Romancing a Thai woman

[ScotBkk]

 

So true.  The OP should understand that if the woman doesn't love you, no amount of romance is going to change that. 

Too true

They say that love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with kisses lol

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[Rupert Pupkin]

Same as Western, though Asian women can have a hard time displaying emotion even though they may feel good. I'll tell you guys a fun fact! All of us have heard of Kylie Jenner right but nobody knows she is form Thailand actually. Check this out Kylie Jenner Hot Photos From Thailand. 

Other than that I feel it's waste of time dating Thai girls. 

Genuinely making them laugh, smelling and looking good, and finding that sweet-spot help is a really hard thing.

Edited October 13, 2016 by Rupert Pupkin

[off road pat]

12 hours ago, Henryford said:

Just show her your bank book - works with ALL women.

Nah,...Simplistic,...works with all woman you know !!! not all woman !!!

[Mekong Thunder]

2 hours ago, rjwill01 said:

I have been in the same situation here. Very little emotion, most don't like sex or touching. Buying little gifts, or going out to eat doesn't work. Two things really work on Thai women.  Som Tum and MONEY. The later works everytime. 

 

Mine is always telling me to go out and have sex, and she means it. All she ask is that I don't have a relationship and to only go to a bar girl. So now I go to the store a lot more. Anything to please my honey. 

Sounds like it's time to move on,if you have no kids then why stick around I just don't see the point?
Both of you can find someone that you love and want to have sex with,instead of being locked into a loveless,sexless marriage of convenience!

[ScotBkk]

Sounds like it's time to move on,if you have no kids then why stick around I just don't see the point?
Both of you can find someone that you love and want to have sex with,instead of being locked into a loveless,sexless marriage of convenience!

I agree
Sounds a bit limp-wristed' Thailand is full of the 'Looking For Love' woman and I'm looking for an escape lol


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[Mekong Thunder]

3 minutes ago, ScotBkk said:

I agree
Sounds a bit limp-wristed' Thailand is full of the 'Looking For Love' woman and I'm looking for an escape lol


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She wants to take the money but doesn't want to give anything back,it sounds like a classic Western control freak relationship dump this selfish woman like a hot rock and find a hot new model!

[rogeroc]

11 hours ago, sturdyd said:

In my admittedly sparse experience with a variety of Thai women I've gotten the impression that romance is/was something that they either didn't understand or didn't care about. Same thing for seductiveness. It's just not on their radar. One example, where are the lingerie shops? My attempts at romance (candlelit baths and the like) that were so well-received by Western women were embarrassments with my Thai partners.

My now wife of 16 years used to come to bed wearing more clothes than she had on during the day! Okay, a little hyperbole, but not far from the truth. And even now, gifts (other than money or gold) are met with bemusement at best.

But let me add my standard disclaimer: I'm often full of sh*t and this may be one of those times.

 

 

Thai girls definitely like it if you light a candle but not for romance but because it gives them a laugh and they do like it. Re sexy lingerie a Thai girl will most readily wear for you but for sure you will have to buy for them ! And Thai ladies just love compliments. In summary let a Thai girls humour make up for a lack of romance.

Edited October 13, 2016 by rogeroc

[rogeroc]

6 hours ago, JAFO said:

 

So true VF.  Majority of women in any country look for humour, being polite, smile alot and of course dress appropriately. Thai women are no different.  And to your point having  had an interesting life that you can engage her with is a huge plus.  She will likely in return share that with you.  Of course as we all know it really boils down to the woman you met and how.

 

To the OPs question. What makes Thai women tick.....the answer is the same as all women,  just really need to know the gal you are with. All women are different. Age. Maturity. Worldly experiences. Education. Life experiences all have a bearing on it.

 

I agree with sentence 1 but after that much to straightforward JAFO, if only it were like that! The reality is that what most women say they want in men (particularly the one about someone who wants to know me and understand me) they are dreadful about in return. Think about the women you have dated and how few actual really want to find out anything about your life other than about your financial resources, let alone contemplate trying to understand you!  Most of the time they are not even listening to you and i am not just referring to Thais. 

[Gracas]

Maybe time to get her a Thai boyfriend. None of your other gifts or actions appear to be working.

[The manic]

Thais do not do romance - a western conceived idea that owes more to Walt Disney than reality. Certainly Romance was unknown except to the Knight  Class before the industrial revolution.

