Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand?

[joeyg]

4 hours ago, sanemax said:

 

  Honest, Not lying , financially independent, got her own job , never worked in a bar , doesnt have a child in the village to support , her whole life doesnt revolve around eating, drinking and watching TV , has some ambition in life , thinks about the future, rather than just thinking about the next thing they have to do .

    That sort of thing .

Then you can build a relationship which can progress

Indeed.  Roll the dice.  Your best odds are 50/50.

[Beats56]

On 23/12/2016 at 1:17 PM, LannaGuy said:

I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

I second that. Wait till your older. Yes there are a lot of nice beautiful girls here but save your money now. Get a company pension and then retire here. Too many traps here for someone as young as you. My son lives on a wing and a prayer. ..23 but has traveled the world and was working in Nam for a year. But he wishes to roam the world and hasn't got saddled with a wife and a child. You have a lot of living to do yet.

 

[Beats56]

On 23/12/2016 at 2:21 PM, ezzra said:

Beware of the gold diggers type of women, witch almost any women in this country

weather they think they doing something wrong or not by using you as a walking

ATM machine,

as long as you keep your wits about you, and don't give/commit to more than you're

willing to lose, you be ok... otherwise, some of the ladies in this country are worth

marrying and befriending....

 

My Tgf mother is Thai and here father is Chinese. From what I have read that makes a nice girl. Not so high strung as just a Thai girl. And can say that is true in my relation ship. Very rarely have seen her angry or upset. Our almost 5 year old can get to her sometimes and me too. But her sense of humor won me over. It makes all the difference in the world.

[Gary A]

18 minutes ago, Beats56 said:

I second that. Wait till your older. Yes there are a lot of nice beautiful girls here but save your money now. Get a company pension and then retire here. Too many traps here for someone as young as you. My son lives on a wing and a prayer. ..23 but has traveled the world and was working in Nam for a year. But he wishes to roam the world and hasn't got saddled with a wife and a child. You have a lot of living to do yet.

 

 

That's very good advice. I've seen guys come over here with a pocket full of money. Often they make stupid decisions, run out of money and then what? A guy with a decent liveable pension is pretty much protected even if he spends a little too much of his savings. A retired guy does have to keep a decent nest egg available in case he has serious medical problems. Health insurance for us old farts is just too expensive to pay for. I cancelled my policy at age 65 when they priced me out. I have enough of a nest egg that I can pay what the maximum payout of the policy was. Hopefully I won't have any serious medical problems but one never knows.

[Beats56]

2 minutes ago, Gary A said:

 

That's very good advice. I've seen guys come over here with a pocket full of money. Often they make stupid decisions, run out of money and then what? A guy with a decent liveable pension is pretty much protected even if he spends a little too much of his savings. A retired guy does have to keep a decent nest egg available in case he has serious medical problems. Health insurance for us old farts is just too expensive to pay for. I cancelled my policy at age 65 when they priced me out. I have enough of a nest egg that I can pay what the maximum payout of the policy was. Hopefully I won't have any serious medical problems but one never knows.

Ya I will be 63 soon and no medical insurance. Stupid me started jogging and think I tore a cartridge in my knee. Been a week and still sore. Going to a clinc tomorrow. I will weigh the cost of a operation here or back home as it won't cost me in Canada but then there is the air plane flight cost. Your brain says go and your body says no.?

[Bulldozer Dawn]

Just now, joeyg said:

Just now, Anon999 said:

What is your definition of quality?

Now that is an excellent question!

 

 

My definition of quality is the same as that adumbrated by Robert. M. Pirsig in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

 

However, I hold little hope of a sensible discussion of metaphysics on Thai Visa.

 

[joeyg]

Just now, Bulldozer Dawn said:

 

My definition of quality is the same as that adumbrated by Robert. M. Pirsig in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

 

However, I hold little hope of a sensible discussion of metaphysics on Thai Visa.

 

Hardly metaphysics.  Read it in ,my senior year of high school.  Why the suspense what did he say.

[Bulldozer Dawn]

Just now, joeyg said:

Hardly metaphysics.  Read it in ,my senior year of high school.  Why the suspense what did he say.

 

Well if you read it you would already know wouldn't you?

[joeyg]

33 minutes ago, Bulldozer Dawn said:

 

Well if you read it you would already know wouldn't you?

Read it in 1974. actually in college. Refresh my memory.  Geez they're still comin' out of the wood work.

