choose carefully

[Torrens54]

NancyL, read closely and you will see that we were at different, adjacent windows.

Loved the story. Well told and if people choose to question its authenticity, who cares? It was still an entertaining yarn.

[NancyL]

I feel like Michael Corleone: "Connie, Connie, Connie." In my case, it's "Nancy, Nancy, Nancy."

Not a packed waiting room. You wrongly assume (once again) that all those folks were there at once. Even if they were, they would hardly pack the place. I'm not sure what you mean by a low season for the Consulate, but if you stop to think for a moment you might realize that three weeks before bApril 15th, tax day, there's a fair bit of notarizing going on. As for the unlikelihood of a Thai person sneaking in on the day reserved for US Citizen services, that's not how it works. Thais often appear on ACS days, for a host of reasons. And I never said she was there for a visa interview. In fact, those are conducted in a small, closed room next to Window 3.

My wife and I are now discussing over dinner how silly it is for you to reject prima facie something we both witnessed.

I guess my post offended or disturbed you in some way. Maybe you took it as a dig at all women, or all Thai women, but that is a misguided reading. From your frequent posts, I had been under the impression that you were a reasonable and constructive person. Alas, after this exchange I must say my opinion has changed, for you come across as merely another peevish, recalcitrant newcomer, naive, arrogant, uninformed.

I'm tapping out of this one.

Yes, actually your OP did catch my eye as a dig at all women. In your OP you comment on the physical build of an American woman obviously not having a good day and warn all American men embarking on a new marriage with a Thai woman that they may actually be entering into a relationship with a gold digger. And now you've further demonstrated your misogynistic characteristics in the patronizing first line of previous post.

I agree it's time to "tap out" of this discussion. And I agree that women have been "playing men for money" since the beginning of time as a previous poster said. And I think we can all agree that men have been exploiting women for other reasons since the beginning of time, also.

But, I think you can understand why I (and others) are skeptical about why a woman would be so stupid as to ask a question about how to obtain a divorce in the U.S. of the consular staff when applying for her visa to the U.S.

[TheAppletons]

NancyL, read closely and you will see that we were at different, adjacent windows.

Loved the story. Well told and if people choose to question its authenticity, who cares? It was still an entertaining yarn.

yarn

yärn/Submit

noun

1.

spun thread used for knitting, weaving, or sewing.

synonyms: thread, cotton, wool, fiber, filament; ply

"you need to use a fine yarn"

2.

informal

a long or rambling story, especially one that is implausible.

synonyms: story, tale, anecdote, saga, narrative; More

verbinformal

1.

tell a long or implausible story.

"they were yarning about local legends and superstitions"

[Puwa]

I feel like Michael Corleone: "Connie, Connie, Connie." In my case, it's "Nancy, Nancy, Nancy."

Not a packed waiting room. You wrongly assume (once again) that all those folks were there at once. Even if they were, they would hardly pack the place. I'm not sure what you mean by a low season for the Consulate, but if you stop to think for a moment you might realize that three weeks before bApril 15th, tax day, there's a fair bit of notarizing going on. As for the unlikelihood of a Thai person sneaking in on the day reserved for US Citizen services, that's not how it works. Thais often appear on ACS days, for a host of reasons. And I never said she was there for a visa interview. In fact, those are conducted in a small, closed room next to Window 3.

My wife and I are now discussing over dinner how silly it is for you to reject prima facie something we both witnessed.

I guess my post offended or disturbed you in some way. Maybe you took it as a dig at all women, or all Thai women, but that is a misguided reading. From your frequent posts, I had been under the impression that you were a reasonable and constructive person. Alas, after this exchange I must say my opinion has changed, for you come across as merely another peevish, recalcitrant newcomer, naive, arrogant, uninformed.

I'm tapping out of this one.

Yes, actually your OP did catch my eye as a dig at all women. In your OP you comment on the physical build of an American woman obviously not having a good day and warn all American men embarking on a new marriage with a Thai woman that they may actually be entering into a relationship with a gold digger. And now you've further demonstrated your misogynistic characteristics in the patronizing first line of previous post.

