From Prostitute to Proper

[konying]

If anyone on this forum was introduced to a new acquaintance, and was told in private that he has been a serial theif all his previous life, how many would adapt the attitude 'that was in the past' ?

Answer: NONE.

You could never put his past behind him, and you would always be wary of him.

Is this topic any different ?

Well yes - if you were told that in private that an acquaintance of yours had had sex for money would you be wary of him/her.

Well, if she was a looker, i would be offering money under the table hoping its enough to beat what he is paying

On a little more serious note, what you may not understand is her past would not be private the moment she speaks and or the way she acts.

Putting an expansive dress with an expansive hand bag only changes her outer appearance, it does not change the way she speaks, acts and what she says

Of course if you oblivious to your surroundings and what is being said, then you would not be bothered.

Expansive, is that like a really, really big dress and handbag for a very large lady?

Nah, its like shopping at a shop that has a cash counter and a dressing room

[konying]

If anyone on this forum was introduced to a new acquaintance, and was told in private that he has been a serial theif all his previous life, how many would adapt the attitude 'that was in the past' ?

Answer: NONE.

You could never put his past behind him, and you would always be wary of him.

Is this topic any different ?

Well yes - if you were told that in private that an acquaintance of yours had had sex for money would you be wary of him/her.

Well, if she was a looker, i would be offering money under the table hoping its enough to beat what he is paying

On a little more serious note, what you may not understand is her past would not be private the moment she speaks and or the way she acts.

Putting an expansive dress with an expansive hand bag only changes her outer appearance, it does not change the way she speaks, acts and what she says

Of course if you oblivious to your surroundings and what is being said, then you would not be bothered.

Maybe so - to be honest i have found myself finding it harder recently to tell peoples backgrounds after living in Pattaya a few years as so many have moved on to new lives. The biggest giveaway to me is their command of conversational english!

Orac, let me put it to you this way and i think you will relate.

When you speak or hear red neck/yobbo/white trash/hillbilly speak you know by the language, accent, what and how things have been said who this person is or what they come from

I have been living in Thailand full time for around 15 years, whenever i speak English with a girl, its easy to spot if she learned it in the bar or school or had a foreign boyfriend.

While my Thai is far from fluent, it is also good enough to know when i speak Thai with a girl if she was educated or had no education at all.

The choice of words, the use of "ka" and the manner/tone/accent (sorry not sure how to call it) give pretty clear picture and as i said, i am far from fluent.

To a Thai, it is crystal clear just as it is for you regarding the red neck/yobbo/white trash/hillbilly.

Now for those who live in Thailand, it is no secret how "normal" Thai accept them, of course you can ignore it thinking its their problem, where in reality it would be yours.

why? Because you will not be invited or accepted in many circles, the way you would be treated in the bank or any other government office, you could always move to her village and be the village clown, thinking that the entire village loves you and respects you

On the other hand, you could take her back to your home country thinking people do not know. The problem is back home, people have little more brain, so when they see you with an "asian" girl, half your age and weight, they know its a mail order bride.

why? because they are well aware that if she was not, she would not be with a man double her age and weight, unless there was a financial benefit to her.

Of course boys in the pub will be giving high fives and pats on the back, while everyone else would be looking down on you.

Do note, by you i was not referring to you personally.

Edited December 15, 2015 by konying

[MrTrip]

You are stil judging Asia by your western values.

Prostitution, as you chose to call it is not the same as it is in the west and does not carry the negitive conitations it does wherever you have brought your judgemental values from.

Someday these silly Asians will llearn to think like you do and then they will feel horrible about their lives....NOT!

I like them just they way they are.

I would never consider retiring in the uptight judgemental west.

Thank you.

I am sorry, but you are talking nonsense.

Prostitution in Thailand carries just as much negativity as the West if not more when among normal people, it sure does NOT when among one of their own, ie villages full of hookers and their families where they do not know and do not want to know any better.

Take a hooker to a decent restaurant or social event or even to a private hospital and pay attention to how she will be spoken to and treated

I have to agree with Konying on this one.

Based on casual observations and candid discussions with Thais of how they perceive foreign men/Thai women couples, I believe the default assumption of most Thais is that the Thai woman met the foreign man through the sex industry. From what I have seen, the reason that Thais harbor this "default" perception is because in the vast majority of cases it is true. Only if there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary are these perceptions altered. In relationships which have stood the test of time, or where the man is perceived as a good provider and the woman is perceived as genuinely happy, these relationships are, of course, socially legitimized over time.

