What Do Farangs Expect From A Thai Girl?

[Grover]

Because of the traditional Thai society, some farangs believe (rightly or wrongly) that Thai women take care of the man better (female nurturing ability). In thai language it is called "ow jai geng".

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(BambinA @ 2006-12-25 21:02:50)

mostly asian women will treat you like king

In this context, one would do well to remember that Thailand is a constitutional monarchy, in so much as the king does not decide what is to be done.

Indeed.

[Little Black Duck]

Simply just a little bit of appreciation for the life style you give them...

if your expectations are limited to this then they are nothing but the appreciation you have for a good meal for which you pay in a good restaurant.

Not true, just seems to me anything you do is not good enough, when a simple thank you is all one asks and you get criticism for what you've just done ??

i am happily married since 27 years, 1 month and 15 days to an asian lady (not thai) who grew up with amenities i could only dream of when i was young. and YES i can provide for us since many years a quite luxurious life style but it never crossed my mind to ask for appreciation in return.

I think you have been lucky and as you said your wife is not Thai..Perhaps she appreciates you and shows it in other ways..

Edited December 26, 2006 by Little Black Duck

[lingyai]

What I expect from a Thai girl is love & affection without the crap that is ingrained in American women from the day of their birth. I know, it's a generalization & YMMV. I don't want a doormat, but I do enjoy their less complicated view of life.

That's my opinion, we welcome yours.

What crap is ingrained in American women from birth?

[a2396]

it's the first time i'v heard some one else mention how prudish Thai girls really are, i thought i'd just got un lucky in that respect, my wife still insists on lights out!!

There is absolutely no way that she would be my wife if she insisted on the lights being off!

<deleted>?

Some of this seems to depend on age here. One lady I know, who is 36, refuses any sex in daytime. She has the mind of a 60+ old maid Victorian Auntie. Others I have known, who are under 25, seem to be more "liberated" and flexible in thier attitude.

[snoophound]

Some of the married falangs have been very circumspect.

I guess from personal experience and observation of quite a large extended community of Couples here in Sydney.

1.Depends on the age group,younger guys are much more practical and are fairly even handed falang or asian,some have got the asian bug and wont go back.

2.Older guys are looking for company,younger and more happy than their ex wives.

I guess the fun of Thai gals is their delightful "tingtongness" not really a dull moment.

Reality you prob have to work harder but if it works its well worth it.

If its not working cut and run

it's the first time i'v heard some one else mention how prudish Thai girls really are, i thought i'd just got un lucky in that respect, my wife still insists on lights out!!

There is absolutely no way that she would be my wife if she insisted on the lights being off!

<deleted>?

Some of this seems to depend on age here. One lady I know, who is 36, refuses any sex in daytime. She has the mind of a 60+ old maid Victorian Auntie. Others I have known, who are under 25, seem to be more "liberated" and flexible in thier attitude.

[Ga-gai]

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?ac...f=2&t=87985

Well...

Thai girl? The question should be as: -What do you expect from a Woman?

Woman:

1. Love me, as I love her.

2. Respect me, as I respect her.

2. Loyal to our relation. If she doesn’t love me anymore, I want her to bail out instead of cheating on me.

3. Find pleasure in the person I really am, as I would find in her.

4. Come from a stable childhood, where she is a secure person that knows what she really wants in her life.

5. Don't expect things or behavior from me that she cannot deliver herself.

In Thailand, there are curtain issues:

For many Thai women... Marry someone because of LOVE, is a luxury that many just can't afford.

The whole family has big expectations on their daughter, in form of monthly economical support for the rest of the family. There are many cases where the girl from a poor family is forced to get out there and find money somehow(!), while her brothers and the rest of the family are just laying on the floor and drinking booze. The boys are often totally spoiled and don't have to bother about anything, meanwhile there are huge expectations on the poor little sister that she must serve the rest of the family in order to be "loved". I've noticed that it is actually the mother that is spoiling her sons, raising them to become a man that she never would like to marry herself.

As if that wasn't enough, she probably already got a kid with a jerk (spoiled by his mother in turn) that just left after she went pregnant. No intention of taking responsibly, as his mother didn't teach him that. Using condoms, is not what a Thai male just do. He wants it for "real", all the way. The schools are also not teaching the kids properly what could happen when people is having sex. The girl just did not know what happened to her stomach, after a while.

