How to show the Thai gf who's boss?

[1FinickyOne]

I like to go out every other day and pee on the perimeters of the property...

[BadBouy]

 

[atyclb]

6 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Questions such as this baffle me... 

 

Aren't relationships a 'Partnership' ?? No one is 'Boss'... the idea is antiquated and just silly... 

 

Healthy relationships are borne of a mutual respect... IF you are feeling that you need to impose your 'authority' and need to to 'be the Boss' in a relationship you are probably trying to control someone who has little respect for you... 

 

in theory you are correct for a standard relationship.  the thing is in thailand a high % of relationships would not occur if not for the great financial disparity between thai woman and expat male. the great majority of thai females in such situations would not be there if not for the financial support they receive. in essence the females are being rented, akin to a house being rented.  i dont judge the situation just explain it

[AsianExport]

Usually after she tries to drag herself after sex she knows who is the boss...

 

 

Edited August 29, 2016 by AsianExport

[richard_smith237]

Simple... man up and don't worry about the criticism you may face on here... 

 

Forehand Slap = Encouragement

Backhand Slap = Discipline

 

These silly wenches soon learn....  

 

 

 

(for those who are unable to recognise in being sarcastic - I'm just being sarcastic)

[Deepinthailand]

9 hours ago, Pdaz said:

 

Men are still in charge in Thailand.  It is easy to find a younger, sexier replacement if the GF or wife becomes a pain. So men tend to be less subservient and tolerate a lot less female BS than in the emasculated Western PC World. So u better man up, grow a pair and tell your missus the rules before arriving..  

Biggest load of bull I've ever heard you must be a man's man.  Machoist post of the week well done you  win a councillor fir the week.

[Ron19]

All of us are not like that. My wife and I have been together for 24 years and I have no intention of finishing our relationship.

Sent from my iris 755 using Tapatalk

[MobileContent]

6 hours ago, fanc said:

 

Fair enough.  That's between you guys.

 

A lot of the posts people make in here make it seem like the women involved aren't really even individual actors in the whole situation, you know what I mean?  Even the way that the OP's question is phrased is basically like "how do I train my dog?" You know?  Like how would a bunch of random people on a forum be able to tell you how to control your wife/girlfriend/whatever? Why should we?

 

The Farang Pub section is the place to post sarcastic posts. Any way on a lot of issues I agree with you, but Farang Pub is the wrong section to post.

[mikosan]

6 hours ago, Donutz said:

I agree Fanc, but it seems that this forum attracks a good number of trolls, grumphy men and old farts with old fashioned views (dating back to the 1950's or even as far as the stone age). Oh and let's forget those who think that any Thai women, especially those with a farang, can be bought...

I've got plenty of bruses dropping out of my chair over such posts. I don't venture into this area of the forum often but I kinda got used to it. To me some of the relationships or 'relationships' described seem like absolute horror to me. I'm glad that I had a charming wife who saw me as much her equal as I saw her. No boss, not being a 'daddy' (would be kinda hard with me being younger than her 555). The topic starter could very well be a troll, but some of the posts are very much with serious undertone. But to each their own, if two people are in a relationship on an other basis than love, trust and equals, fine by me. Ofcourse if both are fine with the arrangement and atleast have some level of respect for eachother. Such a relation would be absolute hell to me but those posters might find a relationship like I had absolute horror and self destructive. They probably got dumped by an ex who took a lot from them and they lost trust in women? Or see Thai women as different were as I do not, finding 'culture' overrated. Culture is a thin layer of cloth, most is determined by personality, intelligence and a persons past.  My love was just a fantastic person, nothing different or the same to her as any other women on this planet. She happend to be 'Thai' but that was just a label. Met her by chanche and I do have a weakness for asian females but I don't buy into the 'they are different' stories. It's all about finding that perfect person, lover, match. 

Had, implies past tense. Given how nicely you have written about her, that would be a shame.  You were obviously very lucky.

[georgemandm]

10 hours ago, fanc said:

I'm pretty new to this forum, my wife and I are considering moving to Thailand next year - depending on life factors - but we'll end up there for a year or two at some point.