 

Edited December 25, 2016 by joeyg

[joeyg]

Heavy man... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zen_and_the_Art_of_Motorcycle_Maintenance

[elliss]

 

   Farangs  come to LOS ,  for  one purpose only ,   Sex .

               Dress it up ,  whatever way you like . 555

 

[Berkshire]

16 hours ago, JAFO said:

 I know quite a few guys years ago when I was in my late 30's early 40's that did the "Travel to SEAsia get a bride move back" deals. All failed in short time once back ( 1 guy did it twice). Here is why. In Thailand these younger girls will hook up with just about any westerner man. They turn a blind eye in hopes of a better life. If this said couple moves to the US, society pressures take there toll,. They are always being stared at, snide comments, laughs, pointing (especially if the age difference is significant). Then of course she starts to realize she is with some old guy and she sees that many other younger western guys are attracted to her. Soon she realizes this guy who was a good catch in Thailand is not a good catch at all in the states. They quickly leave the guy because they can.

 

I've always figured that this happens a lot with guys who take their Thai women back home.  Even the young guys.  If a guy is socially awkward back home, i.e., sort of a geek, Thai women may not be able to tell when they're in Thailand.  But once they're back on the guy's home turf, the Thai women will figure it out.  They'll also figure out pretty quick that the guy is financially below average.   

[JAFO]

2 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

 

I've always figured that this happens a lot with guys who take their Thai women back home.  Even the young guys.  If a guy is socially awkward back home, i.e., sort of a geek, Thai women may not be able to tell when they're in Thailand.  But once they're back on the guy's home turf, the Thai women will figure it out.  They'll also figure out pretty quick that the guy is financially below average.   

Indeed. I witnessed it numerous times. Didn't matter. Vietnamese, Filipino, Thai. The guy I knew that did it twice was Filipino gal first. Thought his luck would be better with a Vietnamese 2nd time. Both failed same way.  He also chose women 20+ years younger and they were attractive. They quickly realized that the guy was not a good catch on each they saw the opportunities available in the states. Didn't take them long to figure it out and left for a guy closer to their own age and likely more socially aligned.  A great majority of older guys just want to sit at home. The gal going to the US wants to go and do things not sit around and cook and clean. Especially 25 to 35 years old.

 

I think the OP at 29 is in a good spot but clearly should live it here for awhile to have a balanced understanding of culture and values.  Not all people want to move to the US so forcing it won't work. 

[LannaGuy]

22 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

 

I've always figured that this happens a lot with guys who take their Thai women back home.  Even the young guys.  If a guy is socially awkward back home, i.e., sort of a geek, Thai women may not be able to tell when they're in Thailand.  But once they're back on the guy's home turf, the Thai women will figure it out.  They'll also figure out pretty quick that the guy is financially below average.   

 

Correct and, at the end of the day, that is all that matters to a young girl with a much older guy but this guy is 29.  When I was 29 I was chasing all the birds back home but now the worlds become a 'smaller place' so come out here for couple holidays a year - get yer rocks off - then go back and do something useful like a career there is plenty of time when you are 50 up for coming  here and chillin till death. You are a 'mark' at 29 and you'll still be one at 50+ forget all the romantic BS and enjoy.

[JAFO]

6 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

 

Correct and, at the end of the day, that is all that matters to a young girl with a much older guy but this guy is 29.  When I was 29 I was chasing all the birds back home but now the worlds become a 'smaller place' so come out here for couple holidays a year - get yer rocks off - then go back and do something useful like a career there is plenty of time when you are 50 up for coming  here and chillin till death. You are a 'mark' at 29 and you'll still be one at 50+ forget all the romantic BS and enjoy.

But see here in lies the issue. Not all want to just shag women all the time. Some want more. Back during my college days and a few years after shagging women was boring.  Now for the guy who missed all of that in his prime and likely was socially awkward is likely trying to re-live what he missed and here that works as these gals have no idea and they have minimal expectations and little to compare it to.

[calbear09]

18 hours ago, JAFO said:

Lots of good debates going on in this thread. Good Read. I had a nice break browsing all 11 pages

 

One thing I take away from it is that clearly there are some extremely angry bitter western men that  seem to want to blame western society on their marriages that went bad. I guess it easier to blame people then take part responsibility for it failing 

 

Also a tremendous amount of stereotypes. There are many sections I was going to quote but decided naah. 

