Half Thai/Half European Teenagers. ie Luk Khreung. What would you wise people advise?

[laolover88]

We have two teenage girls. 12 going on 13 and 13 going on 14. Because of my work we have managed to come and go between Thailand and Europe all their lives. They speak English, Thai, French and Welsh (don't laugh!) fluently. They are Thai luk khreung. We have reached that stage where they need to acquire some qualifications/pieces of paper after the next 2 years ie GCSE or iGCSE or whatever. Or they need to go through M3456. We cannot send them to International Schools here as we do not have the money, though they could sit UK exams. Guess they could do IB later. Mother says: Shut Up. Nothing wrong with Thai Schools. If they study hard here they can go to Chula or Thammasat. If they not go to Thai University cannot get good job in Thailand. They have been to school in Wales/England/France/Thailand

The children, strangely, hate Thailand very much, but naturally love Mummy. Daddy can we not go back to France/England/Wales? Mum don't like Europe!

Talk about a rock and a hard place!!

What would you do?

[Briggsy]

Send them to live with grandparents in Europe. Kids go to school in Europe. Mummy stays in Thailand. Daddy follows work. Everybody happy.

Unless the Thai half of the family has status or you can afford to send them to a quality school here (govt or international) (you can't), you are at a disadvantage here, second class citizen.

Kids have spoken. They don't like Thailand and very probably don't like Thai school. It is absolutely not student-centred.

[lemonjelly]

A few years from now..... which would be better; a degree from a Thai Uni or a degree from a European Uni?

It's a no brainer my friend, give them the best you can.

Edited March 21, 2016 by lemonjelly

[rgs2001uk]

I ask myself, why do the cashed up Thais up my way send their kids oversaes to be educated.

Nothing to do with rock and a hard place.

You are the father, you are head of the household, you give directions, others follow.

One of the obligations of being a father, put your kids before yourself.

Whats the real reason here, unemployable back in the UK?

Better lifestyle here?

Are you a TEFLr?

[cyberfarang]

The children are too young to know exactly what`s best for them yet. You are the parent and those children are your responsibility and it`s you that needs to guide them.

The Thai education system is not good for luk khreung kids unless they intend to remain in Thailand otherwise if they do return to Europe in the future they will be at a great disadvantage having only Thai qualifications that are not worth the paper they`re printed on and most not recognized in Europe. Sorry that you cannot afford an International school and maybe University education in Thailand for your kids, but you should have thought of that before bringing them here. Daddy can we not go back to France/England/Wales? Seems the children are wiser then their parents.

Edited March 21, 2016 by cyberfarang

[chickenslegs]

A good education is available in Thailand, but only if you can afford it.

There are some great "free" (state) schools in the UK (if you are British and residing in the UK) and some of them are in Wales http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/real-schools-guide-top-state-9765387.

If they go on to university there are student loans available, which don't need to be repaid until they are earning decent salaries.

Well, of course, you know all this anyway.

If Mum doesn't like Europe you will have to persuade her to put up with it for a few years for the sake of her children's future.

[Bender]

The children, strangely, hate Thailand very much,

strangely??!

thailand is a fool paradise for old farts. For normal people with functionning brain, this place is a ######

A true story: when i was living there, i meet a 17 yo luk kreung at my gym. He told me next month, i will be 18 yo and i am leaving in the next plane. For him, this country was also a #####

Laolover, you waste the childhood and the future of your child, because you and your wife are egoistic parents!

Edited March 21, 2016 by Bender

[ronz28]

Convince Mum education will be the keys to high paying jobs in Europe or Thailand sufficient to help Mum out in her old age if need be. She can stay connected to Thailand in Europe via the internet, Facebook and the local Thai temple in ....(wherever). There is plenty of Thai food everywhere.

[rocketboybkk]

Do for your kids

That's what parents do, they make sacrifices

If mother doesn't like Europe & wont do for her kids she's a selfish ****

I'd move or do anything for my daughter

Even die for her

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Phantom4]

I am completing my Masters in Ireland, there are many Asian students studying here and it ain't cheap, so mainly rich Families sent their kids here to study, especially for a Master Degree, I even have a brother that lives in America that is thinking of sending his kids to Ireland to study when they are older as his Kids can study here for free I believe as they have Dual passports and because America is so expensive to study.