So what to do then? Working on factory for 4500 Baht a month, supporting the whole family and her kid? No... Impossible! Many of them end up in karaoke’s or the bars at the tourist areas, where farangs pay half a monthly salary for just one night. Hey! Not bad! (I would probably do the same in this situation)

One day... One of her farang "customers" falls in love with her (hard to not, with these cute girls), asking her to marry him. (Strange, marrying a hooker from the street. Would not just happen in his country) Often with a promise on taking her abroad. She give it some thoughts. This farang, with pockets loaded with money, wants to take her to live in his country... How great! Finally she don't have to worry about raising money for her family. This man got emptyless money pockets! Lets go!

-Do I love him? What is love? (Love is what you get from your family, when you take care of those!) This man seemed nice... Why not? He's not young, not top good looking... (Hey! If you didn't know it... Thai women can actually tell good look from bad, even if they don't show it!) But... He is nice! He says that he loves me, which is good. Then he will take care of me. I will be nice to him too!

She comes abroad and moves in with this guy, only to find that he doesn't have the economy that he looked like having back in Pattaya. He must pay rent or loans, bills and food. In many cases he don't even have money to give her, for sending to her family. He didn't know that he actually is married to her family as well. And people in the family do help each other. Blood is thicker than water! Especially regarding being the sister in the family. He only thought he had found that cute or sexy girl in his dreams, to start a normal relationship with. Just like he would do with a woman in his country. He didn't know anything about culture and stuff. It seemed to work fine back in Pattaya, having fun in the daytime and great sex in the night. Culture?

After a while, the problems arise. She can't send money to her family. The family starts calling her a "farang-prostitute" and they threatens to kick her out of the family, if she don't help them economically. Everyone in the village knows that their daughter is married to a farang and that should have significant impact on the family’s economic situation. All while the rest of the family doesn't bother to do a thing even to get a job or other way of income. One of her brothers also want her to buy a pickup truck for him (so he looks good while chasing local girls, and to transport all the bottles of Beer Chang).

Respect...? She was the one who was working in the bar, not him. Her face is already gone, by thai standards. She feels solely dependent on his good will, which will create a beggars situation out of her. She really doesn’t know why a man could respect a woman like that. Maybe that is why he don't give money to her, to send to her family?

The woman is starting to lose her mind. She doesn’t know what to do. Everyone is treating her bad, including her family. Her farang husband is calling her bad things, as he suspects the she only loves his money. She's about to loose her sanity, because she doesn’t know what to do. In her culture, people don't talk about deeper feelings or problems. Things just happen as they are. Today is today. Yesterday was yesterday.

She's about to lose it...

So...

What's it all about? Understanding! A woman is a woman, whatever country she comes from. Some cultures put a heavy load on their women, others don't. As a man would expect his woman to love and respect him, he would on the other hand respect her and her cultural situation as well. Just because both is having good sex, it doesn't mean that you fully understand each other. Don't make a women from a cultural country believe that you have more money that you got, just in order to “catch” her. If she's not very fixated about the money situation herself, you can be ###### sure that her family is. Make no mistake about that! Either way, it puts a big strain on the relation. If everyone puts their cards on the table from the beginning, the chance of getting forever happily married...is greater!

But that goes for any woman, from any country. If she didn't fall in love with you right from the beginning, she may do that after a while. (Just like us men) But that depends on understanding and respect. Taking care of a woman’s family, is another way of earning respect. It will cost some, but many times it will pay off. She feels that you respect her, and she will respect you back. Her family got the respect among the other villagers as well.

And...

Women are not "made" from one single factory. Everyone is different, like we men are different as hel_l. Some women are good, some bad. Some are thieves. Some are angels. And there are lots of them in between. Even if we wouldn't think that cute face could be bad…

It still amazes me how some men are more careful when buying a used car, than choosing a wife for life.

[meadish_sweetball]

Everyone is different.

At least something we agree on. Your essay above strikes me as quite simplistic.

Most farang men with Thai wives I know did not marry prostitutes from Pattaya, and of those that did, many have far more harmonic lives than your example makes out.

[SanukJoe]

Everyone is different.

