SoiBiker]

I believe the usual way of dealing with it is to go back to where you came from, then spend your spare time on here telling the rest of us how much of a dump Thailand is and that we're idiots for staying here.

It probably doesn't help much, though.

[NovaBlue05]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

[SoiBiker]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

[MatteoBassini]

Posting on forums.

[jacky54]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

waste of time, too pretend to no understand

[NovaBlue05]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

I don't disagree. Probably factors heavily into one's disillusionment with their situation. Probably a bridge too far for most though.

[rgs2001uk]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

Au contraire, they were actually in the minority back home in Farangistan, losers.

They come here with their girl done me wrong stories, ripped off in the divorce courts, sell some dump in Donny or Scunny for 80k quid and think they are Bobs your Uncle.

They had no clout or say back home, heck some of them go home every so often to drive taxis or work on a building site, then come back here and spunk their hard earned.

The bars of Lower Suk or Pattaya are full of them, Walter Mittys.

Big baht, LOL, read some of the posts on the Brit Gov't ripped me off on my pension thread, why is my pension late, its laughable.

The sad fact is, some actually believe what they spout, these sad losers are best avoided.

[rgs2001uk]

Heres a prime example of what I spoke of above.

You want some, LOL.

[Berkshire]

Unrealistic expectations does play a role in how some farangs become disenchanted with Thailand. Somehow, they get it in their head that they're royalty in Thailand, especially with the ladies. These are guys that couldn't get the attention of a hottie back home if their life depended on it. So they spend a couple of weeks in Pattaya, have countless bargirls call them "hansum man," and actually believe that they're rock stars. But once they actually relocate here and stop throwing around the baht, they're flabbergasted that it was all an illusion. Instead of blaming themselves for their stupidity, they blame the Thais.

This is basically how a Thai-basher is created.

[daoyai]

Yet another thread talking anout "the other guy" I was expecting this thread to be reflections on peoples unmet expectations, instead just a bunch on losers slagging off other expats. I expected too much from Thai.....visa members.

[geronimo]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

Learn to speak it, then.

Funny you should say that, I know a few who are fluent and none of them are unhappy, including me. Perhaps there's a connection?

[nidieunimaitre]

My big disappointment here is buddhism.

Of course, I never intended to become a buddhist, as it has a fundamental flaw, just like western philosophies.

But I hoped to be able to find a middle way or combination.

Thailand is not the place for that.

Luckily I found a nice place to live, far away from most farangs and thais, so I enjoy life here 6 months a year.

[fang37]

Spending 6 months in Thailand & 6 months in my native country, I would feel that I do not belong anywhere.

I made a decision - LOS.

[nidieunimaitre]

Spending 6 months in Thailand & 6 months in my native country, I would feel that I do not belong anywhere.

I made a decision - LOS.

Yes that is a problem, not belonging anywhere.

But it works for me - more or less.....

"Enjoying the best of 2 worlds".

[nidieunimaitre]

The OP asked very interesting questions.

Why do expats get disappointed?

How to cope?

I tried to answer both questions, and I look forward to other people's experiences.

But what we do not need is frustrated know-it-all-better posters telling us why in their opinion others have problems.

Those who are 100% happy here do not need to inform us why in their opinion others are not 100% happy.

[pgrahmm]

I think personality types come into play....Those that are quieter - a touch reserved and introspective and have a genuine curiousity and interest in Thailand and it's people do well here. Thai folks enjoy and embrace enthusiasm in a reserved way.

In many ways they are a reserved and traditional culture.

It is a 180 from some peoples cultures and life experiences.

If someone comes here that is

loutish - brash - loud - harsh - judgemental & uncomprehending wanting to change those around them to be like themselves will not fare well here long term no matter their bank account.....They are wired completely differently from the Thai people....

Odds are good they also ran out of time and people/friends where they came from aside from a couple of drinking cronies......So here would be a good place to restart and sort it all out - bad choice.....

Some won't do the simple things like eat Thai food, experience enough of the culture to learn, they live and shop in farang enclaves, mix only with the Thais they buy - then wonder why Thailand falls short of their expectations......

My Thai is VERY poor.....Unfortunately languages have always been a gift I never possessed.

That being said; although I will never blend in - but I really have never experienced an uncomfortable feeling amongst the Thai people....From day one......

Family wise here has the same feeling as family at my birth country.....No one has to work at it and it just flows....Think maybe I got lucky in that respect - or maybe somehow I earned it....

Being respectful, enthusiastically

curious, quiet - relaxed demeanor, with a smile will get you a long way here towards acceptance.....

[mpa]

Being poorer than most Thais I 've met, has somehow helped me to mix with locals. Sure I didnt expect to live like a prince with a grant in my pocket so I'm ok I guess.

