federico Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Hello everybody, My wife and I plan to come and live in Thailand as soon as i'll retire, in a few years from now. I have two daughters here in France and they will be 21 and 25 when i expext to move to LOS. So far, i never felt like i would miss them thinking that skype would help to maintain relationship at a good level and that they wouldn't need their dad to be around anymore like they did when they were children. But now, i have a doubt about beeing so far from them though i know if that i st.ay in Paris, i will see them once a month or so, and they will have their own life of young adults to live without their father around whom i hope, they will not miss. I would like to know how you guys, who now live in Thailand and have children from your former life deal with this feeling. I feel a little guilty about that. Do you ? What is your experience about that ? Thanks for your return. Fred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhippy Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Hello Fred, My situation is - of course - different from yours. I retired and married a Thai woman 9 years ago, and ever since we have been living yearly 6 months in Thailand (the dry cool season) / 6 months in Europe (spring & summer). That works for me and for my wife. I could not imagine being happy living in Thailand or Europe full time, both have so much to offer, but also both lack many things. Maybe an idea for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 No. Although, I still love my family, but I don't really miss them that much, after all these years here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shot Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 (edited) I miss my family a little on occasion. We Skype every few months, and I visit once a year. I do miss talking with my best friend. We email daily, but that's not close to having lunch together and hitting the range for several hours. That said, I don't have children back home, I have children here. I can certainly understand your concern. Edited October 17, 2016 by Shot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinBoy2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I live full time here, and yes I miss my kids. That being said I speak with them several times a week via Hangouts, and I generally go back to the US at least twice a year for 3 or 4 weeks at a time. It's not that they are little, both are adult women. It's gotten to be a tad more problematic since one of my daughters moved to Boston while the other is still in California, but I'm working it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedghog Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I don't miss mine. Speak to my mother on a regular basis. Visited her last year. Haven't spoke to my kids in years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 No kids come across here once a year with my grandkids. We keep in touch as we would have done if I was still there. We lived at opposite end of the country so usualy only saw each other once maybe twice a year anyway. We are close and I do look forward to seeing them for a month when they come over. I would never go back to visit had enough of the old place nothing there for me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saakura Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Came to Thailand at a very young age and married to a person i met during the course of my work, been together 15yrs. When they were alive, used to talk to my parents several times a week and visit home twice a year with my family. Now keep in touch daily with brother, sisters and cousins through our family group chat. Visit them once a year in December holiday season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 No just imagine 25 years ago when even a telephone call was expensive, now with Skype you can bore them daily.....its way easier than it used to be, combined with flights which are even cheaper than they were 10 years ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman20 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Croc Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Family relationships vary. Some families live in each other's pockets on a daily basis and really shouldn't be separated by the tyranny of distance. Some families only get together on special occasions such as birthdays and Xmas and can cope with occasional skype contact and yearly or longer visits .. Other, perhaps dysfunctional, families rarely get together, other than at funerals. These people probably relish living on the other side of the world from each other. Which one are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwasaki Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 My view is the same as previous threads like this. No.......Family UK come and see me as well as some friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mania Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 (edited) Hi Fred You know we recently moved home but had stayed in Thailand over 4 years. I have kids the same age as yours. Although we did keep in touch by email & my calling since you can get a True Move Inter Sim & call international for 1 baht a minute But yes I did miss them & also know a relationship needs personal tending or really it does cease to be one Then recently my son had a daughter so of course we wanted to move back or visit for that. Since we kept our home here it was easy enough to move back too. Anyway what ever you decide good luck. It is a personal thing & depends on the individuals involved. You may note many foreigners in Thailand ran away from left things back home for various reasons ....some hurt & say they dont need it etc... But then praise the Thai's for their close knit family & caring ways etc. Funny that because it did not come free it was tended/nurtured Our problem is we have family in both places so are never 100% happy Good Luck to you Edited October 18, 2016 by mania Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Nope... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 My wife ,our son and my daughter all lived together in the UK , then my daughter got married and moved far away , that was when we decided to come to Thailand , i do miss my daughter as we were very close when she was young , but now she has a daughter and a husband of her own , we talk on the phone and text frequently and i go home once a year and they come here , so yes i miss her some but would never move back , home is where i lay my hat , or i should say where i laid my hair these days . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliss Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 4 hours ago, kannot said: No just imagine 25 years ago when even a telephone call was expensive, now with Skype you can bore them daily.....its way easier than it used to be, combined with flights which are even cheaper than they were 10 years ago I only bore my kids , once a week on Skype . Good to know , they dont miss me . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 8 minutes ago, elliss said: I only bore my kids , once a week on Skype . Good to know , they dont miss me . I call my Mother everyday sometimes twice since my Dad died after theyd been married 66 years, shes coming up for 90 now, still live on her own and takes care of herself, actually the daily call is to check shes ok more than anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ireland32 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Hell, No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akentryan Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 No. Not after 30 years. One sister who is 81 but not on a computer. Have a son who has one son and 2 adopted daughters. Stay in touch via Facebook and e-mails. Cousins, nieces,etc and long time friends love to visit me over here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e2x10 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarteso Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Well... You'll always have PARIS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAFO Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 15 hours ago, GinBoy2 said: I live full time here, and yes I miss my kids. That being said I speak with them several times a week via Hangouts, and I generally go back to the US at least twice a year for 3 or 4 weeks at a time. It's not that they are little, both are adult women. It's gotten to be a tad more problematic since one of my daughters moved to Boston while the other is still in California, but I'm working it out ^Pretty much same here. My daughters have grown up and work full time now, have BF's and a social life and bills to pay. Even when I have gone back they have little time to see me which I understand as I had little time to see my parents when I was out busting butt working.. We chat through Line frequently and it works out just fine. With all the messenger and video chats the world is a smaller place now giving us parents far more freedom. I miss times with them on and off but not that much. I get it now, they aren't babies anymore and they know if in the event of an emergency or concerns I can be there in 24 hours on the next flight. On the positive side, they really like that I live on the other side of the planet. they tell their friends and all plan to visit some day. Of course working interrupts that plan as it did for me growing up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgordo38 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 14 hours ago, Hedghog said: I don't miss mine. Speak to my mother on a regular basis. Visited her last year. Haven't spoke to my kids in years. At least now I don't have to listen to that constant "Don't forget us in your will Dad" and also the daily grind on problems all the way down the line including grandchildren and great grandchildren. They never take my advise so its sink or swim time for them. Yes life can be cruel and it will be a lot crueler for them in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autonuaq Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 No, not miss them. Now you have a lot of ways communication that can make them close to you. Things you not have a few years ago. as well that the expectation is that the coverage as well the possibilities will even become better and have more ways to stay in touch. And is you are willing to adapt and integrate fully and do this as well with the food and things that are in Thailand then you will have a good time. If you still lean on the things back home then you never will have the opportunity to enjoy the life abroad. The only thing you have to keep in mind is you are getting older and that make that your world is getting smaller and probably will get you to get more in need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat in Pattaya Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 NO. Seeing them once every year or 2 is enough. They are not that interested what I'm doing and vice versa, people have too much stress these days with their own lifes and don't have the luxury of 'missing' people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhippy Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Many posters on this forum seem to have an axe to grind with their home countries. Sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 3 hours ago, elgordo38 said: At least now I don't have to listen to that constant "Don't forget us in your will Dad" and also the daily grind on problems all the way down the line including grandchildren and great grandchildren. They never take my advise so its sink or swim time for them. Yes life can be cruel and it will be a lot crueler for them in the future. Hmm, I'm sensing some negativity here .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgordo38 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Just now, amykat said: Hmm, I'm sensing some negativity here .... Hmm you are right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 2 hours ago, oldhippy said: Many posters on this forum seem to have an axe to grind with their home countries. Sad. No, we all have to deal with our stuff......Every life is different.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mankondang Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 (edited) As you can tell from previous posts, this matter varies. Possibly from how relationships existed prior to the arrival in Thailand. So it's a personal matter. I love my daughters, enough to have briought them up to be individuals who can stand on their own feet, but still have compassion for others. They are both married and live in different countries with their own husband and children. Most of the time, every few months or so, Skype brings us together, but we do miss one an other more durind special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and on the anniversary of their mothers death- .Otherwise we are happy to know that everyone else is also happy. Best of luck. Edited October 18, 2016 by mankondang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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