At least something we agree on. Your essay above strikes me as quite simplistic.

Most farang men with Thai wives I know did not marry prostitutes from Pattaya, and of those that did, many have far more harmonic lives than your example makes out.

Simplistic and narrow minded it is, I totally agree.

The story is A possibillity, not the average story of farang/thai woman relationship. It might happen to farangs who think after 2 weeks holiday that they should marry the woman they met. More sensible guys take the time to get to know the woman they met better, come back, come back again and visit her family. That's how relationships are build up, slowly but steady.

As for daughters work for family. My wife's parents are hard working farmers who are able to earn enough to live from. They have 4 children, all married, all work and earn their own money. Yes, if something has to be renewed in the parents house all the children contribute. That is not daughters working and sons doing nothing.....

Joe

[OlRedEyes]

What I expect from a Thai girl is love & affection without the crap that is ingrained in American women from the day of their birth. I know, it's a generalization & YMMV. I don't want a doormat, but I do enjoy their less complicated view of life.

That's my opinion, we welcome yours.

What crap is ingrained in American women from birth?

Maybe the biggest crap ingrained is the denial that there is any crap ingrained.....

it's the first time i'v heard some one else mention how prudish Thai girls really are, i thought i'd just got un lucky in that respect, my wife still insists on lights out!!

There is absolutely no way that she would be my wife if she insisted on the lights being off!

<deleted>?

Some of this seems to depend on age here. One lady I know, who is 36, refuses any sex in daytime. She has the mind of a 60+ old maid Victorian Auntie. Others I have known, who are under 25, seem to be more "liberated" and flexible in thier attitude.

My wife is late thirties, and she comes from a conservative background. In Thai terms that is REAL conservative. But she sure as h_ell ain't got 'the mind of a 60+ old maid Victorian Auntie'. No Sir

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?ac...f=2&t=87985

Well...

Thai girl? The question should be as: -What do you expect from a Woman?

<snip excellent long post>

It still amazes me how some men are more careful when buying a used car, than choosing a wife for life.

Outstanding post as far as most Thai/Farang relationships go. I say most. The really lucky ones get better than that, but as for the majority an understanding of her starting point, and the pressures placed on her would seriously improve the relationship.

Whether the girl was a prostitute or not I don't think is the issue btw.

Edited December 26, 2006 by OlRedEyes

[gburns57au]

Everyone is different.

At least something we agree on. Your essay above strikes me as quite simplistic.

Most farang men with Thai wives I know did not marry prostitutes from Pattaya, and of those that did, many have far more harmonic lives than your example makes out.

Some good points though,

[Ga-gai]

Everyone is different.

At least something we agree on. Your essay above strikes me as quite simplistic.

Most farang men with Thai wives I know did not marry prostitutes from Pattaya, and of those that did, many have far more harmonic lives than your example makes out.

Simplistic and narrow minded it is, I totally agree.

The story is A possibillity, not the average story of farang/thai woman relationship. It might happen to farangs who think after 2 weeks holiday that they should marry the woman they met. More sensible guys take the time to get to know the woman they met better, come back, come back again and visit her family. That's how relationships are build up, slowly but steady.

As for daughters work for family. My wife's parents are hard working farmers who are able to earn enough to live from. They have 4 children, all married, all work and earn their own money. Yes, if something has to be renewed in the parents house all the children contribute. That is not daughters working and sons doing nothing.....

Joe

Sorry for the inconvenience...

It was just ONE example on how life can be. I'm sure that you fine guys have done things in another and better way. But what I just describred, was an real life example that sadly repeats itself far to often. Fastfood marriage... It is hard for someone that doesn't live in this country for a longer period of time, to meet one of the more normal life ladies. Where should he go? Far to many westerners ends up in the bar-streets, where the thai women are just as easy going as farang women on a saturday night at the local nightclub or pub. Few realize that this is not how a thai woman really acts or behave. You just can't have a one night stand or sex on the first date, with a respectable woman here.

As I'm one of the few farangs that actually lives around my area here, I sometimes have to help with translation to many both younger and middleaged women here, that one way or another have relationsship with foreigners. Many are happy, some are not. I do see a lot and I sometimes place thoughts on all the desperate men that just do anything to bring a woman abroad.