 

Clearly a great majority of men posting on this site are late 50 through 70. They either pay for sex or live out in the country and have a skewed view on things in most cases. Sometime back I used to be disgusted with old men that would pay a young girl for sex. It still doesn't sit well with me but I have let it go. They will do what they do. I read a post from one guy in this thread where he said he loves their body, and the talk and fun up to the sex part and soon as they are done he can't wait to have them leave. Weird dynamic to me. To each his own. There was also talk about STD's. I stand that I couldn't do it because the thought that the gal who that guy just hooked up with just took a nut from some other guy (or guys) a few hours earlier (maybe even minutes). Just wouldn't fly with me. I prefer a monogamous relationship and a companion where we share a balanced life but its just us. Sex is a just a part of it. Sex can't keep a man, the novelty wears off and its boring, even if a different gal, VJJ is VJJ and a Nut is a Nut, same same 555 

 

To the OP wanting to find a women, You user name is CalBear09 so I will go out on a limb and guess you are a Berkeley grad. Congrats. I know quite a few Berkeley, Davis, Stanford grads.

 

 For what it is worth, here is my take on the difference between women here in Thailand vs US. In the US women have much higher expectations(Especially California).  They are educated and independent. Typically they are looking for a man that has suitable characteristics, drive, education. The Asian women that go to the US do it for that reason as well. They want more out of life. I totally respect that. The men on this site that have an issue with it are the ones that could not handle that type of relationship.They prefer this world in Thailand where they can land any girl at any age and where they perceive there is no threat of their woman leaving them and they do not have to work at it much to make it work. Just grunt and open their wallet. I took my wife to the US (Silicon Valley) for 4 years and it did not change her one bit. But she is a college grad, older and had worked gainfully in Thailand. She enjoyed the experience in the US but was happy to leave and move back home. I could live in either place. Did not matter much to me I just prefer Thailand at this juncture in my life. I know quite a few guys years ago when I was in my late 30's early 40's that did the "Travel to SEAsia get a bride move back" deals. All failed in short time once back ( 1 guy did it twice). Here is why. In Thailand these younger girls will hook up with just about any westerner man. They turn a blind eye in hopes of a better life. If this said couple moves to the US, society pressures take there toll,. They are always being stared at, snide comments, laughs, pointing (especially if the age difference is significant). Then of course she starts to realize she is with some old guy and she sees that many other younger western guys are attracted to her. Soon she realizes this guy who was a good catch in Thailand is not a good catch at all in the states. They quickly leave the guy because they can. You being young would likely avoid that if you are a nice, clean cut, educated guy who is polite and has some manners. I do not think there is anything wrong with coming here to meet a women but you should live it here for awhile because if you move back it will have its own set of problems with her adapting. If she has a degree here it will not be applicable or recognized in the US. ( I know my wife struggled with that when we moved). There was another poster in this thread that had some good insight by saying that not all Thai women here are ignorant young uneducated peasants. Many are quite the opposite and I know this because I work in Thailand at a large company so a 30 to 35 year old Thai women working at nice job is going to be a hard sell to get her to want to move back to the US. She might be well set up here.  And it is an absolute load of shit that educated, well of Thai women have no interest in Westerner men. Sure maybe not that fat dumpy old coffin dodger guy but not the working business men type. In fact I find that quite the opposite. These gals want more and to become a bit more worldly. My point is come visit, get out and about. Stay away from the low rent scam areas. Do not internet date. Go live in area that suits your style and then just go sit in a coffee shop, walk a mall, go bowling, whatever. You will meet a gal and the journey begins.

 

Btw, I came here to Thailand exactly opposite  your intentions. I did not come here for a woman. I didn't care. I figured if I met one, I would meet one. I wasn't in a hurry, wasn't glazed over, wasn't trying to go back in time and shag anything on 2 legs. Sure I got hit on by many at the company I worked at but I just smiled and politely moved on.

 

Anyway Good Luck. There are good women in the US. You happen to live in a extremely competitive area. Yes they take more effort and work but you just haven't met the right one. Yes it harder to date and develop a relationship but it happens and they do work and many are very happy. Just keep in mind all women want security. Its their make up not matter what part of globe.

 

 

 

 

Thanks. Good advice.

