kudroz Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 This is driving me nuts, I'm trying to understand and make sense of it - but it's rather difficult. I leave the house for maybe 1 hour, and when I come back the lights in our house are all turned on. Sometimes she will not go shower unless I'm staying on the same house floor; if I'm downstairs I know she's afraid to shower. She says it's a big house, it's a 5 bedrooms house with 3 floors. It's a house of a normal size for a western family. She says if she'd be in a smaller house, she wouldn't be afraid as much. If I go run an errant at night at 7/11, she'll always want me to take her go with me. Now she has a friend staying over, we have a small bedroom on the 3rd floor... but her friend is afraid to sleep there as she'd be all alone, so she'd rather sleep in the living room; closer to our bedroom. Please someone help me make senses out of this, perhaps it's a Thai thing - anyone had experience with this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmart Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 She's obviously scared of ghosts. Maybe you should dress up as one, c/w white sheet and rattling chains, just to vindicate her ignorance? Or just tell her to move out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobi Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 iT'S 100 % Thai thing and extremely common - even amongst well educated and sophisticated Thais. They are afraid of ghosts and spirits and hate being alone in large houses - and really hate having to sleep alone. Some Thais are worse than others, but they all have this fear. I lived in the Uk with my now x Thai wife, who was well educated in Thailand and Singapore, and she had a mild fear of staying alone. Her mother, who also lived in the Uk would never, ever stay in a house alone. When she came to stay with us she wouldn't even sleep in a seperate bedroom alone, and insisted on sleeping on the floor next to our bed - and this after 10 plus years in the UK! I currently have a six bedroom residence in Pattaya, but when Thai family comes to stay - they all pile into one bedroom - no matter how many they are! I think you have to understand and humour her, and somehow try to to wean her away from her worst fears over a period oif time. Getting the house "blessed" by monks from the local Wat might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guardian Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 She's obviously scared of ghosts. Maybe you should dress up as one, c/w white sheet and rattling chains, just to vindicate her ignorance? Or just tell her to move out? Don't you think that's a bit harsh suggestion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexth Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 I think you have to understand and humour her, and somehow try to to wean her away from her worst fears over a period oif time. Getting the house "blessed" by monks from the local Wat might help. Very good advice, it's almost all you can do to help, talking to her and explaining would also be one thing, but I'm afraid that after more than one year and a half with my TGF, the results are very pale. We'll be spending the new year in Romania and booked a 11 bedroom mansion with my friends, I can't wait to see her getting through that . Maybe she will pass her fears, will let you know if this will work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobi Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 We'll be spending the new year in Romania and booked a 11 bedroom mansion with my friends, I can't wait to see her getting through that . Maybe she will pass her fears, will let you know if this will work Romania?? Transylvania??? Dracula country??? The poor girl will drop dead with fright! Only joking Alex - probably got the wrong country - geography's noit my strong point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexth Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 We'll be spending the new year in Romania and booked a 11 bedroom mansion with my friends, I can't wait to see her getting through that . Maybe she will pass her fears, will let you know if this will work Romania?? Transylvania??? Dracula country??? The poor girl will drop dead with fright! Only joking Alex - probably got the wrong country - geography's noit my strong point Actually, yes, the villa is about 50km away from the famous Dracula castle, in the mountains . I've already prepared her for that and hope everything will turn out being ok, I'm sure that the beauty of the places, the snow and the landscapes will help her forget about ghosts, spirits and everything else, the cold weather is what's bothering me, hope that flu shot I got her last week will better take effect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Sounds like you are in a good situation. Put your BIG house on the market and plan a smaller house. You will have extra money in your pocket and she will be happy in a small house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rajah Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 (edited) 1. Thais are afraid of ghosts, that's right. 2. Thais are never alone, when raised. If they are alone, they feel lonely. Westerners can deal with "being alone" and even like it. Thais are not able to stay home alone. Edited December 3, 2006 by Rajah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 (edited) Some monks are the ghost-busters of Thailand. Pay a group of monks to banish the ghosts from the house. We all know its BS but she might believe it and it may help her cope better. Edited December 3, 2006 by Grover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmart Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 She's obviously scared of ghosts. Maybe you should dress up as one, c/w white sheet and rattling chains, just to vindicate her ignorance? Or just tell her to move out? Don't you think that's a bit harsh suggestion? Just kidding. Had my "Troll Detector" meter setting tuned a little high this morning. One cuppa later, all is well in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave111223 Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Everyone has their strange phobias. I guess you need to figure out what the phobia is: - Fear of Dark? - Fear of Ghosts? - Or simply Fear of Being alone? Then you can try and help the issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunopie Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 This happened with my wife, so I got her a free-range organic hamster. One night the hamster tried to kill her. It's true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t.s Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 people have pointed out to you that a fear of ghosts may be the reason she is afraid to stay alone, and it may be the manifestation of her discomfort, but the real issue is the thai sense of community and the lack of it in your house. chances are she has never been alone for any significant amount of time .from her youth with the extended family, to friends at school, to colleagues at work, thais surround themselves with people. they cannot fully grasp the "western" desire for privacy and solitude. this is also why thai women who live abroad often get very lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexth Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Everyone has their strange phobias.I guess you need to figure out what the phobia is: - Fear of Dark? - Fear of Ghosts? - Or simply Fear of Being alone? Then you can try and help the issue. We all know that mental health in Thailand sux, the monks are the last and only solution. At least, I'd go with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brahmburgers Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Reminds me of another reason I'm glad I'm staying