I would recommend sending them to the best Uni you can find in Europe.

"Do it right, not twice"

Only my opinion....

[A Lurker]

I think about this a lot with my young children only because its not clear to me which is the better option. Despite what other posters say you can enjoy a good standard of living and an attractive lifestyle here in Thailand and you can also struggle in Western countries with high costs of living and dead end jobs. In your case however it's clear, your kids have stated their preference: they don't want to live in Thailand and therefore you need to equip them for their inevitable life in Europe.

I understand how your wife feels but sometimes you have to suck it up and make sacrifices for your kids. Cut her a deal: once the kids are educated you will both return back to Thailand permanently. It's not forever.

Good luck. It's a difficult decision but at least in your case your kids have given you direction. In that sense it's easier.

[patyh]

I also have a kid here. Still young..

If you have to have your child educated here, I highly recommend a Missionary School.. They tend to be cheaper than International but has a stronger emphasis on Language. Missionary school tend to perform better academically.

But like you mentioned, if your kids hate Thailand, I wouldn't force them.. A boarding school in the UK might be in order.

[mogo51]

Send them to live with grandparents in Europe. Kids go to school in Europe. Mummy stays in Thailand. Daddy follows work. Everybody happy.

Unless the Thai half of the family has status or you can afford to send them to a quality school here (govt or international) (you can't), you are at a disadvantage here, second class citizen.

Kids have spoken. They don't like Thailand and very probably don't like Thai school. It is absolutely not student-centred.

what about Private tutors to get them ahead of the cattle class. I assume you are in Bkk, they are well qualified tutors there, Filipinos will degrees and years of teaching experience can help for reasonable money. Same Pattaya,my wife has one it here in the past.

[LukKrueng]

The children, strangely, hate Thailand very much,

strangely??!

thailand is a fool paradise for old farts. For normal people with functionning brain, this place is a ######

A true story: when i was living there, i meet a 17 yo luk kreung at my gym. He told me next month, i will be 18 yo and i am leaving in the next plane. For him, this country was also a #####

Laolover, you waste the childhood and the future of your child, because you and your wife are egoistic parents!

I am so happy for you that you have found a better place for yourself than Thailand. What I do not understand is, if you think Thailand is such a bad place, what WHY ARE YOU ON THIS FORUM??????????????

[LukKrueng]

I ask myself, why do the cashed up Thais up my way send their kids oversaes to be educated.

Nothing to do with rock and a hard place.

You are the father, you are head of the household, you give directions, others follow.

One of the obligations of being a father, put your kids before yourself.

Whats the real reason here, unemployable back in the UK?

Better lifestyle here?

Are you a TEFLr?

"You are the father, you are head of the household, you give directions, others follow." Wow - what a "dark ages" way of thinking....

[torpedo1970]

I will join the majority here and say give the kids the best education you can in a European school system.

Thai's are overly racist even to the Luk Khreung, in their eyes they are never "real" Thai.

Your kids have experienced the world outside Thailand and seen a better place. They will leave when they are old enough.

The Thai school paper is worth "nada" outside of Thailand.

Go, and if your wife love her kids and you, she will come too......

Good luck man!

[shunter]

Education is the best gift a parent can give to their children. Send your children to Europe to be educated, they will gain a great deal more from life by the experience and education gained than they would if staying here in Thailand.

The future belongs to your children not you or their mother.

Edited March 22, 2016 by shunter

[KunMatt]

"I'm going to send my kids from the UK to Thailand so they can get the best education and upbringing available to them" - said nobody ever.

If the Thais can afford it then send their kids abroad, now you are thinking of doing the opposite. Your kids have the opportunity to get a UK education, it would be irresponsible of you to do otherwise.

Like someone else posted, I wonder what your motive for coming back to Thailand is? Cheaper? Lifestyle? Pressure from your Thai family? Whichever it is, none of them are in the best interests of your kids.

