We have had a few recent threads lately about what will kill you in Thailand, our best lies..

So what is your best form of defense?

I recall years ago watching a Michael Palin documentary when a seasoned traveler told him

"Whenever you feel threatened, just become terribly British and brush them aside".

How do you survive day to day? Do you do the 'vacant stare into the distance' in public, just keep your head down, push everyone aside, become a chameleon and blend in?

retreat into a bottle at the end of the day

Chronic masturbation

I treat like with like.

I shoulder barge Chinese in crowds and step on their toes when they push in.

I clip Indian's elbows with my bike mirrors if they walk in the road.

I talk louder than the Amurcans sitting at the far side of the restaurant.

I tell bigger lies than the Aussies.

I pretend I'm Bulgarian when I hear a Geordie, a Glaswegian, or a Mick in the bar.

I totally ignore the Russians unless I gesture that I want to have a free cigarette off one of them.

I always ask the Dutch and Norwegians if they're from Germany, and ask the French if they're from Italy and the Italians vice versa.

I smile at the Thais.

Anybody I haven't offended, just let me know.

A healthy dose of cynicism. But then that has been my defence everywhere.

Chronic masturbation

With the above answer, could you possibly clarify which question you were answering?

The questions were "what will kill you in Thailand" or "how do you survive day to day".

Personally, I smile and say "Hello" to everyone.

Either they smile and say hello back, or it scares the shit out of them.

Chronic masturbation

With the above answer, could you possibly clarify which question you were answering?

The questions were "what will kill you in Thailand" or "how do you survive day to day".

Both

Interesting Sipi,the only problem i ever had here was when my ex wife father attacked me with a sawn of tree branch,after i politely asked him to stop throwing rubbish on to the paved back garden area outside his room,[she of course was off on one of her "trips'],he went berserk,and cracked me 4 or 5 times round the side of the head,i managed to grapple with him[he was quite tall for a thai] and then using my wieght managed to topple him to the ground,at which stage i also managed to knock the wood from his hand,my immediate thought was then as i was on top was to punch his face to a pulp,however visions of a Thai mob with machete's stopped me,and i walked away without landing a blow,i have no doubt if i had beat him i would have been murdered right there and then in the village,,so i guess what i am trying to say is maybe it is better to take a couple of blows and walk away,of course it depends on the situation,and will hurt your pride,but i think that is better than; A ending up dead, B ending up severely injured or C in your fury killing the person= hello Thai jail,

That said of course when i lived in mexico and had access to firearms i felt i had no choice in gunning down a party of ten,who were "looking at me funny'

I didn't realise I needed to do something special 'to survive' here, no one has told me in 20 odd years that I should.

I treat like with like.

I shoulder barge Chinese in crowds and step on their toes when they push in.

I clip Indian's elbows with my bike mirrors if they walk in the road.

I talk louder than the Amurcans sitting at the far side of the restaurant.

I tell bigger lies than the Aussies.

I pretend I'm Bulgarian when I hear a Geordie, a Glaswegian, or a Mick in the bar.

I totally ignore the Russians unless I gesture that I want to have a free cigarette off one of them.

I always ask the Dutch and Norwegians if they're from Germany, and ask the French if they're from Italy and the Italians vice versa.

I smile at the Thais.

Anybody I haven't offended, just let me know.

I shoulder barge Chinese in crowds and step on their toes when they push in.

That's exactly what I do, and I'm looking forward to doing it again the next time I'm in Pattaya.

Don't forget the no hurries who manage to push in ahead of everyone at Swampy. I make sure they never push in front of me.

If, at any time, you happen to run into someone with "issues" my Nan always said to avoid eye contact. Touch wood, it has worked so far.

So what is your best form of defense?

Enjoying life, not moaning about everything in Thailand and behaving in a way that confirms that I'm not looking for reasons to be disgruntled and that I'm enjoying my life in Thailand.

... and not staggering about on Beach Rd at 02:00

When driving imagining that it's a real life version of Death Race 2000 or Mad Max and everybody else on the road is trying to kill you.

When driving imagining that it's a real life version of Death Race 2000 or Mad Max and everybody else on the road is trying to kill you.

That's a good one!

I've always thought riding my motorbike through the streets of Bangkok is like being on a bad acid trip minus the LSD.

Cook my own food, drive my own car, do my own banking, and love my own wife.

What about if you get into a confrontation situation? Would anyone decide to get physical to defend themselves? Isn't that dangerous if Thais, for example, have some sort of martial art training, whether that be real or imagined? We have lots of SF members... ..what about all that training you did?

The best defence is no defence, just remove yourself from the situation by the safest means possible.

He who smiled and walked away, lived to fight another day.

I've found this to be a big help.

I've found this to be a big help.

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1457601847.958906.jpg

Is that your new stadium's mascot?

I've found this to be a big help.

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1457601847.958906.jpg

Ye gods! Is that?.....No! It can't be, surely?

For a horrible moment I thought that was...... The moment passed and all's good.

Still, you'd avoid injury, and bounce down the street. The only down side might be people taking a pop at your bubbles.

Chronic masturbation

It's probably less harmful that stuffing your face full of unhealthy food and gaining 200kgs of unsightly fat around your guts.

There's self abuse and then there's SELF ABUSE 55555

Chronic masturbation

Organ failure would be pretty critical, eh?

Chronic masturbation

Organ failure would be pretty critical, eh?

I've never heard about anyone racing off abroad to go and get their masturbation issues sorted but apparently it's a common issue with the morbidly obese people.

I guess masturbation never really hurt anyone. 555555

I've found this to be a big help.

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1457601847.958906.jpg

David, is that you ?

Nice outfit dude, are you a tubby tubby ?

Chronic masturbation

Organ failure would be pretty critical, eh?

I've never heard about anyone racing off abroad to go and get their masturbation issues sorted but apparently it's a common issue with the morbidly obese people.

I guess masturbation never really hurt anyone. 555555

Oh come on man. Get a grip!