Corruption of Thinglish.

[menzies233]

I just love the way that my wife picks up English and then uses it back at me, I have to admit I use a bit of profanity, have done all my life.

It kills me how the Thais will pick up on this and start to use it in everyday life. When we visited my family in the UK my wife would often come out with things randomly in a perfectly normal situation such as having dinner with my mother....."Oh dear, this fish is <deleted> Hot" , or a simple "<deleted> Off" instead of a simple, NO.

The latest one and my favourite is her description of my computer room where I keep all the computers, hand tools, electrics and junk.

She has obviously heard me refer to things when they are messed up as a "Pig Sty" however, she thinks it is "Pig Die" - So I get "<deleted> Hell the room looks like a pig die!"

My son finds it hilarious, he understands the difference between DIE and STY. I had to laugh explaining to him that my computer room might look like a room where a pig died, but every night I have to go to bed and the pig is still alive! (Wife still cannot get her head around that one.)

Edited April 25, 2016 by metisdead
8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities.

[matta330]

Not exactly Tinglish, but my wife wanted an English word to use while driving instead of calling all the horrific drivers she sees kwais. So I told her a*s*ole and she looked up the literal translation and decided she liked that one. Now she uses that one all the time and has taught her family including her 13 year old cousin on the proper use.

Edited April 25, 2016 by matta330

[HLover]

Ahh, what the future holds:

"Hey, a**hole- you buy me a f#$#ing drink or what?"

Absolute bliss, keep up the fine teachings. :-)

[kannot]

My Wife likes cooking in the "chicken"

[marko kok prong]

I was introduced to a girl who's name i thought was Bun. A few days later i mentioned her,to mystified stares,"you know i said your friend Bun who was here the other day", finally it clicked Apbun, they said,like the fruit,i scratched my head,eventually someone produced an apple from the fridge,mystery solved.

[carlyai]

My best was i say '&lt;deleted&gt; hell!' A lot. Cause I'm Aussie and &lt;deleted&gt;... is a kind of a safety blanket.

Last year my wife of 28 yrs said 'well you can go &lt;deleted&gt; in hell too', which bought me undone.

All these years when i said '&lt;deleted&gt;... hell' she bit her toung when she thought i said 'you f... in hell.

Nice wife.☺

[Rykbanlor]

I was introduced to a girl who's name i thought was Bun. A few days later i mentioned her,to mystified stares,"you know i said your friend Bun who was here the other day", finally it clicked Apbun, they said,like the fruit,i scratched my head,eventually someone produced an apple from the fridge,mystery solved.

What makes my brain cry is that I have met "Buns" before, and they insisted on spelling their names "Ple" being the second half of Apple. Groan.

[soc]

l know this thread is about Thai-English but just want to point out the idiosyncrasies of Filipina-English.

We lived out in the country in Australia & used to go to town every month for shopping etc.

On our way home l stopped at a pub & said to my wife that l "was just going to duck in here & buy some bottles of beer"

She gave me a funny look but said nothing.

When l returned to the car she asked me "where is the duck?"

Just once l got her drunk on wine(she never drank alcohol before)& the next morning she was complaining of her "overhang".

We had an obnoxious neighbour who we called "bucket mouth" & he didn't know we called him this.

l was in the garage & he came to honour us with his presence, so my wife shouted out to me "bucket mouth is here"

Of course he heard it!

[xerostar]

My Wife likes cooking in the "chicken"

I met a Thai girl who could not pronounce "kitchen" to save her life

It always came out as "chichen" (as in Chechnya)

But at least she could say "I go chopping"

Then she said "I play car every month - need money now !"

I said "what? you mean you play cards every month -gambling !?, I not like, I not give money for gambling !"

"no" she said " I play car every month, if not give money then man come take car go away"

Then I realized she had to make car payments every month and it would be repossessed if she didn't make the payment.

and she was hoping I would make the payments !

[laolover88]

I think I have written this before but it bears repeating!

Wife: I not want to sleep alone. I afraid of the goats.

Me: What? Oh ghosts.

[maybefitz]

My wife's best one, she didn't know the name for a 'feather duster'.

It came out as a chicken hair stick. - logical.

[AussieFarmer]

I think I have written this before but it bears repeating!

Wife: I not want to sleep alone. I afraid of the goats.

Me: What? Oh ghosts.

I have experienced this one with my girlfriend, I also find it amusing when she tries to call my boss' sheep dog who's name is Ace, "here Aye, Aye come here"

[PETERTHEEATER]

After forty odd years of marriage my wife still can't understand why silverfish run around in drawers but goldfish swim in bowls (A few posters on here wont either!)

[laolover88]

I like the words they can t say. Try Throat and Trough and Through; almost anything where r's and l's are involved. The goats led on to gloat and grade and glade (not to be confused with that horrible perfume)! Also had fun with follow and furrow, let alone Forint and For Rent.When we got to French it was worse. She kept confusing canaille, canard and canif..all words that have double meanings in French. My mother did not take too kindly to her saying the repas was un vrai canard.