Newcomers, and those who cannot communicate in Thai can be forgiven for thinking that Thais are disinterested in whether or not someone is a prostitute. While it is true that Thais are very pragmatic about human sexuality and don't have the same Judeo-Christian judgmentalism as many Westerners, prostitution does carry an undeniable social stigma here. People may laugh and smile and welcome a foreign man when he visits the family home, but that doesn't mean tongues aren't clucking once you're out of earshot.

When I first started coming to Thailand years ago, one of the things which attracted me to the beer bars was the perception that the girls were so carefree that it was easy to feel like there was no exploitation or psychological damage being done. None of the angst and depressing spiritlessness so associated with prostitution in the West seemed to exist. None of the girls seemed to have any psychological hangups, come from broken homes, suffer from substance abuse, or come from abusive environments. While I have never been to a prostitute in the West, and doubt I ever will, I felt comfortable and guilt free in Thai beer and go-go bars.

However, after living in a small village for 10+ years and knowing the family backgrounds of some of the local girls who end up in the sex industry, I no longer see Thailand's sex industry through the same romanticized rose-colored glasses I once did.

I'm not moralizing here, just sharing social observations.

I'm glad you shared them.

Very interesting read.

Edited December 15, 2015 by MrTrip

[willyumiii]

You are stil judging Asia by your western values.

Prostitution, as you chose to call it is not the same as it is in the west and does not carry the negitive conitations it does wherever you have brought your judgemental values from.

Someday these silly Asians will llearn to think like you do and then they will feel horrible about their lives....NOT!

I like them just they way they are.

I would never consider retiring in the uptight judgemental west.

Thank you.

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

[nidieunimaitre]

If anyone on this forum was introduced to a new acquaintance, and was told in private that he has been a serial theif all his previous life, how many would adapt the attitude 'that was in the past' ?

Answer: NONE.

You could never put his past behind him, and you would always be wary of him.

Is this topic any different ?

Same goes - as far as I am concerned - if she was a bankster, insurance brooker, City Trader, second hand car dealer, real estate agent or politician.

Yet, I am hesitantly willing to accept the theoretical possibility that there are some honest people in those trades.

[MaeJoMTB]

I have been living in Thailand full time for around 15 years, whenever i speak English with a girl, its easy to spot if she learned it in the bar or school or had a foreign boyfriend.

While my Thai is far from fluent, it is also good enough to know when i speak Thai with a girl if she was educated or had no education at all.

Plenty of hookers in CM with university educations.

[MaeJoMTB]

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

Thank you.

How would you know?

She was around for over 30 years before you met her.

[ravip]

Read the OP

I have. You think it's educational?

Kind of, eh?

[eldragon]

Until she opens her mouth and then everyone around knows what and who she is and was, only the blind farang thinks her past is a secret

And isn't the opposite often times true for the Thai girl that thinks no one knows hubbie was a dirtball back home?

[benalibina]

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

Thank you.

How would you know?

She was around for over 30 years before you met her.

She told in him in all honesty....

[willyumiii]

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

Thank you.

How would you know?

She was around for over 30 years before you met her.

I know she was a virgin on our wedding night.

Even a chalenged person like yourself probably knows how to determine this.

I'm sure you have at least heard rumors about virgins.

Your stupid derogotary questions will be ignored in the future.

[konying]

Until she opens her mouth and then everyone around knows what and who she is and was, only the blind farang thinks her past is a secret

And isn't the opposite often times true for the Thai girl that thinks no one knows hubbie was a dirtball back home?

Absolutely, the only difference is not only she does not care, but in most cases he is few steps above the dirtbags she is use too, at least he works or worked or has earned money, instead of taking hers.

Though look through craiglist and plenty of lowlifes pimping their gf's and wives.in Thailand

[brewsterbudgen]

Nothing wrong with marrying a total slut. Honesty what could go wrong?

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

A lot! Maybe marry an ex-prostitute instead.

[konying]

Nothing wrong with marrying a total slut. Honesty what could go wrong?

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

A lot! Maybe marry an ex-prostitute instead.