I agree it's time to "tap out" of this discussion. And I agree that women have been "playing men for money" since the beginning of time as a previous poster said. And I think we can all agree that men have been exploiting women for other reasons since the beginning of time, also.

But, I think you can understand why I (and others) are skeptical about why a woman would be so stupid as to ask a question about how to obtain a divorce in the U.S. of the consular staff when applying for her visa to the U.S.

That's fine, Nancy. Thanks for explaining yourself. No hard feelings.

[Rob13]

Too much information; always a sign of BS or a "yarn"

Edited March 26, 2016 by Rob13

[cornishcarlos]

Why do people think it is a stupid question to ask the consulate staffer ? Unless this Thai girl had previous marriage visa attempts, perhaps her naivety of the situation was the reason to open her mouth

[Dante99]

The person in this story that is stupid is not the Thai lady, it is the guy with her. So does that make it a "dig at all" men?

[cornishcarlos]

The person in this story that is stupid is not the Thai lady, it is the guy with her. So does that make it a "dig at all" men?

The guy in the story doesn't know he is stupid, yet

[CharlieH]

Quite a number of "flame" and "personal remarks" have been removed.

Debate/discuss the topic NOT the poster.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

As per the title of this thread "choose carefully" what you say toward a fellow member, this behaviour and type of "attack" will not be tolerated and will result in suspension if you persist.

[geriatrickid]

Usually they try to schedule appointments at the U.S. Consulate so that they don't get so congested and backed up with customers. Also, they don't like to handle more than one customer at a time in at the window, for privacy reasons. I find the story a little far-fetched.

But it was entertaining. I enjoyed it.

[slapout]

Maybe I am confused, but I was not aware the consulate here in CM would even be involved in granting the type of documents

required for a married couple that would allow the lady to be granted a divorce or anything other than a limited time stay, upon arrival in the USA, by the proper people.

I think that group is called ''homeland land security''.

[Bill97]

The person in this story that is stupid is not the Thai lady, it is the guy with her. So does that make it a "dig at all" men?

True, it says a lot about those who focused on the Thai lady being off.

[JHolmesJr]

"Tapping Out" ... Thats when youre one second away from being choked to death and give in.

This thread has all the drama one could hope for.

[JaseTheBass]

Yes, women have been playing men for their money since the beginning of time and we all know Thai girls do it well.The problem with the OP's little story is the Thai women asking how to divorce her future husband to the people she's applying for a marriage visa from. Nobody's that stupid, especially a girl chasing someone to get US immigration status and alimony.

"Nobody's that stupid"

yes thats sooo stupid, you dont believe it when you witness it!

I thought he made it clear she was Thai?

[BookMan]

I feel like Michael Corleone: "Connie, Connie, Connie." In my case, it's "Nancy, Nancy, Nancy."

Not a packed waiting room. You wrongly assume (once again) that all those folks were there at once. Even if they were, they would hardly pack the place. I'm not sure what you mean by a low season for the Consulate, but if you stop to think for a moment you might realize that three weeks before bApril 15th, tax day, there's a fair bit of notarizing going on. As for the unlikelihood of a Thai person sneaking in on the day reserved for US Citizen services, that's not how it works. Thais often appear on ACS days, for a host of reasons. And I never said she was there for a visa interview. In fact, those are conducted in a small, closed room next to Window 3.

My wife and I are now discussing over dinner how silly it is for you to reject prima facie something we both witnessed.

I guess my post offended or disturbed you in some way. Maybe you took it as a dig at all women, or all Thai women, but that is a misguided reading. From your frequent posts, I had been under the impression that you were a reasonable and constructive person. Alas, after this exchange I must say my opinion has changed, for you come across as merely another peevish, recalcitrant newcomer, naive, arrogant, uninformed.

I'm tapping out of this one.

Yes, actually your OP did catch my eye as a dig at all women. In your OP you comment on the physical build of an American woman obviously not having a good day and warn all American men embarking on a new marriage with a Thai woman that they may actually be entering into a relationship with a gold digger. And now you've further demonstrated your misogynistic characteristics in the patronizing first line of previous post.

