Unhappy in Bangkok - relationship issues - need a change

[uthaithanirules]

I'm cool with the occasional bar girl, don't really lack confidence with those types, I just feel like they usually ask a high price for bad service in Bangkok so I don't indulge much. I'm sure it varies.

Yeah see, you are full of it.

You can sit chat with one of those girls over no more than a drink or two without having to automatically think about the cost of later services.

Theres no use sitting across the table with your "normal" thai girl date, convincing yourself you are after intellectual stimulation and common interest....if every time a hotter girl walks past, your head turns and you eyes are glued. Any girl can sniff that BS out in a matter of milliseconds

You dont lack confidence with those type of girls?, you are the worst person to be the judge of that.

Being truly honest with yourself is the first step

[GF47]

I'm cool with the occasional bar girl, don't really lack confidence with those types, I just feel like they usually ask a high price for bad service in Bangkok so I don't indulge much. I'm sure it varies.

Yeah see, you are full of it.

You can sit chat with one of those girls over no more than a drink or two without having to automatically think about the cost of later services.

Theres no use sitting across the table with your "normal" thai girl date, convincing yourself you are after intellectual stimulation and common interest....if every time a hotter girl walks past, your head turns and you eyes are glued. Any girl can sniff that BS out in a matter of milliseconds

You dont lack confidence with those type of girls?, you are the worst person to be the judge of that.

Being truly honest with yourself is the first step

Hmm ok but I haven't really liked sitting and drinking with them either, at least in Bangkok, the times I've done it. Maybe just haven't found right place - the Nana vibe is "Buy me a dink and my friend a drink and also 1 for the waitress serving the drinks and we're going to ask for new rounds every 5 minutes and then pout and make you feel bad if you don't" while the mamasan verbally abuses them right in front of me. I guess there are some places outside of there that might be a little more chill.

As for my head swiveling around every time a hotter girl walks by I'm not really sure where you're getting that from. I see hot women every time I leave the condo it's not really something that distracts me.

[uthaithanirules]

As for my head swiveling around every time a hotter girl walks by I'm not really sure where you're getting that from. I see hot women every time I leave the condo it's not really something that distracts me.

Well, if someone could video you, without your knowledge, whilst you are on that date with the regular girl, at say a cafe on a busy street, where lots of pretty girls walk by....youd see what I mean.

Youve been doing it for so long, you dont even realise you are doing it.

You think anyone really believes you dont look.

As I said, you are the last person to be truthful to yourself about that

[lamyai3]

Sounds like you'd be happiest dating someone with similar interests, which is not at all difficult in a city the size of bkk. Rather than using the general dating sites, check out events or venues connected with your areas of interest. Your confidence will be elevated right away as you'd be on home turf. There's a wealth of creativity here, and countless art/photography/film students etc who'd probably be delighted to date a foreigner with that sort of background.

[KC 71]

If you dont look too hard - you will find !

It took me 3 broken hearts before i met my soulmate .

[tonray]

If you dont look too hard - you will find !

It took me 3 broken hearts before i met my soulmate .

You cad !

[KC 71]

If you dont look too hard - you will find !

It took me 3 broken hearts before i met my soulmate .

You cad !

what does that mean ?

[KC 71]

Thats ok because the isaan girlfriends had 1 heart , but more rooms than a hotel !

[KC 71]

Be very careful how you tread

[tonray]

If you dont look too hard - you will find !

It took me 3 broken hearts before i met my soulmate .

You cad !

what does that mean ?

Joke about you 'leaving a trail of broken hearts'...why is everyone on this forum so serious ?

[KC 71]

You cad ! Im not serious - just didnt understand that - im happily married now

[KC 71]

My heart was broken not theirs

[KC 71]

Be careful with isaan ladies i meant

[FarangryBirds]

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult. They will follow you. Be discreet and take care of them. You can have more action than you can imagine. But it all starts with making the first move and being in charge.

2. Follow on to point 1 is that Thai women are one way in public but very often they are completely different once the door is closed and you are alone. I mean sex of course. This can go both ways. I have known so many wild ones, tons of fun and surprises, and more than a few disappointments and a couple that left me scratching my head wondering...

3. To clarify... coming from a western background I was always looking for consensual clarity. Once I started with the assumption that if I got their number they wanted me to call. And if we met then they wanted to see me. If we were alone then they wanted to be alone. Keep going with that. If you ask for permission it is confusing for them. If they want you to stop they will tell you so. It will be more than "No" which does not mean stop. It usually means "don't stop"!