Difference between a slut and a bitch?

Slut does you and everyone else.

Bitch does everyone else but you

[gerry123]

you can take the girl away from the job but you can't take the job away from the girl

put another record on

[pgrahmm]

Interesting thread aside from the barbed take down remarks....

We don't socialize alot - mostly within the family.....

However on the times that we meet friends in group such as a birthday or something that brings people together from different slices of life this is what I've noticed.....

If the tatt'd breasts don't give them away their demeanor will....They tend to be more "familiar" with men even with ones they not met before.....They tend to brag about "things"......They're more bawdy in their choice of dress and styles....They are not shy about leg placement when they sit - some in pants sit on chairs with legs spread open (almost a daring statement) not crossed & tucked like most Thais ....They either enjoy being the center of attention - or they mix talking with one or two other gals → but not the mainstream wives.....They'll help tidy up but again not mix with with the wives....They tend to pointedly talk about events and what they do when their husbands are out of the country working/away → broadcasting signals of some sort.....Their english is workable but unrefined.....They drink → well......They are "at home" and unshy? in the party like settings......

If you watch - the demure Thai wives are not in a comfort zone with them - polite in an oil and water way

Basically they behave similar but toned down to what you'd expect/see in a bar.....

What their relationships are like at home = anybodys guess.....Bar people are comfortable with their own - could be a match made in heaven → or just the opposite.....

If someone has BG/hooker history I don't think there's any/much

"proper" left → it's long lost.....

[MaeJoMTB]

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

Thank you.

How would you know?

She was around for over 30 years before you met her.

I know she was a virgin on our wedding night.

Even a chalenged person like yourself probably knows how to determine this.

I'm sure you have at least heard rumors about virgins.

Your stupid derogotary questions will be ignored in the future.

34 year old virgin meets 'hansum' 65 year old foreigner, falls madly in love, gets married and live happily ever after.

Happens every day!

[HooHaa]

one cant help but wonder about the point of this OP.

[konying]

one cant help but wonder about the point of this OP.

Perhaps to point out to selective few blind farangs that everyone knows about his darling, even if he took her away from the pole and covered all her tats of past sponsors with a piece of clothing

[mcfish]

Judging from some of the quotes disagreeing with my post, it seems I should have added that my 48 year old wife of 14 years has never stepped foot into a bar, has never consumed even a beer and was never a "prostitute".

Thank you.

How would you know?

She was around for over 30 years before you met her.

I know she was a virgin on our wedding night.

Even a chalenged person like yourself probably knows how to determine this.

I'm sure you have at least heard rumors about virgins.

Your stupid derogotary questions will be ignored in the future.

34 year old virgin meets 'hansum' 65 year old foreigner, falls madly in love, gets married and live happily ever after.

Happens every day!

There is an old trick that Arab women use to redo lost virginity, simply place a rag dipped in sheep blood under the bed and casually slip it under the sheets for a quick wipe only in this case it would be buffalo blood. I'm not saying this happened here but I'm just sayin it does happen

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[SoiBiker]

Interesting thread. It may be well-trodden ground, but some insightful posts have followed. Plus it's always fascinating to see the level of delusion some people have about the sex industry - I guess it makes participation easier if you believe what you want to believe.

[giddyup]

one cant help but wonder about the point of this OP.

Perhaps to point out to selective few blind farangs that everyone knows about his darling, even if he took her away from the pole and covered all her tats of past sponsors with a piece of clothing

You are coming across (once again) as a self-righteous prig. Who people marry or have relationships with is their business and I'm sure no falang believes that his tattoo adorned pole dancer just left a convent. Men are led by their noses to the slaughter world-wide, and Thailand is no different.

[Squeegee]

I have been living in Thailand full time for around 15 years, whenever i speak English with a girl, its easy to spot if she learned it in the bar or school or had a foreign boyfriend.

While my Thai is far from fluent, it is also good enough to know when i speak Thai with a girl if she was educated or had no education at all.

Plenty of hookers in CM with university educations.

Yes. Something else not yet covered is the fact that insights, valid as they are about perception of working girls in polite society, perception of the foreigner back in the village with an ex-prostitue partner and observations of 'bargirl English' etc. these are all overlooking that many Thai women sell their bodies at particular points in life rather than as a career.