The message in my posting, was about how to live the life together in the best way. How to understand and respect each other, coming from different cultures. So it was just an EXAMPLE. Was not aimed to make anyone feel unfomfortable. If anyone would like to describe their own relation and how you got together, please make a posting!

Sincerely,

[SanukJoe]

Sorry for the inconvenience...

It was just ONE example on how life can be. I'm sure that you fine guys have done things in another and better way. But what I just describred, was an real life example that sadly repeats itself far to often. Fastfood marriage... It is hard for someone that doesn't live in this country for a longer period of time, to meet one of the more normal life ladies. Where should he go? Far to many westerners ends up in the bar-streets, where the thai women are just as easy going as farang women on a saturday night at the local nightclub or pub. Few realize that this is not how a thai woman really acts or behave. You just can't have a one night stand or sex on the first date, with a respectable woman here.

As I'm one of the few farangs that actually lives around my area here, I sometimes have to help with translation to many both younger and middleaged women here, that one way or another have relationsship with foreigners. Many are happy, some are not. I do see a lot and I sometimes place thoughts on all the desperate men that just do anything to bring a woman abroad.

The message in my posting, was about how to live the life together in the best way. How to understand and respect each other, coming from different cultures. So it was just an EXAMPLE. Was not aimed to make anyone feel unfomfortable. If anyone would like to describe their own relation and how you got together, please make a posting!

Sincerely,

No problem Ga-Gai, we're here to exchange opinions and experiences. I just found your story too much "tunneled vision" as it does not represent the serious relationships that are made between thai women and farang men. Your story is about dumbheads who think to take a thai woman home as a souvenir. Thai women are neither toys nor playstations, they are human beings (in a very nice way) and deserve to be treated accordingly, even the bar girls.

How to meet "normal" thai women? Stay in "normal" Thailand and forget sex tourism. Go to clubs, discos, concerts, karaoke and try to find out where the local thai women gather. Visit one of the various festivals, go on line on chat or dating sites, chat with them and then meet. If you fell in love with the outlook and inner beauty of thai women, start doing homework and get serious, like you would do with any woman in your home country. You don't marry a woman after meeting 2 weeks, not even if sex is involved. That is my personal opinion.

Another personal opinion is: leave thai women in Thailand! Many of them are very unhappy in farang land as they left their family and country. Thai women are best in their own country, so come to LOS and enjoy paradise...

[Dupont]

What I expect from a Thai girl is love & affection without the crap that is ingrained in American women from the day of their birth. I know, it's a generalization & YMMV. I don't want a doormat, but I do enjoy their less complicated view of life.

That's my opinion, we welcome yours.

What crap is ingrained in American women from birth?

That they can become overweight, boring, bossy and overbearing and still compete with Thai women for men!

I've had 7 years of fun, laughs, love, great kids, great in-laws. Little stress, few arguments, no listening to her endlessly drone on about how great she is at work and how stupid everybody else is.

I expect great things and get perfection - pla ra eating in bed aside!

[SanukJoe]

What I expect from a Thai girl is love & affection without the crap that is ingrained in American women from the day of their birth. I know, it's a generalization & YMMV. I don't want a doormat, but I do enjoy their less complicated view of life.

That's my opinion, we welcome yours.

What crap is ingrained in American women from birth?

That they can become overweight, boring, bossy and overbearing and still compete with Thai women for men!

I've had 7 years of fun, laughs, love, great kids, great in-laws. Little stress, few arguments, no listening to her endlessly drone on about how great she is at work and how stupid everybody else is.

I expect great things and get perfection - pla ra eating in bed aside!

Cheers! Today is the first day of the rest of your life, enjoy it!

[meadish_sweetball]

Everyone is different.

At least something we agree on. Your essay above strikes me as quite simplistic.

Most farang men with Thai wives I know did not marry prostitutes from Pattaya, and of those that did, many have far more harmonic lives than your example makes out.

Simplistic and narrow minded it is, I totally agree.

The story is A possibillity, not the average story of farang/thai woman relationship. It might happen to farangs who think after 2 weeks holiday that they should marry the woman they met. More sensible guys take the time to get to know the woman they met better, come back, come back again and visit her family. That's how relationships are build up, slowly but steady.