I just uprooted us all from Thailand and moved us back to the UK so my son can start first school in the UK. I don't regret it one bit as it is doing amazingly there and loves it. My 2 year old daughter also loves pre-school. If we didn't have kids we would be in Thailand for ourselves but with kids it wasn't much of a decision of where would be better to raise them

[Tai777]

What exactly do they hate so much about Thailand?

[LukKrueng]

First of all - IMO - education starts at home. You can send 2 kids to the same school, same class, and each will get different things out of it - usually according to what goes on at home.

There ARE good schools here as well, and in many many universities here in Thailand you can find foreigners studying as well - not only Asians, but westerners as well.

When the kids say they want to go back to Europe you have to find out why. You mentioned they studied in various countries including Thailand, but you didn't mention how old they were at each country and how long you stayed in each place. Most people prefer stability and hate/find it hard to make changes in their lives. Given the current age of the girls - 12-13 YO, seems you never stayed at one place more than 2-3 years. Not easy on children to change all their friends so often, especially when the moves from place to place were "forced" on them. Now, at the beginning of their teens another change is even getting harder.

Briggsy suggest sending the girls to live with your parents - Personally I find this idea unacceptable in most situation, as I value the principle of nuclear family.

You can always go for home schooling. You can either go by the French system (you say the girls speak French, but i think you'd have to be able to be fluent in French as well in order to help them), or you can go by the Thai system (and your wife being Thai she'd be able to help). By going the way of home schooling you get to teach them whatever you want (as long as you teach them the required curriculum as well), and you get to spend a great deal of time - quality time - with your family. Send them to the best (and most expensive) school where they spend most hours of the day - and you hardly get to see them....

But back to the original problem you mentioned - the girls want to go back to Europe: Find out why. Obviously at their age they cannot evaluate nor conclude or even consider the quality of the education they'd get here or there. So the reason would probably be other than the education. It would probably relate to social connection they might have there (and if you just moved back here recently - might have none here yet), or the length of time you spent in Europe compared to here in recent years - this would be viewed by the girls as stability as they probably stayed in Europe the majority of their lives (start counting from age 3 as there are not many real memories before that age). Maybe if you promise the girls stability here in Thailand it will be a comforting point for them. Help them get used to the new place, spend more time with them while they develop their new social connections. Show them the beauty of Thailand and the Thai way of life (the real one, not the way of life most TV members perceive through their limited connection to real Thai people).

Whatever you decide - Good luck

[buythisdashcam]

First I would explain the wife that it is me who decides what to do as I certainly have more education and knowledge than her...

Kids should study international program, even on Internet, as of course it is a shame to only go to Thai univ when you are half Thai EU...

[mihalis]

Strange they hate Thailand.. Send em as suggested to grandparents home.....

[timber]

Contacts, and the learning environment can be important after formal education is over. There is more to learn, where you go to school, than academics.

I think one of the key factors is where will they live when they graduate. What careers are they interested in following.

[LukKrueng]

"I'm going to send my kids from the UK to Thailand so they can get the best education and upbringing available to them" - said nobody ever.

If the Thais can afford it then send their kids abroad, now you are thinking of doing the opposite. Your kids have the opportunity to get a UK education, it would be irresponsible of you to do otherwise.

Like someone else posted, I wonder what your motive for coming back to Thailand is? Cheaper? Lifestyle? Pressure from your Thai family? Whichever it is, none of them are in the best interests of your kids.

I just uprooted us all from Thailand and moved us back to the UK so my son can start first school in the UK. I don't regret it one bit as it is doing amazingly there and loves it. My 2 year old daughter also loves pre-school. If we didn't have kids we would be in Thailand for ourselves but with kids it wasn't much of a decision of where would be better to raise them

Well, each person is entitled to his own point of view. However, the OP is not SENDING his kids to study in Thailand, he moved to Thailand with his family. In my point of view - a family being together is much more important than sending the kids far far away "to get a better education". Not so long ago the rich and aristocrats used to send their kids to boarding schools with the excuse (and maybe belief) of best possible education. Didn't do much good for the family connection and definitely caused some bad characteristic flaws.