[The manic]

1 hour ago, ScotBkk said:

Bang on
Good sex is like a nice wine. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.



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Er ...I think you mean ...is like bridge.. you need a good hand or a good partner!

[ScotBkk]

Same thing' in the end up lol


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[Autonuaq]

Depending on the woman of course.

 

in generally the same as the western.

 

you have to know that although the environment is different the package is different, the outlook is different.....

 

wake up and know  the rest is the same

If you not understand as well know that that ... ..

 

 

 

[F4UCorsair]

17 hours ago, Henryford said:

Just show her your bank book - works with ALL women.

 

Not If there's a low/nil balance!!

[Thailimpan]

7 hours ago, kenk24 said:

 

 

For many Thai, our Western view of romance just does not translate well. 

Yes - I guess that was the point I was trying to make, it just doesn't translate well, probably for the reasons you mentioned. 

[Thailimpan]

8 hours ago, sandemara said:

What makes you think Thai women are any different to women of any national when it comes to love and romance? I think the fact that you apparently think this is so is a big hindrance to your hopes and dreams; it is probably also achingly obvious to your lady love. So many men seem to forget women's ideas of love include various organs of the body -  the ears, eyes, mind, etc as well as the heart. Why not try being honest and ask some direct questions about love and romance in Thai culture?  People will forgive clumsiness if honesty and sincerity is apparent. Much better than wasting time.

I do not think that Thai women are different when it comes to love and romance - not at all - it may just take different expressions for certain things.  My relationship is great on so many different levels, it is loving, romantic, respectful, full of lust and we have a really great time. I was just making a small observation that when I try to do the extraordinary (not the day to day romance) it doesn't have the expected effect. 

[neeray]

20 hours ago, sturdyd said:

In my admittedly sparse experience with a variety of Thai women I've gotten the impression that romance is/was something that they either didn't understand or didn't care about. Same thing for seductiveness. It's just not on their radar. One example, where are the lingerie shops? My attempts at romance (candlelit baths and the like) that were so well-received by Western women were embarrassments with my Thai partners.

My now wife of 16 years used to come to bed wearing more clothes than she had on during the day! Okay, a little hyperbole, but not far from the truth. And even now, gifts (other than money or gold) are met with bemusement at best.

But let me add my standard disclaimer: I'm often full of sh*t and this may be one of those times.

For a man that self deprecates himself by saying "I'm often full of sh*t", I think you've spoken a lot of truth in your observations. 

As a North American westerner, I'm accustomed to buck naked in bed, both me and my partner, not just during the act. "More clothes than she had on during the day", been there too many times! I don't seem to be able to sell them on the merits of nakedness. 

Lingerie ... Thai girls would be so awesome in this giddup but as you note, seductiveness is just not on their radar. 

Pitty. 

 

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, Thailimpan said:

Yes - I guess that was the point I was trying to make, it just doesn't translate well, probably for the reasons you mentioned. 

 

And I guess the point that some others made is the importance of getting to know someone and what is important to them, what is it that she wants from life and what is it that will make her happy. And this is not something that every woman will talk about, sometimes you have to figure it out, learn from observation. For my wife, a typical rural Thai, it was family. And it did take me a while to figure out just how important that was for her... 

 

So, keep your eyes open and best of luck to you... 

[metisdead]

Some crude posts and replies have been removed, let's keep the discussion out of the gutter please. 

[JAFO]

10 hours ago, rogeroc said:

The reality is that what most women say they want in men (particularly the one about someone who wants to know me and understand me) they are dreadful about in return. Think about the women you have dated and how few actual really want to find out anything about your life other than about your financial resources, let alone contemplate trying to understand you!  Most of the time they are not even listening to you and i am not just referring to Thais. 

 

Noted Rogeroc. But I still say its all about the woman one chooses. I dated very selectively and in contrast to what you said above, many cared about what I did for fun. I had many ask what are things I like to do, I asked them the same. I mean how in the world do people actually connect if they do not ask? Maybe that's the problem. they wait and find out then resent it.  For example, what if she absolutely refused to go travel and yet this was your passion. It would never work.

 

As for financial resources, again I also think its how you carry yourself when you are out and about with them. I have never had a woman ask me my financial status or what do I own etc etc ( including my wife now).  But in the end she did not have too. I was a gentleman and behaved as such.  I will say some have asked me  the company I work for or what do I do but that is general talk and I ask them the same. 