Edited April 26, 2016 by laolover88

[sanukjim]

With the use of profanity around the household ,you must be either Australian or English.

[laolover88]

Yes. As a 100% Uppity Thai she has no problem in the politest company of saying to anyone : You are a <deleted> idiot, with naturally no clue as to the impact of what she says. But then she smiles like a Thai! Which allows all to be forgiven!! I was always impressed by her taking tea with my granny, who is quite posh, but has some odd habits. Cake was served. There were knives and forks.She watched carefully. Cut the slice of cake with a knife and fork, balanced the cake on the knife and ate.

[northernphil]

My TW tinks the loose girls in places like Pattaya are plentitutes , funny I was bought up to think the first 5 books of the bible are that .

[Mudcrab]

My misses is really proud of her Thai style garden in Oz. Proudly tells the neighbor (female) and then shows her her many F@rk and Pr!ck growing in the veggie patch.

[bazza40]

My teerak said to me she wanted to go to Wat Ching. Where the hell is Wat Ching? Finally worked out she wanted to go back to the house to do the washing.

[lucifer666]

After watching an episode of Only fools and horses, my wife now calls everyone a "Dipstick"

[akentryan]

My wife could not say squirrel. Came out as skorl or skurl. Not isolated to Thais though as I read somewhere that during WW2 they used to look for German spies by asking them to pronounce squirrel. Apparently Germans can't pronounce it either.

[happy pattaya man]

My lady likes her vampire and werewolf movies...it took me a while to catch on and even longer after that to stop laughing when she asked for woolworth movie.

hpm.

[1BADDAT]

My wife could not say squirrel. Came out as skorl or skurl. Not isolated to Thais though as I read somewhere that during WW2 they used to look for German spies by asking them to pronounce squirrel. Apparently Germans can't pronounce it either.

My ex gf's mom is Puerto Rican. She pronounced it skwiddles. We all thought it was pretty funny as did she.

[dick dasterdly]

My wife could not say squirrel. Came out as skorl or skurl. Not isolated to Thais though as I read somewhere that during WW2 they used to look for German spies by asking them to pronounce squirrel. Apparently Germans can't pronounce it either.

My ex gf's mom is Puerto Rican. She pronounced it skwiddles. We all thought it was pretty funny as did she.

Yup, my youngest brother grew up in Finland and his version of squirrel had me crying with laughter!

My version of 'rolling my r's' had the same effect on him .

Edited April 27, 2016 by dick dasterdly

[1BADDAT]

Not exactly on topic but...When I'm out on the motorbike with the Gf, I sometimes say "Sawasdee dog" to the soi dogs when we ride past them. My gf told me yesterday that I didn't need to speak to them in thai because the dogs in pattaya speak English. I thought it was pretty funny.

[rodcourt49]

Not exactly on topic but...When I'm out on the motorbike with the Gf, I sometimes say "Sawasdee dog" to the soi dogs when we ride past them. My gf told me yesterday that I didn't need to speak to them in thai because the dogs in pattaya speak English. I thought it was pretty funny.

..mine used to call a 'nipple' a 'nephew'...I fell onto the floor in rapturous pain...couldn't for the life of me work out how he got to be in our room!

[northernphil]

A few years ago the Bumese girl next door on looking around our new house was pointing to a tree next door she said " Fuk Fruit " I told her fruit was good for her , my TW said no the fruit is called Fuk fruit. My fault not the girls, oh and my wife when angry says Fek . After hearing Father Jack in an episode of Father Ted.

[starky]

Not exactly on topic but...When I'm out on the motorbike with the Gf, I sometimes say "Sawasdee dog" to the soi dogs when we ride past them. My gf told me yesterday that I didn't need to speak to them in thai because the dogs in pattaya speak English. I thought it was pretty funny.

Not sawasdee ma?

[Shiver]

"Chan Chai" I thought was a bus company or something which confused me because it seemed unrelated to the current topic of the weather, but apparently it's how you say "SunShine" after translation.

"Are you angry yet?" - "no, but I'm getting a bit Hungry".

"Pay Roo" (not an Aussie behaviour so far as I know) - I thought falang always complain Thai people not know anything about the worwd?: (she was talking about a person that said they came from Peru but had lived most of his life in Australia). Undeterred, she continued "Is Pay Roo far from here?", "yes", "more than Chon Buri?". "Peru is pretty much the other side of the world" .....pause ..... "I don't understand, I bored talk".

Edited April 29, 2016 by Shiver

[matta330]

My wife can not say remember. Instead, it is just member. Yesterday she told me someone in her family was "allergy disinfectant" (sic) and I asked here if she meant allergic to an antibiotic? She said yes. I asked which one. She say "I can not member."