As for daughters work for family. My wife's parents are hard working farmers who are able to earn enough to live from. They have 4 children, all married, all work and earn their own money. Yes, if something has to be renewed in the parents house all the children contribute. That is not daughters working and sons doing nothing.....

Joe

Sorry for the inconvenience...

It was just ONE example on how life can be. I'm sure that you fine guys have done things in another and better way. But what I just describred, was an real life example that sadly repeats itself far to often. Fastfood marriage... It is hard for someone that doesn't live in this country for a longer period of time, to meet one of the more normal life ladies. Where should he go? Far to many westerners ends up in the bar-streets, where the thai women are just as easy going as farang women on a saturday night at the local nightclub or pub. Few realize that this is not how a thai woman really acts or behave. You just can't have a one night stand or sex on the first date, with a respectable woman here.

As I'm one of the few farangs that actually lives around my area here, I sometimes have to help with translation to many both younger and middleaged women here, that one way or another have relationsship with foreigners. Many are happy, some are not. I do see a lot and I sometimes place thoughts on all the desperate men that just do anything to bring a woman abroad.

The message in my posting, was about how to live the life together in the best way. How to understand and respect each other, coming from different cultures. So it was just an EXAMPLE. Was not aimed to make anyone feel unfomfortable. If anyone would like to describe their own relation and how you got together, please make a posting!

Sincerely,

Thanks for the clarification. As an example I agree it has some very good points, too.

[Ga-gai]

Another personal opinion is: leave thai women in Thailand! Many of them are very unhappy in farang land as they left their family and country. Thai women are best in their own country, so come to LOS and enjoy paradise...

That is true, of course!

But everyone is not able to live in Thailand. Most of the guys do have to work in their homecountry.

I've been maried for 10 years now with my thai wife. She was 22 and I just got 30. We stayed 4 years in my own country and later moved to Thailand. Have been living here in LOS för 6 years now. Never regret that decision. Love this country and the thai people. Strange at it may seem... My wife wasn't 100% sure if she wanted to get back to Thailand. She found herself enjoying my countery a lot. We had some plans to move to Thailand when we got older, but was suddenly changed after I managed to sell my own company just before the big IT-crash. So I was lycky on that part. It was a decision of either stay in my country and try to find another business opportunity, or just take the money and go to Thailand before they were spent and gone.

But for most guys... Living in Thailand is not a reality until you get retired. Or being lucky to have a seat here, at a multinational company from your country. So that is somewhat a difficult situation.

And dating websites? I'm not sure about that...

In order to meet a nice respectable thai lady, you must stay in Thailand for att least 1 year or so. Her family would like to know you well, before you're even allowed to hold her hand in public. Very hard to just be boyfriend/girlfriend with someone here, due to respect for her family. You must also have a respectable job or income. It's all about keeping her family's face. Can't just hang around like a hippie either...!

Edited December 26, 2006 by Ga-gai

[Ga-gai]

On the contrary, I would like to place the following question:

-What Do Thai Girls Expect From A Farang?

If there's any thai ladies here, I would like you to share your thoughts with the rest of us!

[Bruce1]

Thai girls are just like other women in many ways I would think, so respect and trust and fun would be right up there.

The Thai girls I know who have good jobs are already supporting their parents in some way or other themselves, its a standard responsibility in a society without general old age pensions, so a farang would have to be pretty hard hearted to object to that, or to refuse to help out himself at times. After all, wouldn't we help our own parents if they were in the same situation? Lazy brothers who just want to lie around and drink are another matter altogether, in any country, and deserve a good kick up the bum, not a handout IMO.

I too would be interested to know what Thai women expect of their farang men?

[teacup]

On the contrary, I would like to place the following question:

-What Do Thai Girls Expect From A Farang?

If there's any thai ladies here, I would like you to share your thoughts with the rest of us!

OK I will make it short….

