Starting a Family

[siberianwarcat]

Hello All!

Just found out my 40-year old Thai girlfriend is pregnant (6 weeks).

I am 40-years old too and British but have lived and worked in Thailand for 5-years now. We are both overjoyed so please keep the all-knowing condemnation to a minimum please.

Family and most friends are in the UK still so, pretty isolated. Girlfriends parents have passed away as have mine so don't have too many folk to ask basic questions.

Right now, gf is super tired. The truth is that I just thought she was getting fat because of eating too much and not doing any exercise. Classic mistake I am sure. Anyhow we have overcome that hump and now I want to do the right thing.

I have bought folic acid yesterday and I have been tipped off about where I can by Vitamin D pills.

Looking to access a forum of folks in similar situation locally and wanted to know if there are any suggestions of new fathers groups meeting in Pattaya/Jomtien, any useful places (apart from the internet) where I might access support.

The reality is that I work at home online whist gf works in sales across the city, so the plan is for me to be the main care provider which suits me perfectly.

We have had our first scan and will be going back in a month.

[johng]

You might consider getting married before the child is born   so that your name can go on the birth certificate..which will give you and your child better options later on.

[Thailaw]

There is no requirement to be married to the mother to be identified on the birth certificate as "the father" in Thailand. Nor is it a requirement to be listed as the father on birth certificates in most other countries or for the child to be issued a birth certificate from the country of the father's nationality. But some countries, still operating in the dark ages, may have such a requirement.

It is true, however, that the father will automatically have parental (custodial) rights in respect of the child if he is married to the mother at the time that the child is born. The law in Thailand recognizes that a child born to a woman who is not married shall be deemed to be the legitimate child of such woman, and therefore the mother alone will have the parental rights over the child. .If not married at the time the child is born, legitimation of a child and receipt of parental (custodial) rights for the father will need to obtained by:

1. The subsequent marriage of the biological father and mother of the child;
2. By registration made on application by the biological father; or
3. By judgment of the court.

Much of this is discussed in detail in other threads on TV.

.

[NanLaew]

For pre-natal, by far the best obs-gyn is Dr Supannee on Soi Photisan. About 350 m from the Naklua traffic lights, just beyond and opposite from a 7-eleven. She's a bit of a local legend in that regard.

I think 6 weeks is a bit early for a scan since it will be like a pea in a pod so I hope there's not a private hospital getting loads of the OP's money for this. Mrs NL attended Dr Supannee until the start of the third trimester whereupon we moved back up-country where our son was delivered at a provincial private hospital. They never suggested a Cesarean section which appears to be the preferred (and more lucrative) option of Pattaya's private hospitals, regardless of the size of the mum and the baby. If there's a decent private hospital where the OP's partner comes from, that should be considered. Forty years old may bring certain additional safeguards for the unborn child so I would defer to Cheryl on the rather excellent TV medical forum for qualitative advice on that.

Good luck!

[dotpoom]

Many congratulations on becoming a Father. I shouldn't worry too much about things, just take life one day at a time. For myself, any man who shows as much concern as you have at this early stage will make a great Father ..........God Bless.

[Macthehat]

Your girlfriends doctor will give her all the necessary vitamins etc at the clinic/hospital in script form . Congrats

[prk888]

we used baby centre and got lots of useful regular info.  many such sites available 

[Johnniey]

On 8/1/2016 at 5:04 PM, Thailaw said:

There is no requirement to be married to the mother to be identified on the birth certificate as "the father" in Thailand. Nor is it a requirement to be listed as the father on birth certificates in most other countries or for the child to be issued a birth certificate from the country of the father's nationality. But some countries, still operating in the dark ages, may have such a requirement.

It is true, however, that the father will automatically have parental (custodial) rights in respect of the child if he is married to the mother at the time that the child is born. The law in Thailand recognizes that a child born to a woman who is not married shall be deemed to be the legitimate child of such woman, and therefore the mother alone will have the parental rights over the child. .If not married at the time the child is born, legitimation of a child and receipt of parental (custodial) rights for the father will need to obtained by:

1. The subsequent marriage of the biological father and mother of the child;
2. By registration made on application by the biological father; or
3. By judgment of the court.

Much of this is discussed in detail in other threads on TV.

.

Don't try to be a know-it-all. It is much easier in the future if the parents are married.

[Stardust314]

[villagefarang]

Not having children was the best decision my wife and I could have made, full stop!  We love the freedom.

[Rimmer]

A troll post and replies have been removed

[NanLaew]

Nope. Re-read the OP and he's really happy and looking forward to fatherhood with his partner. Those already passing advice on contraception (thanks for the cull Rimmer) and single-couple lifestyles are more than welcome to try again and see if they can contribute something of value.

 

Or they can start another thread.

[Rimmer]

A flame post has been removed, if you cant reply without flaming expect that your post will get removed. 

 

[gmac]

14 hours ago, villagefarang said:

Not having children was the best decision my wife and I could have made, full stop!  We love the freedom.

 

Wish ours had been a joint decision, my wife was for it and I was against and you can guess who won!   Four years later the relationship is pretty much on the rocks.  Congratulations to the OP and those who want kids together but if one partner is for it and the other against it is a recipe for disaster.

[thaibeachlovers]

Are you sure as to the age of the fetus? At 6 weeks

"Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil."

http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-6-weeks_1095.bc

 

If she is getting seriously fat you should be concerned about her. Being pregnant is not an excuse to do nothing and eat too much. Especially if eating bad food that puts on weight.

[NanLaew]

Hormonal changes, particularly post-natal ones can cause women to get fat regardless of age, diet and exercise. Just something to watch out for after the thrill is gone.

[Macthehat]

On 03/08/2016 at 2:36 PM, Rimmer said:

A flame post has been removed, if you cant reply without flaming expect that your post will get removed. 

 

What is a "flame post" ? 

[CharlieH]

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.