[madmax2]

Plenty of really nice, honest Thai ladies but do not expect to meet them in a bar or massage parlour in the majority of times

 

They make excellent partners and are very loyal, fool around at your own peril if they are not bar ladies, Show the same respect to them as you expect yourself and you will have a long and happy relationship

If you are a heavy drinker stick to bar girls who do not care how much you drink

[Boon Mee]

4 minutes ago, madmax2 said:

Plenty of really nice, honest Thai ladies but do not expect to meet them in a bar or massage parlour in the majority of times

 

They make excellent partners and are very loyal, fool around at your own peril if they are not bar ladies, Show the same respect to them as you expect yourself and you will have a long and happy relationship

If you are a heavy drinker stick to bar girls who do not care how much you drink

Very true and for those who do take their brides back 'home', they find that Thai gals export much better than some other nationalities.

Brazilian women come to mind most specifically.  You won't find many of them north of the Mason-Dixon Line in the States.

[madmax2]

1 hour ago, Boon Mee said:

Very true and for those who do take their brides back 'home', they find that Thai gals export much better than some other nationalities.

Brazilian women come to mind most specifically.  You won't find many of them north of the Mason-Dixon Line in the States.

My wife has no interest in living overseas, if she wanted to we would/could

That's fine with me i love living in Thailand with my Thai wife and her direct family (son and grandchildren)

[MasterChief86]

It's okay i guess, it's your life anyways. feel free to explore all the options. though to build intimacy and connect at a deeper level, you'll first have to jump through the language barrier. I mean what if your dream wife/mate doesn't know a thing about English?

[ThaiWai]

On 12/24/2016 at 10:08 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

Unfortunately, even Asian girls become infected with western PC BS when they live in western countries. I made a big mistake getting married to a Thai girl, but at least I never made the biggest mistake of taking her "home" to live.

 

He has no problem with visas. He can afford the "Elite" card.

 

Considering his age, he is gonna need more than one elite card to get to 50, Let's see how his seemingly massive wealth holds up to $30,000 usd hits every 10 years.  He said he was into asian girls not girls in Asia.  Yes there is a difference that you and I know about.  As far as the guys that come here to shop for a wife and then take her "home" as you say, that is nothing but a recipe for disaster.  Taking someone from their homeland, generally speaking, especially a place like Thailand, will only result in resentment.  You take home a puppy, not a wife.  On that note if you have a GF that constantly mentions your home country and a desire to go or potentially live there, that should seriously raise your eyebrows.  I came here because I like it here.  Women was an afterthought.  I got lucky with the girl that chose me (yes, she found me) but whether she stays or goes it will not impact my decision to be here.  Mind you I speak in generalizations.  I know there are guys out there that have succeeded outside this mold but I find it to be mostly sound advice.  

[LannaGuy]

On 12/26/2016 at 9:52 AM, JAFO said:

But see here in lies the issue. Not all want to just shag women all the time. Some want more. Back during my college days and a few years after shagging women was boring.  Now for the guy who missed all of that in his prime and likely was socially awkward is likely trying to re-live what he missed and here that works as these gals have no idea and they have minimal expectations and little to compare it to.

 

well here's the rub... why not shag women all the time?  (I do) and it never get's boring and the 'variety' keeps it fresh. Why settle for one?  what's the point?  are you lonely?  co-dependant?  so many have faced 'issues' and even if you are lucky why do it?  if you want a 'wife' fin one back home why here?  probably because she's 20/30 years younger and what's your attraction to her?  love?  get real!  if you are happy all power to you but no point in visiting a sweet shop and sticking all through life with mars bars.

Edited December 29, 2016 by LannaGuy

[JAFO]

3 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

 

well here's the rub... why not shag women all the time?  (I do) and it never get's boring and the 'variety' keeps it fresh. Why settle for one?  what's the point?  are you lonely?  co-dependant?  so many have faced 'issues' and even if you are lucky why do it?  if you want a 'wife' fin one back home why here?  probably because she's 20/30 years younger and what's your attraction to her?  love?  get real!  if you are happy all power to you but no point in visiting a sweet shop and sticking all through life with mars bars.

 

Funny. It gets boring(you are only kidding yourself). VJJ is VJJ even when different unless you happen to be easily amused or didn't get it much. I do not care how you slice and dice it. If you feel good twisting sheets with girls/women who only care about getting paid and turns a blind eye while you pretend you are the man than all good. To easy IMHO.

 

But again in fairness, I did my deal from 18 - 30. It was fun. Never paid for it, spring break America. Did many and loved them. Good drink, Good music, Great unpredictable sex.

 

FWIIW my wife is only a few years younger than me but as I learned, sex can't keep a man whether you have many or one. It has to be broader, intellectual, challenging and more engaging . A nut is a nut. LOL! 