 

Anyway, to get to the point I notice a lot of the guys in this forum basically talk about their girlfriends and wives as if they're property.  It's kinda shocking to read, and really not all that surprising that a lot of you guys are pretty miserable.  Like how do you expect to have a halfway decent relationship with a person you don't even really consider to be a person?

 

i'm not sure if OP is trolling, but it doesn't really seem all that out of line with a lot of the other posts in here.

I will give this to you about thai woman if you give them everything, it will never ever be a nuff .

Keep them mean keep them keen.

you will go a long way if you think like that .

i have told my thai wife the day she is not happy she can leave at any time up to her and the same go's for me .

i respect my wife and she respect me , but I do lots for her to make her happy and not the cars not the homes and not the gold like lots do .

she wants all that she will have to work to make it .

[richard_smith237]

20 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

I will give this to you about thai woman if you give them everything, it will never ever be a nuff .

Keep them mean keep them keen.

you will go a long way if you think like that .

i have told my thai wife the day she is not happy she can leave at any time up to her and the same go's for me .

i respect my wife and she respect me , but I do lots for her to make her happy and not the cars not the homes and not the gold like lots do .

she wants all that she will have to work to make it .

 

This post is priceless... 

 

You keep your Wife Mean ?... just to keep her Keen ?....  I think you've missed use the phrase 'Treat them mean and keep 'em keen'...

 

... but you also respect your wife and she respects you ? then why would you need to treat her mean? or keep her mean ? or whatever it is you meant to write ?

 

Or... do you mean she only respects you because you 'treat her mean' ?.... How do you 'treat her mean' ? the odd backhand ?

[pgrahmm]

3 hours ago, freebyrd said:

 

Thais understand logic?!

 

Actually they do & can.....

But that's why I used the word deftly....You have to explain in a cross cultural manner.....They can be accepting a quick on the uptake (which we've all witnessed in countless other situations) once a value or idea is put to them - but not like a round house farang hook from left field.....

 

These threads are rife with anecdotes of farangs that can't seem to grasp the Thai way of thinking.....Which is usually that farangs shortcoming.....

 

It's the same for them only in reverse.....We are very much as big a mystery to them......

 

But many times if a logical example or end game can be coveyed they're quicker at least to consider & give it a go - a lot are goal oriented.....

Sometimes once they get it they are almost enthusiastically unstoppable when pieces start falling into place....

 

And, just like people everywhere - some are really beyond reach.....

[uptoyoumyfriend]

give her a mirror?

[georgemandm]

13 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

This post is priceless... 

 

You keep your Wife Mean ?... just to keep her Keen ?....  I think you've missed use the phrase 'Treat them mean and keep 'em keen'...

 

... but you also respect your wife and she respects you ? then why would you need to treat her mean? or keep her mean ? or whatever it is you meant to write ?

 

Or... do you mean she only respects you because you 'treat her mean' ?.... How do you 'treat her mean' ? the odd backhand ?

you have lean for your self not up to me to tell .

backhand are you just joking or being a smart C??? , ? .

 

[smo]

1) Last night I said bon voyage to my dear thirty-something thai lady friend, who is like a little sister to me (actually I'm old enough to be her dad).

Her english - both verbal and written - is way above avearge, she still looks pretty (but beginning to show wears), an attractive and "educated" isan girl if there's a category for that. She has quit her office job, given up her room in town, and came to say goodbye. She is going to Europe for another whirlwind tour with her 40-something yankee boyfriend stationing in Germany whom she first "discovered" two years ago on dating sites. This is gonna be their second whirlwind tour in a year. I call them the "honeymooners" because he has no intention to marry/settle down whatsoever. Yeah, he can send her money to tide her over whenever she needs it here in Thailand (working for the US industrial military complex has its advantages, one of which is keeping an oriental mistress on the side). When they're together she simply plays wifey and he uses fool-proof condoms. 