4. I used to play games ... like taking the skytrain home ... I would play the pick up game. Just a little challenge I liked to undertake to pass the time. More than once I met a girl who left the train with me and was in bed in hours.

5. There are a few classifications of girls who I found to be a waste of time or massive headaches and not worth it. The first are girls who work in the beauty sections selling cosmetics in department stores. (Not katoeys). Overall the young ones who are good looking tend to be a lot like another group - prettys or girls who do some kind of modeling or selling or promoting of products. These are high maintenance and often a pain in the ass.

The key all starts when you realize you have to take what you want, not ask for it.

Do you speak any Thai?

I'm thinking any kind of conversation on the BTS (or MRT) would be hard otherwise.

[Minnehaha]

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult. They will follow you. Be discreet and take care of them. You can have more action than you can imagine. But it all starts with making the first move and being in charge.

2. Follow on to point 1 is that Thai women are one way in public but very often they are completely different once the door is closed and you are alone. I mean sex of course. This can go both ways. I have known so many wild ones, tons of fun and surprises, and more than a few disappointments and a couple that left me scratching my head wondering...

3. To clarify... coming from a western background I was always looking for consensual clarity. Once I started with the assumption that if I got their number they wanted me to call. And if we met then they wanted to see me. If we were alone then they wanted to be alone. Keep going with that. If you ask for permission it is confusing for them. If they want you to stop they will tell you so. It will be more than "No" which does not mean stop. It usually means "don't stop"!

4. I used to play games ... like taking the skytrain home ... I would play the pick up game. Just a little challenge I liked to undertake to pass the time. More than once I met a girl who left the train with me and was in bed in hours.

5. There are a few classifications of girls who I found to be a waste of time or massive headaches and not worth it. The first are girls who work in the beauty sections selling cosmetics in department stores. (Not katoeys). Overall the young ones who are good looking tend to be a lot like another group - prettys or girls who do some kind of modeling or selling or promoting of products. These are high maintenance and often a pain in the ass.

The key all starts when you realize you have to take what you want, not ask for it.

Do you speak any Thai?

I'm thinking any kind of conversation on the BTS (or MRT) would be hard otherwise.

No, I speak Swahili.

Is that a serious question?

If so, then ... yes, I do.

But nowadays you can pick up girls without any Thai at all. Its not a dealbreaker for many.

Thai females are among the most approachable females on the planet, if you dress nicely, are well groomed, and taller than 175 cm. It helps if you are 190 cm.

[FarangryBirds]

No, I speak Swahili.

Is that a serious question?

If so, then ... yes, I do.

But nowadays you can pick up girls without any Thai at all. Its not a dealbreaker for many.

Thai females are among the most approachable females on the planet, if you dress nicely, are well groomed, and taller than 175 cm. It helps if you are 190 cm.

Yes it was, I was intrigued by your stories about picking up girls on the trains. I've actually been saying to a few people that I think the girls I see riding the BTS/MRT with normal day jobs are much hotter than what's on offer in Soi 4 etc. but I've never thought about striking up a conversation with them. I notice a lot of them try to avoid even sitting next to "farang" if that's the only free seat and when they are sat down they are buried into their smartphones.

- FB (over 175cms tall and usually wearing shirt and pants when riding the train )

[wprime]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

It is easy, the difference between you two is probably your general disposition. If you have a happy disposition Thai girls all seem to want to get to know you, if you're in an apathetic mood they're not interested.

[thai3]

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

The pool of women available to farang men is actually quite shallow.

They look great but there's not much depth to them.

That's fine for guys who don't really want much more than a female who can cook, clean and screw

If a guy needs more, he's not going to find it easy to meet suitable candidates in Thailand.

The OP sounds like he'd be better off with a Western woman.

Still young enough to get a half-decent one if he gets back quick

So true that, most Thai females are not interested in anything outside of Thailand and that will only cover food, family and local gossip, lakorn as well. I often wonder what Thai/falang couples actually do have in common. Mostly none of them are worth getting to know as there is nothing to them other than a slim figure and a pretty face. In depth conversations are best forgotten about, but keep smiling till your face aches and you might get them in bed, big deal.

Edited March 19, 2016 by thai3