His reasons for coming back to Thailand are not important. His wish to be together with his family and do the best by all of them is.

[shunter]

timber post # 23

Contacts, and the learning environment can be important after formal education is over. There is more to learn, where you go to school, than academics.

I think one of the key factors is where will they live when they graduate. What careers are they interested in following.

Superb post encapsulates the situation perfectly.

Being an Old Stoic I can certainly verify the truth of that statement.

It's not what you know ,it's who you know, and that situation prevails at al levels of society whether it be business, politically or social structures

[Briggsy]

Laolover88

What was the extent of your wife's education? Was she working a minimum wage job / subsistence life when you met here? What is her plan for her kids' future. Is it just laissez-faire / fatalistic?

If the answers are

i) little

ii) yes

iii) none

iv) yes

then you have one of the chief factors in explaining how the children of the poor and less-educated remain firmly at the bottom of society's pile in Thailand.

Be firm. Get the kids in a Western country and education system.

[Bredbury Blue]

I think this comes down to where do you as a family and where do your girls see their future. If it is outside Thailand then they probably need to be studying in a uk syllabus school. If like us you see your future in Thailand then your girls need to be fluent in thai as their peers plus fluent in English skills, then consider one of the bilingual schools like Sarasas Affiliated Schools (they even them upcountry these days). Bilingual schools are not expensive. They will for example have maths lessons in english and in thai. Sarasas are particularly keen on musical schools and most kids study instruments and aim to get in one of the school bands. My boys have learnt piano, guitar and are both very keen drummers. Send me a message if you want anymore info.

[A Lurker]

A lot of posters are suggesting to follow the example of rich Thai families sending their kids to study abroad. IMO this is not comparable. These families are grooming their children for top establishment positions in government and in business through their names and social connections - mostly impenetrable by outsiders. Children outside of these privileged circles who are intending to live in Thailand are better off at good schools here in Thailand where they can develop networks and local knowledge.

[KunMatt]

"I'm going to send my kids from the UK to Thailand so they can get the best education and upbringing available to them" - said nobody ever.

If the Thais can afford it then send their kids abroad, now you are thinking of doing the opposite. Your kids have the opportunity to get a UK education, it would be irresponsible of you to do otherwise.

Like someone else posted, I wonder what your motive for coming back to Thailand is? Cheaper? Lifestyle? Pressure from your Thai family? Whichever it is, none of them are in the best interests of your kids.

I just uprooted us all from Thailand and moved us back to the UK so my son can start first school in the UK. I don't regret it one bit as it is doing amazingly there and loves it. My 2 year old daughter also loves pre-school. If we didn't have kids we would be in Thailand for ourselves but with kids it wasn't much of a decision of where would be better to raise them

Well, each person is entitled to his own point of view. However, the OP is not SENDING his kids to study in Thailand, he moved to Thailand with his family. In my point of view - a family being together is much more important than sending the kids far far away "to get a better education". Not so long ago the rich and aristocrats used to send their kids to boarding schools with the excuse (and maybe belief) of best possible education. Didn't do much good for the family connection and definitely caused some bad characteristic flaws.

His reasons for coming back to Thailand are not important. His wish to be together with his family and do the best by all of them is.

Of course his reasons for moving back are important. I always remember a discussion on here on a similar subject and the reason given for raising his kids in Thailand instead of his home country was because it was cheaper and he liked to play golf. I wouldn't say that guy was doing right by his family, and if the OP's reasons are similar then the conclusion if the same.

[JAG]

I ask myself, why do the cashed up Thais up my way send their kids oversaes to be educated.

Nothing to do with rock and a hard place.

You are the father, you are head of the household, you give directions, others follow.

One of the obligations of being a father, put your kids before yourself.

Whats the real reason here, unemployable back in the UK?

Better lifestyle here?

Are you a TEFLr?

"You are the father, you are head of the household, you give directions, others follow." Wow - what a "dark ages" way of thinking....

Yes indeed. Mind you, just look at the last 3 sentences, they also reveal, shall we say, a certain mindset, no doubt based on a very particular prejudice!