 

In the end men will never completely understand women and women will never understand men. I think far too many men do not take the time. Men are far to mesmerized with physical attributes and have blurred vision. I have numerous colleagues and friends that are like that and most of them have had terrible relationships because as we all know that physical lust wears off and then what?

Edited October 14, 2016 by JAFO

[JAFO]

1 hour ago, neeray said:

As a North American westerner, I'm accustomed to buck naked in bed, both me and my partner, not just during the act. "More clothes than she had on during the day", been there too many times! I don't seem to be able to sell them on the merits of nakedness. 

Lingerie ... Thai girls would be so awesome in this giddup but as you note, seductiveness is just not on their radar. 

Pitty. 

 

What some of you guys have experienced with your Thai wives and GF's I have not. In fact quite the opposite. There are so many elements that cause what Neeray mentioned above. While I will not go into my personal details about my wife, she is nothing like that in regards to clothes and bed time.

 

As for lingerie, man you guys need to get out more. There are loads of boutique shops around in Thailand. When we moved back to the US for a job I accepted my wife found and LOVES Victoria Secret...........

 

55 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

And I guess the point that some others made is the importance of getting to know someone and what is important to them, what is it that she wants from life and what is it that will make her happy. And this is not something that every woman will talk about, sometimes you have to figure it out, learn from observation. For my wife, a typical rural Thai, it was family. And it did take me a while to figure out just how important that was for her... 

 

Yes the importance is getting to know someone. Whats that saying "Fools rush in". The best part of dating is it gives one time to see how your partner behaves and their likes and dislikes and offers each plenty of time to go through that get to know each other period. I dated my now wife for well over a year before I knew we were a good match. But to KenK24's point, many women will not openly talk about things, that is the mans job to find a way to extract that from them and get them to open up. However if you can barely communicate with your GF or wife here in Thailand then it offers an entire new set of problems.

[villagefarang]

1 hour ago, JAFO said:

However if you can barely communicate with your GF or wife here in Thailand then it offers an entire new set of problems.

Many Thais have a very utilitarian vocabulary and limited grasp of foreign languages.  Some of what is perceived as an unwillingness to discuss some things may actually be down to an inability to express herself in your language and maybe even in her own.

[JAFO]

46 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

Many Thais have a very utilitarian vocabulary and limited grasp of foreign languages.  Some of what is perceived as an unwillingness to discuss some things may actually be down to an inability to express herself in your language and maybe even in her own.

 

So true VF. At the factory I run,  I sit in numerous meetings and I have found I need to let the folks speak Thai as there are no direct translated words and many time the message is completely lost when they attempt to speak it in English. They speak the words but do not entirely understand what it means. I know this must be the case with many of the women here in Thailand. They likely understand but can not express it in English as they struggle to convert the verbiage to where they can understand and I am only talking about English, what about German, Russian, Dutch, etc etc. Even my wife who speak English clearly still has times that she cannot translate it to where it makes sense. 

 

But again education, life exposure, age and many other elements have a huge bearing on it. Example would be that a working BKK professional woman with a degree will most definitely understand versus a rural gal with limited education.  One needs to keep that in mind and outside the physical attributes the man needs to think way bigger picture or be prepared later to complain that their partner is disconnected or doesn't understand. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[villagefarang]

21 minutes ago, JAFO said:

 

So true VF. At the factory I run,  I sit in numerous meetings and I have found I need to let the folks speak Thai as there are no direct translated words and many time the message is completely lost when they attempt to speak it in English. They speak the words but do not entirely understand what it means. I know this must be the case with many of the women here in Thailand. They likely understand but can not express it in English as they struggle to convert the verbiage to where they can understand and I am only talking about English, what about German, Russian, Dutch, etc etc. Even my wife who speak English clearly still has times that she cannot translate it to where it makes sense. 

 

But again education, life exposure, age and many other elements have a huge bearing on it. Example would be that a working BKK professional woman with a degree will most definitely understand versus a rural gal with limited education.  One needs to keep that in mind and outside the physical attributes the man needs to think way bigger picture or be prepared later to complain that their partner is disconnected or doesn't understand. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was in a taxi in Bangkok with my wife last week when the driver turned around and did a double take, because he thought he was talking with a Thai. Still there are many topics with which I struggle because I don’t have the vocabulary necessary to deal with the subject.  Many people overestimate the language ability of others, especially when they don’t speak the other person’s language.