Not too ugly - bald head OK

Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

Doesn’t expect sex on the first date

Doesn’t take you to a bar on the first date

Doesn’t mind us bringing along the wagon full of our jolly friends, we’re shy you know

Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking, we like to practice our English you know

Doesn’t ask us to go for a romantic walk along the beach during a sunny day, we like our skin white

Doesn’t complain about Thailand all the times, cause I wouldn’t understand why you want to be here in the first place

Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

Usually wears shirt that covers stomach

Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down

Shaves on most weekends

Doesn't borrow money too often

Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times

Remembers my name on occasion

Doesn’t boast about your various naughty adventures in Pattaya

Doesn't scare small children

Doesn’t boast about you have this and that, we heard them all before

Doesn’t think you’re a god sent gift to us thai women!

And Does aware when you married us, you are married to our whole family too and you vote counts only once during family meeting!

Common seriously, what do you think a thai girl wants. Women are women regardless of their race.

We all just want someone who will take care of us emotionally and somewhat financially. Being “Financially Successful” is just an added bonus but not required and it’s not the number one requirement. What I’m looking for…..first is Honesty, second is honestly, and third is honesty, sense of humor, politeness, drives, and goals in life. Relationship & marriage are not about 50/50, but it’s about giving each other 100% of yourself.

[turnpike]

Doesn’t complain about Thailand all the times, cause I wouldn’t understand why you want to be here in the first place

all valid points, but i like this one the best.

so many people piss and moan about thailand, on this forum and everywhere.

get a bit sick of it myself sometimes....

[a2396]

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?ac...f=2&t=87985

Well...

Thai girl? The question should be as: -What do you expect from a Woman?

Woman:

1. Love me, as I love her.

2. Respect me, as I respect her.

2. Loyal to our relation. If she doesn’t love me anymore, I want her to bail out instead of cheating on me.

3. Find pleasure in the person I really am, as I would find in her.

4. Come from a stable childhood, where she is a secure person that knows what she really wants in her life.

5. Don't expect things or behavior from me that she cannot deliver herself.

In Thailand, there are curtain issues:

For many Thai women... Marry someone because of LOVE, is a luxury that many just can't afford.

The whole family has big expectations on their daughter, in form of monthly economical support for the rest of the family. There are many cases where the girl from a poor family is forced to get out there and find money somehow(!), while her brothers and the rest of the family are just laying on the floor and drinking booze. The boys are often totally spoiled and don't have to bother about anything, meanwhile there are huge expectations on the poor little sister that she must serve the rest of the family in order to be "loved". I've noticed that it is actually the mother that is spoiling her sons, raising them to become a man that she never would like to marry herself.

As if that wasn't enough, she probably already got a kid with a jerk (spoiled by his mother in turn) that just left after she went pregnant. No intention of taking responsibly, as his mother didn't teach him that. Using condoms, is not what a Thai male just do. He wants it for "real", all the way. The schools are also not teaching the kids properly what could happen when people is having sex. The girl just did not know what happened to her stomach, after a while.

So what to do then? Working on factory for 4500 Baht a month, supporting the whole family and her kid? No... Impossible! Many of them end up in karaoke’s or the bars at the tourist areas, where farangs pay half a monthly salary for just one night. Hey! Not bad! (I would probably do the same in this situation)

One day... One of her farang "customers" falls in love with her (hard to not, with these cute girls), asking her to marry him. (Strange, marrying a hooker from the street. Would not just happen in his country) Often with a promise on taking her abroad. She give it some thoughts. This farang, with pockets loaded with money, wants to take her to live in his country... How great! Finally she don't have to worry about raising money for her family. This man got emptyless money pockets! Lets go!

-Do I love him? What is love? (Love is what you get from your family, when you take care of those!) This man seemed nice... Why not? He's not young, not top good looking... (Hey! If you didn't know it... Thai women can actually tell good look from bad, even if they don't show it!) But... He is nice! He says that he loves me, which is good. Then he will take care of me. I will be nice to him too!

She comes abroad and moves in with this guy, only to find that he doesn't have the economy that he looked like having back in Pattaya. He must pay rent or loans, bills and food. In many cases he don't even have money to give her, for sending to her family. He didn't know that he actually is married to her family as well. And people in the family do help each other. Blood is thicker than water! Especially regarding being the sister in the family. He only thought he had found that cute or sexy girl in his dreams, to start a normal relationship with. Just like he would do with a woman in his country. He didn't know anything about culture and stuff. It seemed to work fine back in Pattaya, having fun in the daytime and great sex in the night. Culture?