single. Serious fear of ghosts quickly loses it's 'cute appeal'. I wouldn't doubt that the silly 'ghost' thing is why Thais feel uncomfortable unless there's mucho noise around. Leaving all lights on doesn't help with electric bills nor with light pollution (an unknown concept among Thais). Thais also won't live or tarry near a cremation spot, which makes such places relatively pleasant hang-out spots for farang who want to get away from the helter skelter of ordinary Thai spaces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokrick Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 people have pointed out to you that a fear of ghosts may be the reason she is afraid to stay alone, and it may be the manifestation of her discomfort, but the real issue is the thai sense of community and the lack of it in your house.chances are she has never been alone for any significant amount of time .from her youth with the extended family, to friends at school, to colleagues at work, thais surround themselves with people. they cannot fully grasp the "western" desire for privacy and solitude. this is also why thai women who live abroad often get very lonely. I totally agree with you. My wife and i used to live in a large condo and when i worked away her sister used to stay with her and if the sister was unavailable it was her niece. It appears that they always need someone from the near family around. We since moved to a smaller condo and problem solved. Her sister still stays though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry57 Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 i dont like big houses either as they freak me out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidjtayler Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 I dont like big houses either and Im not too fond of the dark too ... Best thing to do is buy a dog or a cat .. then she wont feel alone if you pop out .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossy Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 This may be a long shot, but worth a try. My missus is nervous on her own (not as bad as our OP though). I've noticed that when I'm away for any length of time, her large teddy bear moves in to the bed. I assume he's there for something to cuddle, growls a lot when I boot him out though. Maybe, just maybe, something like him that you buy as a loving present will help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robski Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Buy her a couple of house dogs, you know those yappy little things that ladies love, they can sniff out ghosts a mile off. don't let them take over the bedroom though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 This is simple, nearly everyone in the childhood was scared of the dark or ghosts at some point in time when they were younger. But after been left awhile or made to go back to bed by your parents and just sleep through it makes you not scared after awhile. Thai's usually live in a smaller house and with many family members. They dont really have to deal with it until they get older. My gf also used to be scared of ghosts etc when I met her, i just told her she is being silly and went out with the boys, I go out with the boys nearly every weekend, at first she used to have the lights on but now she isnt scared of them. Sometimes when im pissed i joke with her by stareing behind her looking scared and yelling ghost, it used to scare her and was fun, but now it sux and doesnt work any more. My Advice is, just let her deal with it and she will get over it. Just like everyone got over it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teddy_bare Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 This is simple, nearly everyone in the childhood was scared of the dark or ghosts at some point in time when they were younger. But after been left awhile or made to go back to bed by your parents and just sleep through it makes you not scared after awhile.Thai's usually live in a smaller house and with many family members. They dont really have to deal with it until they get older. My gf also used to be scared of ghosts etc when I met her, i just told her she is being silly and went out with the boys, I go out with the boys nearly every weekend, at first she used to have the lights on but now she isnt scared of them. Sometimes when im pissed i joke with her by stareing behind her looking scared and yelling ghost, it used to scare her and was fun, but now it sux and doesnt work any more. My Advice is, just let her deal with it and she will get over it. Just like everyone got over it i admire your helpful antics regarding the Ghosts. Ask her about the ghost called Pbob. Apparently, many reported actually happenings with this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 what is pbob? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chang_paarp Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 i admire your helpful antics regarding the Ghosts. Ask her about the ghost called Pbob. Apparently, many reported actually happenings with this one Pbob is a ploblem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
londonthai Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 inviting monks to your home might only instill in your wife all those believes - the better option might be a form of therapy, like hypnotherapy or neuro linguistic programming (which work well with phobias). I think that a lot of cheap thai tv movies, kind of soap operas, and many horrors are packet will supernatural events - weed them them out, especially in the evening, before the bed. engage her mind with work or entartainment - reading good books, learning language or some usuful skills, computer, internet, discussion forums. more generally it's a fear of being attacked at home (having a good security and a dog, maybe even a large one and dangerous) and a fear of loosing you when you go out (that's why she goes with you instead of visiting neighbours) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmart Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Maybe some of you pansies have been watching too many "Scooby Doo" reruns on the cartoon channels? Ooh! A ghost? Those "phi-bobs" are the worst!!!! Get a grip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delray Tweed Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 what is pbob? Pee Bob, I believe it is spiritual possession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 (edited) This is driving me nuts, I'm trying to understand and make sense of it - but it's rather difficult. I leave the house for maybe 1 hour, and when I come back the lights in our house are all turned on. Sometimes she will not go shower unless I'm staying on the same house floor; if I'm downstairs I know she's afraid to shower.She says it's a big house, it's a 5 bedrooms house with 3 floors. It's a house of a normal size for a western family. She says if she'd be in a smaller house, she wouldn't be afraid as much. If I go run an errant at night at 7/11, she'll always want me to take her go with me. Now she has a friend staying over, we have a small bedroom on the 3rd floor... but her friend is afraid to sleep there as she'd be all alone, so she'd rather sleep in the living room; closer to our bedroom. Please someone help me make senses out of this, perhaps it's a Thai thing - anyone had experience with this? Please someone help me make senses out of why the OP doesn't understand this. Perhaps it's a farang. My wife says she feels sorry for the wife that the husband can be so inconsiderate. Edited December 3, 2006 by meemiathai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidbkk Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 lol, beware pbobspbob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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