How to show the Thai gf who's boss?

[Donutz]

11 hours ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

you cant really have a conventional relationship with a thai girl and most guys support their girls to keep them out of the bars, rice fields and factories. this ends up with a boss employee type of relationship where they guy screws around and expects his girl to not do the same. very very rarely works.

lots of fantastic replies so far. in fact i think i used up my weekly quota of likes on this one topic.

i would add put them on a fixed income and stick to it no matter who is dying or needs an operation. like someone said dont beat them, for some reason foreigners are not allowed to do that although it seems to work for the thais.

I think you're talking about a certain type of relationship. The type not based on love as it's founding pilar but for other things such as security, taking care or other needs (money, sex). Obviously in a genuine love relationship you don't want to play boss.

 

And even if one is  in such an alternative relationship (to each their own), a good boss isn't about ordering people around but earning trust, respect. They may make though decisions but a ship who has a crew that doesn't trust or respect their captain will be doomed to sink to the bottom of the ocean. 

 

9 hours ago, lord john said:

I must agree with Donutz. I have been in a relationship with a Thai lady for almost four years now. I find it's not so much me being the boss in our relationship, as her expecting me to be the decision maker in most instances. She tends to consider me before anything else. At first I could not understand it like, how she stopped me doing my own laundry because she would lose face for not taking good care of her man. But when you are in Thailand you must be accepting of the differences and not be constantly seeking to poo poo their ways. Lest you be unhappy. 

Sounds fair enough. Certainly not a bossy boss type of relationship and more of a democracy. In my own relationship there was no real decision maker. Sometimes it would be the two of us, sometimes her, sometimes me. Ofcourse after talking and speaking about all the pro's and con's.

 

8 hours ago, Michael8511 said:

so agree with above poster Donutz. And for me you are not buying a pet or companion. The relation have to be a 2 sided street, you both have to agree with each other's as equal. My partner do the cooking and cleaning since he likes it, otherwise we talk about things and have an open and honest discussion. I don't think he is different just because he's Asian, they may think more about taking care of their elderly and I think it's a good thing that they respect their parents and take care of them since it's almost no security for them. He take care of his mother together with his 3 siblings and contribute 1.500 bath a month for her and a nephew that go to school and live with her. We go once every 2 weeks to Lotus and buy water, beer, juice, cleaning, personal items like shampoo etc. and washing detergent. Food we buy from the local market near Coloseum, eat mostly Fish, vegetables and fruit but they also have meat there and if we need pork we buy it there. All this we do together, otherwise it's mostly I who like to go out once in a while. He have no demand on getting money to buy something or getting something because he's with me. He do that because he like it as any relation in the west.

if your girlfriend starting to demand things it's time to have a serious talk with her and explain that you are not interested in a relation where she takes command and deside about spendings, it have to be a mutual thing otherwise you look for someone else.

its a lot of gold diggers out there and if she's one of those you are worth a better catch. The bars are full.

I agree, there should be no demands, only mutual agreement and respect. 

 

8 hours ago, csabo said:

We were walking back to the car after movie last night and I asked her if she knew where the car was. She said "when I'm with you I use my brain zero percent."  Mission accomplished

If you are smart you let her drive, so you can enjoy a beverage. And the other time around swap rolls. 

 

7 hours ago, mikosan said:

Had, implies past tense. Given how nicely you have written about her, that would be a shame.  You were obviously very lucky.

It sadly is. Less then a year ago I became widowed. I was very lucky, I treasure every thought of the 5 years we were together. Some people see me (a young man) and may ask about my relationship status. The easiest and hardest is to be frank about it and say I lost my beloved wife. There are other fish in the sea but I was very lucky with this catch, just as she was with catching me. And knowing I made pretty much all of her days worthwhile for her, well that pleased me. I only wish I could have granted more of her, our, wishes.  Life simply ain't fair, so stay positive smile, help others, don't pay attention to silly grumphy buggers and enjoy. I did, I try to do. I will smile daily but I no longer worry about death. If I wouldn't wake up tomorrow that would not be a bad thing, not for me though it would devestate my loved ones. Thinking of it, in a way it's better that she slipped away (in an instant, without pain or awarness that all was over for her). If it was me who had passed away instead of her... the thought of knowing that that would destroy her heart and life.. that's devestating. I wouldn't want any person to feel such pain.

[metisdead]

An offensive and profane video has been removed as well as the replies.  Advocating the type of behavior exhibited in the removed video toward women is just not on.  

 

Closed