[LannaGuy]

money

[ray richards]

Their are some good thai women,my long time girlfriend is kind & understanding,i support her with finance but she told me that during the present crisis with the GBP exchange rate being so low if i can just give her 2,000 bahts per month for some ladies items & toiletries she will be fine with that amount.

So that is a great lady in my eye's.

[Fabricus]

3 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

money

 

Yes, in 99% of cases that's what it comes down to.

 

It's amusing to see fools deceive themselves.

 

I wonder how many western men with "perfect relationships" are married to financially independent women with their own homes and cars. 

 

It's worth remembering that the most desirable Thai women get snapped early by Thai guys. Farangs get the leftovers. 

 

 

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎13‎.‎10‎.‎2016 at 9:53 AM, sturdyd said:

In my admittedly sparse experience with a variety of Thai women I've gotten the impression that romance is/was something that they either didn't understand or didn't care about. Same thing for seductiveness. It's just not on their radar. One example, where are the lingerie shops? My attempts at romance (candlelit baths and the like) that were so well-received by Western women were embarrassments with my Thai partners.

My now wife of 16 years used to come to bed wearing more clothes than she had on during the day! Okay, a little hyperbole, but not far from the truth. And even now, gifts (other than money or gold) are met with bemusement at best.

But let me add my standard disclaimer: I'm often full of sh*t and this may be one of those times.

At last a correct post.

In over 20 years I got to know more than a few Thai women, and none of them responded to "romance". I would take them to dinner on the sand under moonlight with the waves lapping gently on the shore, and it meant nothing, I would stay with them in rustic cabins on beautiful islands and it meant nothing, I bought them nice clothes and they only wore them once, I bought them flowers and it meant nothing. The only time their eyes would light up was when I was giving them money, and having given, I had accrued zero brownie points.

They like sex, but not interested in seduction.

I'm sure they like gold and other shiny things, but if that imparts brownie points I would be doubtful.

In my experience, "romance" begins and ends with the wallet.

Sure, there are some farangs that will swear their beloved is in it for love, and good luck to them, but not in my experience.

In a culture where a good looking uni educated hiso girl can fetch a great deal of dowry, everything is about money, IMO.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

PS. My wife enjoyed eating at pricier restaurants, and staying in nice hotels. She also like proper dancing, but as venues for such are non existent where we lived, it didn't happen much.

She did enjoy looking at growing flowers, but her main interest was always food and partying with her friends. Unfortunately, I didn't, so we never went together.

 

If I were you, I'd stick to eating out in nice places and listening if she wanted to say something. Never pick a fight though, as you might find she is unmoved by logic.

[Fabricus]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In over 20 years I got to know more than a few Thai women, and none of them responded to "romance". I would take them to dinner on the sand under moonlight with the waves lapping gently on the shore, and it meant nothing, I would stay with them in rustic cabins on beautiful islands and it meant nothing, I bought them nice clothes and they only wore them once, I bought them flowers and it meant nothing. The only time their eyes would light up was when I was giving them money, and having given, I had accrued zero brownie points.

 

They like sex, but not interested in seduction.

 

In my experience, "romance" begins and ends with the wallet.

Sure, there are some farangs that will swear their beloved is in it for love, and good luck to them, but not in my experience. In a culture where a good looking uni educated hiso girl can fetch a great deal of dowry, everything is about money, IMO.

 

 

That's a horrible post, but it's horrible because it's true.

 

I've done the same: moonlight swims followed by lingerie-clad adventures in the bedroom.

 

I've had two long term GFs over the last 17 years, and have spent serious cash on romantic underwear.

 

But it all means nothing. They just want you to get it off so they can take. That's the deal: you give; they take. It's incredibly selfish, but unfortunately one of the ways in which this country's version of Buddhism manifests itself.

 

Way too many westerners here will tell you their wife or GF is different. But it's all lies: the lies kick in the moment you start handing over the cash. If you want, you cant substitute the word "lies" for terms and phrases such as "self deception" or "self denial".

 

----------

 

Mr BeachLovers

 

I've followed many of your recent posts. You're obviously now single. Me too.

 

The difference between us might be that I've been through this before. I can see you're feeling slightly jaded.

 

Don't be. You're doing well. You're making an effort to understand things. 

 

The deal is this: you need to change your attitude; you need to toughen up.