A huge amount of university students will moonlight under the red light despite not considering themselves as being prostitutes. It's that time of the month when payment is due for the iPhone or shiny new Fino. They advertize on craigslist and work short time hotels.

Most foreigners only consider the sex industry as they see it, aimed at their custom, but rarely does the average foreigner in Thailand have much clue about what goes on in the wider industry that utterly dwarfs the foreigner scene.

In Isaan, for example, mamasans in short time hotels have long lists of local students they can call. These girls are getting an education and keeping up appearances. Later they will have a nice career and perhaps one day in the future will marry some foreigner who hasn't a clue of the full picture.

So, education and better English does not guarantee one's girl is whiter than white, nothing does, and it's the same for the lady with a tattoo: she just might not be what you think she is. Post #76 by pgrahmm describing a sex worker at a social event with mainstream people is very insightful not only for its detail, but because it is the overall picture that is one's best guide to a lady's background and not any one thing.

[Singharh]

There are more good girls in Isaan than in other places....just visit the small towns and you'll find them.If they already in Bangkok,Phuket they are most probably in the trade like a lot of girls from other provinces. Don't fool yourself,the bar girls come from all provinces.

[thaiduncankk]

There are more good girls in Isaan than in other places....just visit the small towns and you'll find them.If they already in Bangkok,Phuket they are most probably in the trade like a lot of girls from other provinces. Don't fool yourself,the bar girls come from all provinces.

How can you say there are more good girls in Isaan than in other places ?

And what exactly is your definition of a good girl ?

'Just visit the small towns and you'll find them'.

I assume you know the full history and past of all these 'good girls' to be able to class them as such ?

[konying]

one cant help but wonder about the point of this OP.

Perhaps to point out to selective few blind farangs that everyone knows about his darling, even if he took her away from the pole and covered all her tats of past sponsors with a piece of clothing

You are coming across (once again) as a self-righteous prig. Who people marry or have relationships with is their business and I'm sure no falang believes that his tattoo adorned pole dancer just left a convent. Men are led by their noses to the slaughter world-wide, and Thailand is no different.

Your short comings are just that, your short comings ( as usual) Edited December 16, 2015 by konying

[giddyup]

one cant help but wonder about the point of this OP.

Perhaps to point out to selective few blind farangs that everyone knows about his darling, even if he took her away from the pole and covered all her tats of past sponsors with a piece of clothing

You are coming across (once again) as a self-righteous prig. Who people marry or have relationships with is their business and I'm sure no falang believes that his tattoo adorned pole dancer just left a convent. Men are led by their noses to the slaughter world-wide, and Thailand is no different.

Your short comings are just that, your short comings ( as usual)

Rednecks and pitbulls, go hand in hand.

[fletchsmile]

Dear OP

Congratulations on noticing this phenomena. Will there be a sequel to point out other phenomena you notice during your second month in Thailand? or perhaps even some thoughts and reflections?

When I read your post I thought to myself

"...and?"

[MaeJoMTB]

Interesting thread. It may be well-trodden ground, but some insightful posts have followed. Plus it's always fascinating to see the level of delusion some people have about the sex industry - I guess it makes participation easier if you believe what you want to believe.

It makes Thailand easier if you believe what you want to believe.

[eldragon]

Until she opens her mouth and then everyone around knows what and who she is and was, only the blind farang thinks her past is a secret

And isn't the opposite often times true for the Thai girl that thinks no one knows hubbie was a dirtball back home?

Absolutely, the only difference is not only she does not care, but in most cases he is few steps above the dirtbags she is use too, at least he works or worked or has earned money, instead of taking hers.

Though look through craiglist and plenty of lowlifes pimping their gf's and wives.in Thailand

Just kidding, kinda. I'm sure there's not that many classy Thai girls dating dirtballs. They're probably more prone to fall for the oily casanova types that put on a pretty good act, but blow their cover in the presence of other foreigners. Same guys seem to charm their way into jobs they're not qualified for bc the Thais didn't bother to check their references. A few years ago a couple Thai coworkers told me they can ID a bar girl as soon as she starts talking, but foreigners that date em might never find em out. Meanwhile, the foreigner they just hired forged all his documents, couldn't spell to save his life, and it seemed evident to all the other foreigners that the guy probably had an extensive criminal history back home.