[drronnie]

The OP asked very interesting questions.

Why do expats get disappointed?

How to cope?

I tried to answer both questions, and I look forward to other people's experiences.

But what we do not need is frustrated know-it-all-better posters telling us why in their opinion others have problems.

Those who are 100% happy here do not need to inform us why in their opinion others are not 100% happy.

Well the way I cope is I compare my quality of life here to that in Europe. Here you always got good weather, food is great and the people are more open.

Maybe I am a little disappointed by career opportunities and social and live life but I am not in trouble and doing allright. So bottom line I am happy here

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[drronnie]

My big disappointment here is buddhism.

Of course, I never intended to become a buddhist, as it has a fundamental flaw, just like western philosophies.

But I hoped to be able to find a middle way or combination.

Thailand is not the place for that.

Luckily I found a nice place to live, far away from most farangs and thais, so I enjoy life here 6 months a year.

Seconded because Buddhism teaches modesty and distancing themselves from greed. However when people go to the temple for lottery numbers then it's fail....

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[nidieunimaitre]

If it were only the lottery numbers, I would not have too much problem with that.

It is human.

But materialism, money, status, showing off, abuse of power, greed seem to be as bad here in buddhaland as they are in farangland.

And Thais are less good at hiding it.

Spending 90% of my time in Thailand in our far away garden helps me cope though.

And when we are in Europe, we spend most of our time in nature as well.

[drronnie]

If it were only the lottery numbers, I would not have too much problem with that.

It is human.

But materialism, money, status, showing off, abuse of power, greed seem to be as bad here in buddhaland as they are in farangland.

And Thais are less good at hiding it.

Spending 90% of my time in Thailand in our far away garden helps me cope though.

And when we are in Europe, we spend most of our time in nature as well.

Yes it's human but totally contradictory to Buddhism. People also go to pray for money, status and a beautiful wife. What's that got to do with Buddhism?

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[TheSiemReaper]

It's the human condition to complain. Most people don't get the difference between "a holiday/vacation" and "normal life". Turn up with a year's hard-earned saved and go on a mega trawl of the tourists sites, stay in 5 star hotels and get accompanied by every lady in every bar in the country - then decide this is "heaven on earth". Come to live here... find you can only get a job as an ESL teacher... earn three-fifths of nothing... find that once the money's gone, life's pretty much the way it was back home. Get depressed and start whining.

Both sides in this come out badly though. You have the "I've been here 20 years, speak the language, earn next to nothing but I am superior to you because I know some Thai people" and the "I've been here a year, only hang out with other expats, and find life frustrating." both boring the living **** out of me. I'm a serial expat. Your 20 years in country is worthless unless you have some success to show for it - sure you can speak the language but you only use it to discuss farming or what you're going to eat tonight; I'm not impressed. Your one year in the country is also pretty worthless if you haven't found a bit of community and a place by then...

[Cypress Hill]

Yet another thread talking anout "the other guy" I was expecting this thread to be reflections on peoples unmet expectations, instead just a bunch on losers slagging off other expats. I expected too much from Thai.....visa members.

Then proceeds to do what he's slagging everyone else off for allegedly doing.

[shirtless]

I think my expectations of Thailand started dropping around 2012 , I could see the place going south and no one seemed to care, to busy to lazy , Thais have devalued there Country .

[Bernard Flint]

For those living here, I am guessing that not being able to speak the language probably makes many feel isolated after the initial holiday rush wears off

I suppose it depends wqhere in Thailand one is.For me, as someone living in thailand for many years, i feel that only one thing stops someone realy enjoying one,s life here.

THE BOOZE

The realy heavy drinkers had a sad life before thailand, now they seem to get more bitter, moan about anything and everything, 5 baht extra for a beer is awful, 10 baht on 20 ciggies is even worse, get a life and relax

[CharlieH]

I think because there is less to worry about or focus on here, thats why they moan about the stupid and small things because they got sod all else to moan about !

[ev1lchris]

Most of the "unfulfilled expectations" foreigners experience stem from the fact that they just can't handle being a minority.

They're used to having all the clout, all the say, all the influence and, in Thailand, they ain't got jack . . . even with the benefit of big baht

Certainly, there are some who manage just fine but there's a significant hardcore that yearns for the feeling of security and power that comes with being part of the majority that dishes out the crap rather than having to take it.

The ignominy of having people they'd typically walk all over back home telling them not only when to jump but also how high is just too much to bear for some of the old colonials

It's only hard to cope with if you think you should be treated better on account of the colour of your skin or the nationality in your passport

I'm a Japanese male and I am God to these people.