 

Last night I asked her if there's ever any serious talk about a future together, she said no. Why? she dared not bring the subject up. There's a plan of sort with her moving with him back to his us hometown in the undetermined future, though as she told it sounds riddled with contingencies. At her now ex-work, her boss worked her to the bones. The night before she had to stay at their office till 3am to finish up the transition to her replacement. She keeps her mom back in the moo baan in the dark, telling her everything is hunky dory. The old lady cries every time she comes home for a visit still in her unmarried state. She has (or had) an abusive dad, her mom simply did what she was told  all her life, no question asked. My friend's explanation to me: "That's Thai culture!"

 

2) Being a gay man, I can't help but often noticing the expression on a Thai female face when she walks next to her older farang partner or sits across him at a food court: firmly stoic, a shade dour, no eye contact but staring at her iphone (if she's still young-ish) or through some inner space (if older), probably at the yoke fate has put on her. Conversation if at all tends to be monosyllabic. When there is a kid or two in the picture the situation relaxes somewhat, I guess because the parties finally find something genuine they can both focus on. (Also the guy tends to be younger to be in the child-rearing stage.)

 

[You might say what being gay has to do with the observation, I feel that a straight guy might not have noticed or just taken it for granted - can be wrong. I myself, on the other hand, have given up being the boss, ie no longer bothering to keep a perpetually in-revolt houseslave. Been there, done that. I save my nowaday-limited reservoir of energy - and liquid  asset - for the weekend admission-fee orgy instead ]

 

Finally, the reason I joined this discussion simply because of the goodbye I had to say to my dear friend last night. Therefore the topic here - who's the boss/thai culture - has struck a nerve. I guess in the back of my mind I'm still searching for a "prognosis" of her "predicamment." That of being a "woman in love"...

[DSJPC]

Don Mega...if u think that video shows "how to show the Thai gf who's boss", u are a sick individual!!!

[Toscano]

You will have a job on to show your g/f that you are boss .  My advice is to keep the present relationship rather than marry .

Money and gold are the chief operatives , withhold the money if she doesn't tow the line .

[212Roger]

9 hours ago, fanc said:

 

Even if your relationship is entirely a financial transaction, you should still treat the other person with some dignity.  They aren't your property any more than an employee is property.  If you think of employees as property you're going to have a bad time as an employer.

 

 

What are you keeping her around for then? You don't sound all that attached.

 

 

Heh I assume you're being a bit ironic, but I don't really see why men should be in charge anyway.  Not that women should be in charge, either.   In a relationship it's better to be (at least I've found in my life) in an equal relationship where both partners respect each other than one where you have to lay out ground rules like you're her father.

There can only be one Captain per ship.

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, georgemandm said:

you have lean for your self not up to me to tell .

backhand are you just joking or being a smart C??? , ? .

 

 

It gets better....   

 

Is there a direct link between intelligence and how 'mean' or 'dominant' we are with our favoured others ?

[Agent Sumo]

2 hours ago, georgemandm said:

I will give this to you about thai woman if you give them everything, it will never ever be a nuff .

Keep them mean keep them keen.

you will go a long way if you think like that .

i have told my thai wife the day she is not happy she can leave at any time up to her and the same go's for me .

i respect my wife and she respect me , but I do lots for her to make her happy and not the cars not the homes and not the gold like lots do .

she wants all that she will have to work to make it .

 

You're talking about the kind of Thai woman you have to pay a salary, george. 

 

Not everyone has to do that - some Thai women genuinely want to be with their partners, not scratch around under the table waiting for the odd treat

[Guy360]

Easy!   Bring home 5 ladies who are younger and prettier that your current Thai (wife, live-in, rental), line them up all in one row,  and say you need her advice on which lady you should be with if and when your relationship ends.

[ableguy]

13 hours ago, fanc said:

I'm pretty new to this forum, my wife and I are considering moving to Thailand next year - depending on life factors - but we'll end up there for a year or two at some point.

 

Anyway, to get to the point I notice a lot of the guys in this forum basically talk about their girlfriends and wives as if they're property.  It's kinda shocking to read, and really not all that surprising that a lot of you guys are pretty miserable.  Like how do you expect to have a halfway decent relationship with a person you don't even really consider to be a person?

 

i'm not sure if OP is trolling, but it doesn't really seem all that out of line with a lot of the other posts in here.

Best you stay at home , your knowledge of this country is nil , zero, nada.