After a while, the problems arise. She can't send money to her family. The family starts calling her a "farang-prostitute" and they threatens to kick her out of the family, if she don't help them economically. Everyone in the village knows that their daughter is married to a farang and that should have significant impact on the family’s economic situation. All while the rest of the family doesn't bother to do a thing even to get a job or other way of income. One of her brothers also want her to buy a pickup truck for him (so he looks good while chasing local girls, and to transport all the bottles of Beer Chang).

Respect...? She was the one who was working in the bar, not him. Her face is already gone, by thai standards. She feels solely dependent on his good will, which will create a beggars situation out of her. She really doesn’t know why a man could respect a woman like that. Maybe that is why he don't give money to her, to send to her family?

The woman is starting to lose her mind. She doesn’t know what to do. Everyone is treating her bad, including her family. Her farang husband is calling her bad things, as he suspects the she only loves his money. She's about to loose her sanity, because she doesn’t know what to do. In her culture, people don't talk about deeper feelings or problems. Things just happen as they are. Today is today. Yesterday was yesterday.

She's about to lose it...

So...

What's it all about? Understanding! A woman is a woman, whatever country she comes from. Some cultures put a heavy load on their women, others don't. As a man would expect his woman to love and respect him, he would on the other hand respect her and her cultural situation as well. Just because both is having good sex, it doesn't mean that you fully understand each other. Don't make a women from a cultural country believe that you have more money that you got, just in order to “catch” her. If she's not very fixated about the money situation herself, you can be ###### sure that her family is. Make no mistake about that! Either way, it puts a big strain on the relation. If everyone puts their cards on the table from the beginning, the chance of getting forever happily married...is greater!

But that goes for any woman, from any country. If she didn't fall in love with you right from the beginning, she may do that after a while. (Just like us men) But that depends on understanding and respect. Taking care of a woman’s family, is another way of earning respect. It will cost some, but many times it will pay off. She feels that you respect her, and she will respect you back. Her family got the respect among the other villagers as well.

And...

Women are not "made" from one single factory. Everyone is different, like we men are different as hel_l. Some women are good, some bad. Some are thieves. Some are angels. And there are lots of them in between. Even if we wouldn't think that cute face could be bad…

It still amazes me how some men are more careful when buying a used car, than choosing a wife for life.

Excellent Post. My advice is not to take the lady out of Thailand, although this is often not possible. If she is well educated & sophisticated, maybe OK, but otherwise many potential problems.

[Donz]

Expect what you would any other girl.

[Martin]

It is easier said than done, but it is best not to have expectations.

If you don't expect, you don't get disappointments, or misunderstandings, so much.

Lucky are they who are born 'happy go lucky' and can start a relationship and see what each finds in the other and take it (or cease it) from there.

I agree with those who say that, if you want the relationship to thrive, avoid moaning about what you find annoying in Thailand. In our case, my wife is critical enough for both of us! Sometimes I even find myself defending Thailand to her.

Generally, I am told, a man hopes (consciously, and/or sub-consciously and/or unconsciously) to find in their wife the best attributes of his mother. And a woman the same re her father.

My late wife died after we had been married nearly forty years, and now after nearly a decade married to Thong, I see that both of them had done just that---and that I have done it twice.

[In the Rai!]

I wanted exactly what I would if she was western or from anywhere for that matter.

I wanted a best friend. (a soul mate so to speak)

If you are planning on spending the rest of your life with this person than you do really have to know and enjoy this person.

I do agree with a few of the points previoisly posted about rushing into marrage. Well thats completely up to them but for me I would recommend that getting to know someone is the most important and most fun part of the relationship. Take your time and choose wisely.

Just my 2 cents.

[wolfmanjack]

I could never understand. Maybe the Donz can help out here.

Woman take a while to get to know you and see what you're about. Then they turn around and say I like you because of who you are and what you do, then when the going gets hot and heavy they try and change you. Why is that?

Hey... I've dated a man who wanted to change me! How's that?

You think only women want to change men? In this modern era... anybody can want to change the other!

On the subject of change, a well known one and well, true.

Women marry men with the hope they will change and they don't.

Men marry women with the hope they won't change and they do.

This is the most accurate statement I have ever seen. My wife certainly changed and not just a little bit either.