The Week That Was in Thailand News: Living in Thailand – it’s almost too good for words.

[rooster59]

The Week That Was in Thailand News: Living in Thailand – it’s almost too good for words.

 

 

Yawn…it was just more of the same incompetence and avoidable accidents. No less than twelve deaths of tourists swept away by the sea at sandy beaches in a matter of days. No proper lifeguards in attendance, a public who have no responsibility for themselves. A pedestrian overpass collapses on a motorway – delays for 24 hours while they try and clear up the mess caused by the idiot truck driver that careered into it. Will the driver or the authority own up? Neither, I expect. Then a major firm collapses, too, plunging thousands of hoodwinked investors who trusted the corrupt big guys, into uncertainty.

With all the above it was somewhat of a relief to leave the UK and get back to the relative normality of Thailand after my summer break…. Yes, all of the above were headline makers in just one August week in England reminding me how I hate those posters on Thaivisa who are perpetually burbling on about “it could only be Thailand”.

I am not a Thai apologist – I usually only say sorry to the cops who catch me on my bike in the outside lane, mainly because it saves me money. But I get tired of the constant knocking of my adopted homeland – it’s not perfect but at least it’s rollickingly good fun. And while life expectancy may be a few decades less what with the roads and all, at least we will go up the chimney smiling. So goodbye UK for another year, don’t wait up…..

Happily back in Thailand I am at a bit of a loss where to begin this week’s column – as the news unfolds I usually make notes of the stories I might feature and this usually constitutes a side in my notebook. When I looked on Friday it had already stretched to three – perhaps I was homesick but there really seemed so much to enjoy on the Thaivisa pages this week.

And the standard of journalism on the site seems to be on the rise; it can’t just be modest moi…

First up, I must praise the prime minister (read nothing in to my use of lower case in his title). I refer to His laudable initiative to stop those finger pointing press briefings where Somchai the thief couldn’t plead not guilty if he tried and Frank the Nigerian scammer is always well hung before he is even charged…..

Yes, laudable indeed to start thinking about human rights when it must be tough when you have absolute power over the happiness of the people. Interesting as well, when every police force in the land promptly ignored his edict (unless you count the rozzers showing drug suspects as Pokemon characters yesterday).

Fear not, sir! At least I was happy, because those briefings would be so tedious without the glum faced miscreants owning up to everything. And the odd lynching by relatives on the suspects is a great standby in case True ever cut off my cable soaps because I am a nanosecond late with their bill demands.

Not in need of the press parade was a drug dealer in Kanchanaburi – kind hearted cops spared him that humiliation my filling him with lead via his back. A few came out the other side and wounded his wife who he had taken hostage – maybe they don’t vow “until death do us part” at a Thai wedding. She only parted with her ring finger.

The obligatory hail of bullets mentioned in the story reminded me of a Thai proverb I used to teach my students – riding an elephant to catch a grasshopper.

Message to cops from British resident who knows a smidgeon of Thai culture: perhaps next time just wait until the suspect gets hungry and waft the smell of Som Tam with fermented fish in his direction. He would be bound to give himself up – no Thai I have ever met can miss meals. Trust me, I’m a foreigner.

Not missing meals but perhaps having similar ones for a decade or three were naughty people jailed this week; Sondhi started a twenty year stretch. I am neither yellow nor red, just a boring orange, but having heard one of his speeches a couple of years back I thought the sentence was about right.

Which is more than can be said for the Aussie and the Brit who have about 50 years to contemplate the joy they brought with their ecstasy. The authorities even suggested that the Aussie could be repatriated to his homeland in six years – now that really is cruel.

I would far rather do my time in a Thai cell – surely I could do a bit of English teaching to make ends meet and get some special treatment. Convicts should learn the language along with the rest of the population, don’t you think.

Also learning new tricks – though you’d think they would have mastered most of them by now – are the met police. Commander Sanit was head honcho at the launch of the “Smart Police” project aimed to get police to do their job, sorry, do it better.

The sight of a top cop using a bit of PVC pipe to subdue a suspect and cornering a python with a stick really reassured me that all is well in the Land of Smiles. For if not exactly safe at least there is a fair chance we will all die laughing.

Unsurprisingly no Thai has ever laughed at my intercultural toilet joke – when standing outside the gent’s where it says “Men” I am wont to say - I am not going in there…it says it smells. Men? Smelly in Thai? No? Tumbleweed.