[bazza40]

I don't set rules. I simply give my Thai GF what I think she needs, not what she wants. If she wants something excessive ( rare ) I just say cannot. I respect her religion, even though it means a lot of trips to temples.

 

She looks after me very well. I certainly don't regard her as property. We make one another happy, which is all that counts.

 

Showing a person who is boss is for control freaks.

[tomyumchai]

On Sunday, August 28, 2016 at 3:39 PM, Donutz said:

Oh that's easy: you get on all fours, look at her feet and say "chai khap, chai khap". 

 

Or if you are in a normal relationship: you talk together and do all the fun and not so fun things  (choirs) together. 

Did you mean karaoke? Id rather do chores round the house.....

[tomyumchai]

Just place her infront a mirror......then remind her that the mirror dont have no atm cards and the reflection can change overnight.

[bazza40]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

This post is priceless... 

 

You keep your Wife Mean ?... just to keep her Keen ?....  I think you've missed use the phrase 'Treat them mean and keep 'em keen'...

 

... but you also respect your wife and she respects you ? then why would you need to treat her mean? or keep her mean ? or whatever it is you meant to write ?

 

Or... do you mean she only respects you because you 'treat her mean' ?.... How do you 'treat her mean' ? the odd backhand ?

Now now, George is simply transplanting the mores of his Mediterranean origins to Thailand and Australia. Works for him, not so sure about those around him.

[bazza40]

5 hours ago, MissAndry said:

 

I haven't noticed any old white guys worthy of loving for themselves in Thailand.

I guess there must be one or two around, but the other 99.9% seem to be OK with paying.

I haven't noticed any old white women worthy of loving for themselves either. They could never pay me enough to get in the sack with them.

Just wondering where you got the 99.9 % statistic from. The kind of exaggeration I've come to expect.

[callaway]

I sincerely hope all you guys are tongue in cheek with these comments. Some obviously are but others I am not sure. Then again for those guys, I guess having a lady that has had half the visiting men tourists at some time, then I guess that seems ok to them. Get out of the bars and meet decent ladies. There are many ladies in Thailand that are beautiful, smart and good hearted. I know because I married one and am due to have a baby with her soon. After 6 years together we still very rarely go any where without the other. Maybe I will go to hardware shop to buy something alone, but generally she will be with me even for that. I love that. If my Thai mates ask for me to go somewhere then the first question is "Its ok to bring the wife?". If not I do not go. They all know now that its both or neither. We do not have a boss in our relationship. Generally she will say for me to make the final decision but I will tell her that we must decide together. Mostly ends up my way but sometimes I will agree her way, if we do differ. That is usually when we are choosing color schemes for the house or shop or tiles etc. She is the first to admit she cannot plan like that. All in all she is my mate. I wish you guys could enjoy the same and be happy then this TV would not be full of such miserable old farts.

[Pdaz]

5 hours ago, Deepinthailand said:

Biggest load of bull I've ever heard you must be a man's man.  Machoist post of the week well done you  win a councillor fir the week.

 

Don't need a Councillor. Been with my wife for 11 years. We have a great relationship. She is a very bright independent woman. Has her own property and her own business ( pale skin too, don't ya know). We share household chores and the upkeep of our garden. I'm often away on business, she travels overseas with friends and family. We have mutual respect and trust. She still prefers to seek my advice on many things and often defers to my decision. Of course my decisions take her needs into account too.

Nothing wrong with one of us taking the lead. Every ship needs a captain.

Funny how that somehow infers to you that I'm a overbearing svengali. When it might actually mean I'm very secure in my relationship and myself and my wife have a good sense of humour.

 

BTW. I have never previously been married, divorced, badly treated by women or been embitttered, potless or impoverished. I'm also tall, well built. very good looking and have a huge **** 

 

Now back to your luke warm Leo..Nothing to see here

Edited August 29, 2016 by Pdaz

[mrfaroukh]

Here specially and almost everywhere in the world the only way to show you are the boss is CASH, MONEY, GOLD, BIG CAR, LARGE HOUSE, BIG BANK ACCOUNT.

 

If you have it then you are the boss if not no way you can show them here that you are the boss. You are just a Falang