I agree it's time to "tap out" of this discussion. And I agree that women have been "playing men for money" since the beginning of time as a previous poster said. And I think we can all agree that men have been exploiting women for other reasons since the beginning of time, also.

But, I think you can understand why I (and others) are skeptical about why a woman would be so stupid as to ask a question about how to obtain a divorce in the U.S. of the consular staff when applying for her visa to the U.S.

I can totally see The woman, asking in Thai, something like this.

If her husband doesn't understand Thai, she knows she can ask and he won't know.

She wont see anyone in the waiting area again and they don't know anyone there, so her asking is perfectly safe in her mind

[seedy]

Off Topic posts Removed

If a thread is wanted on the duties of a Notary, feel free to start one.

[WorkingTourist]

I can totally see The woman, asking in Thai, something like this.

If her husband doesn't understand Thai, she knows she can ask and he won't know.

It’s not about the husband, but the employee of the U.S. Consulate. She is revealing that she considers it a pro forma marriage, which might be enough to deny her the visa.

I am curious, did the clerk answer the question? And if so, what answer did he give? Because the first step in getting a divorce would be to tell your partner, so I am not sure what sort of helpful reply she was expecting.

[Mapguy]

I think it's just some creative fiction and doesn't reflect well on Thai women.

So yes, I agree I'm disagreeing on more than just a matter of opinion, based on my knowledge of how business is conducted at the Consulate. Sorry. The story just doesn't add up.

It certainly doesn't reflect well on that one person. My Thai wife of 18 years was there with me, and she heard the same thing. In fact, I will venture to say that you would be hard pressed to find another male poster in this forum who respects Thai women-- and women in general-- more than I do.

Moreover, there is nothing about the procedures, layout, or routines of the Consulate that contradicts my account. I was at one window, waiting as my documents were checked, and she was about a meter to my right at another window.

By the way, when I do write creative fiction, it is far more interesting than this.

It is ironic indeed that you credulously repeat what a shady restauranteur tells you, but choose to dismiss as fiction an account which is entirely true,entirely plausible, though unpalatable.

And frankly, having known and socialized with many Consulate employees over the years, this story is nothing compared to the tales they could tell you. You might be surprised, despite your "knowledge of how business is conducted at the Consulate."

If this is an honest post, then the question actually expresses an honest (and frightened) valid concern in moving to a foreign country. Anyway, what assumption does OP make in posting an overheard matter! SUCH A BUSYBODY!!

Edited March 28, 2016 by Mapguy

[Mapguy]

I can totally see The woman, asking in Thai, something like this.

If her husband doesn't understand Thai, she knows she can ask and he won't know.

It’s not about the husband, but the employee of the U.S. Consulate. She is revealing that she considers it a pro forma marriage, which might be enough to deny her the visa.

I am curious, did the clerk answer the question? And if so, what answer did he give? Because the first step in getting a divorce would be to tell your partner, so I am not sure what sort of helpful reply she was expecting.

Another busybody --- not even anywhere close !!!

[Mapguy]

Ah! I forgot! The thread title is nothing more than a cheap effort to gain attention. OP, if you have some genuine topic to offer for discussion, would you please not put a cheap "headline" on it? Thank you!

[Puwa]

Ah! I forgot! The thread title is nothing more than a cheap effort to gain attention. OP, if you have some genuine topic to offer for discussion, would you please not put a cheap "headline" on it? Thank you!

In a sense, that's almost a valid point. An account of an incident is different from an inquiry, such as which burger is best, or whether to rent or buy a condominium. However, look at all the incident-based topics that form a big part of TV discussion, everything from adventures with shoddy plumbing to the foibles of Chinese tourists. There's an established practice of reporting, and no rule against it. If you don't wish to participate, do what I do with almost all topics here and simply move on.

Regarding the title, meh, you can't please everyone. Busybody? Not really, because I didn't butt in.

As for a cheap effort at attention, I average roughly .3 posts per day, calculated over the past 11 years. Most of those are factual in nature, mainly replies to others' inquiries (including, by the way, a number of referrals to NGOs that help women in trouble, "misogynist" that I am.) Sometimes I offer translations, sometimes directions, sometimes a smart-alec one-liner. I didn't see an easy way to count topics started, but mine are few and far between. And most are very short, though somehow on this topic I broke my own rule and find myself typing more than I planned.