But two pervs this week didn’t even care which was the ladies and which was the gents – a Chiang Mai based Frenchman (called Pees-er, no less) was soon arrested after videoing the females over the cubicle and a taxi driver stooped lower, presumably under the door of the stall, to film then post an extortion note on the lady’s car door handle.

Those “Smart Police” had the bright idea to get the lady to call the number on the scrap of paper and hey presto – the Darwinian driver turns up to collect his 3,000 baht. Though in his case collect a 3,000 baht fine morelike, as much for perverting the gene pool as perversion itself.

Several surveys did the rounds this week though forum posters who refused to believe they were blissfully happy a while back inevitably pooh-poohed the results. First was the news that residents in the North commit suicide more – of course they do, they are not in lovely Bangkok are they…duh.

Then out came the so called “Happy Index” of Thailand. This time Surat rated top with Bangkok languishing in 30th. Surprisingly the most miserable was Phuket (pronounced ‘fuk-et’ as the UK’s Sun newspaper trumpeted many years ago) – I heard there was dancing in the streets in Pattaya when the news broke. Until the tanked-up celebrants were assaulted by lady boys and went back to being as miserable as their southern brethren

Not much chance of that now that in Hua Hin now it has been declared safe again in the “Protect Hua Hin” drive. Some 358 police and such turned out to promote this on Friday night – I just hope the area crims didn’t have advance warning of the copper-less intersections.

In Pattaya itself the saga of the Nang Fa karaoke lounge got even more beguiling. Now it appears that the cops who went there to extort money back in July and ended up with the head of police on the owner’s phone, may have had a point.

The owner looks like she may be related to Lady Kai in terms of mischief while a woman in her employ looks every bit as suspect. It seems one or the other sold a 13 year old girl into the sex trade; perhaps it’s not surprising that the woman with the commissioner as a pal is free while the employee is banged up already. Stay tuned to Thaivisa for more on that soap in the coming weeks.

And so to the real news – forget that one about the Pang Nga land official who died in DSI custody, that sort of thing is so yesterday – no, I mean Harold and his porn star wife Nong Nat. Almost a month out of the news and I was getting withdrawal symptoms and now they were back with a bang as curvy Nat sat by scurvy Harold’s bedside as he appeared at death’s door suffering from….wait for it….a common cold contracted from a goodnight kiss. More OTT than ICU as the ribald reporter noted.

I felt a wave of sympathy for the US businessman at having such an airhead for a wife but I do hope they both pull through. Life would not be the same without them both – Harong and Nat that is, not those enhanced things on her chest.

At which point I would just like to address the American poster who had a go at me for rudeness on the forum last week. Just to let you know it’s called ‘satire’, my friend; you can find it in the dictionary somewhere between Clinton and Trump.

A more serious item that tweaked my interest this week was the Thai doctor who criticized his compatriots for their attitude towards soi dogs as the rabies debate hit fever pitch following more recent deaths. The doc was literally foaming at the mouth in his condemnation of the people who feed these mutts for merit then cry wolf as they savage the neighbor’s kids outside 7-11.

Fair play to you doctor – I always had faith that there must be at least one person in a white coat who wasn’t a complete twit.

Finally it was two airline stories that got me high on humor.

In the first, AirAsia CEO Tony Fernandez flew into town to say that his cabin crew were not forced to prostrate themselves in apology every time someone onboard feels slighted. It was the employee’s choice to go on her hands and knees in the aisle, he pointed out. Freedom of movement for the employee and the boss’s own apology only served to promote what could become the company’s new slogan: “Now Everybody Can Grovel”.

And lastly, I loved the story of the two passengers from York (not New York as in the headline, the older one in the UK) who found themselves as the solitary passengers on a flight from Krabi going abroad to Penang in Malaysia.

I half expected the tourism minister Khun Kobkarn to take advantage of the image of the empty plane by saying: “See! Hardly anyone wants to leave Thailand – it’s just too good for words”.

She missed a trick there.

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2016-09-11

[wotsdermatter]

You forgot to mention the Air Asia flight that went the wrong way although, eventually, it ended up in the right place.  What am I talking about?  Well, the aircraft went from Sydney to Melbourne, by pilot error after he, instead of the co-pilot, entered the wrong flight coordinates into the flight computer.  Eventually, the plane did arrive at the original destination, several hours late.

