The week that was in Thailand news: Who cares about Somchai Saboo?

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Who cares about Somchai Saboo?

 

 

The surprising, successful candidate stepped up proudly to take the oath of office. He had pledged to do his utmost to uphold the principles of the state.

He said he would stop the carnage – the carnage on the roads, that is, and promised to end corruption in Thailand. He raised his hand on the steps of government house.

Then I woke up.

Turns out I had nodded off during some live broadcast from Washington, DC, missing all the action. Never mind, I thought, only a decade or three to wait in Thailand.

While those in the United States may actually believe the rhetoric that promises to bring back greatness, end this or that, we are still waiting in Thailand for even a semblance of democracy to return.

Let alone get the chance to pick someone who might actually do something to address the woes of the kingdom – if indeed such a Thai has yet been born.

The ‘best’ we have now are those who set up committees, those who trot out excuses, those who give us failed initiatives dressed up as new, those who think only of their face and standing rather than the common good.

Oh well, it wasn’t all bad news this week. At least the leader of the free world is now every bit as comical as the leaders of the military dictatorship and their underlings and bidders who pass for what rather oxymoronically is called the ‘civil’ service!

Lip Service more like, for first up this week was plod who announced that battle lines had been drawn in their fight against the public. For so it seems. Rather than being the defenders of the law and servants of the public they seem to see Joe Soap – or Somchai Saboo as we might call him– as the sworn enemy.

In Bangkok they announced less checkpoints for traffic offences – these have become far too problematical what with all those pesky phones recording the slightest mischief in uniform. No, now comes the innovation of hand held “quality cameras” to record our misdemeanors.

Each of the nicks will get a Nikon or two. Expect to see some fancy holiday snaps from the upper echelons of the force in a few months as the campaign, like so many others, dies a death.

Then came news of what ‘get tough on minivans’ really meant – lo and behold a committee had decided to come up with a 20 point checklist for the vehicles that included – wait for it - doors and brakes. Not a word on the drivers.

Clearly the transport department subscribe to an ass about face view akin to: “People don’t kill anyone, guns do”.

Finally I realized what minivans look like – Daleks from the BBC’s long running Dr Who! It’s something about the grille and how they lurk behind me on the road ready to pounce should I veer my bike into their path. If only these lookalikes for the time lord’s adversaries could actually speak: “Exterminate! Exterminate!” they seem to say.

I thought the land department was going to exterminate or at least terminate them. I guess someone must have realized there was no money in that; more in fitting them with pointless GPS.

Meanwhile, following the devastating rains inconveniently coming in the rainy season in the south, we were all treated to the latest innovative approach to encourage more tourists – smile. Yes, just smile and they will come flooding back as all is forgiven. And as if to prove the point, the sun had come out in Samui and the beaches were full again.

Well, I smiled, though it was Rooster’s special smile Number 35 that no Thai can understand. The smile that says I may look convinced but I’ve been here 35 years and this is the 35th time I’ve heard this nonsense! I followed up with smile Number 36 – on hearing that the met office had said: no, there would be no more storms.

That’s the smile when one thinks back to weatherman Michael Fish who famously said on UK TV in 1987 that there would be no hurricane, before one knocked down virtually every tree in southern England!

Also falling into the devious smile category was the bank in Lampang that grinned the grin that said thanks for your custom but don’t expect us to help you, when a local woman had her finger sliced off by the branch’s front door.

The manager’s first question – rather than the outdated “Are you alright?” - was about insurance. Discovering that she had none, they directed her to the long queue at the government hospital where she waited until the digit was decidedly dead.

Still, there was a silver lining – at least she still has the middle finger on the other hand for the next time she is passing the bank.

But I do wish they would tell me the name of the bank. How I would love to go into my branch and tell the minions why I’m withdrawing my millions.

Top story of the week had to be the news that 20% of victims die in ambulances stuck in the traffic. And as if to herald the news we all knew, we were treated to a swathe of stories of Thais blocking ambulances with people either dying in the back or waiting at home in vain.

It should have been the limit when one pick-up driver in Bangkok stopped a siren wailing wagon to check on a bit of white paint deposited on his precious truck. But no, the limit was when the constabulary, for want of a better word, totally missed the point and said that the woman was dead anyway. So their actions in fining everyone for the accident were all that mattered.

Somchai Saboo proved to have no importance again.

While following the story that Barnum and Bailey circus was closing came news that circuses are alive and kicking in Thailand. My favorite of the week was the “legless” farang burger seller who – after doubtless being glad of Facebook publicity – seemed aghast that so many people showed an interest.

This former boxer, athlete and pilot cum tough guy cried his eyes out as forum posters, predictably, got on his case for perhaps not having a work permit! I would have expected a tougher skin for someone who had survived then thrived after losing both legs when a train hit him in the UK.

More Brits contributing to the Thai circus were blogger Richard Barrow, Dicky to his mates, and the BBC’s Jonathan Head who I’ll just call Dick anyway.

Dicky Barrow and Dick Head tweeted (or was it twitted?) about Thai kids handling guns and rocket launchers at Children’s Day army shows. With so much ammunition to bash the military, they chose this one – really showing their inexperience in Thailand for the nation’s nippers have done this since time immoral whether a junta or what passes for a democratic government has been in power.

And so to this week’s Rooster awards. “Forum Quip of the Week” went to the poster commenting on the story about a hundred items of ladies’ underwear mysteriously adorning a roadside tree in Ayuthaya. I thought it was just my first wife who lives in the area hanging out her smalls until I saw the size of the garments but “static” made me laugh saying investigators will need to be “undercover officers”.

While the “Is This the Beginning or is This the End” award went jointly to the headline on the Finn who survived a suicide plunge in Pattaya – “He was Finnish but it was not the end” – and the 6 million baht Thai lottery winner who didn’t know whether to laugh or cry after revealing that her German husband was on his deathbed.

Borrowing a Trink-ism I shall only say that any comment on either story would be superfluous.

The “Compassion Award” goes to the Thai authorities who let a man out of jail who promptly went to extort 50 baht from a monk and when it was not forthcoming knifed him to death. Let’s hope they meet again in a dark alley in the next life when the roles might be reversed.

Finally the winner of two prizes went to the folks at the Drugs Suppression Division who got the “Overkill” award and, a Rooster rarity, the “Job Well Done Award”. Both were given in the case of the arrest of the drug lord at Swampy for while it took an incredible 100 men in the departure lounge to bring down the skinny Laotian they at least appear to have got someone of a decent size at last in the war against Ya Ba.

For we have read dozens of stories over the last year of some hapless mule taking the rap for a thousand tabs in a backpack while here was clearly a serious player whose arrest may put a dent in the death toll that this insidious drug seems to inspire.

Lastly, Rooster enjoyed the story of “Phra Julian” who has been a dedicated monk in Mae Hong Sorn for nearly two decades and has only once gone home to the ‘rat race’ of his native Canada. It got me thinking; of course, here was the perfect answer for all those moaning forum posters harping on about the requirements of 90 day reporting at the immigration department. All they need do is take up robes; who knows, they might even improve the image of the monkhood.

A case when might is right.

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-01-22

[faraday]

Michael Fish & his weather report.....remember that so well!! 555

[Krataiboy]

Lovely piece of scribbling. I'm still laughing.

 

Thanks!

[hanssna]

Very well written ! Thanks

[Artisi]

Not a good one, no no - a good many. 

[biplanebluey]

I always look foreward  to these reports -------- lively and entertaining. Thanks Rooster keep em coming.

[Wilsonandson]

 

Great report!