 

 

[Cook my sock]

Interested to know how someone coming over with that purpose would go about looking for a Thai wife.
If they don't know Thai culture and all the classic mistakes that can be made.
It would be easier and cheaper to drop 50k in the ocean and come back looking 10 years younger.

[sandemara]

What's wrong with Mexico, Puerto Rico, Colombia or other parts of Central America? Beautiful girls, similar social and cultural challenges. Girls are the same anywhere. Also, you won't need as much money to escape back home to family and friends who understand you and your expectations, values etc if things go pear-shaped. Thailand can be a hard unforgiving place for people with stars in their eyes.  If you're not prepared to learn the language (beyond the pidgin bar drivel) before you get here it's unlikely you'll find genuine contentment. The girl of your dreams could well become  a nightmare before you even realise you've  been plucked, stripped, sliced and diced.  The country is a place with vast numbers of desperately poor and hungry people who've been exploited by their "betters" for decades, centuries.  They've learned harsh survival lessons very well. Any native female could run rings around an innocent western newcomer. Their lives and the wellbeing of their families depend on their master class acting skills - especially telling gooey-eyed dopey males blinded by testosterone what they want to hear.  Women have seen how easy it is to mislead  innocent, trusting farang men; hundreds of them every year. Even the very young and apparently innocent will be ages beyond you.Swimming with sharks is a fair analogy. Never go swimming alone (especially after dark on the reefs), or without armour. Never reveal your financial circumstances. Modest is smart. Good luck, and good hunting.

[JAS21]

Yes ... if you want to spend your life with an asian babe then rent out your house. That will probably cover your living expenses anyway.

 

Come here and get an elite visa then you will have plenty of time to find a teaching job along with your quest of finding the right asian babe ........

 

Good luck .....☺

 

PS

 

find a government worker and you will get free medical cover.

 

find an air hostess and you will get cheap flights

 

unfortunately I did neither .....☺☺

 

Edited December 31, 2016 by JAS21

[Colabamumbai]

Just now, sandemara said:

What's wrong with Mexico, Puerto Rico, Colombia or other parts of Central America? Beautiful girls, similar social and cultural challenges. Girls are the same anywhere. Also, you won't need as much money to escape back home to family and friends who understand you and your expectations, values etc if things go pear-shaped. Thailand can be a hard unforgiving place for people with stars in their eyes.  If you're not prepared to learn the language (beyond the pidgin bar drivel) before you get here it's unlikely you'll find genuine contentment. The girl of your dreams could well become  a nightmare before you even realise you've  been plucked, stripped, sliced and diced.  The country is a place with vast numbers of desperately poor and hungry people who've been exploited by their "betters" for decades, centuries.  They've learned harsh survival lessons very well. Any native female could run rings around an innocent western newcomer. Their lives and the wellbeing of their families depend on their master class acting skills - especially telling gooey-eyed dopey males blinded by testosterone what they want to hear.  Women have seen how easy it is to mislead  innocent, trusting farang men; hundreds of them every year. Even the very young and apparently innocent will be ages beyond you.Swimming with sharks is a fair analogy. Never go swimming alone (especially after dark on the reefs), or without armour. Never reveal your financial circumstances. Modest is smart. Good luck, and good hunting.

 

Excellent post, wise man, with many years in this land.

[Cook my sock]

Thailand throws a lot of challenges. One is you might find your dream girl but when you get married she likely will become a different person overnight. Just hope that you like that different person [emoji41]

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/25/2016 at 6:55 PM, Gary A said:

Several years ago up here in the boonies, an old guy, probably about 80 years old married a stunning little girl. She was in her mid twenties. He built her a beautiful big house and bought a new pickup truck. After the house was finished, furnished and the dust had settled, she asked him to get out. We felt sorry for him and asked him what he was going to do. He smiled and answered that he was going to do nothing. He said that he still had a lot of money and being married to that beautiful creature for that couple of years was worth it.

LOL. That old guy had the right idea. While you can't buy love, money sure buys a whole lot of shakin'.

 

However, he was lucky she didn't try and take the rest of his money by suing him for divorce in court.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 1/1/2017 at 4:09 PM, Cook my sock said:

Thailand throws a lot of challenges. One is you might find your dream girl but when you get married she likely will become a different person overnight. Just hope that you like that different person

Happened to me. However, it was after we moved close enough to the family that they were able to work on her.

For a happy marriage don't live anywhere near them and don't have a big enough house for them to stay in with you.