By comparison, I note that the average frequency of your posts is 3 times higher than mine. As for topics, though many are also factual (and frankly rather disquisitive), yours include a few showstoppers as well, such as the subtly-titled, "Put A Nickel on the Drum, Save Another Drunken Bum," and, "Burgers to Be Banned in Chiang Mai." I certainly hope you got the attention you were seeking from these paragons of restrained headlining.

Back to the topic at hand. What was the reply from the Consular officer? Excellent question, and I should have included it in the original. He said something along the lines of "You would take care of that in America, under the law where you are living." He didn't offer much detail. I got the impression he was trying to be tactful. Note that this was a conversation among two Thais, and that he is a rather junior guy doing clerical work. Visa interviews and anything regarding a decision of consequence are the responsibility of actual Consular officials, trained and deployed by the State Department, not local Thai hires, capable though they may be.

Earlier in this thread, NancyL and I were volleying back and forth, until she revealed what ticked her off: that I referred to a woman in the waiting room as "overweight." I admit it wasn't the kindest remark. Actually, what bothered me about her was not her body shape at all, but something much less pleasant. Impatient, she was standing too close behind us on line, and kept belching and blowing the gaseous by-product in our direction. Nevertheless, in Nancy's reading, in the context of the story, my comment about her size put me in the category of western-women-hating, yet Thai-women-bashing farang malcontents (male-contents?) whose worldview need not be rehearsed here. But that's not me, not by a longshot. I don't feel compelled to run through my bona fides for the TV crowd, but suffice it to say that I have quite a different profile. Anyway, Nancy and I agreed that enough was enough and we parted amicably, so to speak, hopefully with no hard feelings.

You, Mappy, are attacking from a different approach. Apparently it's not the particulars of the story you dislike, but some combination of the kind of topic I posted-- report of an incident-- and what you imagine motivated it-- my supposed craving for attention. While Nancy's complaint was founded on a misunderstanding between us, yours is simply the hypocritical imposition of an invented standard by which you yourself do not abide, as we can see in the topics mentioned above. In other words, you don't follow your own map, guy. Who knows why? Maybe you want to stake an exclusive claim on some subgenre of TV, but as the old saying goes, "map is not territory."

[NancyL]

Now, now, now Puwa, why did you have to pull me back into this again?

Your comment about the overweight American woman was just one of many "features" of your OP that bothered me -- not THE central feature, although you've chosen to latch onto that as the central explanation as to why I questioned the veracity of your story. Not so, for the many reasons I explained, in detail, in early pages of this thread. Your story simply doesn't "hang together" from a factual standpoint. It's too far-fetched. As someone said -- too many details. Too many events that "could have happened" at the U.S. Consulate all happening on the same day.

Was there really any need to provoke me again in your volley against Mapguy?

[Puwa]

Now, now, now Puwa, why did you have to pull me back into this again?

Your comment about the overweight American woman was just one of many "features" of your OP that bothered me -- not THE central feature, although you've chosen to latch onto that as the central explanation as to why I questioned the veracity of your story. Not so, for the many reasons I explained, in detail, in early pages of this thread. Your story simply doesn't "hang together" from a factual standpoint. It's too far-fetched. As someone said -- too many details. Too many events that "could have happened" at the U.S. Consulate all happening on the same day.

Was there really any need to provoke me again in your volley against Mapguy?

Fair enough, Nancy. I don't want to pull you back in. I just wanted to draw the comparison between your critique, which at least was based on what I wrote, and Mapguy's complaint, which was...something else. Anyway, I believe I addressed adequately every single one of the questions you raised, and was happy to do so. Have a great day!

Edited for this additional word to Nancy: And though we disagree, you were gracious about calling enough enough.

Edited March 29, 2016 by Puwa

[Bill97]

Take a nap Mapguy, a long one.

[mesquite]

Damn, I miss Beetlejuice.

[Jdiddy]

Thanks for letting me know op, just dumped her and threw all her chit out onto the street