[gamini]

A good article. Problem with a lot of TV posters who criticize and bash Thailand is that they have never lived anywhere else and don't seem to realise that the same sort of things happen in many other places including their own country

[aslimversgwm]

As always this brightened my Sunday afternoon  and it needs brightening as it's currently drizzling and grey here in Fa Ham, Chiang Mai - just like it is in England on most days and that's another thing the Thai knockers forget about why they left their home country's - the glorious weather we usually enjoy here in  the LOS!

[shadmo63]

8 hours ago, wotsdermatter said:

You forgot to mention the Air Asia flight that went the wrong way although, eventually, it ended up in the right place.  What am I talking about?  Well, the aircraft went from Sydney to Melbourne, by pilot error after he, instead of the co-pilot, entered the wrong flight coordinates into the flight computer.  Eventually, the plane did arrive at the original destination, several hours late.

Aaah, Edwin Maher with the late news.....some reports didn't say it, but that happened in March 2015

Edited September 11, 2016 by shadmo63

[slippery snake]

12 minutes ago, aslimversgwm said:

As always this brightened my Sunday afternoon  and it needs brightening as it's currently drizzling and grey here in Fa Ham, Chiang Mai - just like it is in England on most days and that's another thing the Thai knockers forget about why they left their home country's - the glorious weather we usually enjoy here in  the LOS!

I'm living in Patong, and even when it's pouring rain and windy, it is still warm..   Still just wear shorts and tee shirt,  just need an umbrella,   back in NZ I would have on a singlet, shirt, jersey, jacket and probably a scarf around my neck,  and I'm from a warmer part of NZ..  No thoughts of going back !!!! 

[themerg]

Thailand is EXCELLENT.

 

[Odin Norway]

11 hours ago, wotsdermatter said:

You forgot to mention the Air Asia flight that went the wrong way although, eventually, it ended up in the right place.  What am I talking about?  Well, the aircraft went from Sydney to Melbourne, by pilot error after he, instead of the co-pilot, entered the wrong flight coordinates into the flight computer.  Eventually, the plane did arrive at the original destination, several hours late.

What do Air Asia have to do with Thailand? Do you just guess its Thai owned because they operate in the country?

[212Roger]

7 hours ago, slippery snake said:

I'm living in Patong, and even when it's pouring rain and windy, it is still warm..   Still just wear shorts and tee shirt,  just need an umbrella,   back in NZ I would have on a singlet, shirt, jersey, jacket and probably a scarf around my neck,  and I'm from a warmer part of NZ..  No thoughts of going back !!!! 

I love the rain in Thailand; awesome...

[wotsdermatter]

9 hours ago, Odin Norway said:

What do Air Asia have to do with Thailand? Do you just guess its Thai owned because they operate in the country?

There was a photograph showing AIR ASIA Thailand on it and it was reported as such.  Of course, it could have been a slip-up or a joke by an unknown person.

[rololo88]

Thailand is really that great to live in?

Actually i wanted to buy properties and move there, until i register to thaivisa.com, since then i received so many horrible news every days that i don't really feel safe at all now to move there with my family

[seabear]

Rooster, if one day you'll write a book, I'll buy it.

[kmj]

If they could only get a handle on all the corruption and cover ups here, but I guess a traffic jam due to a bridge collapse and a company going bust are more important...

[neeray]

Attention Rololo88 ... Don't let the sour puss, unhappy Thai bashers scare you off.  Check it out first hand. Thailand is safe if you go to the right places. Thaivisa is a good resource but not the "end all, be all". 

[SiSePuede419]

19 hours ago, rololo88 said:

Thailand is really that great to live in?

Actually i wanted to buy properties and move there, until i register to thaivisa.com, since then i received so many horrible news every days that i don't really feel safe at all now to move there with my family

Thailand is a great place to live.  If you don't buy property.

 

555

[joecoolfrog]

Thailand is what it is , gotta take the good with the bad .Not really sure though what point there is in pretending that Thailand is comparable to Western countries in terms of ' accidents '. 

2013 Total drownings in UK 381. For the same year drownings in Thailand of just CHILDREN 2,650 !

If the OP wants to make a point in future , perhaps he should use a less tragic one.

Edited September 12, 2016 by joecoolfrog
spelling

[joeyg]

On 9/12/2016 at 7:27 AM, rololo88 said:

Thailand is really that great to live in?

Actually i wanted to buy properties and move there, until i register to thaivisa.com, since then i received so many horrible news every days that i don't really feel safe at all now to move there with my family

Good thinking.  You wouldn't like it.  It's awful.